Like Sands Through the Hourglass

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true!

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co.

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Warden

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

The Looch

The Bassett Hound

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

Zason

St. Diane & You

Brother John

Spooky Queen

Senoll #5

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Dick Pointer

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Belle

The Witch Baby

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, July 25th,, Two-Thousand and Twenty-Fun. Time...Revolting

Theme – How Am I Still Alive

It has come to my attention that I have a lot of stories that end with someone asking, “How are you still alive?” Some of them are spiritual entanglements. Some areSome are moments of stupidity – accidents and poor choices. And quite a few of them are about partying. Sometimes I find myself asking the same question. For now, the answer is I don’t know. All I can say is there must be a G-d and he doesn’t like one of you very much.

Lesson – Enjoy It. You Have 3 Months and Then Everything Changes

This isn’t the actual Lesson But how it cam to me. This is a phrase that came through in meditation sometime ago [about three months.] I’ve been wondering what it meant. I suppose I have gotten just a glimpse of that this week. I’m not sure I know how to phrase what I took from the realization. I talk all the time about The Voice and visions and guidance. I always say to pay attention. There is something real about it all. I guess this just Re-emphasizes that for me.

Observation – limitations are of the Mind

The Post

It has definitely been a week. Let’s start with today is actually Saturday. I just have a feeling that I won’t have much time to write tomorrow. And, considering that last night I didn’t think to say would go as planned [and it hasn’t] I figured I should try to get some done today. It’s been slow going.

There has been a lot to this week. I feel like going in chronological order could take away from some of it. So I am going to talk bits and pieces.

Work/Income – once again the week is not giving me what I want. I can’t say what I need because I always have that. The Driving has been slow this week. Plus I lost two days in the middle of the week. I still have The Theatre and I did have a Reiki client. I’ve won $180 on lottery tickets putting me $130 ahead. I also received my tax refund finally. It wasn’t as much as I was originally projected but that turned out to be my fault and it’s all good. But this still leaves me in a bind for our mini-vacation. We have a back-up plan, but all plans could change before too long.

Tuesday was Cuddlebug’s Day at the Beach. This had a lot to do with throwing my week off. I only spent part of the day driving on Monday because I had to get the Vantasm ready and that took a lot more time and work than I was expecting. Of course, Tuesday we were on the road all day. Wednesday morning I had to put The Vantasm back together and I wasn’t able to work in the afternoon because the President came to The Valley and I wasn’t trying to fight all the road closures.

The day at the beach itself was nice. It was a long day for me. I started at 0400 and finally parked at about midnight. The kids were great. Everyone was polite and well behaved. We had a lot of laughs along the way. The loved the randomness of The Vantasm.

On our travels I was overly exposed to today’s music. Not the pop stuff you hear on the radio either. We started with WAP and it just got raunchier from there. I didn’t so much mind the music. In fact the music itself was ok. Nothing fabulous but ok for the canned music that’s used today. Even the lyrics didn’t bother me. Several times I found myself thinking, “yup. I get that.” I think what troubled me was that I was being introduced to it by my teenagers. They would all laugh because every so often I would just groan and hang/shake my head.

This trip was actually the first time in 16 years I have been able to take my daughters away and actually relax and enjoy myself. I personally had a great, stress-free day. I meditated on the beach, took a few casual strolls, and even hopped on the sky ride for a spin.

My dip in the ocean seems to have become an annual thing. I’m good as long as I get in the water just once a year. That’s what it has been for several years now – one visit, one day, one dip. It has become a very spiritual thing for me – a cleansing and a recharge. It has been a celebration of Mother Ocean and the Divine Womb from which we are born. Last year, though, it got a little different.

If you can recall, last year the Princesses and I went to Mystic and the Beaches of Rhode Island. Before we reached the beach I started getting sensations and vibes. It would turn out that I was being visited by Poseidon. This is not the first time we have crossed paths, but it was the first that he sought me out. Before we would reach the waters, Poseidon would become his son, Triton. The water was playful aggressive that day. Strong waves, but just strong enough to have some fun. I felt rejuvenated after all of that – energized and empowered.

This year was a bit different. On the way down, I became aware of the presence of Poseidon’s Roman twin – Neptune. He would come up a couple of times along the drive – in particularly his association with Pisces. I did do some quick and cursory research. Neptune seems to correlate with dreaming – especially when working with Pisces. This is not just dreams themselves but also that personal dreamworld we each enter to escape the reality of our own.

I’m not quite sure where to go with that or how to apply it to my life. Let’ be real – my whole existence is a dreamworld. There is nothing normal or ordinary about it on any given day. It is this strange mix of perfection and peccability. Strange things happen, life drifts into place, and I am left feeling euphoric more often than not.

I had not planned on going into the water immediately. I was going to rest and chill a bit first. But, by the time I got down to the beach, the kids were already in the water. I had wandered down just to keep some track of them and know where they were. It started with just standing at water’s edge. Then a step forward. And another. And another. The Voice would kick in and tell me to just go ahead and get in. “Do it now, because when you’re done things are going to change.”

It was a very Zenful experience. I felt at one – not just with the water, but with everything. I was cleansed and refreshed. I felt good but mellow. I did not have the exuberance I had found under Poseidon and Triton. This feeling was much more…dreamy. My Spirit definitely shifted in that time and I feel as though life as a whole did also. But, shortly after it I would receive a phone call that would definitely shift things quite a bit. It was one I knew was coming but had not expected quite so soon. [But, we’ll get to that.]

The day was casual and fun. The kids hung out on the beach and were in and out of the water. Some of them went to explore the boardwalk a bit. Then later we walked about as a group. It was nice because my daughters didn’t have to fight with me to keep up with them. I walk like I drive – very very slow. I am in no hurry to get anywhere – ever. So they had their group to hang out with and I just casually strolled along behind. Sometimes far behind. We all got some ice cream and there was much riding of rides. We had contemplated mini golf but the group couldn’t be larger than 6 and there were 7 of us. Cuddlebug was insistent that she didn’t want to do it if we couldn’t all do it together.

On the way home, there was a lot of fox energy. It appeared mostly on signs and such. However, at one point a fox actually crossed the road in front of us and literally jumped onto the other bank. Not like a four-legged leap as you might imagine. No. This fox, stood on its two hind legs and jumped onto the bank. I really need to take time to look deeper into Fox Medicine

The Theatre is going good enough. It’s still all very strange to me being back there. It hasn’t been bad, but there’s…something. The bosses and I are getting along just as good as we ever did. Most of the staff doesn’t talk to me, but then half of them don’t even know me. The place does seem to bring out the “worst” in me – the lower level energies. For instance, I haven’t really had a drink of liquor since November of 2019. [If there was an, it was a brief encounter because I don’t remember.] Yet, two weeks ago I had 9 shots of tequila before leaving for the day. The other night The Big Boss and I were having a drink before the show barely got started. Of course, there is also always a bit of gossip and pettiness. If I don’t get caught up in it then I wind up stuck in the middle of it. They are finding themselves short on help. Once again, they are in need of a dishwasher. I have been asked twice if I would come back. As much as I enjoy being there, as much as I adore them all, I do no think it is something I can do. I can help out when they are in dire need, such as this show. I can fill in from time to time and lend a hand. But, I do not think I can go back on a regular basis. I have somehow managed money for the past few weeks [Divine Grace and all that] but I have still taken quite a hit. Managing the driving around a regular schedule made it much harder to make the money. [And, I hate to admit it, but I have become fond of that level of income.] Only time will tell, I suppose. There are still two weeks left in this run. Them I am helping them with the Train Robbery again at the beginning of September. Then in Mid-September there is a period when they have to tear down and rebuild the set twice in 24 hours. I imagine I am on call for that.

I want to tell you about my Friday. It is not the sort of thing I would normally just write out. Some of you may not like what you read. You may have thoughts and feelings. But, the simple truth of the matter is – from time to time, longer now than I can remember – this is my life.

I had a friend contact me for a Reiki session. We had scheduled it for Friday. So, my plan was to drive in the morning, do the Reiki session, drive again, unload the stuff from The Vantasm, and go to The Theatre to run the show. The day started precisely as planned, but just before the Reiki session it would take a turn.

I got up that morning, hit the massages and the shower and started driving. I smoked 1 pipe that morning. I finished it at about 1000 as I pulled into my friend’s driveway. By 1030 I was taking a half dose of mushrooms. This was not planned. [Not on my end anyway.] My friend has been getting hyper-spiritual lately and decided he would like to try the Micro Dose experience. Apparently, I was coming with him.

We then did the session. It was without a doubt the most intense session I have ever given. It was too intense, at times, for me. I do not know what all was coming through. I saw figures and symbols and colors and it all went by so fast. Now, you may think it was the shrooms. I promise you it wasn’t. I had actually pulled myself out of the session twice to see how grounded I was in the real world. I was very grounded. Whatever was going on was the session itself. But, then, I came expecting an intense session. Also, he received similar/related visuals [without us discussing any of it.] this all happened between 1050 and 1150.

By 1215 I was on the road. The Professor was down off the mountain and I had promised to visit him. [Of course, that was before I had known what I was in for that morning.] My friend was having. Quite the trip and stressed several times that he didn’t think driving was the best plan. Admittedly, there was trip happening, but because of the reiki session, mine was in a sort of holding pattern. It wasn’t increasing but it wasn’t dying out either. I figured I had the wherewithal to get where I was going.

I won’t lie – the drive was challenging. Perhaps not as bad as one might imagine but certainly worse than one would like to think. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. Believe it or not, I am as good as a trained professional. I used simple tricks to keep my mind from falling prey to the hallucinations. There weren’t many of them to begin with, but still, one wrong moment and my mind would have been elsewhere. At one point there were pretty colors off to the side of the road. At another the road moved like water – rocking back and forth. And, my particular favorite – the dotted white line formed a train and went off the road. Oh, and there was also the brief moment when my entire reality looked like a weekday comics page. I had things to hold and to focus on to keep my mind from following. It was a wild ride of ups and…well, more ups. I think what helped the most was the fact that I laughed my ass off the entire ride at the insanity of what I was trying, and succeeding at.

I would NEVER suggest that someone should try this. And, if you were to ask me – No, given the choice, I would not ever do it again myself.

So, I arrived at my destination – safe and almost sound. Over the course of the nest 4[ish] hours I drank 5 beers, had 2 more pipes, 2 ‘special cookies’ and a ‘special gummy Candy’ and 3 squirts of THC spray under my tongue.

I then went to The Theatre. I had two hours before show call. The truth is, I ran the best show I have in a few runs. So much, in fact, I celebrated by ending the night with 3 shots of cinnamon whiskey.

I am not sure what the point is in being so candid. But, I have lived through many days just like this one. Whatever the day was it was intense and afterwards I felt uplifted and empowered. [My ass was dragging but still I felt ready to face the world.]

There would be some drama around Olde Geistopia this week. Some of it the standard old nonsense. Some of it a bit more heavy.

Sunday night, at the beginning of the week, I was parked at The Putter’s for the night, minding my business. No different than I have done night after night for months. Suddenly, Big ‘D’ is coming out of the front door and crossing towards me over the porch. She said that Craze was talking to Boom-Dee-Aye earlier and didn’t seem to be making sense. She called the doctor and he said that it could be the beginning of a stroke. She wanted to call the ambulance but wanted me to come in and see what I thought.

I went in and said hi. His energy was a little off but nothing I haven’t encountered with him before. We chatted idly a bit and then he started to tell me a story. Mom stood behind him looking at me funny and just kind of shaking her head. I acknowledged her…and then ignored her. I wanted to see where he was going.

So I sat on the footstool across from him and let him tell me his story. At this point, I didn’t know if what he was saying was true, but it was coherent. All of the thoughts were complete. All of the sentences were whole. The only ObservationI made was in his breathing. It was hard and heavy and a bit of phlegm. But, again, this is nothing I haven’t seen several times over the course of the past few months. So, I asked hi about the story he was telling my sister.

Here there was a bit of trouble. First, he had trouble with names. At one point I was one of his brothers. This is nothing new either. He has been screwing up names/people for a while. I have been both of his brothers already [and I think even a nephew or two.] My daughters have been every female in the family. The girls tell me that he was diagnosed with early stages of dementia some time ago. Not that I think that means anything because let me tell you, Fellow Travelers, I am not near his age nor do I have his health challenges and I screw that shit up all the time. Just ask my daughters. I don’t even try their names any more. It’s simply “you” and “the other one.”

It seems the story was about some time that the three brothers had the car and the youngest found something in it. We didn’t quite get through the story. First, he was having trouble finding the word for the object and his thoughts would get caught up in that net. Again, I wasn’t very concerned about this. There are times that I can’t find the words for an object I was just holding in my hand. However, this was the second thing I had noticed. The first was the time frame.

The story is from many years ago. I’m talking like 60-70 years ago. Yet, there was a part of his brain that was recalling it as a recent memory. He started the story with, “Just the other day…” When I realized it was about the three brothers being together, I asked him to start the story over. Again, “Just the other day…”

I said, “Pop…when the other day? You don’t get out of your chair how did you see Walter and Ernie? [Not to mention, Ernie lives in Florida.]

“No,” he said, “this was a long time ago.”

Ahhhh. OK.

Still no cause for concern from what I could tell. Coherency was in question and this man had some minor struggles but he was there. So, Big ‘D’ pops into the room behind him and head nudges me to come to the kitchen. I told pop I had to take a piss and excused myself.

I get into the kitchen and she starts with, “So, what was he telling you?” I told her it was some story about her running into some woman at the store who had the same breathing problems as him and that she said it gets better.

“Oh. Yeah that’s true…so…what do you think?”

“I think you need to give me a few more minutes.” And, off to the bathroom I went.

When I came back out, she was in the living room telling him that she was calling the ambulance.

*Disgusted, irritated look accompanied by a giant shrug* WTF???

You see, this is the other reason I was brought in. The man hates to go to the hospital, especially by ambulance. And, it seems, I am the only one he will not fight. I don’t know if it is because ehe actually trusts me or if he just realizes that they do have a tendency to over react to things. Nonetheless, in these situations, I seem to be the one to get him to go calmly.

So, she goes off to Boom-Dee-Aye’s bedroom to call the ambulance and I set to task number two. At first, he wasn’t completely clear on what was going on. He had to ask me if she was going to call the ambulance.

“Yes.” [The truth of the matter is, she was going to the call the ambulance all along. It didn’t really matter what I said. She just assumed I would agree with her.]

He flipped. He was gonna give her hell when she came back in. “I can be just as fucking stubborn as she can.”

“Now, Pop, that ain’t gonna do ya no good. She’s calling the ambulance. That’s a done deal and you’re going. So, you go. You be cooperative and polite…and you deal with the other bullshit when you get home.”

Somewhere about this time, the other two came into the room. I can only assume that they heard what I was saying. [And, it is possible that I let my mother know I was disgusted and pissed.] But, I look up and see Boom-Dee-Aye giving me the ‘move along’ finger, pointing over and over to the door. She didn’t have to tell me to go. I was already going. This is part of the reason I don’t know if I expressed my feelings or not. Once they hit the room my only focus was getting out. I cannot stand being in their presence, especially in situations like this.

So there she is, giving me a look of contempt and ushering me, be one sole finger, out the front door. I walked past her and, under my breath, offered her a casual, but courteous, “fuuuck you.” Out the door I went.

They followed me onto the porch. [This is an M.O. by the way. They can never let me walk away until they feel victimized and validated.]

“I thought you told her to call the ambulance.”

Turning on my heels, “Noooo…I told her to give me more time. But you two can’t get your heads out of your asses.” And back to The Vantasm I went.

I know it was wrong of me, but I was pissed.

First, I was pissed for him. In their valiant effort to do such good they did not stop to confer or respect him. They are always so busy acting “for his best interest” that they never pay attention to what his actual interest is. They are right and he will do as they say when they say…or there will be hell to pay. He knows it. He’s commented on it. I’ve witnessed it time and time again and it pisses me off every time. I’ve fallen victim to it. It’s why I don’t deal with them.

Second, I was pissed because I was used. She was going to make that call all along and she knew it. But, she used me as a buffer [and wanted validation.] My time was wasted and I was drug into nonsense I need no part of. The woman has not once in all of our recent encounters asked me how I am doing or how things are going for me. She does not ask about the delivery driving. She knows I do it, but she has never once asked how it is going for me [or anything else about it for that matter.] She has only suggested that she believes I could do better at an amusement park. The woman can’t talk to me like a person, but she can use me to validate and buffer what she knew he was going to see as a violation.

Yeah. I was pissed.

If they had asked me, and actually wanted the input, I would have told them to watch him closely until bedtime, get him to bed, and get to the doctor first thing in the morning. Then, if needed, it can be the doctor sending him.

Now, to be fair – and I did apologize to my mother for giving her hell – they did find some problems. Nothing that the difference between Sunday night and Monday morning was going to make, but problems nonetheless. And problems that would set the course of…well…forever.

On Monday, they discovered congestive heart failure and pneumonia. [I feel as though I have heard the heart failure before.] So, there was stuff going on and that is fair.

But, to add fuel to my ire and irritation, When I picked the girls up Tuesday for our adventure, they told me that when their mother got the text about Pappy’s health, it started with, “Well, Matt’s mad at us again.”

Seriously?? My father’s health is involved but the main point is that I’m mad at them again. That had to be mentioned right away. Yet, no one seems to understand why I don’t want to deal with these people. None seems to get why I am disgusted and irritated and finished. They do nothing but spread negativity about me. But now I’m even more irritated that somehow that trumps my father’s health. I told the story too – twice. But that was the story. That was the point of the dialogue. My father’s health was a separate conversation. [And it came first.]

Tuesday, I would get a call while we were at the beach. “I don’t want to ruin your day…” [hmmm…then why are you?] “…but I thought you should know – they found a mass on his brain, a mass on his lung, and cancer in his bones. Don’t tell the girls. I just thought you should know.”

I don’t know what she thought was going to happen or how this would go down. She just called and told me that, basically my father has up to three months. I got a little weepy. My daughters saw me. They knew it was her on the phone so they were watching me. Of course they asked if it was pappy. Of course I had to tell them. And for a brief moment, she had ruined our day. But we bounced back and had a good time.

I appreciate that she wanted me to know. But, considering the circumstances, no she did not have to call me at the beach. Nonetheless that is that.

So, yes, Craze is dying.

I am ok in this. I have peace with it and I have peace with us.

He came home on Wednesday and I was here when they brought him. I hung out for a bit and then went to The Theatre.

Thursday, I came back to visit. I walked in and he seemed bright and vibrant and in good spirits. “How ya doin Pop?”

He shrugged casually, “Eh…dyin’.” And then he chuckled softly. He seemed ok with it all. Though, there were times, when he thought everyone else was otherwise engaged, you could see it in his eyes as the reality set in.

I’ve been to visit him everyday. Three of those days with the girls. On Thursday, I told him that I thought he should know and accept before he leaves this world just how much light he brought into it by being Crazy Elmer. I mentioned all the people he has made laugh and lifted spirits. I mentioned all of the people who have worked with him and have the utmost respect and admiration for him – and by my count that is every person that has ever worked with him.

I also told him that I loved him – forever. He smiled and gave me thumbs up. I hugged him. He kissed my cheek. And this is the most intimate my father and I have been in my entire life. I feared up and then I laughed and said, “OK, enough of that sappy bullshit.”

He said, “It’s nice to hear.”

So this is where life brings us to at Lammas, the start of the harvest, Fellow Travelers.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**

Fox - Feminine Magic of Camouflage, Shapeshifting and Invisibility.

New world opening up. The process of creation is beginning. Guide to enter the Faerie Realm. Unless a male can recognize the magic of the feminine - in himself or others - and learn to use it to Shapeshifting his own life, it will ultimately lead to destruction. The Kundalini, and the freeing of the creative life force. Practicing and using camouflage. Working to blend in with surroundings, to come and go unnoticed, moving silently about without revealing your intentions. Learning to control the aura. Adjust its frequency and intensity so that you harmonize more with others. Levels of energy and fertility. If the focus stays on the creative energies, any sharp turn in the individual’s life will be handled with ease. Fox people have the ability to insulate themselves from anything that may seem cold, especially in relationships. Can appear larger than they are - for personal protection or for making greater impressions. Establish a trotting pace. Ability to move into new directions. Call upon new resources instinctively. Excellent ability to hear what is not being said. The ability to hear spirit. Size people up accurately. Develop the ability to see spirit. Aromatherapy. Awakening of the Kundalini. Higher forms of discrimination and discernment. Capture any prize.