A Fate of Twists

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true! 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is a Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Big 'D'

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, Sir Richard Slouch, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

 Looch

BJ & The Bull

Ace

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Wilson

Zason

Mysteria

Lydia the Tattooed Lady

The Drunken Maid

St. Diane & You (4)

Brother John

The Bee Man

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

PDT

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, April 19, Two-Thousand and Twenty-Fix. Time...???

Theme – Staging

 I made this Observation during one of the videos this week. I stage my life. I always have. If I have something to do tomorrow, I will start shifting things bit by bit to make sure I am prepared. The busier the day is going to be the more I stage in advance. If I'm taking a trip I will stage my packing over like 10 days prior. I noticed that I am even starting to stage my finances - pulling bits here and there to set myself up for things.

Lesson – Defy Definition

 It seems as though the whole of our lives requires definition. We define ourselves in so many ways - beliefs, actions, hobbies, interests, pursuits. Society defines us by our home, our job or income, our religion, our sexuality, our political views, sometimes even our family or friends. We don't seem to be happy without definitions. We can't seem to live without them. Definitions require labels. I Am this or I AM that. I AM Republican, Democrat, Christian, Atheist. I AM a worrier, a protagonist, a creative, a free spirit. I AM against this or I AM for that. And, we so need definitions that we even define the labels. This is what it means to be Christian, or Democrat. If I support this then I can't agree with that. We chisel out what it means to "be" everything we are. Unfortunately, that results in tossing aside everything else. I personally find that life is not really so cut and dry, black and white. Imagine if "being" something means you do "this" and one day you happen to catch yourself doing "that." Now what? I've always said that labels are limitations. They keep us from knowing ourselves and our universe wholly. Definitions require labels. Defy Definitions.

Observation – Be Careful What You Wish For

 I've said this so many times for so many years, but never did I feel its heaviness until this week. I don't know what exactly got me to click on it. I was thinking about the situation with the Princesses. Before we took the trip, I said repeatedly - both in this blog and on video - that my number one Goal [my wish] was for them to start healing. I could see them hurting. I could see it on them - smell it on them. I worried about them more than they know. I just wanted them to be better. After the initial fight in Boston, they unleashed on me. They brought up so much stuff that I didn't know was an issue. The way they spit it all out, it was like someone pulled the plug and everything was just coming to the surface. It hurt. I didn't like it. I was left with so much confusion and a lot of questions...But I still kind of celebrated it because it was just one more step towards healing. This week I was just looking at where we have come to and this all hit me. Healing was what I wanted more than anything for those girls. It's all I've ever wanted for them. Never, though, did I ever think that I was the problem, that I was causing them so much hurt, that they would want me out of their lives. But, if that is what is best for their healing than I have no room to complain about it. It is what I wished for.

The Post

Life's a rum go.

[And that's the truth.]

I love living. I do. Don't ever let anything I say allow you to think otherwise. I think the experience of Be-ing is just so divine - even when it's crappy. I love seeing the days come and go. I love my brief interactions with random people. I love the sunshine and the rain and the feelings each of them inspire. I love the cold and the heat. I love silence as much as the sounds of nature as much as the sounds of the city. I look back on every moment of my living with revelry.

Life, on the other hand, is all sorts of fucked up. I don't always enjoy it so much. It can be harsh. I seem to fumble my way through it. [Just a guy dopin' along.] I've said for a long time - in regards to myself - I've never known a guy to try so hard and still fuck up so often. The road to something is definitely paved with good intentions. I can tell you that.

It's no secret that I have disliked life so much that I wanted to end it. More than once. [And for a long time.] In fact, in between trying to determine the cleanest and least painful way to die, I would very often pray or wish for my death. [I'm pretty sure there were even times I begged.] "Just put me out of my misery."

Today, I find myself In-Between.

I still love living. I enjoy as many moments as I can. I try to make the most of everything. Live from love and harmony. Rain is gloomy but so refreshing. A sunny day can beat you down with heat but my lord does that same sun make you want to take on the world and conquer it. Challenges are just puzzles waiting to be solved. So there is no strife. If something goes wrong it is always so something else can go right.

I love living.

I love how it all comes together, plays out; how the story just writes itself.

But, some days it is just frustrating as all Hell.

I don't hate my life. It is, in so many ways, very obviously not even close to ideal. But...it is acceptable. It works. I am not suffering. I'm not necessarily thriving...but I'm not suffering.

I'm active and busy every day. I'm always working at or towards something. [Truly, a lot of somethings all at once.] Even my down time is managed in as part of the scheme of it all - getting where I'm going. Still, very often I feel so limited in what I can do, what I could change if I wanted to. There are plenty of days it seems as though I am just kind of stuck in place. [Even with minor, yet noticeable advancements here and there.]

So, I live each day of my life as best and to the fullest.

As long as I'm alive I'm going to live.

Truth be told though. I don't "need" to be. I'd be just as perfectly content to not wake up in the morning. I'm not really attached either way. It's not depression as it was before. It's more of a boredom. I'm tired. I'm over it. Basically...

"This has been fun and all but I don't see the point anymore."

I don't let this thought control me. I don't live in it. I just accept it for what it is and move on. I can't let it hold me down because as long as I'm alive I'm going to live.

I really feel like I am in this huge Void. [The Year of No-Thing.] I'm not hopeless in it. I just feel lost. I'm not accustomed to being quite this lax. I mean, I've always had a more free flow form to me but this is like the extreme. Any given moment can shift...and so far most have.

All I can do is throw my hands in the air, give out a deep sigh, and keep on rollin', rollin', rollin'...keep that Matty rollin'.

The work cycle has been very good for me. But the income has not quite been meeting my expectations. Yet, somehow, I am not only still in the game, but my game gets just a lil stronger [in some way] every day.

There is a certain calm flow about my life. It just does it's thing [very naturally] and in its own way it is all working out just fine.

It's just slow and grueling.

But, I feel like that may change soon. Beltane is just around the corner and that heralds in the Summer Spirits. [They're a whole different fuckin' level.] I foresee May 1 through Aug 1 [possibly Sept 21-ish] will be a special kind of Void all its own.

Now to May 1 is going to be interesting. [New Moon to Full Moon.] The week ahead has a Safety Patrol 420-bration scheduled for tomorrow. Tuesday I must manage my errands and household duties. Wednesday was scheduled to be a full day of something. It has recently changed to fully open. I may take some of that day to work and make up some of my shortage from this week. I am contemplating shifting back to 5 shorter days. I don't know yet. This week should help me gauge how I feel about it.

Next week is pretty much 'business as usual.' Just sort of coasting towards Beltane. I have an oil change scheduled and they're gonna look at the A/C. Then Tuesday To-Do's Day. Then, of course, a whole Wednesday. Thursday is the work cycle for sure as well as The Day Before. [Beltane/Full Moon.]

Strap in. Buckle up. Hold on tight. Me thinks there is adventure around every corner, Fellow Travelers.

 If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt. And there is the newer TikTok @WTML23

I appreciate you all.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC:  Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak Pocket Guide

Bee – Fertility

This is as a time of fertility and strong sexuality. Extract honey while the sun chines. Be creative in as many ways as possible.

Ladybug – Wish Fulfilled

Wish will be fulfilled soon. Do not push too hard or it will be delayed. Allow efforts to unfold and manifest in the time best for us.

Cardinal - Renewed Importance

Accept your life’s importance. Accept yourself as a source of light and do not be afraid to conduct yourself accordingly.

Snake – Rebirth

Shed the old; new birth is coming. Face fears and do not resist changes. Ressurect some part of your life.

Squirrel – Work & Play

Balance your work and play. Prepare for the future, but do not get lost in preparations. Find ways to gather and gift.

Rabbit - Wait

Look for fertile signs and use the lunar cycle. If unsure, wait. Answers will become clear within a month. Then movement is assured.