Epiphany

Monday, January 6, 2020; 2237

Gibbous Moon in Taurus.

Rise: 0725

Set:  1650

Cold, damp-ish. 

The day started a little rough - residual, perhaps. By noon, energy came up. 

The day of Epiphany.

When last we left off, it was somewhere around Friday or Saturday, I believe. The weekend is really kind of a blur. [But, more on that in a moment.] Nonetheless, The MattMobile was starting to breathe life once more, but was still in need of a tire change. Finances were bleak, but not hopeless. Food was getting low, but it seemed as though there was Just Enough. 

It was also determined that, since we are at the beginning of a cycle, now is as good a time as any to just take a closer look at things. I noted that we would track progression through the weeks and numbers. 

Now, numbers can get complex if you let them, but then, any system can. It all goes back to one of the concepts of The Qabalistic Tree of Life. Though we may only see things from one particular plane of perception, life is happening on innumerable levels at once. [Infinite Realities.] Practicing this is not nearly as important as accepting it. 

For instance, in Astrology, the mass of men focus solely on the Sun sign. But, this is only one aspect of our being. There are so many other considerations - Moon Sign, Rising Sign, the different houses, etc, etc. It all depends on what you want to get out of it. 

If you are just playful and taking a cursory look at it, then your Sun Sign is sufficient. It will tell you Just Enough of what you want to know. But, if you want to get a little more intimate, more personal, then you would need your Sun Sign [The Outer], The Moon Sign [The Inner], and The Rising Sign [Perceptions of You.] This would even be true of Daily Horoscopes. It is always best to read all three. In my case that is easy. Both my Moon Sign and Rising Sign are in Virgo. But, if you want to go even deeper then you must look at all of the Houses and Alignments. This too can be expanded into a daily, or present, forecast. 

Numbers are no different. The thing with numbers is that they are always at work. It all depends on where you wish to start counting. For instance, this October will mark 22 years since My Death - A Master Number.

I am at 11 months of homelessness and this leg of my Life Journey. Also a Master Number. 

Or, if you look at the progression of My Breakage this past Yule it was a total of 3 weeks. 3 is the root number of creation. It is also significant of The Underworld. The heroes would enter The Underworld - for whatever reason, under whatever premise - and emerge stronger, greater. They would remain in The Underworld for some cycle of 3 - 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years. 

But, for our intents and purposes, we are going to scratch the past. It matters not where in the Grand Scheme of things we stand. We are going to start counting with now. 

Based on our recent definition and analysis of 0, I would think it safe to say that last year was my 0 year - the time of gestation, conception; The End & The Beginning; The place wherein all things exist but nothing has form. 

That would make this my 1 year. Let me take a moment to point out, also, that this is a 4 year. [2+0+2+0=4.] So this is my emergence and a year of foundations. 

We are in January and that would be the 0 month. I’ve mentioned often how January is always a dark month for me - a Void of it’s own. Nothing is ever definite, nor concrete. Things just float about, gelling as needed. 

But we are not even going to give great consideration to the year or the month at this time. We are going to simply look at weeks. 

Tomorrow ends the 0 week discussed in the last post. The week began with January 1st. So, this was the week in which things would begin to take form. Ideas would spring forth. There was great introspection, for I could do very little else. 

I think my biggest take away was that I am done. I am done with the pushing, and the stressing, and the trying. I have run the gamut over the years and, obviously, I am getting something wrong. So, starting with nothing, I am going to step back and let The Universe take control. Spirit knows better than I what I need and that is all I have ever really wanted. 

The next insight is that I need to take all of that energy from the stress and the worry and transmute into things more positive - such as my writing and my ritual. I must slow down and take care of myself - on all levels. 

I have been running a typical pattern with these things lately. I get into a routine for a few days and then life activates and I get harried and distracted, so I fall off a little bit. Case in point - I didn’t do the LBRP, nor the BRH today. Or, I missed my day of writing on Sunday. [But, that is a whole other matter.] However, I have been striving to stick with my Daily Devotions even if I can only visualize them because I am driving or with friends or even lying down. I must continue to strive for these things, as opposed to letting them slip by as I have in the past. I must also take more time for meditation. [I had one today that was splendid.] 

All of this slowing down brought me to my third insight - Less thinking and more be-ing. I realized that for all of my talk I was having difficulty putting the Principles into action. 

We Always Have What We Need When We Need It

Ask & It Is Given; Seek & Ye Shall Find; Knock & The Door Shall Be Opened

Do Not Worry About Tomorrow for Tomorrow Will Take Care of Itself

Do What You Love and the Rest Will Follow

The Father Feeds The Beasts of the Wild and Clothes The Flowers of the Field. What Makes Us Think We Are Less Than These?

What You Feed Energy Into Grows

What You Put Out Comes Back to You

Life is Nothing More Than Projections, Manifestations, and Reflections of The Self

It is Not What We Put Into Our Mouths Which Defiles Us. It is What Comes Out of Them. 

Gratitude is the Best Attitude

It is these attitudes and thoughts that set the stage for moving forward. Of course, there were other insights and revelations - patterns and relationships and cycles and such. But again, for now we shall deal with Each as it Comes.

So the 0 week found me in a definite Void. I was just drifting, waiting for something to float by that I could just grab and hold. 

First, the phone service was saved. Then, The MattmMobile started and things were definitely looking up. Saturday I would change out the flat, take care of the air and get Just Enough gasoline. This morning I would finally get the tire switched back. I was slowly getting back into action. 

With what little bit I had in The Dormitory, plus some donations [not to mention a brief raid of Hoagie’s stash] I would have what I needed as far as food for at least a few days. I did eventually run out of regular coffee, but I have been using the backup. 

However, through all of this, I still had no idea what was going to happen with a job or income. I only knew that I had what I needed for the moment and I needed to trust in the next. I did inquire one morning at The Valley’s Favourite Convenience Store [local store] about a job. They are not hiring at the moment but they are accepting applications. Now, this doesn’t mean I couldn’t get hired but it does decrease my chances. The challenge in e-applying is that often places like that will restrict you to applying to one location per 90 days. But, that’s neither here nor there at the moment. 

Now Saturday would involve some drama and some trauma. Don’t worry, this time, it wasn’t mine. I just happened to be along for the ride and the aftermath. But, it did leave things in a Void on Saturday night and most of the day on Sunday. 

On Sunday evening, I would receive a text from an associate. She wanted to treat me to lunch today. She said she also had a little token of appreciation for me because of a project I had worked on. Giving in to the notion of letting my days form themselves, I accepted. Later, I would remember a $25 gift card I have in my possession. I figured as long as I was going to be out and about, maybe I could stop and get some of the toiletries I need. Or, maybe I’d get some food. Something like that. 

By Sunday evening [The Day Before] I would finally gain some motivation. I managed to get some things tidied up and organized. I grabbed a shower and shaved. [Which is what made me think of shopping.] 

This morning I woke around 0500. I was very pleased with this. I didn’t quite utilize the time to its best but I was still kind of foggy headed from yesterday. Nonetheless, I did eventually get into my day. I would get the tire switched back and make a video and prepare for whatever may be the day ahead. 

I can’t tell you just how it felt to be able to drive around today. I was home bound for almost three full weeks. The ability to drive and be out and about and take care of business was just such an incredible sensation. I was more grateful to be getting back to life today then I was when I got out of prison/rehab, or even the hospital last year. I’m not going to lie. I cried a little. 

The car was a little fickle this morning. It started once to move it for changing the tire. Then it wouldn’t start after I was done. But, it did start just fine when it was time to leave for lunch. And, for the most part, it was consistent for the rest of the day’s travels. 

Lunch was nice. I have known this person for over a quarter of a century. She is a colleague, a peer, and, most importantly, a friend. It was nice to sit and catch up - about things in general as well as specifically. There was talk of picking up the project again in the spring. It will be work and some income. It will be what it will be. But, because it came in The Void, it is a priority, a must. 

Another piece of work came to me during The Void. This morning The Professor had reached out to me. Before the holidays we had discussed me doing a project for him. Then we kind of went silent on the matter and I thought it was just over and done with. Today, however, he would reach out and ask if I was still interested. Same project - one less wall - same pay. I do not know yet when I will start, or finish, that, but it has been placed on the playing field. 

I was gifted $50. I combined that with my gift card and got both the toiletries and the groceries. I have food again for several days, including plenty of coffee. I even had funds left over with which I was able to treat myself a little bit. This would be advantageous later on when ‘Jim’ would stop by unexpectedly and in need of some friend time. 

My funds are still very low, and I am having account issues I must look at and resolve once again. But, I have food for several days and I have just enough gas to face my day tomorrow. 

I know what some of tomorrow is to be, but I will save that for tomorrow. I want to get in the habit of writing in the morning, while I can. I just want to establish the pattern of writing, consistently, before life takes over. That way if I can’t do it in the morning I may still be driven to do it when I can. 

In regards to writing, I want to establish another routine. Though, I think it is important to document each day at this time, doing so as a full blown episode can be a little consuming and overwhelming. So, I will reserve the formalities for one writing a week. This should be on Sunday. This should have been yesterday. I missed it, but I am moving on. There is no more back-stepping. My determination to make up my past has kept me from grasping onto my future. 

So, for now, Peace & Blessings, Fellow Travelers.