Pick Yourself Up, Brush Yourself Off [or, Don’t be a Bitch!]

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true! 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is a Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

 Looch

BJ & The Bull

Ace

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Wilson

Zason

St. Diane & You (5)

Brother John & Sister Jen

The Bee Man

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Mayor & The Turkey Man

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, October 12, Two-Thousand and Twenty-Jive. Time...Repeating

Theme – Flaws

 We all got 'em.

We all need them. I think we forget that sometimes. This is not an excuse to let them unchecked. Instead it is a reminder that sometimes our flaws become beneficial.

But who is to determine what our flaws might be? Other people? Other people are gauging us through their own flaws. [Which they are probably ignoring.] The self then? Ah, but this is a narrow line and a slippery slope.

We tend to lean one of two ways when dealing with our flaws. We can be too lenient, too forgiving. Perhaps even brushing them off as nothing. Obviously, this is no good. Unchecked flaws get in our way. They will keep tripping us up. Or, we can lean more towards being more critical - over analyzing and over thinking. This is a pattern that can then never be broken, fir we will never be satisfied. There must always be more wrong.

I'm not sure when in history man developed this idealistic notion of ourselves. We are flawed by nature. This is not an excuse to be toxic nor harmful on purpose. It's just an acknowledgement that we are flawed. In fact, I have never personally met a person without flaws. Not one. NO matter how far along they may have come. NO matter how great they may be. No matter how much work they put in - everyone still passes on with flaws.

I say embrace your flaws. What You Resist Persists, What You Accept Gives Way. Embrace your flaws and the ones that need to change will. The ones that don't change you will learn to work with.

Lesson – Use What You’ve Learned

 I'm struggling with this one. I don't know what I have learned through all of this. It hgurts my head even to try to think about it. I have tried every approach to my life and it stays in the same horrific state...or worse. Financially, I have tried various jobs. I have worked every day. I have pinched monies, afraid to spend even an extra dime. I have also tried working less, or being looser with my spending - letting The Universe fill in the gaps. [Do Not Worry About Tomorrow.] Still I struggle. Still I'm poor. No matter how far I bring myself something knocks me back. So what is the right approach? What have I learned? Nothing works for me. As a person, I have tried everything from being silent and soft to just calling it how I see it. No matter what I do I end up offending or upsetting someone. So what do I do? What have I learned?

Maybe the Lesson is that it doesn't matter what you do, things can [and probably will] go awry. [Because life itself is flawed.] So, just do what you want and feel happy.

Observation –I'm Just so Tired of It

 Whatever it is that I signed on for in this life, I am just so very tired of it. I'm tired of the struggles and the failures and the mishaps. I'm tired of "making it work" and "turning that frown upside down." I'm tired of putting a positive spin on every moment of my life. I'm tired of picking myself up and brushing myself off. Yup. I can do it. I can do it better than anyone I know. I'm just so very tired of having to do it all the time.

The Post

 Well, this is all very odd.

This was the original draft for last week's post. This is the one that disappeared on me after hours of writing. I kept what was left of the draft [which wasn't really anything at all] because I wanted to keep the title. Today, I opened it to work on the post and my T-L-O were back and the Totems and even some of the writing. I scratched the writing and kept the rest. I'm not sure The Trinity is applicable this week, but we'll run with it. [I'm certainly still thinking about that Lesson.]

I wanted the title because this is my M.O. This is what i do. I take whatever hit is the flavor of the week. I catch my breath. I pick myself up, brush myself off, and move on. Sometimes it's harder. Sometimes it takes a lil longer. But I seem to always get there.

This time it has been particularly challenging. It was a particularly hard hit. It has left me so out of sorts. I just...I don't know what to think or how to feel. I had the life I wanted. I worked hard for it - even through the stroke. And then, POOF, by no doing of my own and with no way to stop it, it's all gone. I'm left with nothing of what I had built up.

I know this sounds like dwelling in it and focusing on it - being a bitch. It's just that it has left my very off balance and out of sorts. I don't know what to focus on. I don't know what to pursue. I don't know what I'm living for anymore.

I'm lost.

I'm just going through the motions of being alive.

Just a guy dopin' along.

And that's what I do - each and every day. I dope along. I don't even make hard and fast plans for each week anymore. I have my things that are scheduled - appointments, The Theatre, The Seasonal Store - and beyond that I am completely winging it. However a day goes, it goes.

So let's look at what this week was.

To be honest - I lose so much of my week. I'm in almost a constant meditative state. [Or, something similar.] I have come to the realization that for most of my days, the haze has returned. I'm out and about. I'm doing things. But, internally - on all levels, I am shut down. At least until I am back in the seclusion of The Cave. Even then I can't be certain that I am fully present.

I'm on auto-pilot.

Nonetheless, I did my thing. I kept my appointments and obligations. I worked. I performed. I ran errands and took care of business.

The wood stove is re-piped, cap and all. It took two trips to the hardware store and assistance from two different friends at two different moments but it is done. The stove has been in use. It's been nice. I keep it a comfortable 70 degrees in here.

It has caused me an issue in as much as I wasn't very ready to be burning through wood on a regular basis. So, I've been having to cut it, which in and of itself is not terrible. The issue is that I have to cut it over in the shop side but that has all my dishes and food and such. So it's been a struggle. Setting up. Tearing down. Cleaning up after myself.

But, that too, will come to an end soon enough. The outlets are installed and connected on their end. They're not yet usable but its just fun to see them in and done. There is work to be done at the box end and hopefully that is completed this coming week. I can then move things around and put all of the "living" stuff on one side and have the other side as a workshop space.

Once the electric is done, not only will things be much safer but I will be able to be more functional. I won't have to think about my day in terms of appliances in use. Each of the outlets will be on its own 20 amp circuit.

I'll be able to run a heater.

My finances are holding steady. I'm not quite making as much as I'd like while driving but I'm not quite spending as much as I budget I either. I've been taking care of larger expenses like the car and the electric, as well as picking up miscellaneous things along the way like an air bed and a fire extinguisher. I've also been gathering funds for The Trip.

I have a long way to go across the board but I think if I just remain diligent and aware, I will prevail.

Basically things are balancing out in all areas. Little by little things are getting done. And, Once It's Done, It's Done. The miscellaneous expenses will settle down soon enough. The Cave will be organized and functional. The appointments will settle down. Life will calm after The Trip. Just in time for Yule and the Heart of the Winter Season.

Do very fascinating - how it is all timing itself out. Precise & Perfectly Placed.

As frustrated as I am, I am also intrigued.

The old Imp of the North paid his first visit to me today.

There may be some degree of magick slated for next weekend. But that's all I can say on that at the moment. We will see and I will report.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt. And there is the newer TikTok @WTML23

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC:  Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak

Raccoon - Dexterity and Disguise

Also study Bear. Diet - vegetables and fruits. Expert at disguise and secrecy. Can teach you how to mask and disguise and transform yourself. Can teach you how to become dexterous in the masks you wear. Can show you how to wear a healing mask or show you the face of what you will become. Holds the knowledge of how to change our faces. Do you need to present a different face to people for greater success? Are you hiding your true self? Are others hiding their true selves? Learning to use masks to put one area of yourself to sleep so that another can be awakened. Will help you develop dexterity in using masks to achieve new and altered states and dimensions. 20 week cycles. 

Hawk - Visionary Power and Guardianship.

Messengers, protectors and visionaries. Visionary power and leading you to your life purpose. There is a message coming. What you eat, you become. Kundalini. Childhood visions are becoming empowered and fulfilled. The ability to soar and glide upon the currents. Great Heights while still keeping your feet on the ground. Attacks by people who won’t understand you - attack your ability to soar. Teaching of higher expression of psychosis and vision. Beauty and harmony in moderation. Lead you to using your creative energy in manifesting your soul purpose. Hope and new ideas. A need to be open to the new or shows ways that you may help teach others to be open to the new. Be observant. Life is sending signals. Careful in expression. Comments and actions will be strong and powerful with the ability to tear and/or kill. 

Cricket –[from Spirit-animal.com]

Like the Ladybug and the Dragonfly, Cricket symbolism is a sign of exceptional luck. Furthermore, this spirit animal says that the things that you have been working toward and dreaming about are now possible.  Therefore, Cricket meaning directs you to stay open to guidance and messages so that you will know what you have to do. You may be guided to buy a lottery ticket, interview for a new job, or be in the right place at the right time. In other words, Cricket symbolism is letting you know that all things are possible right now. All you have to do is feel that you deserve it! Similar to the Robin and the Whale, people with Cricket totem know how to sing their songs loud and clear! In other words, they love to use the power of their voice to attract what they want in life. These folks also have a gift for finding their way through awkward moments with panache and aplomb. People with this spirit animal are excellent communicators, love to walk their talk and are often vegetarian. In fact, like the Deer totem, they understand the power of music and will usually have a career that uses music as a form of healing.

Fly – [*from trustedpsychicmediums.com*]

 When the fly spirit animal makes its way into your life, this usually serves as a warning that there’s danger lurking somewhere.

It means to catch your attention when you are spending too much of your time with someone or on something that has a destructive influence.

The fly meaning brings to focus to anything that’s causing harm to your life, whether of your own choosing or not. An example of this is giving in to societal pressures and indifference.

Just like the cricket spirit animal, the meaning of the fly also speaks about hate, spite, malice, or blame. It buzzes to be heard and flies overhead annoyingly until you are forced to swat or kill it with anything you can get your hands on.

However, before you dismiss the fly as nothing but bad and undesirable, the fly symbolism also speaks about cures for sicknesses (just like the deer symbolism).

The meaning of the fly also serves as a reminder that you reap what you sow.

What you put out there to the world will come back to you a hundredfold, so make sure that your actions, thoughts, and words come from a place of love and goodness.

The fly spirit animal symbolizes abundance and prosperity during times of adversity.

It sends the message that by being persistent, consistent, and determined even in the face of tragedy will result to victory.

The fly signifies encouragement, because it does a very excellent job of goading you with its presence until you surrender to what it wants and let you be.

It will always fasten on you, arouse you, reproach you, or persuade you, and will not be satisfied until you get on your feet and achieve what you set out to achieve.

Fox - Feminine Magic of Camouflage, Shapeshifting and Invisibility. 

New world opening up. The process of creation is beginning. Guide to enter the Faerie Realm. Unless a male can recognize the magic of the feminine - in himself or others - and learn to use it to Shapeshifting his own life, it will ultimately lead to destruction. The Kundalini, and the freeing of the creative life force. Practicing and using camouflage. Working to blend in with surroundings, to come and go unnoticed, moving silently about without revealing your intentions. Learning to control the aura. Adjust its frequency and intensity so that you harmonize more with others. Levels of energy and fertility. If the focus stays on the creative energies, any sharp turn in the individual’s life will be handled with ease. Fox people have the ability to insulate themselves from anything that may seem cold, especially in relationships. Can appear larger than they are - for personal protection or for making greater impressions. Establish a trotting pace. Ability to move into new directions. Call upon new resources instinctively. Excellent ability to hear what is not being said. The ability to hear spirit. Size people up accurately. Develop the ability to see spirit. Aromatherapy. Awakening of the Kundalini. Higher forms of discrimination and discernment. Capture any prize. 

Eagle - Illumination of Spirit, Healing, and Creation. 

Balance of being of the Earth, but not in it. The soul, the spirit, and warmth of life. The resurrection. Punishment and reward. Greater sight and perception. Reflects an awakening ability or the need to learn to walk between worlds. Heroic nobility and divine spirit. The rediscovery of the inner child. Alchemy. Involvement with creativity. A willingness to experience extremes in a controlled condition. A willingness to use your passions to purify and to use your abilities, even if you get scorched a little in the process. The need to stay connected to and use things of the Earth. Important to know when to speak, how much, how strongly. New vision will open. The ability to hear - spiritually and physically - may also increase. Cooperative responsibility. A healing role. Opportunities (even those thought long lost) will arise - learn to see and snatch them up. A new sense of timing and movement will begin to develop Primal force inherent and easily awakened. Take on the responsibility and the power of becoming so much more than you now appear to be. Events will now fly faster, repercussions for everything you think, do and say (or fail to) - positive and negative - will be both stronger and quicker. A powerful new dimension to life and a heightened responsibility for your spiritual growth. Touch all of life with healing and become the mediator and the bearer of new creative forces within the world. 

Blue Jay - Proper Use of Power

It can reflect lessons in using your own power properly. It can also reflect lessons in not allowing yourself to be placed in a position in which power is misused against you. It has the ability to link the heavens and the earth, to access each for greater power. This is a totem that can move between both and tap the primal energies at either level. Higher knowledge that can be used. The main problem will be dabbling in both worlds, rather than becoming a true master of both. Usually have a tremendous amount of ability, but it can be scattered or it is often not developed any more than is necessary to get by. Not unusual to find individuals with the Jay totem being dabblers - especially in the psychic and metaphysical fields. They know a little bit about a lot of things and they use that knowledge sometimes to give the impression that they know more. Wear the crown of true master ship requires dedication, responsibility, and committed development in all things in the physical and spiritual. A reminder to follow through on all things - to not start something and then leave it dangling. A time of greater resourcefulness and adaptability is about to unfold. Going to have ample opportunities to develop and use your abilities. Look for ample time to develop and use your energies to access new levels. Actually a member of the crow family, most crows have no fear. It is because of this the Jay can help you connect to the deepest mysteries of the earth and the greatest of the heavens. This sense of seeking pleasure - often at the expense of others - can reflect an imbalance. Sometimes jay shows up when this is happening in your own life. A tremendous ability for survival with the least amount of effort. They reflect great talent, but that talent must be developed and utilized properly. It indicates that you are moving into a time where you can develop your innate royalty that is within you, or simply be a pretender to the throne. It all depends on you. 

Bear - Awakening the Power of the Unconscious

The Seven Great Lights of The Divine. Ties to subconscious and even unconscious mind. A symbol for alchemy, the ingredients of primal matter. It relates to all initial stages and primal instincts. How to go within to find the resources necessary for survival. Help you go within your soul’s inner sanctum to find your answers. Discernment and discrimination. Is your judgment off? How about those around you? Are you not recognizing what is beneficial in your life? Are you not seeing the core of good deep within all situations? Being too critical of yourself and others? Wearing rose-colored glasses? Go deep within so that you can make your choices and decisions from a position of power. Linking Heavens and Earth. Symbol of fertility, of things that grow. We must bring what we awaken into the world and apply it. Keep the cub inside alive and occasionally climb trees. A need to go deep within yourself. Have periods in your life when you are more reclusive. Go within yourself and even give birth to two or three ideas or projects. The Natural sweetness of life. Go within to awaken the power, but only by bringing it out into the open and applying it will the honey of life be tasted.