S10EP8: Mindset Match

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true!

WALT: Welcome to my Life is a Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

Looch

The Bassett Hound

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason

St. Diane & You (3)

Brother John & Sister Jen

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Cousins

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, July 9, Two-Thousand and Twenty-Free. Time...???

Theme – By the Grace of G-d

Everything I have and everything I am is By the Grace of G-d. If I take a moment to think about it, all of my life is a blessing. As I look back, even the things that seemed to have gone wrong were blessings. They led to something else or they kept me from making bigger mistakes. The Lord Giveth and The Lord Taketh Away. It matters not which is being done. It is all By the Grace of G-d.

Lesson – One Cannot Serve Mammon and G-d at the Same Time

I had a realization this week that I have been so very focused on the money. I have been chasing it. I have been letting it consume me. It has kept me from being peaceful and zenful. At times, it has kept me from doing things I felt I was being guided towards. This all keeps me from serving G-d. I am not living my purpose if I am chasing after things. The truth is, we cannot chase [serve] anything in life and G-d at the same time – job, money, interests, romance. Any of these things begin to consume the mind and eventually it will also consume the soul.

Observation – Don’t Fight It

I always think I know what is best for me. I am very often proven wrong. Perhaps today is indicative of that. I kept trying to do right. Things kept going wrong. I fought back by trying harder. Things got worse. I got angry. Perhaps I was getting angry and frustrated because on some level I knew I was fighting it. I was fighting the path because the path didn’t suit me. I had plans and goals. To me they were important and imperative, but perhaps The Universe knows something I don’t. I did find that I calmed down and relaxed a whole lot once I got home.

The Post

It’s late morning and already I am having a strange day. I started out strong. I got up, got ready, even vacuumed and mopped the first floor before I left. I left the house feeling confident and strong in the day ahead. After all, I managed all of that this morning and a bit of chill time and I was still on the road by 0800.

However, the day is beginning as a bust. I have only had 2 offers so far. They were the same offer twice. The fares have been less than desired for the drive. The first time it wasn’t even a thought. The second time I gave it quite a bit of thought. It doesn’t seem like it will come back again but if it does and if it goes up by another $2, I will take it.

I need a really strong day today. At least as good as yesterday. Even that won’t set me right financially, but it would ease the pain quite a bit.

If I weren’t focusing so hard o. Just trying to remain I. Faith, I would be very panicked and upset right now. The situation is probably the worst it has been these 6+ months and it is not getting any better. Actually, it seems – despite my efforts – it is only getting worse. Today is the perfect example. I have now been out for work for 2 hours and I have only made $4.30. On a Sunday breakfast!!!

This is not chance. Nor is it just a run of bad luck. Something like this is some power in The Universe fuckin’ with me. Now, when I say “fuckin” I do not mean that it is meant maliciously or to bring harm. It is merely meant to bring my focus to something. Now I just have to figure out what. [I am literally looking at me sitting in a hot zone for orders on the one app and I’m not getting a single offer.)

Perhaps it is an issue of Faith. The situation is bad. I won’t know exactly how bad until Tuesday night. I’m calculating that worst case scenario I will end Tuesday almost a full rent payment in the negative. They will get their money. I will just be in the hole. If that happens, I don’t think I will ever get out of it. I am at a loss and I feel it will take Divine intervention. I’m not asking for any big miracles [but I wouldn’t turn it down either] I just am asking for strong work days. That’s it. I just want days I can work with. No big magicks. [Though to be fair, I am low-key hoping for a miracle.]

It’s odd too because I find reassurance in the strangest places. Such as Thursday. On Thursday, I had to take The Rocket in for the catalytic converter. That whole process took way longer than I expected. I missed all of breakfast. Plus, I had to be at The Theatre at 1900 for preview night. And, yes, Fellow Travelers, I did need to be there. I’m not sure why. I only know there was serious magick in the air. I’m pretty sure I was still feeling it yesterday morning.

Anyway, with all of the interferences I was fighting to keep from paying a 2nd overdraft fee this week. When I logged out for the day, it looked like I was just 19 cents short. When all of my tips and fares were calculated an hour later, I ended up being $1+ over. I took that as a good sign. The Universe was with me. I mean, it wasn’t a great day but the day was great for what it was. In fact, one might say it was perfect.

Friday went in the opposite direction. I had to return to The Mechanic to run the emissions test. Again, this took longer than I had expected. Then I spent the day fighting with one of my apps. It would just randomly turn itself off without warning. I’d go online and fifteen minutes later I’d look and be logged off. This happened all day and into yesterday morning. Eventually I called support and they had me delete the app and reinstall. I think I barely made half of what I really needed to on Friday. [I also got hit with 2 overdraft fees on Friday.]

Yesterday was better. I made $30 over my original Goal. I also had an extremely productive day. Honestly, I wish every day could be as strong as yesterday. I made the money I wanted to make and then some. I also got the garden boxes done, filled and the plants planted. I did a load of laundry. Caught up on dishes and tidying the house. I even cleaned the first floor. I also got some painting done on the next garden project.

Again, I took this as an indication that things might be on an upswing.

Then I had today. [It’s evening now, by the way.] Today was a struggle. Breakfast was almost nothing. I wondered earlier, as I mentioned, if maybe the challenges weren’t trying to bring me to my Faith. But, I also wonder if they weren’t trying to get me to this writing.

Once again, the day looked like it was picking up and was showing potential. I did come home for a quick rest. I needed to. I was having trouble keeping my eyes open and it only took me moments to pass out. All in all, I was home for about an hour and then went back out, despite the torrential rains.

I had issues along the way. Things were going…but not smoothly. It all started pretty good. Then the rains got heavier. Traffic slowed. Visibility diminished and the roads began to flood. I tried not to let this discourage me. What discouraged me was the $43 fare that I missed while walking an order to a customer’s door. That sort of broke me. That order would have made my night and I would have still had some time to work some more. Instead, I got stuck with smaller fares, longer drives and a lot of frustrations.

I kinda lost my shit. I continued to drive, but I was pissed. I bitched and moaned to G-d for quite some time. Eventually, the rain was just getting to me. It was adding to the frustrations. I did what I could and called it a night.

Oddly, I am thinking that was kind of the point. Everything Happens for a Reason – Precise & Perfectly Placed. The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways.

I did eventually calm myself down and readjust after I got home. All I can do now is take it day by day and hope for the best. Though, I can’t imagine how I get out of this mess without some Divine Intervention.

I have been asked to try a different approach. It’s not one that I care for at all. I am trying to be open to things lately, so I am accepting it and have been doing my best to follow through. But, something about it just doesn’t feel right to me. I don’t want to say more on it now. Not until I see how things play out. Then I can comment. Who knows, this experiment may change my perspective of things.

In the meantime, I am just trying to keep on keeping on. I hit the road every day. I keep myself busy at home. I have more writings and videos I am working on. And, for you, here is what I wrote on Wednesday.

Wednesday, July 5, 2023; 2116

I felt like I wanted to capture the past few days before they are suddenly Once Upon Ago. I feel like there were significant points left from Sunday, but that has already become Once Upon Ago.

So, I started this week in quite a mess [financially] and I am not sure it has improved at all. I’m honestly not sure when, or even if, it will. The holiday did not help this at all. However, what I have lacked in monetary abundance over the past few days, I have certainly made up for in moments.

Monday was the Full Moon. I did not know it when the day began, but I needed to purge. I have been going through a lot of shifts lately. Internally – and that is a good place to start. I don’t want to say too much about those shifts at the moment because I do not completely understand them. nor do I know yet if they have taken a permanent hold.

The morning of Monday is kind of Once upon Ago. I feel as though I did not go out right away or real early to drive. But, I cannot for the life of me tell you if that is so, or what I would have done with the time. I do know, though, that there was a Safety Meeting.

I got a random text from The Professor at some point over lunch. I know I was having a good day – strong financially. That is why I decided it wouldn’t hurt to swing by just for one. I had every intention of sticking to this. However, as we sat there having just that one, they reported 4 different accidents at major points. That kind of news typically means I don’t work. When they close highways anytime of day, but in particular at a rush hour, traffic all over The Valley begins to back up and it becomes counterproductive.

So, I stayed for more than one. [And yes, I did investigate the backups through a traffic app before making that decision.] From there, I came home and decided to continue on my alcoholic journey. I just felt inspired to get a good drunk on. It’s been a long time.

There is video of the night and that is all I will say on that…mostly because that is all I can remember of that.

I slept in The MattCave Monday night. I found it foolish to try to walk the steps when there was a perfectly good couch right in front of me. Somewhere in the night I found myself racing up the steps, choking back my own vomit in an attempt to not lose any before getting to the toilet.

Now you may wonder, fellow Travelers, how I can see all of this as a good thing. I learned a long time ago that a sick like that – whether it be a drunken one or even the flu – purges the bodies of all their toxins. It is the perfect cleanse.

And, as I said, it was perfectly timed. With all of the shifts I have been experiencing, it only makes sense that it was time to push it all out.

I got up Tuesday morning but I did not rush out the door. I never had any intention of that, what with the holiday. That worked to my advantage. I was able to nurse my hangover quite a bit and I even fit in my Full Moon soak before I left work. This not only helped me recover from the hangover, but it finished what The Purge had begun.

I was having an OK day on Tuesday, but it, too, got side-swiped.

I had a wasp in the sunporch [Herein known as The Observatory – which I may have already said once.] So, I messaged Big ‘D’ to see if there was a spare can I could borrow in case I needed it. She didn’t have any but I stopped by after lunch to double check. We got to talking and talked for quite a while.

I had learned that Boom-Dee-Aye was at a picnic, but Big ‘D’ couldn’t do the heat of the day so she stayed home. I told her I was heading back to the house for a bit if she didn’t want to be alone she could come up. She did want to stay home but invited me back for hot dogs later. So I came home, took my rest and eventually made my way back to Olde Geistopia for dinner.

Again, you may wonder how, in my current state of Geistopia, could I find any of this to be good? I needed money but I wasn’t out on the road. Well, my relationship with Big ‘D’ has been on the mend and I think this was an important step in that.

For instance, at one point, I was talking about my situation and how frustrated and defeated I am feeling. And she said, “Well, Matt, I am proud of you.” I think this is the first time in my life that my mother has ever spoken these words to me.

It means something to have heard it. It does. I’m glad she recognizes that I have been working hard at making this work – despite all my challenges. Yet, at the same time, I felt a slight twinge of Ego that didn’t seem to care. There have been many opportunities in my life for her to be proud of me. I have accomplished many things against a lot of odds. I fought through this life…to this life. But she missed all of that because of the wedge between us.

I’m not upset about it. I acknowledged that moment of ego and let it slide.

Through other parts of the conversation I realized that I am holding on to a lot of programming from my life in Olde Geistopia. For instance, I am always so afraid that I am going to lose my home here. This was forever a Theme with Big ‘D.’ It even surfaced during our conversation on Tuesday. I cannot tell you how many times in my life she, in a panicked financial state, would jump right to, “We’re gonna lose the house.”

It was always one of her greatest fears because the house was one of her greatest accomplishments. My life is a mirror of that. This home is my greatest accomplishment yet and I am just so afraid of losing it…of not being worthy of it.

All of this has helped me readjust my perspective and perception. I am choosing ignorance in my finances at the moment because the focus did nothing but put enormous stress on me. Besides, there is nothing more that I can do other than what I would be doing in the first place. All I can do is go out and work as much as I can – accounting for interferences, because I have learned they are par for the course. I have fought against them for months and I don’t win the fight.

Beyond that I can only spend the money I must spend – no more and no less.

I have to trust that G-d has this. The past three days were way to perfect to not be Divine. Things are happening.

If today was any indication then I should be fine…eventually. I had a very strong day today. It was never going to be as much as I truly needed. But it was more than I was counting on. In fact, it is one of the top days of my “career.”

Tomorrow morning I go to get The Rocket’s inspection completed. I am not looking forward to the bill and payments that will follow. However, I am somewhat excited to have a vehicle that should be working a little better. Also, rumor has it that this repair will help with gas mileage so I am interested in seeing how that shifts.

Unfortunately, this means not going out until after the garage work is done. It is what it is. I am going to take advantage of that time to get The Rocket cleaned and washed. This will help me say in my routine and on cycle. Last night, after the hot dogs, I came home and mowed the lawn. I wanted it done before it got too long and I wanted to do it before Wilson came over to do it again. I didn’t know when I would have another chance.

Next, I need to work housecleaning back into the system.

After the garage I will work the day. But, tomorrow night is preview night at The Theatre and I already know it is where I must be.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**

Ant - Industriousness, Order, and Discipline

Symbol of work and industry. Wisdom and intellect in their endeavors is often acclaimed. Social. Community activity. Gathering, hunting, growing. May find that the cycle of industriousness and building of goals may increase over a period of twelve years. Cycle of twelve - days, months, years - will be of significance. Teacher of how to build, how to be the architect of your own life. Show you how to construct our dreams into a reality. Greatest success occurs with persistence. Examine your own industriousness. Are you disciplining yourself enough to accomplish the tasks at hand? Are you or those around you looking for the quick and easy way? Are you neglecting important activities? Are you laying a good foundation? Are you adding new structures to your life with each passing year in some fashion - education, jobs, hobbies, etc? Are you being patient with your efforts? Are you being patient with yourself? With others? Are you making things greater and more difficult than they need to be? Are you missing the opportunity to initiate new creativity and endeavors? Can teach how to harness your own power to design and recreate your life. Can show you how best to work with others for the good of everyone. Regardless of circumstances, if the effort is true, the rewards will follow - in the most beneficial time and manner. The promise of success through effort.

Cardinal - Renewed Vitality through Recognizing Self-Importance

They remind us that, regardless of the time of day or year, we always have the opportunity to renew our own vitality and recognize our own life roles. Whistles are often reminders to listen closely - to pay attention to what is blowing on the winds. Reflects that we should be listening to the inner voice (the feminine) more closely for our own health and well-being. Almost always reflects a need to assert the feminine aspects of creativity and intuition more strongly. Can reflect a need to b more careful about your diet, that what you are eating may be injurious to yourself and affecting your overall vitality. Reflects the rhythm of 12 that is going to become more predominant within your own life. Reflects lessons associated with responsibility and the recognition of the task at hand. May reflect past-life connections with the church, or even a reviving of more traditional religious beliefs, regardless of denomination. Remind us to add color to our lives, and remember that everything is of importance.

Deer – Gentleness and Innocence – Gentle Luring to New Adventures

They have been able to adapt to every sort of habitat. Buddha is often pictured with a deer. Antlers are symbols of antennae, connections to higher forms of attunement. Look for new perceptions and degrees of perceptions to expand for as much as the next five years. Can indicate that there will be opportunities to stimulate gentle new growth increasingly over the next few years. Leads us back to the primal wisdom. A deer’s senses are very acute. Find increasing ability to detect subtle movements and appearances. Begin to hear what may not be said directly. Time to be gentle with yourself and others. A new innocence and freshness is about to be awakened or born. There is going to be a gentle, enticing lure of new adventures. Are you trying to force things? Are others? Are you being too critical and uncaring of yourself? An opportunity to express gentle love that will open new doors to adventure for you.

Dragonfly – The Power of Light

Inhabit two realms – water and air. The significance of these should be studied. There must be expressions of the emotional and the mental together. You may need some fresh air in regards to something emotional. You may need to gain new perspective or make a change. May even indicate that you are neglecting your emotions. Are you being too rational about everything? Are you not keeping the colors of emotion alive?

Hawk - Visionary Power and Guardianship.

Messengers, protectors and visionaries. Visionary power and leading you to your life purpose. There is a message coming. What you eat, you become. Kundalini. Childhood visions are becoming empowered and fulfilled. The ability to soar and glide upon the currents. Great Heights while still keeping your feet on the ground. Attacks by people who won’t understand you - attack your ability to soar. Teaching of higher expression of psychosis and vision. Beauty and harmony in moderation. Lead you to using your creative energy in manifesting your soul purpose. Hope and new ideas. A need to be open to the new or shows ways that you may help teach others to be open to the new. Be observant. Life is sending signals. Careful in expression. Comments and actions will be strong and powerful with the ability to tear and/or kill.

Hummingbird – Tireless Joy and the Nectar of Life

Humming is an internal massage, restoring health and balance. Reminds us to find the joy in what we do and to sing it out. 300 species of hummingbird. Hebrew letter Shin has numerical value of 300 – associations with fire and relationships, the past and future. Moves its wings in a figure 8 pattern – infinity and links to past and future, the laws of cause and effect. How to use flowers for healing. If we truly enjoy what we are doing we become light as a feather and life is rich with nectar. Find the joy and sweetness in any situation. Grab joy while you can – as quickly as you can. Faerie Real. Getting enough sweetness? Savoring the sweet things of life? Fiercely independent. Freedom. Lays 2 eggs – number of the inner self, the feminine to which we must give birth and expression to find our own joy. Master Architects. Redecorate. Create joy in the home. Get regular deep sleep and rest. A symbol for accomplishing that which seems impossible. Teach you how to find the miracle of joyful living from your own life circumstances.

Ladybug - (worldbirds.org)

The main meaning of ladybugs centers around good fortune, true love, innocence, needing to make the right choices in life, happy resolutions, etc. So what does it mean to see a ladybug?

When you encounter the ladybug spirit animal at any point, you can be sure that positive transformations are on the way.

You can trust this humble creature to brighten even the gloomiest of days and brighten your outlook on life should you come across it. The symbolism represents the time of the fruition of your dreams and wishes.

Understanding the symbolism meaning helps you understand how reaching newer heights and higher goals are possible. In due course, with the right approach and positive changes, your efforts and desires will come to pass if you follow the true preaching of the ladybug symbolism.

What do ladybugs mean when they cross paths with you or visit your homes? You could take it as a sign to halt a bit in life, perhaps, if you have been going too fast to achieve your dreams.

Sometimes, we need not to try overly hard but wait in faith for things to come around. Sometimes, there is success in being patient and the ladybug cautions to be just that. In time, your worries will dissipate and new happiness will set in.

Rabbit - Fertility and New Life

Often seen as an animal that can lead one unknowingly into the Faerie realm. A symbol for sexuality and fertility. Usually, you will begin to see a cycle of 28 days beginning to manifest in your life. Those with rabbit totems will see movement occur in their life in varying degrees of hops and leaps. It won’t be steady step-by-step movement. The leaps and hops do not usually take more than the cycle of The Moon (28 days) to occur. Plan for possibilities. May indicate the need to do some more planning or review those you have already set in motion. You do not want to box yourself into a corner. Important not to foreshadow your moves. Learning to shift from freezing to great speeds will aid in your success and enables you to take advantage of opportunities that may present themselves for brief moments. May need to examine the kinds of food being consumed. For the greatest health and well-being, a vegetarian diet, even if only temporary, will strengthen and heal. How to recognize the tides of movement within your life. This in turn will enable you to become even more fertile in your life.

Robin – Spread of New Growth

You can expect new growth to occur in a variety of areas of your life – not just one. Connected to the Kundalini. Reflects its activation in a manner that will stimulate new growth in all areas of your life. Fights over territory are usually in song. Physical confrontations are more symbolic without injury. Reflects a need to sing your own song forth if you wish new growth. Any confrontations or hindrances are more show than actual threats, so go forward. Powder-blue egg. A color that is often used to open the throat chakra in humans. Reflects the innate ability of those with this totem to assert the will force to create new growth in his/her life. Help you in this process. May reflect you have been doing so inappropriately or ineffectually. Robin will show you how to do it successfully.

Vulture - Purification - Death and Rebirth - New Vision.

A guardian to the mysteries of life and death and the road of salvation. A coming time when you will be noticed more for what you do than how you appear. You will probably start to see auras and energies around people and things. Distributing one’s energy so that gravity does not weigh and hold one down - be it the actual gravity of the earth or the gravity of mundane situations and experiences. Associated with higher forms of discrimination. Assist you in developing your own sense of ‘smell’ that you can use effectively in all areas of your life. Aromatherapy. Changes in the digestive system. Pay attention to how you feel physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually after eating various foods. Acting rather than talking. May take as much as three months before an individual begins to truly move past the death stage to rebirth. A promise that the suffering of the immediate was temporary and necessary for a higher purpose was at work. Reflects that no matter how difficult the life conditions, rescue is imminent in your life.

Wren – Resourcefulness and Boldness

If Wren has come into your life it is time to ask yourself some questions. Are you using the resources available to you? Are others? Are you not displaying enough confidence? Are you so wrapped up in daily worries that you are forgetting to sing? Are you not staying grounded? Are you not seeing the forest because of the trees? Are you not attacking your life with enough gusto? Wren holds the medicine for using what is available, and it can teach you the most effective ways for building within your own environment.

Wasp – [from spirit-animals.com]

Thinking about your dreams will not make them a reality as quickly as going out and doing it. Make a plan. Goals require perseverance, desire, and action. Apply your passion to the reality you wish to achieve. Resistance to change is self-sabotage by definition. Time to allow yourself the notion that all things are possible and that you deserve to live the life you want. Be the best you can be.