The Journey Home, Ep. 9 - Deja Vuja De

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true! 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is a Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

 Looch

BJ & The Bull

Ace

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Wilson

Zason

St. Diane & You (5)

Brother John & Sister Jen

The Bee Man

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Mayor & The Turkey Man

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, July 13, Two-Thousand and Twenty-Jive. Time...Aware [of what I do not know.]

Theme – Live the Life You Choose

 Life is all hullabaloo. There's always this or that going on. Schedules and commitments, tasks and chores, Goals and dreams. We hustle and we bustle. We strive and we struggle. But, no matter what else is going on, no matter how harried you may feel, you must always find a bit of you in your days. You always have to make place for you. You may not be able to choose the life you're given but you can live the life you choose within it.

Lesson – Trust in the Lord G-d with All Your Heart

 I have so many ways I can talk about this. But there is one course, one series of events, this week that make it stand out to me. On Wednesday, at OT, we talked about some of my quests and adventures. I told them several stories about how I wanted to go in one direction but Spirit had its own ideas. Lots of argument and debate but ultimately Spirit won. (Spirit always does.) And...Spirit was right...each and every time. (Spirit always is.) So, this week I had slower days on Wednesday and Thursday. I also had instructions to get extra soaks in for the moon and for dealing with The Daemon. Anyway, the debate began on whether I should call it a day or not. I wasn't adamantly opposed but I didn't think it was the best plan. As usual, I lost. I came home. Within 10 minutes of being home, I sold one of my items on Marketplace. It was picked up and paid for in less than 2 hours. I made back all but $50 of what I was behind. -$50 I can work with. So, on G-d's counsel, I made enough money to be considered good AND I still had plenty of time for the soak [which G-d wanted me to take.]

Observation – Out of Sight, Out of Mind

 I'm really just trying a play on words here. With everything going on at the moment, I find myself in a constant state of thought. Sometimes it is things I need to take care of or things I have been working at and am trying to sort out. In all this muss lately, I find it can also be a lot of feelings and fears - things I want to say, conversations that may or may not come. That's where this Observation begins. From there it seeps into every other facet of life. Don't think about it unless you have to. If you're not actually working on something to some degree at the moment then don't think about that thing. Don't dwell nor wallow. I mean, it will come to surface and you'll always have lingering thoughts. But let them go. Don't dwell.

The Post

 "You certainly haven't had a boring life."

No. No, I certainly have not. Sometimes it seems as though I am not allowed one of those. I keep working towards it and I only ever get so close before adventure abounds. That may sound neat but they're not always fun adventures...and they are rarely by choice.

I want what everybody wants. I want a job I don't hate. It doesn't have to pay a lot. I just need to survive and take care of business. It doesn't need to have any great purpose. I don't need a job to feel accomplished in my days. I need a job to pay for living. I just don't want to hate it.

I want a home where I can be me, recharge, see family and friends.

I'm having such difficulty with time lately. So much difficulty that I can't tell you if I feel like it's flying by or crawling. I seem to have lost all sense of it. Things are happening. Life is being lived. Days are passing. I just...I just can't seem to get a good grasp of it all.

This is mostly due to my current spiritual state of mind. I am trying to get through things as best I can while keeping myself centered - right thought, right word, right action. I am not looking to upset my Karmic Balance at the moment. So, I am in this like constant state of prayer and meditation trying to keep myself in check. This creates a Panic/Perfection cycle.

As I deal with the 'Real World' side of my life, I start to feel panicked and scared and tense. Then out of nowhere a wave of calm will sweep over me. Everything will seem right and turn calm - not a care in the world. Life is perfect. But, just as I get comfortable in that, the panic will kick in again. ["I don't have time to pretend life is perfect when its falling apart."] So it goes. Over and over again. Day in and day out.

I have all these thoughts and feelings that I can't have. Thoughts and feelings create attachments. Spiritually speaking, attachment is a luxury I cannot afford at the moment. Yet everything I do, every action I take creates an attachment to one outcome or the other. One outcome I don't want despite its seeming inevitability. The other is desirable - the ultimate, really - but seems impossible to achieve. So I must walk this fine line between them.

Through all of this there are constant visions, vibes, and whispers. And I am certain that I don't sleep [even a 5 minute nap] when there isn't some degree of deep Dreamtime.

Then there's The Daemon...and Shiva. I don't really have time for their games. But, then, I don't really have a choice either, do I?

The spirituality has gotten so intense that I actually asked Cuddlebug to every so often stop and give me a reality check. I'm aware. I know what's happening. I'm doing things. But I don't feel connected to nor grounded in anything. Everything is just surreal at the moment.

Physically the week was a struggle. I hit a point of total weakness on Saturday. Like every move is a challenge. It was getting harder and harder to just turn myself enough to position my foot to get out of the car. Steps were harder. My arm laid dead in my lap a lot while I was driving.

My plan for my two days off is to just move slow and easy - steady and focused. I have appointments and errands and things to do. But I can't rush or push hard. What I get done, I get done.

I think I need to change my blog day to Mondays. In fact, it's Monday right now. I piddled with it last night, but till I got home and got everything where it needed to be so I could have a clear mind, I was done for the day.

Unfortunately that now has me feeling "behind" and I got o writing first thing this morning - no exercises, no anything. That can't continue. It works out really. Monday is the reset day so there's not a lot of heavy going on. Laundry and such - things I can pace and time. So I do those things and focus on writing. No guilt. No stress.

But, you're not here for any of that. Are you, Fellow Travelers? You want to know more about the home situation.

I can't really tell you more. Mostly because I don't really know. I don't understand. I am so just floored by it. But, also, I truly am trying to move through this as spiritually and graciously as I can...and we all know I have a tendency to say the wrong thing. So, I will tell you things when I can put them forth properly.

At this point I am just trying to manage and juggle. We are slowly chipping away at plans to pack stuff up and move but we do still have our lives happening. I need to keep taking care of business as usual. I have doctors and dentists and therapies and work and projects and on and on. None of that stops or changes because of this.

We're also pursuing other avenues at the moment. We are preparing to leave but do not let that make you think I have given up on The Homestead. Quite the contrary.

Like I said, I'm trying to be detached from all outcomes and paths. It will be what it will be. All I can do is walk all paths simultaneously and only put focus on a path I am on in the moment. It' like living in 3 completely different realities at the moment.

I'm not lying when I tell you that spiritually speaking this has been extreme and intense - to the point that I do from time to time worry that I might lose my mind and slip away before it is all over.

I have nothing to ground me. In spirit and in magick you don't let your spirit just wonder. It's tethered to your body so it can always come back. In my life right now there is nothing to which I can tether.

If I tether to the path of leaving the house then I will never be able to do anything to shift that. If I tether to the reality of somehow staying here then I won't be properly prepared in the opposite event.

Visions and vibes aren't helping. So far, I can only "see" as far as what I believe is the end of August. That's where I get if I try. I don't see a resolution or an end. It's just a point in time. It serves no purpose except to remind me that though things are happening fast there is still time and I need to stay calm and keep on. Don't panic. [The answer to everything is 42.]

The visions that just happen are the kind one would think I want but because I cannot fathom the reality I cannot quite accept them. I can only recognize them. I have seen Autumn. I saw that before all of this started. Since it started, I have seen Halloween specifically. I have seen winter.

I don't know how any of that is possible. But then I didn't know in 2022 either.

The vibes aren't helping much either. For instance, I have been having a lot of deja vu. Just immense amounts. In fact, at times it has been something deeper than deja vu, something beyond. I have a history of deja vu moments for years. I'm very familiar with them. These are different. It's not just a feeling of having seen the moments before. Its more like they have always been and I am just noticing. That's the best I can describe it.

Deja vu...on 'Roids.

I have been trying to let go of the house. From time to time, I think about all the last times - last time sleeping in my bed in my room, last time turning on a light, last time spilling coffee on the floor.

So, I don't know what to tell you. For now we are going through life as S.N.A.F.U.

I can assure you that G-d is behind this all and he still has something up his sleeve. I cannot begin to guess what it is. I do not feel like it's "bad." But that doesn't mean that things won't get shaken up and life won't change in a seemingly unfortunate way.

 Time will tell, I suppose.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt. And there is the newer TikTok @WTML23

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC:  Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak

Blue Jay - Proper Use of Power

It can reflect lessons in using your own power properly. It can also reflect lessons in not allowing yourself to be placed in a position in which power is misused against you. It has the ability to link the heavens and the earth, to access each for greater power. This is a totem that can move between both and tap the primal energies at either level. Higher knowledge that can be used. The main problem will be dabbling in both worlds, rather than becoming a true master of both. Usually have a tremendous amount of ability, but it can be scattered or it is often not developed any more than is necessary to get by. Not unusual to find individuals with the Jay totem being dabblers - especially in the psychic and metaphysical fields. They know a little bit about a lot of things and they use that knowledge sometimes to give the impression that they know more. Wear the crown of true master ship requires dedication, responsibility, and committed development in all things in the physical and spiritual. A reminder to follow through on all things - to not start something and then leave it dangling. A time of greater resourcefulness and adaptability is about to unfold. Going to have ample opportunities to develop and use your abilities. Look for ample time to develop and use your energies to access new levels. Actually a member of the crow family, most crows have no fear. It is because of this the Jay can help you connect to the deepest mysteries of the earth and the greatest of the heavens. This sense of seeking pleasure - often at the expense of others - can reflect an imbalance. Sometimes jay shows up when this is happening in your own life. A tremendous ability for survival with the least amount of effort. They reflect great talent, but that talent must be developed and utilized properly. It indicates that you are moving into a time where you can develop your innate royalty that is within you, or simply be a pretender to the throne. It all depends on you. 

Cardinal - Renewed Vitality through Recognizing Self-Importance

They remind us that, regardless of the time of day or year, we always have the opportunity to renew our own vitality and recognize our own life roles. Whistles are often reminders to listen closely - to pay attention to what is blowing on the winds. Reflects that we should be listening to the inner voice (the feminine) more closely for our own health and well-being. Almost always reflects a need to assert the feminine aspects of creativity and intuition more strongly. Can reflect a need to b more careful about your diet, that what you are eating may be injurious to yourself and affecting your overall vitality. Reflects the rhythm of 12 that is going to become more predominant within your own life. Reflects lessons associated with responsibility and the recognition of the task at hand. May reflect past-life connections with the church, or even a reviving of more traditional religious beliefs, regardless of denomination. Remind us to add color to our lives, and remember that everything is of importance. 

Cat – Mystery, Magic, and Independence

Goddess Bast, Goddess Freyja, Goddess Shasthi. Study Mouse and Dog as well.

Chipmunk – (from whatismyspiritanimal.com)

Chipmunks don’t really have a lot of enemies mostly because they’re clever enough to avoid troublesome situations; this creature is very adaptable and will live nearly anywhere that suits them, including under your patio. Being picky isn’t really in Chipmunk’s character makeup.

Similar to Squirrels, Chipmunk always prepares for seasonal shifts in food supplies by stashing some neatly away. They are diligent about preparing for the future and have more than one entrance and exit to their favorite hiding spots. Young Chipmunks depend on their mother for about six weeks. Even then, the energy level for Chipmunk is pretty perky. As Chipmunks eat nuts and acorns, they also have an important role to play in spreading seeds and spores.

Norse myths tell us that either a Chipmunk or Squirrel runs up and down the World Tree delivering messages to and from the Gods (Odin in particular). The symbolism here combines with the Chipmunk’s habit of chattering as if there is always something new about which to talk. Saga, a Goddess of history and bardic arts, also has a Chipmunk companion.

An Irish Goddess by the name of Medb is said to have this little guy as a sacred animal. Medb oversees matters of health, prosperity, sexuality, and fertility; this last attribute is one that fits Chipmunk very well. Females can have up to three litters a year with five pups in each.

Chipmunk is prolific as a way of offsetting a rather short lifespan of only about three years. As we observe Chipmunk Spirit in nature, it becomes evident that they are very curious. There is little that goes undetected by our forest friend. They also seem fairly determined to do things in their own manner and time. When courting or feeling threatened, they may let out a little chirp that sounds bird-like.

For the most part, Chipmunk is not aggressive. The only time they really seem to fight among themselves if there’s the perception that food lacks. As long as edibles are in ample supply, they get along with each other very well. Greed is a term that seems to have been left out of Chipmunk’s vocabulary.

Chipmunk Spirit Animal comes into our lives for various reasons. One might have to do with the way you communicate. Chipmunk is a chatterbox, but as a Divine emissary, his words are chosen carefully. It may be time to assess how much of your discussions with others are filled with “fluff” rather than meaningful meat.

Another lesson from Chipmunk Spirit Animal deals with the element of surprise and an awareness of our environment. If you watch, Chipmunks seem to be able to appear as if from thin air, then duck away again into another realm. He knows his pathways intimately and rarely gets lost. It may be that Chipmunk advises laying low and not showing your hand too soon. He also reminds you to have sound exit strategies.

If your life has become rather dull, Chipmunk Medicine will definitely pick things up. Chipmunk is always ready for an adventure and loves exploring. When he is part of your life, it’s most definitely time to come out of your shell and find new ventures or discoveries; this need not be a huge thing. Sometimes the simple wonders are the most exciting! Chipmunk’s excitement is very contagious. And if you haven’t been very social lately, prepare for a BIG change.

Chipmunk also represents energy and activity. You will never get anywhere in life by just standing still. It’s time to get up and engage life fully. Use this season as an opportunity for changing things up so that your personal spaces are light-hearted and comfortable in every way possible. Living joyfully is one of Chipmunk’s core virtues as is playing and having fun.

When it comes to your resources, Chipmunk sometimes appears as a sign that you need to better prepare for a period ahead when finances become tight. Set up a rainy-day fund. Make sure it’s safe and secure so you can use it come proverbial bad weather.

Finally, if you are starting on a particular magical study, Chipmunk may have been attracted to you because of that emerging energy. Chipmunk is a Spirit of wish fulfillment and will power; this Guide can help you move toward greater knowledge in your arts.

Crow - The Secret Magic of Creation is Calling

Magic and creation are potentials very much alive during the day. Alchemy. Represents “ingredients,” the initial state of substance - unformed but full of potential. A reminder of what an happen if we are not looking for magic and creation every day. Magic and creation are ‘cawing’ out to us every day. Health, home and respect. Working with crows can help you to see how the winds are going to blow into your life and how to adjust your own life flights. Finding a dead crow was a sign of good luck. Wherever crows are there is magic. Symbols of creation and spiritual strength. Look for opportunities to create and manifest the magic of life. They are messengers calling to us about the magic that is alive within our world everyday and available to us. 

Deer – Gentleness and Innocence – Gentle Luring to New Adventures

They have been able to adapt to every sort of habitat. Buddha is often pictured with a deer. Antlers are symbols of antennae, connections to higher forms of attunement. Look for new perceptions and degrees of perceptions to expand for as much as the next five years. Can indicate that there will be opportunities to stimulate gentle new growth increasingly over the next few years. Leads us back to the primal wisdom. A deer’s senses are very acute. Find increasing ability to detect subtle movements and appearances. Begin to hear what may not be said directly. Time to be gentle with yourself and others. A new innocence and freshness is about to be awakened or born. There is going to be a gentle, enticing lure of new adventures. Are you trying to force things? Are others? Are you being too critical and uncaring of yourself? An opportunity to express gentle love that will open new doors to adventure for you.

Goldfinch – Awakening to the Nature Spirits

Black and yellow are the colors of the archangel Auriel. Used to invoke that aspect of this being that oversees the activity of nature spirits – the faeries, elves, and devas. Usually indicates the awakening to the activities of those beings that are normally relegated to the realm of fiction. Can help you to deepen your perceptions so that you can begin to see and experience the activities of the nature spirits yourself. Awakening to that which is normally hidden from view. In those areas where they are found, you can also find the faeries and elves. Can help us connect with those nature spirits that can show us how to heal animals – wild and domestic. A reminder that nature is speaking to us constantly and that we should learn to listen and communicate with it from all levels.

Hawk - Visionary Power and Guardianship.

Messengers, protectors and visionaries. Visionary power and leading you to your life purpose. There is a message coming. What you eat, you become. Kundalini. Childhood visions are becoming empowered and fulfilled. The ability to soar and glide upon the currents. Great Heights while still keeping your feet on the ground. Attacks by people who won’t understand you - attack your ability to soar. Teaching of higher expression of psychosis and vision. Beauty and harmony in moderation. Lead you to using your creative energy in manifesting your soul purpose. Hope and new ideas. A need to be open to the new or shows ways that you may help teach others to be open to the new. Be observant. Life is sending signals. Careful in expression. Comments and actions will be strong and powerful with the ability to tear and/or kill. 

Rabbit - Fertility and New Life

Often seen as an animal that can lead one unknowingly into the Faerie realm. A symbol for sexuality and fertility. Usually, you will begin to see a cycle of 28 days beginning to manifest in your life. Those with rabbit totems will see movement occur in their life in varying degrees of hops and leaps. It won’t be steady step-by-step movement. The leaps and hops do not usually take more than the cycle of The Moon (28 days) to occur. Plan for possibilities. May indicate the need to do some more planning or review those you have already set in motion. You do not want to box yourself into a corner. Important not to foreshadow your moves. Learning to shift from freezing to great speeds will aid in your success and enables you to take advantage of opportunities that may present themselves for brief moments. May need to examine the kinds of food being consumed. For the greatest health and well-being, a vegetarian diet, even if only temporary, will strengthen and heal. How to recognize the tides of movement within your life. This in turn will enable you to become even more fertile in your life. 

Rabbit - Fertility and New Life

Often seen as an animal that can lead one unknowingly into the Faerie realm. A symbol for sexuality and fertility. Usually, you will begin to see a cycle of 28 days beginning to manifest in your life. Those with rabbit totems will see movement occur in their life in varying degrees of hops and leaps. It won’t be steady step-by-step movement. The leaps and hops do not usually take more than the cycle of The Moon (28 days) to occur. Plan for possibilities. May indicate the need to do some more planning or review those you have already set in motion. You do not want to box yourself into a corner. Important not to foreshadow your moves. Learning to shift from freezing to great speeds will aid in your success and enables you to take advantage of opportunities that may present themselves for brief moments. May need to examine the kinds of food being consumed. For the greatest health and well-being, a vegetarian diet, even if only temporary, will strengthen and heal. How to recognize the tides of movement within your life. This in turn will enable you to become even more fertile in your life.