Going Through the Change of Life

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true! 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is a Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

 Looch

BJ & The Bull

Ace

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Wilson

Zason

St. Diane & You (5)

Brother John & Sister Jen

The Bee Man

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Mayor & The Turkey Man

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, February 16, Two-Thousand and Twenty-Jive. Time...???

Theme – It's All About the Placement

This started as a sort of furniture/Feng-shui kind of thing. There was a disagreement abouth the placement of a dresser in the new "bedroom." I just had a preference. Something that felt right. "It's all about the placement," said "The Roommate." Always. Everything in this house is where it is because it is all about the placement.

But I realized in my week that the statement applies to perception as well. What You Get is What You See. It's all about where and how you place your perception on things. My PT helped me with that thought. He doesn't know that. I was just asking him some questions and in his answers, he compared tis job to a previous one. In that job the patients were not as motivated towards recovery. whereas in this job recovery is excitinbg for every patient. So that not only speaks to the patient perception but, as he explained, that makes it easier for him to be up and energetic and positive. He perceives "better" and reflects "better."

Lesson – Every Step is a Step in the Right Direction

 This was mostly a therapy thing, but as always it spills over into trhe rest of my life. With therapy, the more I do [or try to do] the better my chances of a fuller recovery. So standing in the shower this week, or reaching to the cabinets for dishes - though they seem simplistic - are steps towards recovery. It doesn't matter what I'm doing as long as I'm doing something. Exercises are good and have a purpose. That's one step I can take. But functionality is a different kind of step.

I saw this carry over into The Homestead - with the way bar room space shifted after the cleaning, The Workshop - as things slowly drift into place after sorting the metal and maing space, with my notetaking as I utilize my 4 tablets. Everything you do, moves you in some direction. It is only when you stop moving that things stall.

Observation – Mindlessly Minding

This is pretty much how I walk through life. I just kind of wake up and go. I drift through my day. Just a guy dopin' along. This has its positives and its negatives.

Things do get done. It's not that I dope along and do nothing. Things get done. Surprisingly sometimes. There have been many occassions when Just Dopin' Along as had me stumbling my way to some accomplishment I hadn't even considered at the time. So things get done. But it can be very chaotic at times. It can also seem to stall out at times because when I get things done I find myself with no idea what to focus on next.

The other problem is that I get into a certain groove and just go for hours without a thought to anything else. There have been many [many] days when I didn't eat a meal until 1700 because I was just going and doing and didn't think about my hunger. I might snack along the way but just something I could grab and keep on going. This may sound good. It's not.

It's part of what happenewd to my teeth. For a decade I slept in the family room downstairs but had to keep my stuff in the upstairs bathroom. That was also a time in life when I very often had no place to go. No need to shower for a few days. No need to change. Without those things I wouldn't go upstairs for anything. So many days I got up and started doing things downstairs, in The Cave, in The Garden and get to the end of the day and realize I never nce thought about going up to brush my teeth. I was too focused.

So I plan to take this adventageous flaw and try to train myself to make use of it. Now that things are tweaked and organized and the administrative stuff has calmed down, I can place my focus as needed. I am going to use the systems, routines and lists that I have developed over the past few weeks to train myself to do them without having to think about it. Mindlessly Minding.

The Post

 It is a cold and rainy Sunday morning. The ground blanketed in snow from the night before. It's the perfect recipe for a slow moving morning. [Which is exactly what I am having.]

I've been up and about for 6 hours now. I've kept moving - bouncing from her to there and this to that - but have accomplished nothing. Of course, the main focus of my day is this writing. So I have been trying to work my way to the proper groove. I may or may not be there now. Still, I'm gonna make a go of it.

Overall, I am satisfied with my week. There is so much I could say about it. It was a good week. It was a lazy week. It was an unfocused week. It was a week of slight improvements. Peaks and valleys and flat lines. A week like any other week, I suppose - The Good, The Bad, and The Indifferent.

I wasn't good about my new routines this week. Not good at all. I didn't even really try. I mean, I did on Monday. I started my week with the Daily Routine list. Then it just went away from there. My focuses became different as the week progressed.

I focused on purging my mind - emptying as much as I could onto paper. A clear mind allows for clear living. It's very different than running around with 1,000 thoughts tumbling through the mind. One tends to feel more stressed, more harried, more confused. But emptying the mind alleviates so much pressure. And once the thoughts start to flow freely they continue to flow until you can actually feel less pressure in the head.

I've always been big on lists. I find they help. However, this week, I took list keeping to a new level. I currently have 4 note tablets going at all times. [5 if you count the grocery list on the fridge.] I have a general tablet. This is where I track all of my to-dos and whatever else pops in my head randomly. I have a tablet specifically for this blog. All thoughts related to the week's writing go there. I have a tablet that I am using for video projects. I start writing the cast scripts there as well as take notes for daily vids. Finally, in my black folder [which used to be my go-to,] there is a running list of things I am eventually going to need to get. For instance, I am going to need a wheelbarrow for the spring.

It may seem like a lot but I fell as though it is really going to help me keep on point and find my Zen.

I've come to the realization that, for the time being anyway, I have only 2 real focuses - continuing my recovery and sharing the journey/telling the story.

Starting tomorrow morning, that is how I will live. That is who I will be - until I grow into someone else.

I attended an event at The Meeting Place this week. Sometimes this can be the most fascinating experience of my week. We gather once a month for 10 months. There was a time when I went out every month. Then over the past two years I hardly went at all. My focus was on work and The Homestead. With the stroke recovery, I don't really have that interference.

This was the second event that I've attended since the stroke [of 3.] Both times I had to get a ride there and back. Not my favorite thing to do. I made arrangements for the ride there and he was going to arrange for the ride back. Then things shifted. I started driving this week. I passed my OT assessment. [No question.] Technically, I am waiting on the neurologists approval. I called the office and let them know the assessment was done and I was waiting on the doctor's call. I still haven't heard anything and I'm not waiting around. [To my knowledge, there is no legal restriction on my license.]

Currently, I am only driving myself to and from appointments. This will keep it at 2-3 days per week. The drive itself is short and easy. This is why I still needed a ride to The Meeting Place. Way out of my comfort zone right now. I thought about driving myself. [But I knew I wouldn't go then.] In the end, I decided I would get ready and if the ride showed up I would go.

It was a visitation event. That always brings more people, more activity, more protocol. I'm glad I went. I do want to be more involved and I "see" that happening. I'm just not sure what the path is yet - in what way, to what degree. Things spoke to me throughout the night, so we shall see. I did get a ride home that night - from one of the more "high-ranking" members. That sort of thing always curiouses me.

Wednesday was the Full Moon. [To which I credit most of my "laid back" attitude this week.] It brought with it 2 more firsts since recovery began. I soaked in a tub and I stood for an entire shower. I am going to set a routine for soaking. It helps me so immensely. It relaxes my body, mind, and spirit. It really needs to be a regular thing. And, I am going to continue trying to stand in the shower.

There were some shifts this week. One I feel I can contribute to the big purge of last week. Cuddlebug's friend [we'll name her "The Roommate"] has been staying here while she puts some of her life together. Long story short - she finds herself with no car and no real home. So she is working and putting money together. She stays here when she works and then goes to her bf's on time off. I wasn't certain of the plan. No one really said anything. This was starting to stress me. But I know now and she has put contribution to the Homestead. So that has balanced.

Also, she has been crashing in The Bar Room. This has been inconvenient, though not problematic. It's just kept me from using and enjoying the space. It has also kept me from cleaning and cleansing it. Of course, that is an important step in keeping The Homestead balanced.

This week, they created a bedroom space in the spare room downstairs. I'm glad they did. I just wish they would have communicated it with me instead of me just stumbling upon it.

Nonetheless, this works a number of things. First and foremost, her energy is contained. That allows me to rebuild the energy down there. I never got it quite right. I was just getting The Homestead in place when Cuddlebug and the boy moved in. He took that space over. Then he left but I was working all the time so I used it briefly from time to time. Then "The Roommate" moved in.

So, I've just never been able to get it right.

Now, I am home. The rest of The Homestead has been tweaked and cleansed. I can fstart working it. I'm going to start this week. Today even, if I can. I want to tweak some stuff into place. It has shifted a bit since I last set things up. I want to move the 360 back down there. It's too easy of a distraction up here. I only moved it up so I could play when The Boy lived here.

I also want to cleane and cleanse it. It just so happens this is a cleaning week. So it works out.

The other shift was a $50 check. My friend sent one in December as a contribution to the cause. It was sent directly from his bank. I never received it. I got a email notification with a picture stating it was in queue for delivery. [I get notifications daily.] Still, it never arrived. I filed with the USPS through the original email. I heard nothing. It never came.

In mid-January he had his bank cut another one. Same thing. I got the notification but the mail itself never arrived. I clicked the link again. I also called my local Post Master. He was as helpful as could be but it was gewtting lost before getting to him and there was no tracking on it.

Anyway, a week later the envelope showed up. It was in a plastic bag that basically read, "sorry for the damage. Hope this doesn't screw you." The envelope and the check inside were saturated with oil. I'd love to know what happened to it.

I sent a pic of it to my friend to let him know that I was going to try to deposit it but I didn't know how that would work out. [I did finally get it to go through mobil deposit.] He sent a message back telling me thatthat was the first check.

So...that is finally deposited after a month plus of anticipationb. Also he said if the second check actually shows up I can just cash it.

I did hear from Disability this week. "Ish." I always say "ish." I heard from the state agent who has been reviewing my case. He just had last minute follow up questions about my work history. That's it. He made no mention of his recommendations. All he said is that I would be hearin from S.S. which handles the payments. I realize that sounds positive but them eggs ain't actually hatched yet.

I want to really sit down and look at the numbers of this journey -weeks, months, years. It's just a curiosity thing.

I also need to start mapping ahead now. Foundations are just about in place and I have to move towards a future several months down the road.

See what this week ahead holds.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt. And there is the newer TikTok @WTML23

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC:  Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak

Cat – Mystery, Magic, and Independence

Goddess Bast, Goddess Freyja, Goddess Shasthi. Study Mouse and Dog as well.

Dog – Faithfulness and Protection

Different dogs will mean different things. Examine the qualities of your breed and the individual dog. It takes a lot to break a dog’s spirit. It’s ability to love, even when abused, is tremendous. It’s spirit and willingness to love and to be a companion is great. What is this saying about your need for or lack of companionship? Are you being faithful? Are others around you? Are you showing unconditional love, or receiving it? Do you need to be more protective of your territory? Do you need to play a little more? Does your spirit need bolstering? How about those around you? Examine your territories. Dog knows its own home ground.

Goose - The Call of the Quest and Travels to Legendary Places

A totem reflecting a stimulation of the childhood thrill and belief in stories and legendary places. These stories either reflected an imprint for this life or they may have even imprinted you with certain seed ideas. Also be a totem to aid you in communication especially through the use of stories. Individuals wishing to write - be it stories or anything - can facilitate this process by working with the goose as a totem. It will stimulate the imagination and help move you through creative blocks. Also a symbol of fertility and marital fidelity. It may reflect a need for more vegetables in the diet, and maybe even becoming a vegetarian for a while. It reflects an ability to move forward or backward. It reflects movement, and a call to the spiritual quest. Stirs our imagination and makes us want to seek out new worlds and dimensions. Calling us to follow them on the great spiritual quest. It speaks of the fulfilled promises that great quests bring. Epitomizes the mystery of migration. Reminds us that as any one individual mass his or her quest, it becomes easier for others to do so as well. Reminding us that we should not undertake any quest in life without having a full view of what it entails. In this way the journey is facilitated for others. Reflects an opening to new possibilities. New directions and new possibilities. Reflects an openness to new ideas. Usually indicates we are about to affix ourselves to a new path. Reflects great fertility that should be acted upon if growth is desired. Greater vision, physical and spiritual, will occur. Can reflect that you are about to break free of old childhood restraints and begin to come into your own. You can expect to have the imagination stirred towards new travels to distant places - whether in the body or mind. 

Mouse - Attention to Detail. 

It is either time to pay attention to details, or an indication that you cannot see the forest for the trees. You may be getting so locked into details that you forget the big picture. Are you taking care of the trivial, yet necessary, things of life? Are you getting so lost in big dreams that you are neglecting other aspects of your life? Are you becoming so focused on one or two activities that you are neglecting other opportunities? Are you missing what is right in front of you? Is there something obvious that you are missing or need to focus on? Are you trying to do too many things at once and therefore scattering your energies? Mouse can show how to pay attention to detail; how to attain the big things by working on the little things. Lessons associated with attention. 

Owl - The Mystery of Magic, Omens, Silent Wisdom, and Vision in the Night

Symbol of the feminine and the night. Ties to fertility and seduction. Bird of magic and darkness, of prophecy and wisdom. Symbolically associated with clairvoyance, astral projection and magic, both black and white. Hints of the light of the sun, alive in the dark of night. Meditation on this alone will reveal much about the magic of Owl within your life. Will be able to see and hear what others are trying to hide. What is not being said. See what is hidden or in the shadows. Detect and pinpoint the subtleties. Unique ability to see into the darkness of others’ souls. And life. Their medicine can extract secrets. If your neck is stiff and inflexible, you are hindering your perceptions to a great degree. Often reflects that you were born very perceptive - with a vision of others that you may or may not have recognized or acknowledged. Unique ability for seeing into the eyes and souls of others. Keep silent and go about your business. Eliminate those aspects that are not beneficial and unhealthy. 

Rabbit - Fertility and New Life

Often seen as an animal that can lead one unknowingly into the Faerie realm. A symbol for sexuality and fertility. Usually, you will begin to see a cycle of 28 days beginning to manifest in your life. Those with rabbit totems will see movement occur in their life in varying degrees of hops and leaps. It won’t be steady step-by-step movement. The leaps and hops do not usually take more than the cycle of The Moon (28 days) to occur. Plan for possibilities. May indicate the need to do some more planning or review those you have already set in motion. You do not want to box yourself into a corner. Important not to foreshadow your moves. Learning to shift from freezing to great speeds will aid in your success and enables you to take advantage of opportunities that may present themselves for brief moments. May need to examine the kinds of food being consumed. For the greatest health and well-being, a vegetarian diet, even if only temporary, will strengthen and heal. How to recognize the tides of movement within your life. This in turn will enable you to become even more fertile in your life. 

Squirrel – Activity and Preparedness

The gray squirrel is the most common and the most enthusiastic. If confronted the gray squirrel will usually run away and avoid any fight. Predominant predators are foxes and raptors such as hawk or owl. Two litters per year. On their own in 12 weeks. All squirrels can be quite sociable. Individuals with squirrel totem learn better by doing than studying. Squirrels are also quite communicative. Examine your own activity and preparedness. Are you too active? Not active enough? Are not planning at all for the future at all – distant or near? Are you becoming too erratic – running to and fro and not accomplishing anything? Do you need to learn how to save and ration on any level – money, time, energy, etc? Are you afraid you will never have enough? Are you too hung up on collecting and accumulating? Are you gathering and not giving? Squirrels can teach us the balance within the circle of gathering and giving out. Masters at preparing. Also reminders that in our quest for our goals, we should always make time to socialize and play.