At Its Own Pace

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true! 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is a Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

 Looch

BJ & The Bull

Ace

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Wilson

Zason

St. Diane & You (5)

Brother John & Sister Jen

The Bee Man

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Mayor & The Turkey Man

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, December 15, Two-Thousand and Twenty-More. Time...???

Theme – Moment by Moment

Lesson – Patient Determination

Observation – Time Flies When it's All You Got

The Post

Overall, it was a good week. Things slowly started to come together across the board. Food is stocked. Finances are slowly falling into place. Christmas-ing is slowly taking place. I'm finding a routine.

I still get frustrated with my limitations - like typing, for instance. But I also realize that I am still very much at the beginning of this journey. It just takes me so much effort, so much time, to do the simplest task. And I tire so easily.

I'm still trying to figure out how to capture the journey properly. I think it's important.

I'm still struggling with my Christmas vibe. Makes me sad.

I had a few body things on Wednesday that I wanted to look at, so here they are.

Blood Pressure (High) - Longstanding emotional problem not solved. (I joyously release the past. I am at peace.)

Diabetes - Longing for what might have been. A great need to control. Deep Sorrow. No sweetness left. (This moment is filled with joy. I now choose to experience the sweetness of today.)

Left Side of Body - Represents receptivity, taking in, feminine energy, women, the mother. (My feminine energy is beautifully balanced.)

  Monday, December 9; 0553

Purging my thoughts for the morning [beginning of a new week.]

• Trying to start fresh. Make conscious choices. Slower more focused movements and actions

• Worried about the home situation. I need to not worry until I talk to Brother John. Right now he determines the course.

• worried about Cuddlebug - what if I fail? also - can she really help[ as needed [without issue]? Is she healing/growing? How do I help?

• Up early to piddle around before diving into a serious day

• Is it too late?

• November 2022 - Karma?

• feel very lost and out of place. Cant control anything but me at the moment [Lesson?]

• Habits are pleasure/gratification oriented - smoking, coffee, chat

• Feels awkward not being in a hurry to do things.

• Feeling guilty for having the casual approach

• Never really spent this kind of time alone with myself. Always pushing, running, distracting, numbing

1215

I have been on the move this morning. I have just been jumping from one thing to the next. This is the closest thing to stopping that I have done in the last 6 hours.

I started my day by making a list. I have been sticking to it as best I can. Of course it has been shifting and changing along the way but that is to be expected. Pieces of the puzzle have been added or moved - shifted to another time. I've been taking care of mail and finances and insurance. All the while trying to continue to clean up and organize my life. W even cleared the space for the Christmas Tree [which added some cleaning to my day.]

I'm stopping now to eat and rest a bit. Purge my thoughts and emotions along the way. I figure Devotion time is a good time to stop and touch base with everything.

Purging:

• I feel guilt very easily. I know it's not my fault nor my choice. but I feel guilty for being at home and filling my time with all of the things I have been ignoring while I was working.

• My habits are not only pleasure oriented - but also guilt fulfilling. Like I feel guilty when I smoke because I know I can and should quit but I always choose weakness.

• despite the guilt, Once Upon Ago this was how I lived. I would take days like today when I didn't have work. A day to touch base with my life and work through things that I can.

1934:

I am feeling much better than I was earlier today. I have been on the go since I got up this morning. A constant and steady flow of doing...something. Sometimes it felt as though I was just shuffling around the same piles. [and sometimes I was.] To look around the house it seems like I got nothing done, but I accomplished so much. I still have so much to do and the Holidays aren't helping. They are just adding layers of tasks.

Niffer [of Piz-Niffer fame] came by today. [well Piz came along as well.] She helped me apply for a list of assistance programs. She pointed the way to a few as well. She also helped get a GoFund me started. [I'll probably include the link somewhere.]

I feel like I have some footing. The GoFund Me is already generating so I actually have something with which I can work. It has covered all the extra I was concerned about between now and Imbolc. So, I am already on my way to having funds with which to negotiate rent. At this point, I feel like I can actually navigate through till Imbolc. That's what I needed.

Tonight I shall sleep the sleep of the just.

Tuesday, December 10, 2024; 0725

I am running a little behind today and a little off. That's OK. I had a very strong day yesterday and today is fairly coastable. We have a few errands we want to run this morning but fewer than we had originally planned. Other than that, I have to be ready around 1730. There is n event at The Meeting Place tonight and I believe I have a ride. Other than that I just need to mill about and work my way through things.

Wednesday, December 11; 0605

It's another day.

Yesterday was good. A little off but good.

We got our running done in the morning. Easy-peasy. I had 2 Amazon orders to return. But I had to do them at 2 different locations, Then we made another stop and Cuddlebug got gas. We did it through my upside app. Every little bit helps.

I scheduled an intake to join a quit smoking program. It's an 8 week program which I can do by phone. Whether I really want to or not, quitting is something I have to do. Cuddlebug thinks it should just be "that easy." Maybe it should be. But it hasn't been. I've had good days and bad. This morning, for instance, has been bad. Yesterday was good. I had a total of 6-8 [which is a drastic reduction.]

I have to leave for my first outpatient rehab shortly. So, here are the things I want to discuss yet today. [The notes are for me not you lol.]

The rest of yesterday - Meeting Place, Finances (assistance), etc.

Falling into routines. Needing to break them.

Current future outlook - Christmas/Yule, January, Beyond.

The numbers of it all.

[Left side, BP, Diabetes]

Thursday, December 12; 0521

Okay, I'm going to see how much I can get captured in one sitting [without distraction.] It can get a little frustrating because I can only type with my right hand.

Yesterday was a long rough day> I was up all day without a rest. I plugged away at paperwork and continuing to make sure things are in place. Cuddlebug and I had an actual fight over the smoking. When I finally went tyo bed my whole body was just fatigued and done.

I slept good though. I got most things straightened out. I just need to follow-up on a few more. I had my PT assessment yesterday and got all of those scheduled through the end of January.

The End of January seems to be my next real marker. Of course. Imbolc. All things right now are pointing to then. My therapy appointments. My bills are covered through the end of January. Still working out the rent. [For the purposes of this Journey Bills & Rent are 2 different struggles.]

Over the past 2 Days, I have completed most of the applications for assistance, including sending in the rest of the disability application. I have a few things to follow-up and 2 to pursue.

I have made satisfactory arrangements with Brother John for rent and electric.

[I need to pause here and look at doing other things. I can't stay at the desk too long.]

 Friday, December 13; 0535

Sooner or later I will find my proper groove through all of this. I definitely need to tweak my morning routine. I'm usually up fairly early but I always come right to the desk even though there's not much I can work on at that time. Sitting at the desk like that makes me want to have coffee and cigarettes. I need to quit smoking entirely and I'm trying to curb my coffee drinking. First I want to get Decaf in the house so I can drink more of that. But as a whole I would like to curb my coffee habit a bit.

I think one of my tasks for today is going to be creating a daily routine to follow for a while. Use it to create different habits and patterns. I've fallen into a rut these past few days.

I think my inability to type with two hands at the moment hinders my ability to focus on writing because it takes so long to type out a thought. so I may have to start working in bullet points instead of stories.

For instance, I mentioned The Meeting Place. Though it was nice to get there, the important thing to know here is that I was able to pay my dues. This has been an issue since first joining. Last year I was able to manage them with a little creativity. So, it was very important to me that I paid them this year - even with the increase. When the stroke hit I wasn't sure I'd be able to do it.

I did.

Finances are balancing out for the moment. With a lot of help from Cuddlebug. She has taken on quite a bit extra in my downtime. She is taking on the electric portion of the rent. She's been buying the pellets for the stove. She's been bearing the weight in regards to groceries.

GoFundMe money has been coming in at a fair enough and has been the boost we need.

Right This Moment, with the help Cuddlebug is giving - but not including Groceries and heat - we have January covered except for the electric and I have 3 weeks of rent payments available. [I need a total of 8 weeks to cover the year and 12 to cover through the end of January.]

My first marker is getting to Christmas Eve - Dinner, Hot chocolate, Decorations, presents. Then it is getting through Yule altogether. From there, as would be expected, it is Imbolc. Like I said, Financially we are mostly covered - excepting rent. That is the hurdle. Beyond finances my only focus needs to be therapy and healing.

I was looking at the numbers of the process previously. I got to Monday which was Day 5 - the number of coming into being, the center of the self. That was an appropriate number for that day and its accomplishments.

Tuesday then was Day 6. I think as long as I live, I will never understand 6.

Wednesday was Day 7. A healing day. The 7 Chakras. Again, I concur. I had my first PT appointment and I found myself fairly balanced in my tasks.

Yesterday was 8 - abundance, infinity, The Divine. This is when my finances came into balance for the moment.

Today is 9 - a Complete cycle, wholeness, I feel that. My tasks are caught up. My finances are balanced. I am feeling ready to create/build my life. I am ready for a new cycle.

Tomorrow is Day 10 - The Void between cycles.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC:  Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak