Day 347=5

Tuesday, January 21, 2020; 0719

I feel strange this morning. It’s not a bad thing. I just feel overly energized and charged. So, I feel good, but I don’t feel grounded and centered. I think it seems strange because I can’t imagine what would have triggered it. 

I had a night full of dreaming. I know I was dreaming all night, but I can only remember a little snippet of one. There was a woman. She is a Oman I know, but I find her particular presence in the dream as odd. She’s someone I adore and admire but she is not someone I talk to often. Nonetheless, in the dream she said to me, “You’re not looking for a career.”

I was very confused by this. In fact, in the dream I argued her on that. “What are you talking about. I am looking for a career. That’s why I’m applying for these jobs.”

In hindsight, after waking up, I have to wonder if it wasn’t as much of a statement of what I am doing as it was one of what I should be doing. [Or not doing, as the case may be.] It’s very similar to the ‘Two INcomes’ message from two years ago. I thought all along the message was that I needed the two incomes. I put myself through hell trying to maintain both incomes. In the end, after all was said and done and the smoke cleared a little, it seemed to turn out that I only needed the one. I thought the message was, “you will need both incomes,” when, in fact, it was apparently, “you will not need both incomes.”

Is this similar? Do I need to step up my game and focus on something I haven’t thought of yet as far as a job/career? Or, am I putting too much focus and emphasis on something that is not going to be?

I have a job thing I want to go to this morning. It is for fast food management. The restaurant isn’t far from The Dormitory. I figure I’ll go out and see what I can do. This is the same company I just looked into a week ago. I got the information from a different location. When I got home and tried to apply online I couldn’t find anything listed for my state. I mean, like I couldn’t find my state at all in any list. So, here we are. I’ll try it this way. Maybe that was the point to it. I truly feel that I read better in person than I do on paper anyway.

For right now, that is all that is on the books for today. I looked already this morning and there is no work that I can pick up today. So, I will take care of this and then just do whatever I do.

I met, briefly, with The Shaman yesterday. I was telling him how I am in this strange space lately. I said I didn’t have the words for it and it did take me several tries to get something out. I am really in a place where I am truly just day-by-day. I look at upcoming things and I make plans. But I’m just taking it in stride. I focus on today and let it be what it will be, doing my best to just get through it. Then, I wake up and do the same thing the next day.

This is where we want to be in life. This is the goal. Do NOt Worry About tomorrow for Tomorrow Shall Take Care of Itself.

It just seems like I should feel more concerned or worried than I am. However, I have found that by just accepting what each day offers and working with it, things have worked out just in time and in just the right way.

For instance, I was a shut-in this past weekend. Without the brakes I had no way to go anywhere. This put a pinch on seeing The Princesses Sunday, which was really my only goal. But, we were able to make arrangements for last night, so that worked itself out. A couple of other things came into play because of the shift.

First, I was able to finish The List gift for Big ‘D,’ and that would bring energy of its own till it was all said and done. Second, because I was going all the way down to where the girls live to see them, it expanded my work radius for the day. This allowed me to do work yesterday that would generate, at the very least, the money for my car insurance payment tomorrow. [Assuming, it all pays by tomorrow.]

So, let’s look at yesterday.

I woke up knowing that I had three gigs scheduled. There were two others that had been available the night before, but I was limited by scheduling restrictions. So, the first thing I did was see if they were still available and scheduled them. This was going to make for a long day. But, it not only gave me something to fill up my time, but it earned me the money I was focused on n manifesting.

I started with two jobs that were up this way. Neither one took too terribly long. No more than 30 minutes each. [And, really, the one was only about 10 minutes.]

From there I went to visit The Shaman, The Pillar, and The Putter three. I wasn’t quite expecting the whole troupe, but you get what you get. This was a good visit. I left with gifts, which always makes for a good day. There was also good dialogue and a certain degree of affirmation. 

I left there in Just Enough time to get the rest of the day done. So, I headed out from there and set off on my next 30 minute journey to a job. This was a repeat job from the morning. So, this time it took like 5 minutes. I knew what I was looking for and where I was going so there was no wasted time nor steps. 

The last two jobs were the ones that were going to pay the most. They were also the two that were slated to take the longest - about an hour each. The task was something tedious. Long story short, I was to take pictures of every, aisle, display, or set-up of a particular category.

The first store I went to was a small corner store in the city. These types of businesses don’t generally let a person take photos. I wasn’t very hopeful going in. It was a very small storefront, and it wouldn’t have taken long - had they actually let me do it. They didn’t. The problem with this is then you have to wait for the company to determine if your reason for not doing the job is valid. This means there is a chance to not get paid. As of this morning, it was marked approved.

I left there and went to the last location. This one took a little over and hour and only because I had to spend 10-15 minutes trying to charge up my phone enough to finish. This was my own fault, I didn’t have it fully charged when I started.

The day was moving along quicker than scheduled and I had managed to take about 20 minutes to relax and eat a bit before I did the last job. After, I sopped and got gas and then headed to pick up the girls. Time wise, the day was working out perfectly.

The Princesses and I had a good time at dinner. I do miss them so much. And, I worry about them. The things they tell me about what they see and hear in their lives is just upsetting. I told them to put some positive thoughts and energy into my life turning around so that we can have our weekends again. They need a reprieve, a retreat from the insanity.

We exchanged Christmas gifts. They didn’t see how upset I was. They got all these wonderful things from my family and theirs - like a certain kind of tech watch and a tablet by the same company, both brand new. Here, all I had to offer them were these silly little angels I made. I cried to myself because I wish I could do so much more for them.

They gave me three shirts, which I can’t wait to wear, and. $50 gift card. They said they didn’t really know what I needed so they got the card. This was more perfect than they realize. First and foremost, I was just commenting yesterday that when I have the funds I really have to get some socks. All of my socks are getting big holes in them. I can now get socks. Also, if worse comes to worse, I have the leftover funds for groceries. Not what they had intended, and not my preferred way to use it, but you work with what you are given. Food is as good a need to satisfy as any other.

We weren’t sure where we were going to eat. They had wanted to go to a certain chain restaurant that puts an emphasis on ice cream. The closest one was a half an hour away. It was also, most likely, out of my budget range. After getting gas, I only had so much to work with and there was no more. Of course, I was willing to do it if that was what they wanted. I don’t like saying no to them for anything. If it was what they wanted I would have driven the time and the gas away. I would have fed them even if it meant I had to not eat.

They decided they didn’t really need to go there. I think it was the drive time that persuaded them. Instead, we settled on a small local diner. It’s a place they have gone all their lives - with me, my family, their mother. It’s cute and quiet and quaint...and affordable. So affordable, in fact, I was able to offer them an appetizer and I still walked away with some money in the account.

I got them back hoe and then, on my way back to The Dormitory, I stopped to see some new [old] acquaintances. I couldn’t stay long because I was just fried at that point. [All in all I was out and about and doing for 11 ½ hours yesterday.] But, it was a nice visit and I am glad that I stopped.

There was a moment. I don’t know how to describe it or explain it. But the one gentleman seemed to purge. He brought up a lot of things from his past. There was such anger and hurt in his words and voice. I sat there and let him do his thing.

Somewhere along the line I had realized this is why I had come. I could let him just purge his stuff nad I could take the energy and transmute it. It was a minor healing moment for him.

This is one of those things I talk about in my life. I always end up in just the right place at just the right time to do the work of Spirit - whether I try or not. And, it’s interesting because I was so tired that I had thought about not visiting at all. I just kind of wanted to come home and crash. But, something deep inside persuaded me to stop for at least a little bit.

I posted a picture of my creation for Big ‘D’ on social media yesterday. [The same picture that headed yesterday’s post.] It was very popular and someone has inquired about similar works for the Easter Holiday. I have a couple of pieces of wood with which I can work, so I guess I will set to that. 

The Professor also contacted me about trying to do some online selling for him.

Till the day was all said and done, this is where we have come to - 

- I worked and made the money I must pay for my car insurance tomorrow. As of this morning, all but one job have been approved. Now it is just a matter of waiting for the deposits. We’re going to assume that they will come in Just Enough time. 

- I managed the whole day, full of work and over 100 miles in travel, on a very limited budget. I fed myself a packed lunch and took a thermos of coffee. I fed my daughters a fair enough meal and ended up with some leftovers for myself. I put some gas in the car and parked it last night with just a little bit more fuel than when I started the day. 

- I received the gift card which will allow me to do what needs to be done. 

- I visited with friends and my children. 

- I received other gifts. Some just for fun. Some with purpose. 

- I created a market for a my crafting work. 

- I was presented with a proposal for a little work and income. Long term, slow moving, but still its there and will take very little effort to at least put into place.

So, for now, life is happening. Just as it does...and should. I have to get myself together and go about this job thing. Then I can relax into whatever else is ahead.