Just a Week

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true! 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is a Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

 Looch

BJ & The Bull

Ace

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Wilson

Zason

St. Diane & You (5)

Brother John & Sister Jen

The Bee Man

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Mayor & The Turkey Man

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, February 23, Two-Thousand and Twenty-Jive. Time...???

Theme – Timing is Everything

 I say all the time that The Universe works itself out. Timing is a big part of that. Through this journey I have seen that. I've seen t in little things like this week when I was tired and worn out on Tuesday and it just so happened that I had an hour between therapies during which I could rest and nap. The timing was perfect. The timing of this whole journey has been perfect really. Like, if it had to happen, now was the perfect time. That's hard to explain. Those realizations come and go in the moment. One example was the winter. I hate working in the winter. I won't drive in snow and ice. I had issues with my heater in the car. So, it's little things. It's not big, monumental things that mark the journey. (Those will come at the end.)

Lesson – You Won't Get There if You Don't Work at It

 It's such a strange experience. I had so little strength or control on my left side. My arm was all but dead. I certainly have more life in it now. It toook work to get here. Now, there is a whole list of new Goals to reach. I told my PT I wanna "dance" again. He said, "Start doing it. Just put music on around the house and move." I need to be able to type again.[Seriously, this shit is ridiculous.] Iwon't type again until I start typing. I want to be able to do Reiki again. The only way I'm going to get there is to start doing some Reiki.

Observation – Work Ahead

 I've always had this tendency. If I know I am going away for a few days, I will slowly start packing a week before. When I have an upcoming project, I will move and manipulate things into place to set me up for when that time comes. I do it over the course of days. Just one little piece at a time - as I'm heading that way or I think of something I'll need. Even going to an appointment, I will start piling my wallet and keys and things I will need a couple of hours before I go. The truth of the matter is, I developed this habit to compensate for my ADD and forgetfulness. I'm too scattered of a person. So, I work ahead to reduce stress and confusion. I work ahead to allow myself time to think and remember what I need. However, I now find it to be a useful life tool in general. It seems to help with the overall flow of things.

The Post

 It was a good week. They're all good really. Even the week that I had the stroke was a good week. As long as life is happening, it's good. But this actually was a good week.

I got my second soak in this week and it was intense. It was very intense. I have memories of 2 distinct visions that night. The first is kind of hard to describe properly, and it was also the second one had that night. It involved me and people from my life.

It started with seeing images of some people I know. I would see them and then this energy would shoot from me to each of them. Then they would light up. Each image would give way to the image of another - usually some sort of mutual acquaintance. The energy would spread to them. And on and on it would go. On and on and on. Far into my past. The most obscure connections. Continuing until all were a part of this glowing web.

I get the obvious message. It is the connection [and importance] of everyone. The One. The All. The Whole. But I found that the experience filled me with a great sense of gratitude for everyone. Many of those connections are long gone and quite a few of those ended poorly - but still I find myself thankful for the experience.

I hope I can carry that understanding into future connections - knowing that no matter how brief or seemingly insignificant the moment may seem, there is power there. I also wonder how different our lives, our world, would be if we learned that young.

PT and OT are going good. There's still a lot of work to do but they are both recognizing and acknowledging significant improvement. There's more mobility in my arm and hand. I even passed my driving assessment. My gait has returned to [just about] normal.

In fact, I am hitting my 20th PT session tomorrow. That brings me to the end of the research program. I have my final assessment tomorrow. I will be curious what the data says [if they can share it with me.]

The process is all so weird to me still. I go to my sessions and I give my all. I focus on the things we discuss. I have exercises to do - which I'm not so good with lately and I have an elctrical device in the same place. [I want to ramp those up this week.] But, I do other work at home. I do actual work - cleaning, moving, etc. I use my left arm/hand as often as I can. I think I use it more now than I did before the stroke. There's still lots of things that I can't really do [like type] but I do try to make use of it at times.

With all of that, very often, I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I still don't know what my life could possibly look like on the other side of this journey. Every day I think of things I may still need to do that I haven't tried - like climbing a ladder. I also think of things that used to make me me which I may never do again. For instance, at OT they had me twirl a pencil. I realized that I use to do this sort of thing all the time with my fingers and hands - twirling, juggling, moving, manipulating - and I may not get enough back to do those things anymore.

But, I can't allow myself to feel discouraged. Despite any lack, there has been improvement. I notice something new weekly, if not daily. I am way better than the stroke left me in the hospital and there has been quite the change since my release from rehab.

Also, it is a long journey and I knew it was a long journey. I'm really only about 1/2 to 1/3 of the way there.

I'm liking how my life is coming together. I do like my daily routine and I feel like I'm finally at a place where I can focus on it. This past week, I ended up doing to the basement area what I previously did on the main floor. It wasn't as much of a project but still took me two days of focused energy. [I'm not adjusting well to getting tired easily all the time.] On the third day, I cleaned the remainder of the house. It was time - based on the current routine. The next time will be in two weeks, which is perfectly timed because I am having my first little gathering.

But it is that overall routine to which I refer. My weeks have settled into place. They flow naturally to each point - trash, cleaning, soaks, blog, casdt video, and so on. Everything seems to have found its place and happens without thought or effort. Now I need to do the same with my daily routine. Many parts of it are longstamding and already happen on their own - like my devotions. But there are many changes as well and some of those have been harder to stick with.

I'm hoping this week will find me in better space to do just that. I don't have any big commitments [project-wise.] The shop is a big project, but not one that has to be done all at once. Everything I have to do now can be broken into smaller bits. I'm looking forward to taking those on in bits. It's what I nrrd in order to stay focused on the new routine. I also don't currently have anything directly in front of me that is time sensitive.

Basically, there is nothing to distract me, except my distractions - gaming, tobacco, etc. I still struggle with these things. They are much improved, but I have also seen some setbacks. I had my smoking under control and I was on point to quit. Then, in the final hour, I slipped bacwards. It's been quite a spiral since, but I am ready to jump back on that horse. In fact, I'm hoping that these little bits of projects - in conjunction with th new routines - will serve as a distraction from the distractions.

It's all such a strange head trip. I'm finally living my life the way I always wanted to. I'm doing my devotions. I'm taking care of my home. I'm relaxing when and how I want. These notions seem so foreign to me now. Four years of homlessness can mess with that kind of flow. And before that was life in Olde Geistopia and I was never able to live my way without lingering feelings of guilt. I still have the guilt.

Who am I to be making so much out of my journey - to even find enjoyment in parts of it? Who am I to be casually going through my life, doing things I enjoy and appreciate? Those feelings are compounded by the fact that I am living off of other people's generosity. Don't get me wrong. Financially, I am living responsibly. I pay my bills and spend other only on what is needed in the moment.

Mostly.

I did buy myself a 6 pack of beer a month ago. I've used the beer as props in the cast videos. I had one during the Super Bowl and I had one casually the other day. There is still one left. I have bought myself tobacco but that's not as bad as it seems at less than $15 over 3 weeks. I bought myself and the kids some BK one night. I wanted to test my 25% discount [and, to be fair, I thought I was only getting for Cuddlebug when I offered.] So, there have been things but I try to keep it tp business. [something I am use to.]

 Still, even over those simple things I carry some guilt. I carry guilt every time I find myself sitting and resting. But then I must remind myself that none of this is by choice. Believe me, I would love to be working and earning money. And, when not working, I would rather be getting lists of things done every day rather than having to sit because folding the laundry overworks my system.

Still, I push onward. I did 2 things this week. First, I delivered food for an hour this morning. It was hard and that was long enough. But, it's a start and I made a lil bit of money. I'm going to do the same thing - perhaps weekly - and try to slowly build up tolerance and strength.

I also did a Reiki session. Overall that was good. It only lasted about 20 mins. That is all the strength I had. However for that 20 minutes there was power and potency. It was a long distance session [client in another state] still there was lots of validation. She confirmed my experiences and I hers.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt. And there is the newer TikTok @WTML23

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Nu Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC:  Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak