Yesterday...

Tuesday July 16, 2019; 1449

Full Moon (Eclipse); Sun in Cancer

I don’t know. I just don’t know. Isn’t that exactly how I started the previous entry. I really don’t know though.

I don’t know what is happening, or what I am supposed to be focusing on. It is one thing to be drifting [dopin’] along, it’s Another thing to actually try to manage a life at the same time.

On other Quests all I had to do was just Follow the Lead. That’s easy when you really have no place to go and nothing to do. You really can go anywhere and do anything. But, when you’re trying to keep schedules and accomplish tasks it gets a bit more difficult.

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And, thay is how I never get any writing done. I started when there was a moment and then the moment shifted. From there, I was kind of off and running for the rest of the day.

So, I struggle.

i have so many thoughts and perceptions concerning the Current state of affairs in Geistopia.

Everything is Divine.

It is a certain degree of Ego that brings me here. I can’t deny that. I walked away. I chose to walk away. Perhaps it was rash and in the moment, but it is what happened. And, Everything is Divine.

At first, the message was to not be just as hasty in returning. I was to ride it out for a bit. However, the longer I rode it out, the further away the possibility of reconciliation and/or return became. Actions and words on both sides, I suppose, but, in that time, I definitely learned more about who Craze & Co. really are.

So, it became clear that returning was not an option.

Now what?

My current income does not support a home. It barely supports homelessness. so, find something else, something more, right?

So it would seem...But, Nothing is as It Seems.

At the beginning of all of this I had a very full plate. I was rehearsing/performing a show, I was putting together The Middle School show and The Gala performance that went with it, and I was working at The Theatre. Plus, I would learn a second show for two performances.

I had had to wait for all of that to settle down before I could do anything. By the time that was coming under control, each piece breaking away in it’s time, I was waiting on The Theatre. Over the past several

months there has been all sorts of talk, but nothing definitive.

I’ e asked for the conversation several times over, including recently, just so that I could know what I was working with. It has been my goal and intention to stay there and be/do what I promised, see my commitment through. Still, I need that defined - role/responsibilities, required/expected hours, income. I need to know what I’m working with so I know what I need to do.

But, tensions developed somewhere along the way. I don’t know when, or how, or why. I don’t know what I did or didn’t do. No one wants to have that or any other legitimate conversation.