Up and Down, Back and Forth, Round and Round

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true! 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is a Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

 Looch

BJ & The Bull

Ace

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Wilson

Zason

St. Diane & You (5)

Brother John & Sister Jen

The Bee Man

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Mayor & The Turkey Man

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, September 21, Two-Thousand and Twenty-Jive. Time...???

Theme – Expectation

 Expectation begets disappointment. Ultimately, expectation is attachment. We expect things to go a certain way, moments to happen a certain way, people to behave a certain way. When those things don't happen we find ourselves feeling disappointed, hurt, frustrated, angry. But why do we set expectations? In the case of events, projects, moments we already know there are so many possible factors that could shift things. all things out of our control. Still, we set expectations. With people it is even more complex. The example that comes to mind from my week is Sunshine. I saw her at the fair on Thursday. There was no smile, no hug. There was no indication that she was happy to see me. Now she hasn't been overly expressive for several years. The lack of smile could have just been things on her mind or decompressing between concert sets. The hug? Well maybe she just isn't that person. I just wrote not too long ago that I'm not really a touch person. So why should I set expectations on her? That's not fair to either of us.

Lesson – Forgive

 Forgiveness is a challenging thing. But it is also a powerful thing. I have been catching reels of this Guru online lately. He has been a great resource for getting myself in tune once more. Forgiveness was a topic one day and it struck a chord with me. I thought of The Princesses. Yes I have been allowing them to hurt me recently. But I've allowed it. They're not trying to hurt me [I don't believe.] They are simply doing what they think they need to do for their own good. So...forgive them. Allow them whatever space they need. Move on. And that is the key to true forgiveness. Once forgiven it can never be thought of again. This is where I am having difficulty in forgiving Mr. and Mrs. Landlord. They did what they thought was best for them. I still believe they were [unknowingly] carrying out G-d's plan. [The Judas Prerogative.] Still there is hurt and anger and I carry it with me. So I haven't really forgiven them yet. But what good is there in holding onto things? It solves nothing, heals nothing.

Observation – We Resist Healing

 We do. We may not realize that we do, but we do. So often we know what we need to do, fix, change. I've seen it in clients. Of course, I make no secret of how I resist my own healing. i know one person who was told after several Reiki sessions that she needed to spend some timne alone and focus on herself. I knew this wasn't what she wanted. Still, every session it would come up. It didn't take long before the Reiki sessions stopped, her attitude towards me changed, and she was frantically distracting hersself with her best friend, new boyfriend, and whatever else she could find. To this day she cannot spend that time alone. Meanwhile, her body continues to get worse. I think we resist because healing means facing ourselves. Healing hurts. [But that's how you know its working.]

The Post

I don't know, man. I just don't know.

I'm having a strange day. Did I have a strange week? I don't know. I have no thoughts at the moment. No recollections.

Today is the New Moon, so all of my confusion is easily explained. The way I am feeling in general today - physically, emotionally and spiritually included - is easily explained. It is also The Day Before Mabon. I'm pretty sure there is something else going on in the sky right now.

Soi, the awkwardness of me is completely understandable.

What can I recall from this week?

I've been distracted. I've been distracted by feeling sorry for myself, by what I can sense in others [their current thoughts and attitudes towards me and my life.] Distracted by anger and hurt and hopelessness.

I have brushed that away for the time being. There's no need to feel sorry for myself. My living conditions are less than ideal but better than other possibilities. I'm surviving it. Little things improve every day. I'm finally looking for other options. I still can't afford anything right this moment but the finances will get there again. So I'm trying to have a plan ready when that time comes.

As I have cleared the distractions I have found that I am reclaiming all of my systems and routines. I haven't been doing anything for weeks. I also noticed how different my days are now that I am doing ritual once again.

In fact, I'm not just doing my rituals and devotions again, but I am getting my stretches in as well. And I'm keeping up with my drugs. [The legal ones lol.] And this was some of the reason for setting this up in the first place.

I got my first 2 shifts in at The Seasonal Stores. They went well. Cricket. Cricket, Cricket, Cricket!! I have encountered Crickets at both stores now. Hmmmm?

Tuesday I took a day off for laundry and such. Wednesday was just an off day and of it I cannot tell you much.

Somewhere in there I started to have deep and serious thoughts about New Orleans. It's been pulling on me recently. Now, to be fair - I don't, at this point yet, know if it is a legitimate pull or if it is my escapism in action. Is there actually something there for me? Or, am I just trying to get away from my current shit show of a life? But, to what would I be escaping?

The truth of the matter is that for at least a time things would be worse for me. I'd have no home base. No safe place. I'd have to spend a good amount of money to eat and park. And where would I sleep? I can only drive to the Love's an hour out of the city and sleep there for so many nights in a row before it becomes suspect. I would lose benefits, such as my insurance, until I could find a home and establish a residence. And when would I go? I'm too close to having this dental thing worked out [and yet somehow still so far away from it.] I can't leave until it's done.

However, a curious thing along the way. While zenitating on the Crescent City I flashed on the image of a reader I had spoken to when I was last there. I didn't have him read me. We just chatted. IN fact, he was the one that cautioned me with tales of how the wandering spirits have taken possession of the drunkard bodies on Bourbon Street many times.

Anyway, sometime after that I was in The Cave and I looked to the floor beside the desk. There was a business card laying there. I picked it up and it was for this very reader. Now, I took that trip at a time when I had nothing to be with being here. I don't know what it could have been mixed in with to find its way there in these past few weeks. Nonetheless, there it was.

Curious.

Thursday I went to the fair to see Sunshine perform. I missed the choir [because they started 30 minutes early than the email I received had quoted. But I did get to see the band and orchestra. Overall, I felt pretty good. The fair seems to do that to me every year. No matter how I'm feeling at the time, I always seem to find a mellow vibe when I'm there. That fresh country air I guess.

From there I went to The Theatre for an extra show. At some point I lost that vibe. I got suddenly more depressed. I don't know why. I don't know what triggered it. I'm generally so content when I'm in The Theatre.

I've lost Friday. It is Once Upon Ago.

Saturday was the Day Before the New Moon [ which was the Day Before Mabon.]

I woke with the intention of going out to work before the show, That did not happen. In fact, I didn't drive before or after the show. Something interesting happened during the show. I was hit with this surge of energy. It was overwhelming and came on out of nowhere. I honestly didn't know for a moment if I was going to actually be able to get back on the stage.

While I was being blasted, I had a vision of me placing my hand on Piz's 3rd eye. This is actually something I have done before. So at intermission, I found Piz [who is in the show with me,] asked his permission and did my thing. Apparently, whatever I did, did something. He commented on and asked about it later. I knew he was having a rough day. I didn't know what was going on but I knew it was rough. I could see it on him.

He asked what I "ripped out of" his 3rd eye. Whatever it was, it shifted things Just Enough for a bit. I didn't have an answer. I was given nothing but the instructions on what to do. No visions, insight, or information beyond that.

Today, something on Artemis started acting up, making a noise. I have come ashore for the next few days. Minimal, or no, driving until I have more information.

Throughout the week, I have been dealing with the self.

The truth is - I don't like myself very much. It's a complicated thing. I just have...Idk. Trauma, I guess.

I don't really feel comfortable around other people. You wouldn't always know it. Even people I know well. I can still feel awkward and out of place around them. Some of it stems from childhood. Some lingers from how people were with me after The Death. Some is just the fact that I am so damn sensitive to energies.

Of course, I spend so much of the time worrying about how people must judge me - my teeth, my poverty, my seemingly constant lack of stability. But then, I'm constantly judging myself.

I do this in spite of the fact that I know more. I know what I've done, what I've tried, how I've pushed. I know what I've experienced. I know that every time I make some progress...BAM! Still, I judge myself. Question my path and my choices.

I've got my temper. Part of that is learned, part of it is trauma, part of it is just genetic, I think.

Okay, I had to step back a minute. I can't keep dwelling and wallowing in all of my shortcomings and issues. I have them. We all have them. I need to not worry so much about fixing or changing or amending. I need to accept and embrace. It's not about condoning but forgiving. From there I just do my best to keep things in check.

In the meantime, count the blessings. For instance, Thankfully I was able to make my current arrangements in advance. If I didn't have this right now I would be screwed. Not only could I not sit idly in one place for three days but I wouldn't have had the money to pay for the repairs. Precise & Perfectly Placed.

Also, I forgot how quiet and still it is around Geistopia. It's something I need to try to tap into - especially before winter hits.

Here's a random - Today I took a gig delivering a grocery order. It paid something like $12, but it wasn't a lot of stuff and it wasn't far. However,the store had an issue and I waited over an hour. I stuck with it. I was already in, might as well get the full pay. The woman ended up tipping me $40 in cash for waiting. So I made up anything I was afraid I was losing. But, also - unknown bonus - it minimized my driving, which lessened my current engine issue just a bit.

^deep sigh^

Notice, Fellow Travelers, I started to slip. I almost gave in to the illusion once more. It is an illusion. It's all an illusion. It's not about what you experience but how you experience it.

 Monday - 2 work shifts, cricket, getting back to routines

Tuesday - Day off, New Orleans, Reader

Wednesday - Off Day

Thursday - Fair; Show; feeling good then not; spider

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt. And there is the newer TikTok @WTML23

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC:  Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak

Cardinal - Renewed Vitality through Recognizing Self-Importance

They remind us that, regardless of the time of day or year, we always have the opportunity to renew our own vitality and recognize our own life roles. Whistles are often reminders to listen closely - to pay attention to what is blowing on the winds. Reflects that we should be listening to the inner voice (the feminine) more closely for our own health and well-being. Almost always reflects a need to assert the feminine aspects of creativity and intuition more strongly. Can reflect a need to b more careful about your diet, that what you are eating may be injurious to yourself and affecting your overall vitality. Reflects the rhythm of 12 that is going to become more predominant within your own life. Reflects lessons associated with responsibility and the recognition of the task at hand. May reflect past-life connections with the church, or even a reviving of more traditional religious beliefs, regardless of denomination. Remind us to add color to our lives, and remember that everything is of importance. 

Chipmunk – (from whatismyspiritanimal.com)

Chipmunks don’t really have a lot of enemies mostly because they’re clever enough to avoid troublesome situations; this creature is very adaptable and will live nearly anywhere that suits them, including under your patio. Being picky isn’t really in Chipmunk’s character makeup.

Similar to Squirrels, Chipmunk always prepares for seasonal shifts in food supplies by stashing some neatly away. They are diligent about preparing for the future and have more than one entrance and exit to their favorite hiding spots. Young Chipmunks depend on their mother for about six weeks. Even then, the energy level for Chipmunk is pretty perky. As Chipmunks eat nuts and acorns, they also have an important role to play in spreading seeds and spores.

Norse myths tell us that either a Chipmunk or Squirrel runs up and down the World Tree delivering messages to and from the Gods (Odin in particular). The symbolism here combines with the Chipmunk’s habit of chattering as if there is always something new about which to talk. Saga, a Goddess of history and bardic arts, also has a Chipmunk companion.

An Irish Goddess by the name of Medb is said to have this little guy as a sacred animal. Medb oversees matters of health, prosperity, sexuality, and fertility; this last attribute is one that fits Chipmunk very well. Females can have up to three litters a year with five pups in each.

Chipmunk is prolific as a way of offsetting a rather short lifespan of only about three years. As we observe Chipmunk Spirit in nature, it becomes evident that they are very curious. There is little that goes undetected by our forest friend. They also seem fairly determined to do things in their own manner and time. When courting or feeling threatened, they may let out a little chirp that sounds bird-like.

For the most part, Chipmunk is not aggressive. The only time they really seem to fight among themselves if there’s the perception that food lacks. As long as edibles are in ample supply, they get along with each other very well. Greed is a term that seems to have been left out of Chipmunk’s vocabulary.

Chipmunk Spirit Animal comes into our lives for various reasons. One might have to do with the way you communicate. Chipmunk is a chatterbox, but as a Divine emissary, his words are chosen carefully. It may be time to assess how much of your discussions with others are filled with “fluff” rather than meaningful meat.

Another lesson from Chipmunk Spirit Animal deals with the element of surprise and an awareness of our environment. If you watch, Chipmunks seem to be able to appear as if from thin air, then duck away again into another realm. He knows his pathways intimately and rarely gets lost. It may be that Chipmunk advises laying low and not showing your hand too soon. He also reminds you to have sound exit strategies.

If your life has become rather dull, Chipmunk Medicine will definitely pick things up. Chipmunk is always ready for an adventure and loves exploring. When he is part of your life, it’s most definitely time to come out of your shell and find new ventures or discoveries; this need not be a huge thing. Sometimes the simple wonders are the most exciting! Chipmunk’s excitement is very contagious. And if you haven’t been very social lately, prepare for a BIG change.

Chipmunk also represents energy and activity. You will never get anywhere in life by just standing still. It’s time to get up and engage life fully. Use this season as an opportunity for changing things up so that your personal spaces are light-hearted and comfortable in every way possible. Living joyfully is one of Chipmunk’s core virtues as is playing and having fun.

When it comes to your resources, Chipmunk sometimes appears as a sign that you need to better prepare for a period ahead when finances become tight. Set up a rainy-day fund. Make sure it’s safe and secure so you can use it come proverbial bad weather.

Finally, if you are starting on a particular magical study, Chipmunk may have been attracted to you because of that emerging energy. Chipmunk is a Spirit of wish fulfillment and will power; this Guide can help you move toward greater knowledge in your arts.

Cricket –[from Spirit-animal.com]

Like the Ladybug and the Dragonfly, Cricket symbolism is a sign of exceptional luck. Furthermore, this spirit animal says that the things that you have been working toward and dreaming about are now possible.  Therefore, Cricket meaning directs you to stay open to guidance and messages so that you will know what you have to do. You may be guided to buy a lottery ticket, interview for a new job, or be in the right place at the right time. In other words, Cricket symbolism is letting you know that all things are possible right now. All you have to do is feel that you deserve it! Similar to the Robin and the Whale, people with Cricket totem know how to sing their songs loud and clear! In other words, they love to use the power of their voice to attract what they want in life. These folks also have a gift for finding their way through awkward moments with panache and aplomb. People with this spirit animal are excellent communicators, love to walk their talk and are often vegetarian. In fact, like the Deer totem, they understand the power of music and will usually have a career that uses music as a form of healing.

Spider – Creativity and the Weaving of Fate

Maya, the weaver of illusion. Grandmother, link to the past and the future. Mysticism of the geometric form of the figure 8. Symbol of infinity. The Wheel of Life. Teaches you to maintain a balance – between past and future, physical and spiritual, male and female. Everything that you do now is weaving what you will encounter in the future. Rhythms. Creative sensibilities. The past always subtly influences the present and future. Spiral shape, the traditional form of creativity and development. We are the center of our own world. “Know thyself and you shall know the Universe.” Keepers and writers of our own destiny, weaving by our thoughts, feelings, and actions. The magic and energy of creation. Assertiveness of that creative force. , keeping the feminine energies of creation alive and strong. Links with the past and future. Are you moving toward a central goal or are you scattered and going in multiple directions? Is everything staying focused? Are you becoming too involved and/or self-absorbed? Are you focusing on others’ accomplishments and not your own? Are you developing resentment because of it – towards yourself or them? The teacher of language and the magic of writing. Death and rebirth. A lunar symbol. Maintain balance and polarity in all aspects of life. Through polarity and balance creativity is stimulated. A combination of gentleness and strength. Walk the threads between life and death – waking and sleeping – between the physical and the spiritual. How to express the creative energies. Don’t be afraid to employ it in seemingly inaccessible corners. Weave your creative threads in the dark and then, when the sun hits them, they will glisten with intricate beauty. Are you not weaving your dreams and imaginings into reality? Are you not using your creative opportunities? Are you feeling closed in or stuck as if in a web? Do you need to pay attention to your balance and where you are walking in life? Are others out of balance around you? Do you need to write? Are you inspired to write or draw and not following through? Remember that Spider is the keeper of the primordial alphabet. Teach how to use the written language with power and creativity so that your words weave a web around those who would read them.