The Journey Ahead

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Yeah, it’s true. 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co. 

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Warden

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Hoagie Snowflake

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop (may they R.I.P.)

The Looch

The Bassett Hound 

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason

Oh, Danny Boy

St. Diane & You

Brother John

Thing 1 & Thing 2

The Nameless One

All the People in My ‘Neighborhood’

White Gurl

The Anomaly 

Good Man, Charlie Brown

‘Jim’

Someone Else

The Rox

CCPA

The PA F&AM

PDT

Senoll #5

Superstar

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Baby-Mama Rabbit

My Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous. 

It is…Saturday,January, 4, 2020. Time...Developing.

0826

Rise: 0725

Set:  1647

I’m not 100% clear on just which phase of the moon we are on. Everyone documents it just slightly different. Somewhere around the Waxing and The Gibbous.

Mars has moved into Sagittarius. [Which actually explains quite a bit already this morning.]

Misty, but not raining. Cool, but not cold.

I do not have the words for how my body or bodies feel today. Just...healing. Everything is just moving so slowly and I can’t quite get to where I feel at peak performance. I somewhat feel guilty for this. There is so much to do and so much to tend to and I just can’t push. But then, I think about what my bodies have been through lately - the stress and the strain and the trauma. 

I had a slight break at Thanksgiving when I learned I couldn’t see my daughters and the job I had so perfectly placed was going to be pushed back a week, completely destroying the plans I had set into motion. That was a definite shock to the systems. Trying so hard and failing without effort. 

Then the job would start. My bodies were going through strain because I was trying to recalibrate my sleep cycles. Only, there wasn’t time to actually sleep or rest. My mind, my body, my spirit - between them, something was always moving. This was definitely strain. Then the experience of the heights. That was trauma. I wish I could give a fair and just description of how my physical body reacted to that. 

Of course, then I would drive a drill bit into my hand. This was, without a doubt, the worst pain I can recall experiencing. Later, when I recovered a bit, I cleaned actual bits of flesh of the bit. Not just skin, but flesh. The amount of bleeding that I did. The body working overtime to heal and mend. The antibiotics. The infections. 

Then there was Yule and we all know how that went. 

I have been through the ringer on all levels of being. I survived. I did not pass and I am still here. That can only mean that I am healing. 

I was awake by 0600, which is a step in the right direction for me. I’d still like to tweak that just another hour if I could. I did my Morning Devotion, rushed and ragged. I passed on the LBRP and BRH. Those would come later at 1031. These were a bit more focused and powerful. I moved a bit slower, visualized stronger. 

As far as I can tell, the purpose of ‘Now’ is simply self re-discovery. 

“...what he wants to do…”

It’s true, I suppose.  I don’t really know what I want to do. Not anymore. If I could choose anything it would to just ‘Be.’ Over the past several days, my experience of just ‘Be’-ing has been monumental. All I’ve really tried to do is let things flow and to flow with them - taking actions when actions were necessary and not thinking [too much.] I didn’t do so well with the not thinking. That is an Observation. 

I made it this morning on my walk to The Valley’s Favourite Convenient Store. I was so focused on and determined towards the walk. I was moving much faster than I really wanted to be. I’ve noticed that previously. I set out to go and I just go, not really enjoying or appreciating the actual walk. 

Furthermore, I get so deep into my head, that I become unaware of so much. I caught myself, on the way back, turning thoughts over so rapidly in my mind - jumping from one to another - and I realized I was missing so much. I stopped and breathed a moment. Then I could feel it for the first time - the cool air against my face. It felt good and refreshing. More than that there was a dampness on the air, just a slight mist - a gentle tingling on the skin. I was missing that because I was so caught up in thought. 

Thoughts of the past and things that have or have not been. Thoughts of my family and the situation that has become over the years. Thoughts of my day and what I was going to do. Thoughts of survival. Thoughts of the future and what may lie ahead, or how I will move through it. 

All of these thoughts and not really an important, or relevant, one among them. The closest may have been what I am going to do with my day. But, even that I still do not know. The only priority on the list today is the tire. First, I have to get it off and put on the spare. Then I need to look at it and see if it’s worth putting more air into it. Then drive for air, assuming the car will start today. While I’m there, I’ll get what I can in gas. Of course, it is also a rainy day. 

So, all I really know of the day is that I must take it step by step, moment by moment. Each As It Comes. This is no more than I knew when I woke up. 

All of that thinking...and for what? What has been accomplished? What has been resolved?

Nothing. A little maybe. I just don’t know. 

(So many thoughts, and already forgotten.)

The rest of yesterday was quite interesting. I had thought about adding to yesterday’s entry [this morning’s if you are being technical.] But, then I realized I am caught in a cycle of tweaking and finishing up one post and immediately beginning the next. I’d prefer to only have one a day to work on. 

My friend picked me up and we went off to do whatever. First stop was recycling. A whole $2.40. But, hey, it’s $2.40 more than I had, the cans are gone from The Dormitory [freeing up some space,] and the cycle can begin again. 

From there we ventured to The Putter’s. I wasn’t sure of this move at first. It’s a whole different brand of life over there and it isn’t for everyone. [I have legit lost friends.] I had tried to maneuver it for the end of the day but it happened in the middle. 

It was more than I could have imagined and I am not sure that I can do justice to a description of the experience. I watched as souls came together and some lifted up. I could feel the energies stirring and I knew, without a doubt, that we were all exactly where we were supposed to be. 

I thought on how I had come to be there - by simply letting life be. 

It has been the struggle all along. My best moments, my most powerful experiences, come from just following the flow of things and letting what is be. And, those moments generally come when I am living outside of the life for which everyone tells me I should be striving. 

What do I want to do with my life? I don’t know. 

But before that, there is one other moment, experience from yesterday, that I wish to share. 

One of the goals, yesterday, was to pick up my mail. In the stack, there was a large envelope from a very specific company. Personally, I had only come across them through an associate that had done work for them. I know what they do - they deal in finances and investment. 

I twitched when I read the name. Reality halted for a moment. It was like a glitch in the system. There was no reason for me to be receiving mail from this company. The Pillar was close by and muttered, “Investments you didn’t know about.”

In the ‘Real Stream’ of things it ended up being materials to get a 401 through The Distributor which I no longer work for. 

It is the underlying tone of it all, though, that piques my interest and makes it significant. 

This has been a Theme for many years in my life. It has come in the forms of meditation and signs and omens. It has even come through third parties - such as The Shaman and The Pillar. 

Somewhere, out there, at some juncture in time there is money with my name on it and it is waiting for me. 

(“All of a sudden,One Day, it will be different.”)

*snap.*

I didn’t know when or how it would come to pass. But, it is the thought that has carried me through so much. I could bear through the poverty and the trials, because, “One day it will all be different.”

*snap.*

I still don’t understand it. I know not what to make of it. But now, when I am facing my deepest poverty and hardest strifes it re-emerges. It is why I used the Rune of the Day picture for yesterday’s post. It was The Rune of the Day - unexpected inheritance. 

On one hand, I would like a home. I would like a place to settle and to be - a place to share with my daughters and friends. A place to which others cold come to just ‘Be.’ But, then, I accept that it may never come to pass. It may not be what I achieve. I don’t need a home. I can still function and be. I could load up in the right vehicle and just gallop all over, telling the tales. 

That much I know. The stories are in me and I must get them out...somehow. 

[Again, we have reached a point, Fellow Travelers, where the thoughts are so abundant I cannot keep up with them. So let me finish today with this…]

I have forever spoken of the Cycles and Rhythms of life - the patterns that emerge. I have, for just as long, spoken of numbers and finding those patterns, cycles and rhythms through the power of numbers. Perhaps, my current life situation is an opportunity to further demonstrate [or even understand] those theories. 

Contrary to popular belief, the beginning of a thing is not 1. 1 is the emergence of a thing. The beginning of a thing happens in 0. 0 is the place of conception. It is The Void. It is where we have thoughts or notions or inspirations. It is what ultimately sets the direction. 

Take, for exaample, a look at our own lives. We count birthdays, time of existence, darting with the day of our actual birth. Yet, there is an entire 9-10 month gestation period in which we exist, but don’t. 

We are being forged and formed. The idea of who we are is just beginning. Then we are born, we emerge, and we set off to 1. 

So, let’s apply this to the year. 

We are in the first week of the year, which means technically, we are in 0 - The Void. It is in this week that creation begins to happen. We start with nothing and head towards something. 

What has 0 brought me?

It has brought great introspection. I am not, nor have I ever been, the Elmo prime to of any kind of perfection. But, at the end of the day, my intentions have always been good. I have found myself wrestling with notions such as Forgiveness and Divine and Unconditional Love. 

I have searched my existence for a clue as to who I am. 

There are certain things that seem they must always be. I must tell the stories. No matter what I do, I will have accomplished nothing if I do not share the stories. 

Crafting. I need to craft and create. If for no other reason than it brings me great peace. For me it becomes the epitome of Zen Practices. I connect with the projects. I become one with them. I help them shape themselves into what they wish to be. I learn from them and grow with each new project. 

Spirituality. It does not matter whether it is as a minister, or a spiritual guide, or a mage, or shaman, or reader or healer...or even if it is just that I am an apprentice on a quest for knowing - the Spirituality is important. It is all I know. It is the only perception of life that I have. G-d is all there is. There are times, such as recently, that I get myth about this - that this is all I can see. Even in the act of denouncing Faith I walked in Faith. 

This is the notion, the inspiration. This is the thought that will spawn existence. I find it interesting that it came in a trinity - 3 being the prime/root number of creation. [1+1=3.] It is writing and storytelling. It is this project for whatever it is and whatever it will do. That is one. It is crafting - whatever I can, whenever I can, for however long that I can. That is two. 

The third, though seemingly separate is actually at the core of both and what ties them together - The Spirituality. 

So, these are the thoughts that begin in The Void - within 0. 

But 0 is not only about inner realization. In order for 0 to become 1, there must be some degree of physical manifestation. [Our body does not come on the day we are born. It forms along the way.]

What has been the physical manifestation? Of hat does my body consist thus far?

The phone was saved, for at least another month. I have communication and connection to the world. I have all my tools in one place. So much I can do with it, such an advantage it gives.  

The car, though not road ready, has been coming back piece by piece. The insurance was paid up, until later this month. The battery has been changed and has made a difference. The car has even started once. There is still a tire issue to get around and the matter of fuel, but I can only take these things One Step, One Moment at a time. They may both be done today or they may stretch into tomorrow. Right now there is no rush, for there is no place to go. 

But, when there is someplace to go, or business of some sort to attend to, I will now be able to do so. I have been granted mobility. 

These are my two greatest gifts so far - communication and mobility. Both of which have led to a glimmer of hope. [And, we all know how hopeless I was feeling.]

I have crafting projects. It was a struggle at the end of Yule because the tool I use the most decided to end its career. So, there are lots of things I currently cannot do. Not until I find a way to replace it anyway. 

Still, there is plenty I can do. There is a shelf to fix and a spice rack to make. I have been given a large bird feeder to refinish and paint. I may actually make some money from that. Who knows. [A moment of Deja Vu.] 

There is a small project, mostly involving paint, that literally manifested itself on top of the workbench over the week. I suppose, I can do my best to see that through. 

But more than that, I have seen a challenge ahead, an opportunity. There were a couple of projects before me, one even for The List, that I felt required that retired tool. Yet, that is not the only way to meet the end. It is just the fastest, the easiest, the most comfortable. 

There is another path before me. I can sit and actually just wield away with my knife. I’ve never really tried that level of woodworking. I’m not sure why. Perhaps because I learned the rotary tool so early and it just became the way I worked.

Nonetheless, I can continue on with the projects - a pipe, and the one from The List. They may or may not get completed. They may or may not turn out the way I’d like. But, in the end, I will have learned things. I will have challenged myself and expanded my horizons. 

I will have honed, just a bit more, an ART. 

You will notice there was nothing about a job or an income in there. I do not know what to make of this. It will happen as it happens. For all of my pushing and doing and trying and manipulating over the months I have gotten nowhere and accomplished nothing. I have to accept that I do not know. I have to allow it to gestate and emerge on its own. 

In the meantime, I have what I need for today and this is what we are taught all along. 

“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow shall take care of itself.” 

“You always have what you need, when you need it.”

I do not know how it works, but I cannot deny that, thus far, it does seem to work. All I can do is let it work, and stay out of it’s way. I can step moment by moment through my day, knowing that I will face tomorrow. I will be fine through today. I shall not want. 

I must still move slowly - doing what I can and what I must for the wholeness of my existence. This is not just anything physical or materialistic. This includes my mind and my heart. Everything races, trying to find the start. They are racing, by getting nowhere. 

It includes my spirit. Somehow in my downfall and destruction I have rekindled a spiritual flame and I cannot let it go out. 

All of my bodies need both rest and activity. I cannot push any of them but only allow each piece to find its own way. 

There are three days left of the week that is 0. 

If you’re not already there go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page - WTML, or the YouTube Channel - Welcome to my Life.

Wherever you are, and whenever you are, Like, Comment and Share. Let us know you’re there.

So, without hesitation…

For now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaand Johnny…

And, those guys, saying, “stay tuned in Fellow Travellers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: ...and Freakishness, baby.