Ep. 18 - Happenstance

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

Welcome To My Life is a project, an experiment in Life and ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise is that life is experiential, and that you can, and do, experience the life you choose. It is based on The Wheel of Life and The ARTs for The New Millennium as life building tools.

Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and sometimes unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co.

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

Professor Siggy Chong

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop (may they R.I.P.)

PDT

‘Blue 326’

The Original KLT

The Looch

The Baker

Bert-on

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Hoagie

The Anomaly

The Wix-ians

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Mama Rabbit

And, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Friday, July 13, 2018. Time...Just Barely.

Theme of the Week – The ‘Future’

Lesson of the Week – It’s Never As Bad As It Looks

Observation of the Week – Everything Has Value

Totems – **Goldfinch**; Sparrow; Dragonfly; Fox

So, it is the day after, but not exactly. It is just shortly after I returned home from the show. I wanted to try to capture it while it was still fresh in my mind…and my spirit.

It was good. It was a really good show. Overall it was an interesting experience for me. I have a particular fondness for this show. So, I was trying not to be too critical of it. [We can do that as theatre folks.] I did, however, still go in wanting to see a quality production. [I’m not saying it wasn’t.] I definitely have a critique of the show, both good and bad. In the bigger picture it was a good production and the cast, crew and staff should feel very pleased. For me it was more about certain choices. I really was watching the show through my director/producer eyes – more than I ever have before. Anyway, every so often someone would make a completely amateur choice and it would ruin the momentum they had built with me…

[Looks around at the faces of the audience.] What?

Ohhhhhhh. You wanna hear about her – The Anomaly.

WALT: Ummmm…YEAH!

But, of course.

Ok. So, let’s start with – I got stuck in traffic on my way there. I was a little too stubborn to actually listen to my GPS. I thought I knew better. But then, what else is new? So, this had her texting me. Yes, she has my number now and I have hers. This was part of the process that I had not really given thought to until it was happening. Now I am wrestling with the notion of taking her number out of my phone before I do something stupid. Let’s face it, it’s me. I will inevitably do something stupid.

OK. So now I am arriving at the door ten minutes before the show starts. This was not the plan. I was shooting to be there twenty minutes earlier than that. [And, I would have made it too if I wasn’t so damned stubborn.] I was supposed to be there to greet her at the door. Ok, so a little role reversal. [And, we haven’t even gotten to the bedroom yet.]

I’m sorry. That was totally inappropriate. I was just playin’.

Anyway, so I get there, get parked and start making my way towards the theatre. There she was. She would have been easy to spot even if she hadn’t been standing, isolated in the middle of everything. Of course one of the first things I did was to scan from top to bottom. Honestly, it wasn’t so much about checking her out. [To be real, I have already done plenty of that.] Instead, I was searching for a clue. I was hoping that maybe I could get some idea of what was happening based on how she presented herself.

Remember, I have absolutely no idea what is going on. This is, honestly, the first time in a very long time that I don’t have even the slightest clue as to what Spirit is playing at.

She’s dressed nice – Sleeveless white top, black pants. It’s casual and comfortable. Nothing ‘come hither,’ but nothing to ignore either. [Though, to be fair, I did not mention it.] So, we smiled and engaged in the obligatory hellos. I apologized for running late and we began to make our way to the theatre.

As we walked, I glanced out the corner of my eye. Yup. She was wearing make-up. I had never seen her in make-up before. Again, there was nothing over done. It was almost unnoticeable in the light of the parking lot. It was soft and subtle. Much like her.

Well, now it’s show time. Bear in mind, the first act of this show is an hour and a half long. The only interesting thing that happened in that hour and a half was that - once the lights faded, the music started up and the action began - I slipped her a pack of fruit snacks. Extremely exciting, I know. But, wait…there’s a story.

A few weeks ago she clued me in that she has an addiction to fruit snacks. She is a fruit snack fiend. The next day I decided to show her that I do listen and pay attention, so I brought her some fruit snacks that the Princesses had insisted I buy…and they never ate.

So, earlier in the day, I had bumped into her in the hallway and of course she had a pack of fruit snacks in her hand. “Oops. You caught me.”

This reminded me that it was brought to my attention [Yes, The Voice] that I might want to smuggle in some fruit snacks for the show. Stop to buy fruit snacks on the way –

check!

Like, I said, there wasn’t much excitement in the first act. Not outward, anyway. I did go into ‘Director Mode.’ I even leaned forward, knees to elbows, hands clasped and pressing to my lips as I studied every inch of that stage. The truth of the matter is that I was using the show as a distraction. If I hadn’t put all of my focus on that stage, I would have never taken it off of her. As it was I found myself repeatedly drawn back to her.

Every so often I would shift in my seat, turning and leaning just slightly towards her. I wanted to be close, but not too close. Here I was, silently trying to let her know that I am so very comfortable with her, and at the same time, keep her assured that I want absolutely nothing from her. This is, without a doubt, the most delicate ‘Game’ that I have ever played. It’s like I am using every skill in every arena that I have ever learned. And, still, I have no F’n clue.

Intermission comes, I ask her if she’d like anything from concessions. She did not. So, I went on my way. I did my thing – checked out the theatre, had my snack, and then made my way back to her. I had just enough time before the second act began to tease her about her phone. She is always in her phone. I told her once that she is worse than my 13 yo child. So, I sat down and asked her just what was so interesting in that phone that her nose was always in it. Her response?

“Everything.”

I actually liked that answer. The lights flicker and the orchestra strikes up. Off into Act II we go. It was just another fifty minutes of the same – me studying the stage while silently trying to figure out how to get through this night.

It wasn’t a date.

It wasn’t a date. It was an accident, a mishap. It wasn’t a date, and yet, here I was sitting next to the most stunningly beautiful woman I have ever met – inside and out. It’s like a dream. It’s so surreal. It’s not a date, but god did I wish it was.

The show ends. We walk to the parking lot. I’m certain to walk her to her car. Yes, I walked her to her car. And, yes, I made sure to open doors. [Except, perhaps, the ones I should have.] We said good night.

That’s it.

The End.

Life goes on…

I had my own little adventure on the way home. I’m not going to talk about it now, but any of my close friends are welcome to ask me about it. When I got home, I retreated to The Cave to kind of get my bearings.

It’s important to note, that I was visited by the Daemon, he who will not be named, that night. That was a battle I lost. As I do most battles with him. Every battle with him – even the ones I thought I had won. See, that’s part of his magick. He has such a grip on the Realms of Reality that even when you win you lose. Once you are snared in his web there is but one way out and he will do everything in his power to keep you from finding it. It’s his job. Once you meet him, once you have called out, you can trust nothing.

He may be the most devious of them, but he is also the most rewarding. He only comes when ascension is on the horizon. He is the ‘make it or break it.’ [One day I’ll make it.] So, on the bright side, I could be moving forward in life. However, it is quite possible that I will die or go insane trying.

Eh. All in a day’s work.

Moving on…

So Friday comes. I’m milling about and doing my thing. My thing at this particular moment was continuing to work on a project that the Princesses and I had started on Wednesday night’s ‘Dinner Night.’

The Fire Pit area of The Garden needs a table. We knew this last year and I had managed to salvage one from a job site I was on. It lasted less than a season, as predicted, but it served its purpose. The top was ruined but the legs are metal and are still in good shape. So, I made a new top.

I had this old workshop door. It’s actually the original door to The Cave. It is very solid and heavy. I have been saving it to strip the metal off it. Yes, there is more than you realize. But, now, I could make use of the wood. This is what I cut the new table top out of and I decided to make it more oblong, oval, like an egg.

This will definitely last longer than the last table, but it by no means is a long term solution. The table top needed something to help it be more durable and weather-resistant. On Wednesday night the Princesses and I began to mosaic it. I think their favorite part of the process was throwing the tiles to break them.

So, I was working towards completing the project when Big ‘D’ comes out of the house to tell me to move some things because they will be coming to mow the grass. Which they did. Not that you’d know it to look at it. But, that doesn’t matter. Phase 1 of ‘Give the Rents a Clue’ was now complete.

The problem here is that my family only understands value if actual money is involved. This is why I needed them to pay someone to mow the lawn. Now they have paid and now they can attach a value to the work. They also see all the work I do around here as obligatory, which for the most part it is. However, that doesn’t make it any less valuable. [Or, time consuming for me.]

So, the next phase is to, literally, write it all out for them. They’re not going to like it. They will scoff at it and ridicule it. They will tell me I am unrealistic, delusional, and crazy. It doesn’t matter what they call me or even what I am. Because, what I am not is wrong. Even if money never changes hands, everything has value…and everyone. It is just about time that I get recognized for my value, whether they want to swallow it or not.

For the most part, that is all the news that is the news in and around Geistopia. There are little things, for instance, on Saturday I managed to get a lot of work done in the garden. My whole goal this year is to get it where it needs to be. This includes, the pond/waterfall, the bridge, the ‘floors’ and whatever else comes with it.

On Saturday I began laying the groundwork - cutting out, shaping and shifting things until I had a better view of what I need to do. This all started because I need to build the waterfall and dig the pond all at the same time. I can’t do this until I know how shit fits together. Apparently, I am also expanding the gardens.

I did receive some Feedback this week.

I have this one friend who is an avid reader of the blog. He reads every post. He lets me know, in some way or another, that he has checked in. This past week when I posted four days in a row, he read every post and did so within about an hour of them being available. So, I sent him a text thanking him for being so supportive.

His response was, “You’re welcome! You have such fascinating stories and I draw inspiration from you. It seems no matter how much crap the Universe throws at you, you find a way to stay positive. I admire that.”

I’m glad. I am so very glad and I hope that more people feel that way. The timing of it is interesting. Whenever dysfunction happens in Geistopia the blog inevitably comes up. My family things I’m crazy and that it is a complete waste of my time. Of course, they’ve never actually read it. I suppose though that this is why I feel inclined to write. So that someone, even if it is just one person, feels inspired, positive, lifted up. This thought got me to look at the bigger picture. My life is crap. It is. I am at the bottom of the food chain. Perhaps this is why. Without it I’d have absolutely nothing about which to write. [Really?? THAT’s proper English???]

I also had another friend/associate message me with a question. She wanted to know what my plans are for the future. Where will I live when my parents are no more. Will it be in Geistopia? Or someplace else? Now, Queen Putter brought this up recently as well and combined with the threats that always loom in Geistopia, I suppose it could be a Theme, because if it happened right this moment…I would be homeless.

My response to her was quite simple, “I don’t generally look to the future, let alone make plans for it. What I know is that when they cross I will have a home, whether it is in Geistopia or someplace else. (Even if that someplace else is in the street.)”

For anyone concerned about me finishing my days on this Earth living on the street – don’t be. I’m not. First and foremost, somebody has to do it. Someone has to fill that role, because, in the Grand Scheme of things, if there were no Poverty there could be no Charity. Somebody has to be one so that everybody else can know the other. Why can’t it be me? Am I too good for that? Am I above it in some way?

Also, bear in mind, that on every one of my quests, I lived among the homeless. That is how I survived and I learned a lot about living on the street. I’m not saying I could survive long on the street, but I could survive long enough.

And, who knows? Perhaps it is on the street, in some random exchange with a person I had not met before and will never see again, that I fulfill my purpose and can be free of this life. Who can be certain? None of us were present at The Creation.

As for the future, well, I don’t look to it anymore. I don’t plan for it anymore. I find it to be irrelevant. The future doesn’t exist. It’s not real. It is only real when it happens and at that point it becomes the present. It is not carved in stone. It takes shape and form along the way. It evolves before it is ever born.

I used to make plans. I was a pro at making plans. But then I realized that plans change. This year in particular being a good case in point. I set out with a plan. Several of them actually. Along the way, and by no doing of my own, those plans were dismantled and I am left with nothing to do but make more plans. (Six Minutes Is An Awfully Long Time..And, Anything Can Happen In Six Minutes.)

Or…I can just show up and see how it all turns out.

That is my preferred approach and I am OK in it. Why? Because my Bible tells me so. “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow shall take care of itself.” The Father knows what you need before you need it. It’s why we were given the Lord’s Prayer. Because there is actually nothing to pray about. There are no details, nor specifics, which we could give G-d that he doesn’t already have. It is but wasted breath to do so. All we can really do is give thanks for that which has already been done and proclaim our faith that it will continue.

Before I conclude, let’s come back around to The Anomaly. For, though the non-date date may have seen its conclusion, our association with each other has not. Nor will it for some unforeseeable amount of time moving forward.

First, I want to bring attention to something. All this while, the discussion has been, “Why is she here?” What is it that she is going to bring into, offer, my life. This week I had a revelation. Who says that her being in my life has anything to do with me at all. Perhaps she is in my life…for her. Maybe it is I that will bring something to her instead of the other way around.

As I said earlier, life goes on…and so ours did.

The night ended and we returned to life as usual. It is as it was and how it will continue to be – for at least the next 11 days. That is when we will have our next outing. It will be another show...and it will be a group setting. Only this time, neither of us is involved in the making of the plans and both of us are just along for the ride. In the meantime, as I said, it will be much the same as it has been.

We will see each other when we see each other. We will continue to have brief, passing, almost insignificant moments. After which, I will always have to disappear somewhere to catch my breath, because it truly does take every fiber of my being to not melt in her presence.

Ever since our ‘not a date’ date, my thoughts and my emotions have been all over the place. At first, I spent time wishing for more. I wanted so badly to hurdle the obstacles and just make her mine. [Or, more precisely – me hers.] After the high of it all wore off, I came to the realization that that one moment may be all I ever have or know. But that one moment was so sublime. I had resolved to back away. I was going to let go and just revel in the gift I had been given. I would do what I do best and drift back into the shadows, waiting for the moment I would be needed, or even be relevant. Yet, the more I pulled away, the more I found myself standing right there. It wasn’t ever really anything significant. Just moments. Passing little moments.

There is, however, one exchange that stands out. One very interesting passage of time.

We found ourselves standing next to each other, piddling at whatever mundane tasks were at hand. I smiled and said, “You’re very early tonight.”

She almost scoffed, chuckled a little. “If you say so.”

“Well…compared to other nights.”

“I’ll give you that. *a pause as we moved* But all I did was pull my hair back.”

I honestly was not sure how to move forward from there. Did she just hear me say, “You’re very pretty tonight?” I mean…she was. She is every night. She looks beautiful every night.

*Sigh*

I simply corrected the misunderstanding and went back to whence I came.

So, anyway, without hesitation…

For now and for always, from here in Geistopia this is your beloved Rev wishing you Peace, Love, Light and Freakishness, baby!

Please feel free to leave comments, questions, and concerns. I don’t know you are there if you don’t say, “Hi.” Also, you’re experience of WTML is just as important as mine. So, let me know what you think. Secondly, if you would like to connect, or find out more about me, you can find WTML on Facebook @TheNewWTML or myself at @rev.mgeist.