S11EP7: Enter The Abyss
- The Rev. Matt
- Sep 23, 2023
- 16 min read
Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.
DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true!
WALT: Welcome to my Life is a Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:
Princess Cuddlebug
Princess Sunshine
Company
The Shaman
The Pillar
F’n Bob
The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan
The Warden
FaeriePrincess
Professor Siggy Chong
Sparky Wentz-eclaus
The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)
The Messengers of The Galactic Federation
Looch
BJ & The Bull
Bert-On
The Baker of the Cornbread
Andy Pandy
The Mudder
Zason
St. Diane & You (4)
Brother John & Sister Jen
The Bee Man
Spooky Queen
Boom-Boom Snuffbox
The Nameless One
Tim-Bo
The Cousins
The Rox
PDT
Sir Richard Slouch
The Wix-ians
The Socialite
The Village of Idiots
Piz-Niffer
Dancing Queen
Downtown Encyclopedia Brown
Chicken Witch
Dick Pointer
Soup, the Son
The Legendary Pink Elephants
Baby-Mama Rabbit
Wisconsin Belle
The Babes
Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.
It is…Sunday, September 17, Two-Thousand and Twenty-Free. Time...???
Theme –Themes
This seems a rather odd thing, doesn’t it. Themes as the Theme But, that is what th week has been . I have just been spotting Themes throughout my life. Themes in relationships [of all kinds.] Themes in experiences. Even Themes in my faults, flaws and addictions. I’m finding connections between things [moments, events, feelings, thoughts] that I have never found before. At this point, it is all still just a fascination. For now, awareness is the key.
Lesson –There’s More to It
It doesn’t really matter to what you think I am referring – life, G-d, Science...whatever. There’s just more to it. No matter what we think we know – There’sMore to It. There’s more to the story. There’s more to the history. There’s more to the science of it all. There’s more to the Universe. There’s even more to The Bible. [any holy book really.] I can’t prove it of course. It has just been my overall experience that There is More to It than what we know.
Observation – Boredom is my Bane
No doubt, no doubt. All of my troubles boil down to boredom. My addictions. My distractions. My frequent job changes. Sometimes, even failed relationships. It all comes back to boredom. When I get bored, I get restless. I get antzy and anxious. I say this is one of the reasons I will have trouble not smoking in The Rocket. I get very bored during my driving time. Cigarettes, more often than not, become my distraction from that. Unfortunately, I get bored rather easily. Belle once commented that I need constant stimulation. I would have to concur. When I get bored, I wander. [Jobs and relationships.] Sometimes, it is my mind that wanders. This is why cigarettes have become such a tool. They act as a [very temporarty] distraction from the boredom. I don’t know what to do with this yet. I have been aware of it for a few weeks now. But, I still get bored. That will never change. I must find a way to convince my my mind and spirit that they are entertained and stimulated...even when they are not.
The Post
It is late. It is much later than I would like it to be. I am just now starting to write. I have scribbled a bit throughout the night, but mostly I have spent time and energy decompressing from not only my day, but the entire week.
It’s amusing to me. As I sit here typing away, I can read the notes I scribbled along the way throughout the week. For example:
Monday/Tuesday – good days. Finances. Things done.
I see that note and it seems very positive. However, I can’t tell you a thing about either one of those days.
Once Upon Ago.
Still, I know they happened because it’s Sunday. So, obviously, Monday and tuesday must have come and gone. And, from what I am reading above – They apparently went well.
Now, this week, I actually have an excuse [a reasoning] for Once Upon Ago. This week brough the New Moon and this one really messed with me. The truth is, I think I’m still feeling it. The New Moon was on Thursday. So, the energies began on Wednesday.
It didn’t take me long to put it together either. For the three hours of breakfast, I only had one delivery. Then it picked up just slightly for like an hour and by the end of lunch there was almost nothing going on. At that point, I was done. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Three hours is a long time to sit with nothing going on and I wasn’t about to do it for another three until dinner.
I knew I was in the New Moon cycle and the kids were going down to Mama’s for the evening. I thought maybe I would head home and try to get my soak in. I had contemplated skipping it. It’s not quite as vital [I thought] during the New Moon.
I had been feeling the moon all day though. I was in such a fog and a haze all morning. That feeling continued into my afternoon. I never did get into my soak. I just kind of sat and zoned for a long time. I was alert and aware. My mind was racing. But my body just would not move.
Eventually I did things. I did random things. I started or tweaked little projects. For example, I have been thinking about small shelves down in the storage part of the basement. I remembered that I have bracket shelving. I got the brackets and such hung. I cleaned up this and I touched up that.
I didn’t know how to rationalize the day. I kept in mind the moon phase. I did get some [random] things done. Still, I only made $29 that day. But, I got up on Thursday [The Day of] and somehow thought I was going to make a strong go of it.
I wanted to go visit Munchkin who was working the opening shift right up the street. Then I wanted to go to the metal yard and take care of cans. That all went according to plan and I was just about perfectly on schedule. I had realized that I left something back at the Homestead and though – for the slightest little moment – about coming back for it. I decided against it.
Just then Cuddlebug contacted me. She was wondering about The Boy getting to work at The Theatre. She had class, so was he going to get there? [We have since then determined the bus schedule.] Nonetheless, I ended up heading home anyway. I stayed, just killing time until it was time to get The Boy to work.
It didn’t seem like it was going to happen, but, in the end, Thursday turned out to be a pretty good day. At that point, it was my second highest day of the week. But, with the very late start, I was out on the road later than I would have liked to be in order to get in my soak.
Friday became a strange day. The lawn became a focus. We’ve been having lawn mower issues and I need to make time for serious maintenance. Nonetheless, we really needed to get it mowed – all at once. I shot a text to Wilson asking him if he would leave me the tire inflator so I could use the riding mower later that day.
So, I went off to work. I struggled through the day only because I was focused on making a certain amount of money but torn with when I needed to stop in order to get the lawn mowed. I set a time in my mind, as late as I could be comfortable with. It was getting closer and closer to that time. Things were a lil slower. Finally, I got an order that brought me up towards The Homestead. It was a bit earlier than I had set in my mind, but it made no sense to drive all the way back down to the main area for only a half hour or so of [possible] work only to turn around and drive back home.
I decided to come home and get the lawn done and then, finally and at last, my soak. Wilson did the lawn over the afternoon. [I filled the gas tank on the riding mower.] Needless to say, I took advantage of the opportunity to get my soak in.
I can’t really remember Saturday – Oh so Once Upon Ago. I know The Boy took the bus to The Theatre. I worked all day and picked him up at the end of the night. I went in a lil early and had a drink with Lil Boss. Chilled out.
My focus on the weekend was making a certain amount of money and as each day passed it seemed it was getting harder and harder to do.
Let’s step back in time to Wednesday for just a moment.
This week, the first insurance payment is due since Cuddlebug was put on my policy. Because of when we made the changes to the policy, the payment at that time was deferred and so this one was a double payment for both of us. I would love to say that I am paying her insurance for her. I just cannot. So, it was a rather large payment for her and she got it to me at the beginning of the week.
As I thought about my week ahead, I forged a plan. I did discuss it with her before I implemented it. You see, Fellow Travelers, over the past several weeks – especially when I was running negative balances – I got off pace with the timing of my rent payments. I have been thinking about trying to slowly move them back to where they were.
I saw in this week an opportunity to start that process. With Cuddlebug getting me the insurance money so early, I had the funds to pay rent. I just needed to generate the insurance money before the end of the day on Sunday. This seemed completely feasible in that moment. But as my week progressed the way that it did, I wasn’t so convinced anymore. The days had been strange. The pressure was on.
I started Sunday needing to make $172 just to cover my ass. I really did not know how this was going to happen. I knew it was possible, but once again I would be having a strange start to my day.
There was a breakfast event at The Meeting Place. It was the first one of the season and I really felt like I needed to go. I could go early enough and still hit the road in time for a decent breakfast rush. But, it was $10 and I thought how I could hold on to that cash and deposit it if I didn’t make my Goal.
I had the same thought about another $25 I had in cash. I wanted to get something. It wasn’t a necessity but I wanted it and it was available. Still, if I didn’t make this challenging Goal I could make use of it. I decided to go ahead with my plans as they were.
I did the breakfast but ended up bullshitting and getting out an hour and a half later than I had planned. Now I really didn’t know how this was going to happen. Still, I proceeded with my day.
It’s like The Universe was projecting and multiplying my frustrations into reality. The day started all right but it was slow. One order at a time. Smaller fares for slightly longer drives. All day long traffic was horrendous. Traffic lights seemed to be taking longer than usual. I really didn’t know how I was going to pull this day off.
Finally, just before dinner, things started to look more positive.
[Side note, I forgot to mention – Before I left The Homestead, I mentioned to myself outloud that I needed to make at least $10 in cash before Thursday to cover my entrance into the fair.]
I was much closer to what I needed than I thought I was going to get. I managed to get myself within like $2.93 of the Goal. I had just finished a double delivery that had brought me to this point and was on my way back to my main area. I got an offer for $7 something. But I didn’t really care for the drive itself. I figured I’d pass on it and wait for something more suitable. I only needed $2.93 and it was not even 1730 yet.
Only about a moment or so later I got another offer coming through on the same app. I looked at it and it was a double order paying over $21. The one I rejected was part of this. Needless to say, I took that offer and that is how I ended my day.
I somehow managed to make my money. Right at the last minute. If that’s not some sort of Life Lesson to carry forward I don’t know what is. Whenever life is stressed or strained, whenever I feel against a wall or at an impasse, I simply need to remember that if it is not the very last minute then it is not over and Anything is Possible.
In fact, I not only made the money I set out to make but I cleared just a bit extra on top of that. I mean I cleared that going into my account. In my day, I realized that I also have money sitting on my cash back app. It’s not much. Something like $15. But it’s there when I decide I need it. And in the meantime, until that decision is made, it will slowly continue to grow. I get gas every day. I use that app almost every single time.
Not only did I go over my Goal and have money on the app, but I also managed to make some cash delivering for The Two Sisters. In fact, I made exactly $10 – in two crisp and new $5 bills.
All in all, I covered my bills and that big insurance payment and still managed to clear my week with $43 in floating and available funds.
Again, there is a Lesson nestled in there somewhere.
Maybe a person really can ‘have it all.’
Something else happened at the end of the workday on Sunday. I was finishing off that first double delivery. The one that brought me so very close to home. I went to get out of The Rocket and the inside driver’ door handle broke off into my hand. I now had to open my window and open the door from the outside. Then put the window back up and shut off the car. That is what I had to do at the last two pick ups and deliveries.
It was quite a bit of misery.
If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.
Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.
So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…
WALT: And Walt…
DOC: Unt Doc…
JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…
And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…
WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.
The Totems & Archetypes
**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**
Blue Jay - Proper Use of Power
It can reflect lessons in using your own power properly. It can also reflect lessons in not allowing yourself to be placed in a position in which power is misused against you. It has the ability to link the heavens and the earth, to access each for greater power. This is a totem that can move between both and tap the primal energies at either level. Higher knowledge that can be used. The main problem will be dabbling in both worlds, rather than becoming a true master of both. Usually have a tremendous amount of ability, but it can be scattered or it is often not developed any more than is necessary to get by. Not unusual to find individuals with the Jay totem being dabblers - especially in the psychic and metaphysical fields. They know a little bit about a lot of things and they use that knowledge sometimes to give the impression that they know more. Wear the crown of true master ship requires dedication, responsibility, and committed development in all things in the physical and spiritual. A reminder to follow through on all things - to not start something and then leave it dangling. A time of greater resourcefulness and adaptability is about to unfold. Going to have ample opportunities to develop and use your abilities. Look for ample time to develop and use your energies to access new levels. Actually a member of the crow family, most crows have no fear. It is because of this the Jay can help you connect to the deepest mysteries of the earth and the greatest of the heavens. This sense of seeking pleasure - often at the expense of others - can reflect an imbalance. Sometimes jay shows up when this is happening in your own life. A tremendous ability for survival with the least amount of effort. They reflect great talent, but that talent must be developed and utilized properly. It indicates that you are moving into a time where you can develop your innate royalty that is within you, or simply be a pretender to the throne. It all depends on you.
Cricket –[from Spirit-animal.com]
Like the Ladybug and the Dragonfly, Cricket symbolism is a sign of exceptional luck. Furthermore, this spirit animal says that the things that you have been working toward and dreaming about are now possible. Therefore, Cricket meaning directs you to stay open to guidance and messages so that you will know what you have to do. You may be guided to buy a lottery ticket, interview for a new job, or be in the right place at the right time. In other words, Cricket symbolism is letting you know that all things are possible right now. All you have to do is feel that you deserve it! Similar to the Robin and the Whale, people with Cricket totem know how to sing their songs loud and clear! In other words, they love to use the power of their voice to attract what they want in life. These folks also have a gift for finding their way through awkward moments with panache and aplomb. People with this spirit animal are excellent communicators, love to walk their talk and are often vegetarian. In fact, like the Deer totem, they understand the power of music and will usually have a career that uses music as a form of healing.
Crow - The Secret Magic of Creation is Calling
Magic and creation are potentials very much alive during the day. Alchemy. Represents “ingredients,” the initial state of substance - unformed but full of potential. A reminder of what an happen if we are not looking for magic and creation every day. Magic and creation are ‘cawing’ out to us every day. Health, home and respect. Working with crows can help you to see how the winds are going to blow into your life and how to adjust your own life flights. Finding a dead crow was a sign of good luck. Wherever crows are there is magic. Symbols of creation and spiritual strength. Look for opportunities to create and manifest the magic of life. They are messengers calling to us about the magic that is alive within our world everyday and available to us.
Deer – Gentleness and Innocence – Gentle Luring to New Adventures
They have been able to adapt to every sort of habitat. Buddha is often pictured with a deer. Antlers are symbols of antennae, connections to higher forms of attunement. Look for new perceptions and degrees of perceptions to expand for as much as the next five years. Can indicate that there will be opportunities to stimulate gentle new growth increasingly over the next few years. Leads us back to the primal wisdom. A deer’s senses are very acute. Find increasing ability to detect subtle movements and appearances. Begin to hear what may not be said directly. Time to be gentle with yourself and others. A new innocence and freshness is about to be awakened or born. There is going to be a gentle, enticing lure of new adventures. Are you trying to force things? Are others? Are you being too critical and uncaring of yourself? An opportunity to express gentle love that will open new doors to adventure for you.
Flamingo [spirit-animals.com]– Flamingo symbolism is reminding you to get in touch with your emotions. It is a good idea to allow yourself to feel so that you can process your feelings. Furthermore, this spirit animal will enable you to grow through releasing issues. In other words, if you bottle things up, you will find yourself reacting rather than acting appropriately. Therefore, the Flamingo meaning dictates that you must allow yourself to release your feelings so that you can come into balance again. Alternatively, like the Prairie Dog, Flamingo symbolism may be letting you know that it is time for you to get out and socialize. Therefore it is time to have some fun in your life. Moreover, socializing will help let go of stressful situations and coming to terms with changes in your life. Correspondingly, this bird also brings new ideas and options that will come to you while immersing yourself in the company of others. It will also allow you to find balance and gratitude for what you have. It will give you a greater appreciation of those around you. Conversely, Flamingo symbolism may be pointing out that you are blending in a bit too well right now. In other words, you need to allow yourself to be different and to think for yourself. Thus, the Flamingo meaning prompts you to maintain your individuality within the crowds.
Fly – [*from trustedpsychicmediums.com*]
When the fly spirit animal makes its way into your life, this usually serves as a warning that there’s danger lurking somewhere.
It means to catch your attention when you are spending too much of your time with someone or on something that has a destructive influence.
The fly meaning brings to focus to anything that’s causing harm to your life, whether of your own choosing or not. An example of this is giving in to societal pressures and indifference.
Just like the cricket spirit animal, the meaning of the fly also speaks about hate, spite, malice, or blame. It buzzes to be heard and flies overhead annoyingly until you are forced to swat or kill it with anything you can get your hands on.
However, before you dismiss the fly as nothing but bad and undesirable, the fly symbolism also speaks about cures for sicknesses (just like the deer symbolism).
The meaning of the fly also serves as a reminder that you reap what you sow.
What you put out there to the world will come back to you a hundredfold, so make sure that your actions, thoughts, and words come from a place of love and goodness.
The fly spirit animal symbolizes abundance and prosperity during times of adversity.
It sends the message that by being persistent, consistent, and determined even in the face of tragedy will result to victory.
The fly signifies encouragement, because it does a very excellent job of goading you with its presence until you surrender to what it wants and let you be.
It will always fasten on you, arouse you, reproach you, or persuade you, and will not be satisfied until you get on your feet and achieve what you set out to achieve.
Hawk - Visionary Power and Guardianship.
Messengers, protectors and visionaries. Visionary power and leading you to your life purpose. There is a message coming. What you eat, you become. Kundalini. Childhood visions are becoming empowered and fulfilled. The ability to soar and glide upon the currents. Great Heights while still keeping your feet on the ground. Attacks by people who won’t understand you - attack your ability to soar. Teaching of higher expression of psychosis and vision. Beauty and harmony in moderation. Lead you to using your creative energy in manifesting your soul purpose. Hope and new ideas. A need to be open to the new or shows ways that you may help teach others to be open to the new. Be observant. Life is sending signals. Careful in expression. Comments and actions will be strong and powerful with the ability to tear and/or kill.
Praying Mantis – The Power of Stillness
Through learning to still the outer mind and go within, we can draw upon great power – physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. That stillness can be simple contemplation, meditation, or sleep and dreams. 7 Levels of Silence. Are you letting others know your plans before they are even laid? Are you being indiscriminate in what you say and to whom? Are you being impatient? Are you needing help meditating and quieting the outer mind? Are you missing opportunities to grasp life’s rewards because you act or speak to hastily?
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