S12EP8: Yuletide Quest - The Chasm of Time

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true! 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is a Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

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The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

 Looch

BJ & The Bull

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

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Zason

St. Diane & You (4)

Brother John & Sister Jen

The Bee Man

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

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PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, December 31, Two-Thousand and Twenty-Free. Time...Resetting

Theme – Keep On Keeping On

Every week seems to bring its challenges. This week in particular seemed to bring them every day. If I have learned anything this week it is that you can’t let things stop you. They may slow you down, but you just have to keep on and make the most of any given situation.

Lesson – Patience and Focus

Again, with so many challenges over this past week, I have been struggling. It has been a test of patience at times and it has taken a lot of focus to keep from crumbling under the pressure.

Observation – The Duality of it All

I’m bring brief in my summaries of The Trinity this week. However, with this one I do want to give some sort of an example. I talk a lot about Principles. I think they are useful. I mean, we all use them – some personal variation. But sometimes they can come into conflict with each other. I have some friends working on an advancement in their lives. They have come to a place with two choices. They have been courting both trying to figure out which way to go. Now, I have my vibe on what I think they should do but it is just my vibe. It is always their choice. As I have mulled it over I realized that one Principle is Follow the Path of Least Resistance. From what I can gauge, this would put them in one place. However, sometimes, The Greatest Treasures are Guarded by the Fiercest Beasts. Sometimes, it’s not easy. Sometimes it is scary and dangerous. Sometimes you have to work and fight for what you want. It is the Universe’s way of making sure you actually want it. This notion would put them in the other place. I wonder then how these two seemingly opposing Principles reconcile with each other.

The Post

Tuesday, December 26, 2023; 1240

So, Christmas has come and gone.

I won’t say much about it here. [I think there is supplemental post in the works.] I will say that Christmas Eve was a success and Christmas Day was full of rest.

We are into the new week now and it is off to an interesting start. I am caught up on my payments. I mean for last week. I’m not starting the week in a negative or even with a pending negative. In fact, I even had Just Enough to cover the one expense from today.

I am not out on the road because The Rocket went to The Mechanic. Apparently, I won’t do any real damage to the car driving without power steering but they were able to take it and take a look at it today.

So, I am using the day to continue relaxing and catching up on some miscellaneous things. I’m also starting to budget and plan ahead.

The week ahead seems more of a Void than in years past. Yule is only half over, yet I feel content in it. The magicks have been intense and, as I said, I am already starting to work on the year ahead. [That almost never happens during this week.]

I’m so very curious.

1832

It’s been a day. In a good way.

Let’s start with The rocket. I got it down to The Mechanic and they had it all day. In fact, we are picking it up in the morning. I don’t yet know what they did to it, if anything. Apparently, the Power Sterring didn’t act up once. This is so very curious to me because all I did was fight it on the way down there.

I’ve had a very chill day. I’m thinking that was the point actually. When things like the power steering happen to me there is always a reason. I was meant to struggle over the weekend and I was meant to take today off. Why? I don’t know.

I made the most of today though.

·         I got all caught up on my main administrative stuff – mail, finances, hours, miles, budgets.

·         I “fixed” the vacuum. It was second hand and apparently came to us very clogged.

·         I got last week’s blog up and started this one. I have one more writing for tonight.

·         I did a mini session on Cuddlebug. [Always such a curious time.]

·         I did my cat sitting duties.

·         I emptied the dishwasher.

·         I started making note of upcoming tasks and projects – finding solutions to problems, such as the pots/pans clusterfuck in the cabinet.

·         I have done all of my devotions.

·         I had a meditation

·         I even had plenty of ‘game’ time.

I anticipate that the next few weeks could be difficult financially. I have to get caught up on the rent. I split last week’s payment so I owe this week plus half. Having today off makes that all very challenging. Once I get over that hump, there will still be challenges, but I may be able to smooth things out.

I have lots of little projects around Geistopia – pots and pans as I said, reorganizing, tweaking, putting away Xmas.

I have WTML stuff to work at. I have a host of scripts in my head but I just haven’t taken time to try to write them out. I also want to revamp the blog site. Things just aren’t right and I need to take the time to set them straight. For instance, I noticed today that none of my formatting carries over to the actual website. I have to figure out how to get around that.

Overall, I feel shockingly confident moving towards the new year. Yule is still 7 days from being over and who knows what magicks can develop between now and then.

Wednesday, December 27, 2023; 0722

I don’t know how much time I have to write this morning. But, I am trying to keep on pace with the format that has been established.

As I said at the end of yesterday, I feel shockingly good – all things considered. I’ve also noticed that it seems oddly like the New Year. I realize it is just around the corner, but I mean the vibe of it all. It feels as though my new year has already started. That is how my spirit is feeling. That is how my mind is functioning. I feel now the way I usually do at the end of Yule. But Yule is not over yet.

I’ve been in revelry the past few days at just how far The Homestead has come in just a year. Christmas in Nu Geistopia looked very different this year than it did last year. Everything has come along away – even finances.

It doesn’t always seem as though my finances have improved any, certainly not at the moment. But when I think of how I started the year and look at how I am ending it, there have been a lot of shifts and changes and things are still balancing out.

Yule is not over and I suspect there will still be some magicks. But, since I have no particular plans or schemes of my own, all I can do is dope along and see what happens.

The only other noteworthy thing this morning is that I opened a letter from Domestic relations this morning. I have to go to court for child support. I am behind a month or two. Apparently this case worker doesn’t mess around. That is on January 9. [Oddly, I think that is the first day I had scheduled myself off in the new year.] All I can do is see how things go.

Thursday, December 28, 2023; 0543

Again, I don’t know how much time I can take to write. I’m feeling a lil behind this morning, plus, if I’m writing, I have a supplemental writing to finish.

So, my “court” thing was a little over-reactionary. It is a conference. My eyes just happen to catch all of the big scary words at a first glance. However, it is not in the week that I scheduled a day off and it is a week when I need to make a lot of money. sigh

I had a decent day yesterday, but came up just under $30 short of what I was budgeting. That’s not terrible but I can’t really make it up either. I am going to see if I can get through the week without hitting the grocery store and maybe even the smoke shop. That will lower my budget quite a bit.

I was driving yesterday and at one of my stops I noticed I had no head lights. [Or taillights for that matter.] long story short, we have determined there is a problem with the switch. If you run the auto lights off and then try to turn on the headlights they won’t work. But if you turn them on and then turn on the headlights they will work and they will continue to work on the auto setting.

As long as I have lights and can drive.

I’m feeling very off this morning. I’m stressed but not really. I don’t know. Maybe I’m getting a bit sick. I feel heavy and worn and sad. I don’t know why. deep breath

I’ve said before and I will probably say every day – Yule isn’t over yet. It feels like it is. There is no indication of lingering magicks. But it is not over. I do feel as though there is still something waiting, but I cannot imagine what. Nor, can I spend my energies wondering. So, I just move on through my days.

Speaking of which, I need to get my day together now. [And oddly, I’m suddenly feeling just a bit better.]

1600

Oh these days.

I’m home early. sigh

The lights were on and off again all day. So, if nothing else I needed to be home before the darkness set in. I can’t risk them going off in the dark. When there are no headlights, there are no taillights either.

If the lights weren’t frustrating enough – the power steering went out for 2 minutes this morning, the check engine light came back on and The rocket started its sputtering once more, and the Service Traction warning came on.

Ugh!

An, on top of all of that, one of the major side roads [I call it that because it isn’t a major roadway but it is heavily traveled] is closed due to flooding. All of that traffic was re-routed through one lone traffic light at a major intersection. Traveling about was difficult.

My nerves had enough.

But, as with all days such as this one, I can’t help but think there is a higher purpose – a reason to be at home and off the road.

Random thing – today I was thinking about the accident last February. I already believe that the accident was part of the path to getting to The Homestead. But today I was thinking about how I was at The Nest when the accident happened. It took me 3-4 months to get The Rocket. If I hadn’t had The Nest, where would I have lived all that time?

The Universe is always working ahead of us.

I’m feeling a lil more relaxed now. I want to continue my Supplemental writing and I want to get into the Spirit Room for some good meditation. These are my two primary Goals for the night.

Friday, December 29, 2023; 0457

Ugh.

LOL.

I feel good this morning. I feel very good. In fact, I almost feel “too good.” I’m not sure what exactly plays into it. Perhaps it was last night’s meditation, brief as it was. Maybe it was the way I set my alarm super early and just ‘snoozed’ over and over again until I was finally awake.

Maybe it is the fact that I have been following up on my Yule list. I had one particular assignment. One in which I truly had no interest. I had the assignment as far back as Thanksgiving and I even made a couple of attempts along the way. The assignment was some Christmas Karaoke. I do hate when Spirit asks me to share my singing. I love to sing. I sing every day. But, I hate singing for people. [It’s a whole Mr. Tanner complex.] Nonetheless, one night I happen to catch a good run of songs. So, since the beginning of Yule, I have been sharing them – one a day. [Well, except for that brief period in the beginning when I shared one and tries to convince myself that was enough and then 3 days later I had to get caught up.]

Or, perhaps, this morning I just have a slight touch of the Holy Spirit.

Whatever it is, I am just bouncing off the walls and ready to go. That’s a good thing. For weeks, I have been dragging in the morning. I’ve had a difficult time getting myself moving. However, I still have time before I can get out on the road.

Now, yesterday, I had trouble with the lights again. They were on when I left the house and within and order or two they were off. All day long, off and on. I even stopped by The Mechanic’s twice to just touch base with it. I went in the morning when it first started to happen – just to let him know it was going on again and so he could see it in action. Of course, by the time I got there, they were back on.

I stopped later in the day when the lights were acting up again – but so were all sorts of other systems. Once in the morning the power steering went back out, but only for a few minutes. Then later in the day the Service Traction indicator came on again.

Unfortunately, with the lights acting up, I couldn’t risk doing deliveries once the sun went down and so I was home very early in the day. [I may have actually covered this yesterday when I got home, now that I am thinking on it. Sorry for the repeat.]

Anyway, I did get my Yule Supplemental finished and posted. I suppose, to increase the chances of people seeing it and reading it, I will share it on Facebook every day until the end of Yule now. I liked it, but I was uncertain. So, I had Belle read it and give me her thoughts. She gave it a thumbs up.

Of course, the writing took me some time. It always does. Not only do I have to sort through my thoughts just a bit at a time, but, also, I have such difficulty just sitting and focusing on something for long periods of time. I always have to take a few moments of distraction here and there. [Last night it was Microsoft Jigsaw puzzles.]

I continued to follow through on my Karaoke postings. They are being well received. Doesn’t change the fact that I hate sharing them and get a knot in my stomach every time I do.

Eventually, I did get around to mediation. As I said, it was very brief. Still, it was long enough to have accomplished something. First, I have come to the conclusion that I must do more of that. I don’t know when I make the time for it exactly, but it is something I must do more frequently. I use to meditate often. Now I have a space dedicated to such things and I don’t make the time. Second, I just had such an incredible experience. It seems, anymore, when I do my spirit work, I can feel and see my own spirit expanding into the universe – becoming larger, connecting. It is such a beautiful experience.

I have two more things to mention this morning, but I am not sure in which order I should. They relate – and also seem to go against each other.

I was hoping to close out this year at a $0 balance. If I could acoomplish that it would feel like there was some improvementin my life over the past year. When 2023 began, I was -$160 [and I lost the first two work days of the year due to illness.] So, I figured if I could at least break even by the end of the year, I would have made some progress.

For awhile that seemed perfectly reasonable and reachable. But this week has shifted all of that. Monday was a holiday. Tuesday The Rocket was in the shop all day. Wednesday was OK. Thursday I lost time due to the lights.

I have 3 days left and I don’t even know how much money I need to make.

But then, I turn around do things such as these:

I make no secret of it that I smoke CBD. [And I’d smoke stronger if I could get it.] Nonetheless, it helps me. So, for the past few weeks, every time I get low or run out, I tell myself that I can take a lil break. I can save myself that little bit of money and go without.

Apparently…I cannot.

I had none yesterday morning. Only some scrapings to get me by. By quitting time yesterday, I found myself to be so very stressed and uptight. I decided to stop and get some CBD.

It helped.

So, is this a choice I should feel bad about or regret? I don’t know. I mean, I’m fighting a financial battle and here I am spending a bit of money on such things. But, it helps. People take all sorts of pharmaceuticals for their nerves and their mind and their anger issues and lord knows what else. I smoke a lil flower.

While I was at the smoke shop, I asked about a special PA Lottery game. Every year the lottery does this Millionaire Raffle. I may have played once in my life because the tickets are $20. Now, they rn this thing for like six weeks or something like that. One drawing a week and then the final week has extra drawings. At this point, there is one more drawing and then next week the final round.

When I was out with Ace a few weeks ago, he mentioned it. He said if I was going to play that I might do better with that then say the Powerball because ticket sales are limited. So, I have been thinking about it for weeks but never felt I had $20 to spend.

With my finances and my week being how they have been, I am have once again been stuck in that Void between hopefulness and desperation. Yule is not over and I feel like there is more to receive. I feel like, financially, things balance out. So, I decided to at least ask if tickets were still available. Then I figured I’d decide today or tomorrow what I wanted to do.

However, there was a glitch in my plan. The only way for the clerk to know if there were tickets available was to try and print one. If it printed they were available. But, then, it needed to be bought as well.

I went for it.

Now, I don’t really have the budget for either of these things this week. But, I do have $75 budgeted for groceries that I am not going to spend. I have whittled that list down to only the absolute necessities for the moment and I think the total comes out to like $20.

So, even with the two other purchases, I still bring that portion of my budget in just slightly under.

Well, that is all for now. I really must get moving – Devotions, Rituals, pack lunch and coffee, shower and shave…and get out the door as quickly as possible.

2303

Well, I’m awake – which wasn’t the plan – so I might as well write.

[Sorry. Stopped for a moment. I decided it was time to vacuum the floors. We have a better vacuum in our possession now and I wanted to see how it worked and how long it actually takes to do the main floors. ADD at its best, Fellow Travelers.]

Anyway, my day wasn’t terrible. I don’t know yet if I can say it was good, but it definitely wasn’t terrible.

Originally, I was hoping to get out by 0700. I made it by 0730. I took my first offer by 0742 and drove pretty solid until about 1003. I snuck in one of my little rests and then drove again from about 1045 until 1400. It was all fairly strong financially. I mean, I can always have it be better, but this was pretty good.

At 1400 I took The Rocket over to The Mechanic. The lights are now working. He changed out the switch.

WALT: He switched the switch.

Yes.  shakes head

I got back out on the road for dinner. I was home a little earlier than I would have thought, but mostly by circumstance. I had had some pretty good offers up until that point. Then things seemed to be slowing down. The last gig I did take dropped me 5 minutes from The Homestead. I may have been able to squeeze a little more out of dinner but it would have taken me about 15 minutes to get back to a good spot and, honestly, by that time the rush would be over. I can only assume it was meant to be.

I came home to find the kids weren’t here. Nor have they been all night. I am guessing they are spending the night at Mama Rabbit’s. There was mention that Cuddlebug was “probably” going there today. I didn’t know it was an overnight thing. It’s not so much that I need to know what they’re doing, but it would have been nice to know that they weren’t planning on coming home.

I’m a dad.

I worry.

Nonetheless, I played a little game to unwind when I first got home. I always do but not for long. Maybe 30 minutes. Then I unloaded the car, did my devotion and grabbed a small dinner. This is the other reason I was willing to come home when I did. I was hungry. That has been happening a lot lately. I just seem to be hungry all day. Or, at the very least, I seem to be eating all day. I eat everything I pack by the end of lunch usually and that was not always the case. There have been days when I came home with both of my sandwiches plus some snacks.

Now I just eat that shit right up. But it doesn’t seem to be satisfying me – only sustaining me. So, very often before dinner even starts I am feeling hungry for some food and of course I can’t stop to buy any.

I also started my daily administrative stuff. I wasn’t able to get through it all though. I suddenly found myself in need of laying down. I didn’t think I’d sleep. I just wanted to lay down and stop. I even took the TV into my room which I haven’t done in months now. However, I did fall asleep. More than once I think.

And now I am fairly wide awake.

I felt good all day [until after this evening’s sleep anyway.] I felt positive and upbeat and hopeful. I still feel as though it is all going to be OK. It all works out. And, somehow, in 2024 life gets just a lil bit better.

However, after my evening nap I was feeling almost a little depressed and I’m not sure why.

I still don’t know how I am handling my finances. I am very far from my Goal and not nearly enough time left to make it up. I will just have to make some choices on Sunday and then see how they play out.

Yule is not over.

I have been following through with my Yule instructions. Mostly, this has included karaoke videos, as I think I said before. I’m really not a fan of this task at all. I’ve been getting a lot of positive feedback but that does not change my dislike of the task at all.

The other major task was writing and posting a Christmas supplemental for the blog.

Once Upon a Christmas

I posted it yesterday and reposted it this morning. I finally read it this evening. Sometimes I wish I had more time to focus on writing so I could write something then go back and read it so I can tweak it and fine tune it. Still, there has been some positive feedback on that as well. One person even reached out and expressed how it really spoke to her. It was what she needed right now.

The Old Man always seems to know what he is doing.

Yule is not over.

Sunday, December 31, 2023; 0712

I’m tunning a little behind what I’d like to be, still I thought I should write now because I do not think I will have time later. Sunshine is coming up tonight and The Princesses, The Boy and I are spending New Year’s Eve together. [Still not sure how we are going to watch the ball drop.]

I have to work today. Tomorrow as well. I am behind and trying to catch up. I split last week’s rent with the intention of paying the second half along with this week’s. Unfortunately, at this point I will only have this week’s. I still need to figure out how to manage the rest. As usual, it will take some creative juggling. I will probably still be working for it on Tuesday.

Nonetheless…

This has been one intense and incredible year. Sometimes it seems as if it has been so much longer and sometimes it seems as if it has been so much shorter. I’m torn in how I feel. It’s hard to believe that I have [somehow] managed this for an entire year. It hasn’t been easy and it has been far from ideal. I’ve managed rent but many bills and such have suffered along the way. I thought by now I would have been able to balance things out and be a little more stable. Yet, it feels as though I haven’t made any progress at all.

I don’t want to downplay my accomplishments. I have managed this long [not without some help along the way.] But I have managed. My life is very different now than it was a year ago – The Homestead is very different.

The whole of my life seems to have shifted. Big ‘D’ is more a part of it these days. I have friends whom have become less a part of it.

My free time is running short this morning and I don’t really know what all to say.

One note is that yesterday I was reminded that though Yule ends tomorrow [plus my Day After] the energies and magicks linger until about January 6.

Beyond that, all I can say is that I am looking forward to 2024. Year 1 of the ‘3-Year Plan’ [which I know nothing about] has come and gone now. I have grown and I have [somewhat] healed. I have gotten back in touch with so many parts of myself.

To all I wish a very happy new year and an incredible year ahead.

As for me…I am just looking forward to …More.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC:  Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak

Hawk - Visionary Power and Guardianship.

Messengers, protectors and visionaries. Visionary power and leading you to your life purpose. There is a message coming. What you eat, you become. Kundalini. Childhood visions are becoming empowered and fulfilled. The ability to soar and glide upon the currents. Great Heights while still keeping your feet on the ground. Attacks by people who won’t understand you - attack your ability to soar. Teaching of higher expression of psychosis and vision. Beauty and harmony in moderation. Lead you to using your creative energy in manifesting your soul purpose. Hope and new ideas. A need to be open to the new or shows ways that you may help teach others to be open to the new. Be observant. Life is sending signals. Careful in expression. Comments and actions will be strong and powerful with the ability to tear and/or kill.