S2:EP2 - Mr. Mattstopholees

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true!

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

F’n Bob

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

FaeriePrincess

The Warden

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

Looch

The Bassett Hound

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Brother John

St. Diane & You

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Timbo

The Cousins

Zason

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

Chicken Witch

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, November 21, Two-Thousand and Twenty-Fun. Time...Relieving (Or, is that Re-living?)

Theme – Your Perception is Determined by What You Want to See

We always ‘know’ what we are looking at. But what we see is coloured by what we are looking for. I have such rudimentary examples – so very basic. But they work. Of course they are mostly financial. I’ve explained previously that my financial system is very complex and takes daily management. So every day I look at my financial situation. I have to look at several different things using all the same numbers. The first thing I look at is where I will stand at the opening of the business day. This is a simple number. One account. And, as long as it is not negative I am good to go. However, that doesn’t mean I am ok or caught up. [Even though that is how it looks.] Next I have to see what charges are left pending. Those charges will clear at the end of that business day, or the beginning of the next. The goal I am reaching for each day changes daily. When I look t what I made in a day it only tells me where I am in regards to my current Goal. The Goal is determined by how much I am really trying to make in a week and how many days I will work. So, the numbers only tell me where I am at based on which Goal I am looking at. On a larger scale, I look at my life. Some days it is very frustrating that no matter how hard I feel I am trying or what I am trying that I just can’t get out of this rut I have been in for so very long. But then I look at all the good in my life. I eat. I’m sheltered. I work. I have time with my daughters. And, no matter what financial curves life throws at me I always have enough. So, my life is either a blessing or a curse. I guess what you see of it depends on what you are looking at.

Lesson – Live and Learn

Oh, the many different ways I could break this down. In short, you can’t learn until you live. You can’t live until you do. It doesn’t matter what you do, nor how well you do it. It only matters that you do, for then you have lived. And, when you live you learn – constantly. Even when you don’t realize it or it isn’t really your focus. We all know the phrase, “Learn something new every day.” This is actually a simple task. I have learned new things from random and brief encounters on the street. I have learned something in the process of every show I have ever done. For instance, when I did the train robbery this year I learned how to porperly walk on a moving train. I also learned that back in the day every conductor had his own hole punch – unique to him. This was how the railways kept track of which passengers were on which trains when. I loved last week when I did the video. I sis something different. I did something a bit outside of my wheelhouse and I wsn’t sure how it would turn out. It was definitely a little rough around the edges…and I learned a few things. I guess we will see soon enough how well that worked out for me.

Observation – Dead Raccoons

This could have just as easily been a Theme. I have seen about 6 (or more) raccoon roadkills over the past several weeks, including the one I killed. [Don’t ask. It was very traumatic for all of us. Just ask Princess Raccoon Ass.] Anyway, this is interesting to me on two levels. One – practically and realistically. When I commented to The Putter about these sightings he pointed out that there haven’t really been any opossum roadkills around. I realized he was right. I haven’t seen any. This is unusual for this region. I contemplated. What could be the difference this year? I thought about how we have more developments and more industrial parks. Raccoons are trash scavengers. And opossums are not. And I understand they don’t like each other very much. It’s just interesting to me how mature takes care of itself. But it is also interesting on a Totem level. I usually read roadkill as almost the opposing energy – much like a reverse or contrary card in a reading I don’t have my books and I know very little about Raccoon. I know there is some association with the “wearing of masks.” Then there is the garbage scavenging – which is a similar trait to my Chinese Astrology Rat. [One man’s trash is mother man’s treasure, I suppose.].

The Post

As always, I just don’t know where to start. But, I am dedicating my day to figuring out so we can move forward from here.

In a general summarization- life is good. [getting a lil cold, but good.) Finances are balancing – not necessarily improving, but definitely balancing. I have had the last two weeks to really focus on it and I feel I have reached a comfortable place. For now.

Needless to say, the delivery business is doing good. I’ve had the time to work it again and it has been abundant enough. I’ve also had more time to manage other areas of my life. Things are getting back to normal after the Summertime Collapse. I still have a long way to go [and the seemingly endless garage work isn’t helping lol.] Still, I have control again. I’ve been able to bend and flex to the will of the flow of Abundance.

I was concerned about how The Theatre was going to work into all of this. It was obvious that the regular schedule there was not helping e much. Not only was I not making the same money anymore but I found my life to be more congested and myself to be more stressed. One might ask why I don’t just stop doing it.

Because we had an agreement three years ago. From what I can tell, it is time to follow through on that agreement. I may fall short on a lot of things but I do try to stay true to my word. It wasn’t time then and so life forced me out. It is time now and so life has brought me back.

So, I’ve been worried about the scheduling. I decided I needed to make some choices and stick with them. I very often have a tendency to sacrifice myself for the benefit of others. My rationale always being that I bounce back so it doesn’t matter. I can’t always do that. I must learn to put my needs first. That is what I did. After two weeks of analysis I decided that I can’t do the weekday matinee shows. They also have matinees on Saturday and Sunday in December. I don’t think I can even do the Saturdays. But if I manage myself properly throughout the week I should be able to work the Friday and Saturday nights as well as the Sunday matinee. It is only three weekends. It won’t be easy on me but I can manage that.

I decided I needed to just hold firm in this and that is exactly what I did. They may not be happy with all choices. I haven’t been there for two weeks because I wanted to get my shit in order. I wont be there this week except Friday and Saturday. Plus my thoughts on December.

Before I could give her too much detail, The Big Boss’s wife came to me with a list of four dates that she said she absolutely needs me there. The list was comprised of the three Sundays in December as well as Thanksgiving [which I had already planned on doing.]

Everything…precise and perfectly placed.

Things are still so very weird with Bg ‘D’. I know we can never have a balanced relationship, still I honestly think about it everyday. I think about how we could get there. I think about how it would work if we did get there. I think about how comfortable I would be trying to share my life with her after all these years of disconnect. I think about it because I believe it should be. It’s just in my nature. I don’t believe in all this dissonance. It’s true I have my issues with her. I struggle everyday to accept her as she is. [Because that is the point to it all. That’s how we love.] I remind myself daily that she means no harm. I believe that. I don’t think she means to be damaging. She just doesn’t know any better. I don’t necessarily think that it needs to be all one big happy family. But I do not believe it should be this great…disconnect. That’s all I can really call it. Of course, I only have myself to blame for that. [Careful the Magick you cast.]

Yet, more often than I care to think about I am reminded why we have such a distance between us. It’s in attitude and behavior. For instance, I sleep every night, at the front of The Putter’s driveway. I am 20 feet from Geistopia Manor and the tire to The Vantasm is right up against the property line. I can see the house when I lay down at night. And, when Craze was still alive I could hear the TV in the living room. This has been going on for months. And, it’s not that I need her to but, Big ‘D’ has never once offered to let me park in the back of their driveway.

Funnily [Hey Looch…’Funnily’ can be a word but you have problems with ‘inspirationalism’??] Funnily enough, I’m not even thinking of me in that. Like I said, I don’t need her to offer. But, I personally think it would be a respectful and gracious gesture towards The Putters. Like, “Why stay there and interrupt their groove when we have this huge driveway with empty and available spots way in the back in the dark where you won’t get in anyone’s way.” Craze would have done that. [Then again, Craze would have let me move into The Cave.] Ultimately that gesture would also be a declaration of peace and a statement of understanding. So, I just don’t understand. Then moments come that remind me.

At Baby Mama Rabbit’s baby shower there was apparently a discussion about The Princesses’s step-dad and how he was not there. He found other things to occupy his time. [He did eventually show up before I left with Cuddlebug.] Anyway, Cuddlebug says that when everyone else walked away Big ‘D’ turned to her and said, “Your dad may not be perfect, but he would have been her.” [She also insists Big ‘D’ said, “your mom made the wrong choice but I find that to be a stretch.] Anyway, it sounds like a compliment until you look at that first part. Yeah its cool she gave me some credit. But she couldn’t do it without pointing out that Im not perfect first. Nobody’s perfect. So why even say it? Except that she needs to hold on to that negativity. Maybe it makes her feel safe or comfortable in her choices.

Then there are other odd little moments. For well over a year now [if not two] every time I want in The Cave I have to text ahead to get it unlocked. This is not how things had been at the start and it is getting to be quite frustrating. So…I asked about it.

“While I’m thinking of it can you explain to me why I don’t have a key to The Cave? I had one until you changed the lock after [Boom-Dee-Aye] insisted to the girls that she needed their key. And now I don’t”

That was almost two weeks ago now. I still have received no acknowledgement of any kind. The reason she can’t explain it is because this was all Boom-Dee-Aye’s doing. She made that call and Big ‘D’ won’t argue with her. The Princesses have even acknowledged this. Boom-Dee-Aye is running that house and has been since I left. [Which is precisely what she wanted and why she wanted me out of the picture.]

But enough on that. [Lord, give me the strength to accept the things I can’t change.]

I have been having quite a bit of time with the Princesses lately - Corn Mazes, Holistic Expos, Theatre Performances, and we will even have some time on Thanksgiving. This has been part of my challenge. Each of things had me not working but spending lots of extra money. Yet, here I am – all good. [Like I said, I always bounce back.] Which is why I did it. Opportunity only knocks once and life is a mere whisper on the wind. So, so what you can when you can do it.

The theatre performances were at Sunshine’s school and, through a series of [unfortunate] events, she ended up in the show.

They were doing Willy Wonka Jr. She had mentioned it several times. I asked if she was auditioning and she sad she didn’t want to. The more we had this conversation, the more I stressed to her that I thought she should. She has talent and enthusiasm in her. I have seen it many times. Finally, she said she was going to audition.

She told the director that she only wanted an ensemble role. Instead, they asked her to be the stage manager. I thought this was good. Then she told me that they needed an extra body in one of the dances and they asked her to do it. Then they had a principal actor get an academic probation I guess and she couldn’t do the show. So, the director asked [made] Sunshine fill the role. She was not happy about this one bit.

She was nervous about so many things, most in particular the German accent that would be needed. She asked me to help her with it. It was the Sunday before the show until we could get together. This was when we had gone to the expo. So, Cuddlebug and her boyfriend were along. I wanted to do it on the ride back.

First, we went through a whole lot of drama. She wanted me to just read a line to her in the German accent and I refused. I wanted her to read a line to me so I could hear where she was at. This went on for some time and the boyfriend got in the van and offered to read a line for her. I pretty much snapped at him and said no.

I knew she was worried and scared and nervous. I know she was being self conscious. But that is exactly why I needed her to do it. First and foremost because if she couldn’t do it in a safe place like this what was she going to do on stage in front of 100+ strangers. But second, if I read it for her and she just copied me then she would never know just how good she was at it. That wasn’t going to do either of us any good.

Finally, we pulled over at a park and the other two got out so she and I could work. I did eventually get her to read a line and she was perfectly fine with it. I honestly didn’t have any notes. Other than typical director notes – louder, slower, clearer. I then explained some things about theatre. I told her she had to stop worrying about the audience. Ignore them. I told her that of all the shows I have done I only have a few brief glimpses of recollection of this audience or that. We talk about the 4th wall in theatre. “Don’t break the 4th wall. Don’t break the illusion.” Of course this is the audience’s illusion. But that 4th wall is there for the actors as well, so that they can maintain their own illusion. I also explained to her that most people in theatre do not do it for the audience. We do it because we love it. The audience is just a fringe benefit. We are there to have fun, play, tell a story, create a story. My final piece of advice to her was to remember that if she believes it wont matter if it is good or bad because the audience will believe it. That is all you have to do. From the moment you walk onto that stage just simply believe. Believe in every thing you say and do. Believe in the character you are. Believe…and they will follow.

That girl rocked the house. She got so many laughs and such great applause. She received compliment after compliment. The choreographer, who is a high schooler, said if they need extra bodies for the high school production she’s coming to get Sunshine.

It was nice to see her that happy. She has been having challenges of late and it was good to see her spirit all lit up once more.

As I’m sure you have noticed, Fellow Travelers, there have been some efforts on the WTML front. I’m not really sure about this recent karaoke trend but we’re going to run with it. I mean, I should follow my own advice, eh?

It’s a funny thing because singing has always been the bane of my performance life. I struggle with it. What’s even funnier is that I love doing it. I just have very often sucked at it. So, I love to sing but I hate singing.

So, why follow this path?

Because it is the one that was laid before me.

That’s been a whole interesting journey in and of itself. I’ve had the inspiration for months. I just also had a list of challenges and complications. The main one being that I didn’t have a way to play the track and record the video at the same time. Having to get the new phone changed that.

I also wasn’t sure how this was going to work out on the production end. When it did finally happen, it was sketchy at best. But, hopefully, I learned some things and I was inspired to look for a different editing app. I wasn’t sure if I would find one that would have the feature I needed. I knew what I needed before I even filmed the first one. But, I had just accepted that I didn’t have it and I would do the best I could with what I had. [And considering what I had it wasn’t as terrible as it could have been. In fact, certain cuts are actually spot on.] What I needed was multi-track functionality. I had that when I was doing the old videos on the laptop.

Sure enough, I found one. In fact, it was the first one I looked at. My next concern was cost. I couldn’t imagine that an app with multi-track would be free. Though the one I found does have subscription options there is a free version available. I figured I would worry about the subscription at another time and just move ahead with the plan.

Nonetheless, once I had the means to film and play tracks, it wasn’t long until the first script started creeping into my mind. I hesitated. I resisted. I put it off. But, sooner or later, The Producer would have his way and we would do the first one.

I no sooner finished editing that one and the script for the second one would start flooding in. I am actually in the processing stage of that one now. I have done it twice already. Interesting side note: the old phone has not shut down once [that I know of] since I bought the new phone. I mean it’s always plugged in but that didn’t use to matter either. It hasn’t shut down once…until I went to process this project. Then it shut down at least once and I find myself assuming that is what happened the first time I tried to process it as well.

This turn of events would force my hand into getting the subscription. It wasn’t for the features but for the ability to save projects to the cloud. I spent over three hours editing that video [the second time] and I had a finished product that I was very pleased with. I couldn’t afford to lose it again. I figured if I saved it to the cloud I could always process it on the new phone.

I’m trying to use the old phone for such things. It has ample storage space – especially considering I no longer use it, and I can do that while using the new phone for other things. But I am prepared to edit on one and process on the other if I must.

As much as I do not like actually doing th karaoke segment, I am thoroughly enjoying the challenge of editing it. And, as this has come to me and developed, with each new segment, each new song, it gets a bit more involved with the characters and therefore with the editing as well.

I am also enjoying the scripting process. The lead-in for the “Willie” joke was actually very tough to come by and Im still not satisfied with how it played. However, the jokes that followed all played very well. I may feel it was a sloppy set-up but it was a set-up nonetheless.

There are more installments on their way. I know that there is at least one more plus one Christmas installment. There will most likely be a second Christmas one. And it is possible there is a second regular one but that all depends on how daring I am feeling and, at the moment, I am not.

Still, the third script has begun to write itself. [And I will probably have to at least note take for that before my night is over.

I think that is all I have for now. I do have so much before me to get done. It just felt good to get some crap outta my head. Since I won/t be back before then – May those who choose to acknowledge it have a very blessed Thanksgiving Day.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**

None mentioned this week. [That doesn’t mean they weren’t there.]