The Letter

Tuesday July 30, 2019; 2007

Dear G-d,

I was inspired, through a friend, to communicate with you. 

You ask of us a mere 10%. Ten percent of our worth. I think it is fair to say that, over the years, you have gotten more than that from me. All things considered. 

I have picked up and gone when The Call has come. I have allowed my body to be used, over and over again, in so many different ways. I have striven to learn and endured suffering. 

There have been times in which I have struggled with my faith. And, along the way, I slowly released my expectations and desires. What is is your will, and I merely try to make the most of each moment. 

From time to time I have asked if you - a lil help here, some assistance there. But, I never really made demands and accepted what I have been given.

The Divine Promise is that we will always have what we need. I have. I have and I am truly grateful for that. The Promise is also that, in you, we shall live abundant and prosperous lives. 

This is where I seem to have issues. I am working hard for hardly anything. On top of that, I still let myself be yanked around like sort of puppet and I scarcely complain or ask for myself. I give as much as I can and sometimes more than I can afford. 

My friend mentioned that even the Bible tells us that, from time to time, we must remind you of your Promise. Even Job had to give you a lil hell before he received his return. I have never felt right being demeaning of, nor firm with, you. But, I’m afraid I must.

I live an impoverished life. I am literally pay to pay with nothing left over and no savings or plan for the future. I am living in my car and that is just barely. If you truly have a plan for me, then you must know that I cannot continue on like this. Frankly, I am quite surprised that I have lasted this long. You have me a slight break last week and my take away from that experience was that I must have a home.

If you wish me to serve any purpose at all, even just being a father to my daughters, then I must have a place to which I can retreat and recharge and recuperate. 

I need it soon, almost immediately. I do not know how much more I have in me before I lose my mind a bit. 

In order to have a home, I need an income to support it. These two things have always been the crux, haven’t they?

Whatever your plan is for me, it is time. It is time that I received my blessing. I cannot do for you if I cannot really do for myself. I have been patient. And, despite anything to the contrary, I have been faithful.

It is time for a home - a place to which I can retreat, as can my friends and ‘family;’ I want a place that I can tend to and alter as it requires.

It is time for a better vehicle. For all the driving my life requires, it is time for a vehicle that is comfortable and durable and better on gas. It is time for an upgrade. It is time for a vehicle from which I can really work.

It is time for a path - one that I can really follow, one that lifts my soul and makes me feel whole. It is time for me to be doing something.

It is time for my teeth to be fixed. I have tried twice in the past and I was thwarted both times. It is time to be able to smile a big, genuine smile. It is time to be able to comfortably talk with people. It is time to be able to eat and to enjoy it once more.

It is time for money. It is time to be able to take care of me and my daughters. It is time to have so that I may give better. It is time to do more.

It is time to live a better, more active, more abundant and charitable life.

It is time. Please and thank you.

Your humble and faithful servant,

Matthew C. Geist