Ep. 26 - Psyche-Active

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

Welcome To My Life is a project, an experiment in Life and ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise is that life is experiential, and that you can, and do, experience the life you choose. It is based on The Wheel of Life and The ARTs for The New Millennium as life building tools.

Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co.

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

Professor Siggy Chong

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop (may they R.I.P.)

PDT

‘Blue 326’

The Original KLT

The Looch

The Baker

Bert-on

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Hoagie

The Anomaly

The Wix-ians

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Mama Rabbit

And, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, August 19, 2018. Time...Disturbing.

Theme of the Week – Detachment

Lesson of the Week – Discipline

Observation of the Week – To Be Something We Must First Accept That We Are Nothing

Totems – Eagle; Wasp; Turkey; Spider; Toad; Cricket; Goose

This week was much the opposite of last week. Last week I started feeling strong and upbeat. Things seemed to be going well and by the end of the week my spirit would crash and burn. A bit of depression, frustration and anxiety would set in. This week, however, I started from that same place. I was down and almost out. I think by Thursday I was ready to explode. Then Friday happened and everything would change.

Sunday was the Day After my Re-Birthday [which seems so much longer than just a week ago.] I worked, so no big deal. I came home to the Princesses and that was something different. We had plans to sleep out in the tent but decided to wait. Thankfully.

Sunday night I would have dreams. I have dreams many nights, but on Monday morning I would actually remember them. That does not happen often. At best, I may recall just a snippet. But that morning I would be able to remember just enough of each one to capture them.

The first involved Big ‘D’ and Boom-Dee-Aye. I was in the living room and Big ‘D’ came down the stairs wanting to know if Boom-Dee-Aye had gotten home yet. When Big ‘D’ learned she had come home, she grabbed something and ran off to Boom-Dee-Aye’s room. Very little in this is surprising. They spend most of their free time in that room together. Big ‘D’ will also be in there when Boom-Dee-Aye isn’t home. I find it all quite odd myself and believe I commented as much in the dream.

The second involved Craze. I don’t know what all was happening but we were in an argument. I mentioned something about him not saying, “Happy Birthday” to me. I guess I was feeling a bit more resentment towards that than I thought.

The third is the one that really caught my attention. I was at a college – not visiting, but apparently getting ready to attend. This is actually interesting to me because I have been giving the thought more and more consideration over the past year. I mean, I’m not like seriously contemplating yet but I have tossed the notion around a bit. I need a challenge. I need to learn and grow. I just wouldn’t know where to go or what to study at this point in my life. And, I certainly wouldn’t know how I would ever pay for it.

Nonetheless, I don’t know where I was going to ‘college’ but I know it was an hour away. I made a statement in the dream about being willing to make the hour commute to The Theatre. In light of what comes on Friday, this becomes an interesting reference. I was staying in a dorm and had 3 roommates. But I didn’t stay. I went off on my own somewhere. And, then, the dream gets weird. I only have my notes and not much recollection of anything.

The rest of the notes are as follows:

Guy on motorcycle – running/hiding from. Spent night somewhere (seen in different dream. Different use.)

Still hiding. Duck into shop. [Also an interesting reference after Friday.]

Slept somewhere else? Different doors. Door 18 (2018?) Found my stuff missing.

Welcome packet. Other like envelope?

Yup. That’s the inside of my head. Don’t know what any of it means but the fact that I remembered it long enough to get it written down fascinates me.

On Monday, the Princesses and I cleaned out part of the garage. This served several purposes. First, it needed to be done. Second, it is the corner that houses all of my re-sale stock. Maybe I can get back to doing some of that. Lord knows, I could use the extra income. I also found something that I had been searching for the past few weeks. It was right there, in front of my face. I would have never looked for it in that corner. [Seek and ye shall find.] When we were all done with the project, I felt different. I felt relieved. It was almost as if a big burden had been lifted from me. Honestly, I felt similar to when I finish a Spirit Quest. I don’t quite get it, but it indicates that that project really needed to get done for whatever reason.

It was on Monday that I started thinking about Shamrock, TX. Shamrock is one of those Stories of The Bizarre in my life. It’s also one of my favorite stories. I decided it’s time to tell one of my stories outright. I hint at them and scurry around them, but I don’t tell them. Wasn’t that my Lesson some time ago? Tell the Stories. I asked for people to vote on a story to tell. I realize, of course, that not a lot of people actually read the blog. And, it seems, those that do aren’t interactive. So, I chose for us. Well…this one was chosen for us.

It was June of 2000. It had been almost 2 years since my first Quest and my Death. Life had seemed fairly normal at that point – all things considered. I’m not sure what I was doing for work. A little of this and a little of that as usual. I was working part-time, and on a barter basis, at my Reiki Master’s shop. I was entertaining at kid’s parties and also doing college events as a Tarot Reader. I may have been at Symphony Hall at that point, but not as much as I would be over the next three years. I know in ’99 I had done more shows at the theatre in New Jersey. I had received my ministry credentials and my Reiki II certification. Life around Geistopia was as it always has been and most likely always will be.

I’m not sure when, or why I received The Call. It wasn’t like The Re-Discovery Tour. That Call came in response to my need for answers and direction. This Quest was just sort of sprung upon me. The directions were very clear though.

“Go west, young man.”

So, I did. First, I headed south to visit with Encyclopedia in Rocky Mount, NC. From there I cut southwest, through Knoxville and on to Alabama. I left Alabama and continued westward on I-40. I was traveling through the [I guess you would call it] panhandle of Texas. It was almost dark and I was getting very tired. It was definitely time to stop for the day, but there hadn’t been anything around for many miles at this point. I saw the signs for Shamrock and thought perhaps I could find a reprieve from the driving. All that could be seen of this town was a Best Western and a very large auto mechanic shop. Looking back, I suppose they were very busy, since there was nothing else around. I decided to stay at the Best Western and sleep in an actual bed.

In the morning, I started my day in the same way I start my days on every Quest – looking for work, my kind of work. As I checked out, I asked the woman working the desk if she knew of any spiritual, new age type of places nearby. She seemed confused for a moment then said, “Well, the only place I can think of…if you continue 40 miles west on Route 40 you will come to a 40 story cross.” This is all very significant.

First, the number combination caught my attention. No matter how I may have felt about anything else it was very clear that this was where I was headed. 40 is a very significant spiritual number and it came as a triplet. However, and second in significance, I was kind of stepping back from all things Christianity at that point in my history. It wasn’t so much that I had a problem with Jesus or the Bible or God. But, the more I learned and grew back then, the more I came to not like the contemporary practice of Christianity. So, this was quite the request G-d was putting before me.

I smiled and thanked her and headed on my way. On my way through the vestibule I was looking up in such astonishment.

“Seriously? Really? This is where you are going to send me? A 40 story friggin’ cross. This is where you think it is important for me to go? Seriously? WTF!”

This is pretty much how the next 40 miles went. I followed because I knew I needed to but, boy, did I go kicking and screaming the whole way. I was not entertained by this idea in the slightest. But it is where I was being sent and the rules are clear on a Quest – do as you’re told. In those days I was still able to do just that without much hesitation. So, I went. I bitched. For 40 miles I bitched. But, I went because I was told to go.

As I drove along the interstate I could see the cross creeping up the horizon. To be honest, it is still one of the tackiest things I have ever seen on my travels. Needless to say, as I took in this heinous sight I was even less thrilled to be making this stop. But…it was my duty even though I didn’t know why.

I parked the car, still kind of appalled at this sight before me. Again, I had no problem with the cross itself but this representation of it just totally put me off. However, they were in the process of expanding their tribute. They were putting in bronze statues representing the 12 Stations of The Cross. This was the first time I had come across this. I mean, I was familiar with each of the moments, but I had never heard them put under this heading. The ‘12’ itself had my interest. 12 is also spiritually significant.

Not all of the statues had been installed at that point, but the ones that had been were certainly inspiring. One in particular had caught my attention. It was the moment that the crowd had fallen upon Jesus in the street. I had come across a theory in my travels and studies. It suggested that it was not Jesus whom had gone to the cross, but someone else instead. I’m not saying that’s what happened, or even that I believe the theory; however, upon seeing that statue I realized that it was actually possible and if it had happened that was the David Copperfield moment in which they had made the switch. It’s how and when I would have done it.

Anyway, I continued round the display and found that it led to a beautiful brick stairway going up to three bronze statues of the crucifixion – Jesus and the two thieves. I was definitely in awe of this. I walked up and stood studying the scene. I noticed above Jesus there was a plaque that read, “INRI.” Now, I have never been one to know every detail of Christian mythology but this piqued my curiosity. The Romans were punishing him, making an example out of him, and here, above his head was a Hebrew blessing. I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around it.

A few feet away from me there was a man working on some of the landscaping. He looked kind of how you might expect of a man in Texas – jeans, dark blue button-up shirt, jean vest, cowboy hat and boots. He had dark hair and a slight beard. His name was Daniel. I approached and asked if I could interrupt him for a question. I asked him about the plaque. He explained that it was not placed there as a blessing but as a mockery. Well, now that made sense.

Anyway, as is typical in moments like these we got to chatting. I told him what I was doing on the road and how I had come to be there that morning. Then he told me his story. I still get chills when I think of it. I still want to cry. I could feel his emptiness. I could feel his pain so deep inside of me. He had lost his wife and daughter. They hadn’t left and that is all I will say on that. That is all he had said on that. He didn’t need to say anymore. The void I felt told the truth of the matter. Now, it was sometime later and he had met a woman online. In those days, the internet was not as we know it today and his options for this were limited to AOL or Yahoo messenger. But, now, he was making his way to Florida to meet her. This place was his latest in a string of jobs to get him there.

When he finished speaking something swept over me. I felt the need to speak myself. As I knelt down in front of him [he was kneeling in the flowerbed this whole time] I placed my hand on his shoulder. “Daniel,” I said…

….

…And, that was the last moment I have, the last memory, until we were interrupted by the pastor who had founded the site. I don’t know how long we had been there. I don’t know what I had said. I lost an entire piece of my life. It happened and I never actually experienced it. Something else had taken over my body. Something else had spoken through me. The Shaman always says that is ‘Speaking in Tongues.’

Now, the pastor kind of gave me the creeps. I did not like his energy or presence at all so I quickly dismissed myself and headed back towards my car. [I didn’t have The Magic Bus in those days.] I walked down the hill and was crossing the parking lot when I heard it. His voice cut through the air so strongly.

“Freedom…” [Yup. I was going by Freedom even way back then.]

I turned around and there was Daniel running towards me. To lighten the story a bit, I always say that when he reached me he reminded me of the 1970’s ‘Do not litter’ Native American. He had one lone tear streaming down his cheek.

“I have to thank you,” he said, “I prayed this morning and you just brought me all the answers.”

I touched this man so deep that it brought a tear to his eye. In that moment I had changed his life…and I don’t even know what happened. I don’t have that piece of time. It is gone. But you see, Daniel is the reason that I had to go to the cross. Daniel is one of two reasons that I needed to make that trip precisely when I did. The other would find me in Phoenix. Daniel is the reason that I live my life as I do. He is why I can walk in faith and follow The Call with little question. Not only did I change Daniel’s life that day, but he changed mine. He helped make me into who I am today.

So…there’s that story. Do with it what you will.

Now, on with the week…

Tuesday morning I woke up thinking about my first real relationship. I had relationships prior, but this was the first long-term, really committed relationship. It was deep and it was real. I can still remember the moment that had brought us together. It was almost…cinematic. Nonetheless, it was a very abusive relationship. I was not the abuser. I have a friend or two on Facebook who can confirm that I would go to work frequently with bruises. I can remember once she had gouged so much skin from my arm that I was scarred for over a week. I didn’t fight back. I didn’t stop her. I just let her beat me, because…well…you don’t strike a woman. Right?

I did eventually put an end to it. Not a story I wish to tell, but I did put an end to it. She moved on to her next boyfriend. She told him all the horrible things about me and I spent months being threatened by him. I never knew which day would be the one on which he would kick my ass. The funny thing is, the whole time he’s running around threatening me, she’s calling me to come spend the night in her dorm room. I did. I didn’t sleep with her. Hell, most nights she had to beg me to even get in the bed with her. [I still had some morals back then.]

I don’t know what the significance of this memory is. I don’t know why it came up or why I remembered it that morning. It is a pattern in my life – the abuse. She was abusive. My family can be very verbally abusive. Sometimes even physically. Like the time some 30 years ago when we would get into an argument and my father would try to choke the life out of me…and almost did. I abuse myself to this very day in ways none of you really want to give thought to.

*shrugs* C’est la vie.

On Tuesday, Sunshine and I would go for our costume fittings. I believe I mentioned before that I have been cast in a small production. Since that time, Sunshine has been asked to join the cast in a small role. I was telling the director about a character that she had developed and some of the improvisational moments she has had. He was as impressed as I am. So, he asked if I thought she would help with the show. I’m excited for her. This is like her theatrical debut. It could be a big moment for her.

From there, we would head to the scrap yard to recycle some metal. This would help pay for the movie that the Princesses wanted to go see that night.

I also received a message on Tuesday. “Tomorrow.” That was it. Simply, “Tomorrow.” No whats or whys or whens. Nothing more than, “tomorrow.” I have gotten this message so often over the years and it leaves me so frustrated. Very often I can see the moment when it happens. The light bulb goes on and I am all, “A-ha! That was it.” Just as often, however, I have no clue what it is that ‘Tomorrow’ brought to me. Such is the case this week. The closest I can come up with is that on Wednesday I received notice of an event on Saturday that I probably should have attended but was in no shape to do so by the time it got here. Other than that, Wednesday seemed like a fairly ordinary day.

Thursday was a breaking point for me. I do not know what was happening but I was so tense and on edge all day, like I was ready to explode. This carried through just slightly into Friday morning. When we left for the Quest on Friday I was still very on edge.

Friday was the Quest, and we’ll get to that in just a moment.

On Saturday, The Demon would come. I haven’t seen him in some time. The last time he came it was a night very similar to Saturday. He does not like when I have a moment of happiness. Now, remember, The Demon once slept at that place – oh that place, the one I loathe so – that place where I would meet Her Jenniness. We brought it here. I didn’t know where else to go with it and time was running out. We faced it here, and because we did not maintain the proper environment we freed it here. It has been on me ever since. And…The Demon calls The Daemon.

Today seemed fairly routine.  So, let’s talk about Friday.

Friday, I would take the girls on their first official Quest. For months, I have been getting these random visions of an alleyway that I had once walked down. I remember it because of all the times that I had been to that town I had only ever gone down that alley once and couldn’t believe that I never knew it was there. It was kind of charming, peaceful…almost enchanting.

Anyway, I had the same vision about two weeks ago. At that point I was like, “Yeah, I get it. I have to go back there and find the alley.” Two days later, the Princesses would come for their weekend and Cuddlebug would look at me and say, “Hey you said you were going to take us back to New Hope.” Well, there you have it. It was time to go. No question about it. The Call was received and confirmed.

The Princesses knew why we were going. I told them about the visions and the alley. We would spend the better part of the day looking for it. I do not know which was more of an adventure – the time before we found it, or the time after.

It took much longer to get there than I had hoped but as always, we were right on time. Our first stop was this quaint French bakery. The chef studied in France and so the pastries are authentic and delicious. The Princesses love this stop as much as I do. I even joked that I could never live in town because I would be poorer than I am by going to the bakery every morning.

After we finished our pastries we headed to Starbucks for some liquid refreshment. While we were there, I was looking at a brochure for a theatre company in NJ, wanting to see what their season was like. I noticed that they had The Full Monty on their schedule. I chuckled and commented that that was the first show my agent had asked me if I wanted to audition for. Cuddlebug seemed surprised. “You had an agent?”

“Oh yes. But only for a moment. She first asked if I wanted to audition for this show. I told her that it wasn’t quite my thing, what with the nudity and all. So, she then looked at me over her desk and asked ‘Can you swing your penis in time with the music? There’s this show – Naked Men Singing.’ I decided at that point that maybe a professional acting career wasn’t for me.”

We left Starbucks and headed off to find our Quest. We walked up and down the street, looking here and there. I even used Google Earth to see if I could find the alley on a map. I got nothing. Quite honestly, after a while I was beginning to think it was all a hallucination. Nonetheless, we continued on our way.

We drifted in and out of shops as we went. There was no hurry to anything really and I figured they might as well enjoy their visit. After several rounds we decided that it might be time for lunch. It took a little bit for us to choose a restaurant. Daddy was feeling the need for some Cuban food but The Princesses weren’t having any of that. So we chose a nice casual pub and headed inside. This is where the first very interesting moment would happen.

We had just been seated and started looking at our menus when Cuddlebug says, “Oh my G-d. I thought there were four of us. I saw another person.” I just kind of snickered and shrugged saying, “This happens.”

After a moment or two I looked up from my menu and there she was, sitting in the seat next to Cuddlebug – The Anomaly, in spirit only of course. It was strange. She looked so natural there. She wasn’t looking at me but at The Princesses. She was smiling. She looked like she was part of the scene. I wish I could have frozen that moment as it was.

I wasn’t as taken by her presence as I should have been. I mean, I didn’t call her there. She came on her own. In fact, for the first time in weeks she was actually the furthest thing from my mind that day. I was a man on a mission. I had a job to do and that was my focus. I had only thought about her twice that morning. Once, when her profile pic appeared on my FB feed and a little while after that when we were in a store and I had heard a song that made me think of her. Yet, here she was…and Cuddlebug had seen her. THAT’s the part that has my fascination. It’s almost like a ‘Proud Papa’ moment. Cuddlebug has always been in tune with things but living with Mama she has never really had someone around to help her hone the skill. So, it was nice to see that she still has it.

After lunch we hit one more store. When we were finished there I told The Princesses that I needed to focus now. Time was running out and we still had a goal in front of us. It was time for daddy to stop and Listen to the Voice. They went into a little candy shoppe and I started to tune in. When I felt I was ready I went into the shop to get them.

Back out on the street, we headed on our way. A little ways down the street we came upon this very small, short side street. It almost looked like nothing more than a driveway to be honest. There was a store up that street that I had been wanting to check out all day. I had commented on it, or thought about it, every time we passed by the sign. I stopped there for a moment. I felt a pull. I even almost stepped. You know the feeling, when your body rocks a bit like you’re ready to move. But, The Voice spoke. This was not an alley. Keep going. So, we kept going.

Down to the end of the block and around the corner. We hadn’t been along this street yet that day. I think it is the only street we didn’t go along at that point. We passed a few little restaurants, and then, there on the left hand side, I saw it. Ney Alley. Could this be it?

We turned down the alley. I was slow and cautious. With every step I took, it started to come back to me. This was it. It was the two residential buildings that gave it away. That was what I loved about the alley in the first place. That was what I had kept seeing in the visions. I still had no clue what we were doing there or what I was looking for. The alley passed right between the two residences and as we walked I said, “I think there used to be a shop here.”

We continued on and the alley made a turn at the end. As we rounded that bend, I realized that we were on the other end of the little side street that I had just been staring up. We had come full circle. But what was the point? What was so important about this seemingly unimportant alley. Truly, if we hadn’t been looking for it, we never would have even noticed the alley. I kind of shrugged it off. Whatever. We found the alley. We walked the alley. Now, I was going to go into the store I had been curious about all day long.

I hadn’t taken two steps inside the door, when I started to remember. I looked around and put the pieces together. It looked different, maybe even different inventory, but this was it. This was the store I had just mentioned to the girls in the alley. I turned and told them this. That’s when the woman who owned the store spoke up. It turns out it was not the same store, but was definitely the same storefront.

Again, as is usual in these moments, we got into a good conversation – me, the shop owner, and The Princesses. We chatted about all sorts of things. The longer we talked, the more I noticed that the shop owner reminded me of an older version of my Reiki Master. And, Cuddlebug seemed fascinated by the fact that she has the same first name as Mama. When we talked about the Quest earlier tonight she even mentioned it. She was just about to say that she thought Mama would really like this store, when I said the woman’s name. The other point they found interesting, and Sunshine had commented on, was that we had been wanting to get ice cream all day long but had waited. At this store we would be given a card that allowed us a discount for the ice cream.

At some point in the conversation, me living in New Hope would come up again. I don’t know who said it – me or one of The Princesses. This would be the third time that day it was mentioned – once in the bakery, once when we passed an apartment for rent, and now in the shop. This time, when it was mentioned, the shop owner chimed in, “If you want to move to New Hope and buy out a shop, I’d like to retire.” I did actually look at the store and asked some questions. I can’t say that I was seriously thinking about it, but this is where we were brought to, so it was at least worth getting some information. The girls and I agreed that we are not finished there. We have to return. I still don’t know that it is the course I will take. But, it is out there and I have been told it is 6-9 months before any decisions are made. I can’t say that it is exactly the kind of store I would like to own. It has some elements that I am looking for. Perhaps it would be a stepping stone towards The Rabbit Hole. Though, it would have me uprooting my life. It’s not that I am completely opposed to that. Short of The Princesses I don’t really have much of a life in The Valley. But, it would have me leaving The Theatre and I am really happy at The Theatre. I enjoy going to work. I enjoy the people with whom I work. And I enjoy the work I do, even though all I do is wash dishes.

Interestingly enough, the whole notion falls in line with part of the reading from Wildwood. Contracts signed, large sum of money, change. However, it seems out of the time frame. In fact, we are only about 3 weeks out from when this major shift in finances is to occur. I still can’t see how this happens. I can not imagine the source. I’m not doubting it. I’m just…apprehensive. I’m remaining open. Who knows what Spirit has planned or how it will come to pass. Lord knows I could use it.

There are still several pieces out there from that reading. There’s this, and there’s the need to make peace with a family member [still not sure how that goes]; And then, there is the need for change and taking better care of myself. The Change is happening on its own, bit by bit and I don’t know that I will ever be good at taking better care of myself.

There was the whole relationship thing, which was reinforced by the second reading. There were two time frames given – 10 to 12 weeks and also November 10th.

Finances have been more than tight for about 6 weeks. Yes, ever since I left The Big Box. I still do not regret that choice. But, for the past 3 pays, half of my check – or more – has been gone before the check even hits the bank. Such is the case this week. My pay will hit the bank in the morning and already I am down to less than $100. I wouldn’t care, except that it has been one thing after another. As usual, all of my plans go south. The Seasonal store was supposed to start 2 weeks ago. I haven’t had the truck in a month so metal scrapping has been minimal. Even my plans to use the free time to get caught up in The Garden has been ruined by weeks of rain.

I’ll get through my week. I always do. It will leave me in more debt, but I will get through the week. On the upside, things are going to start gelling this week. The Seasonal Store starts tomorrow. The hours are minimal but it’s there. Unfortunately, this is also the week that The Theatre shuts down for a few weeks. I have managed to pick up some little things to fill in the gaps. There will be two days of set building and a day or two of going in to do some cleaning. Plus, I have the Train Robbery performance. The truck is supposed to be coming back this week and I have a large stainless steel freezer to pick up at the theatre and scrap.

I’m starting this next week in quite the literal mess. Things around Geistopia are chaotic and messy. This tends to happen when The Princesses are here and the longer they stay the worse it is when they leave. I just can’t get them to really pick up after themselves and help out around here. Sunshine, in particular. I’ve almost given up trying. I just stress the importance and then clean up after they leave.

I feel heavy and stressed. There is a lot to do and it seems like no way to get it all done. Of course, I know this is foolish. It will just take some hard work and dedication.

I happened to look up my totems this week. I don’t always. I put them here as a point of reference for the future, but this week I was just overly curious what the messages might be. Many of them dealt with productivity and industriousness, plus the pay-off at the end. So, I put my nose to the grindstone and push hard to see what I can actually accomplish.

I’m wondering if this is what The Daemon has left me this week. It’s hard to believe it is only the end of the second week and there are plenty more to go. I thought perhaps he had forgotten about me. The week was mostly so mild. I wonder if that will catch up with me before it’s all over.

And finally, last but certainly never least…The Anomaly.

I still can’t quite process her presence in my life. Sometimes I wish my dear sweet Alice had never come along because ‘Her Presence’ would be such a great name for The Anomaly. But, it’s taken lol.

Anyway, the week with her was just as they have been. This week, though, I noticed something. We both seem to have this connection or bond with everyone around us – the same group of people. But, nothing between us. We have moments. Little passing moments but that is about it. She still leaves me breathless, each and every time. And, again, it’s just as I said before – If I advance she pulls back. If I pull back, she advances. Perfect example, the other day I saw her and thought maybe I could slip past unnoticed. Just get in and go about my business. I didn’t make it two steps past her when, without even looking up, she says, “Hey.”

“Hey.” *sigh.*

The next day is the opposite. I saw her and immediately said, “Hey.” I got one in return but just barely. Now there were other random dialogues. All brief, and all started by me. She did randomly join one conversation. She didn’t really talk to me, or even look at me now that I think about it. I was right though. It is nice to just hear her talk. It’s amazing how much you can learn about a person if you just listen. Even if that person is not talking about herself. But, she was relaxed and comfortable. She even leaned slightly towards me. [Another moment etched in my mind.]It reminded me of the night we were out when I was leaning towards her - comfortable but not obtruding. Still, she barely knows I’m there, unless I remind her.

So, why would she come to us in New Hope?

Here’s another observation. Not only does she seem completely immune to my ‘charms.’ Like I said I cannot reel her in for more than a moment. But, also, I can’t read her. Not at all. It’s weird for me. I can usually read people when I want to, but I cannot get a vibe on her in the slightest. She is completely immune to me. And…she doesn’t seem to believe in magick either. She is my antithesis.

And…I love it.

So, without hesitation…

For now and for always, from here in Geistopia this is your beloved Rev wishing you Peace, Love, Light and Freakishness, baby!

Please feel free to leave comments, questions, and concerns. I don’t know you are there if you don’t say, “Hi.” Also, you’re experience of WTML is just as important as mine. So, let me know what you think. Secondly, if you would like to connect, or find out more about me, you can find WTML on Facebook @TheNewWTML or myself at @rev.mgeist.