S2;EP4 - The Merry Old Land of Odds

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true!

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

F’n Bob

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

FaeriePrincess

The Warden

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

Looch

The Bassett Hound

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Brother John

St. Diane & You

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Timbo

The Cousins

Zason

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

Chicken Witch

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, November 28,, Two-Thousand and Twenty-Fun. Time...Turning

Theme – Faith

Faith is always the Lesson of the journey. But this week it was very much a Theme as well. It came up several times and in different ways.

Faith is always the Lesson of the journey. But this week it was very much a Theme as well. It came up several times and in different ways. For instance, it was the core to a debate in which I was engaged in a Facebook group. (Or is that a Meta group now?) Anyway, it was some philosophical/spiritual group. There was this guy popping up in all of these posts and challenging them, insulting them, calling them false. So we got engaged in a debate and innit he said, “blind faith is dangerous. That’s how you wind up in a cult.” My response was, “Nothing about my faith is blind. It has been earned every step of the way.” It was in this moment that I realized it really has been. Time and time again, over and over, it has been earned. I still have to work at it. I have to remind myself often. This week was a perfect blend of me reminding myself and it being earned. As always, the finances of the week were very touch and go – each and every day. In fact, twice, I went negative. At the outset of each day the outlook was pretty bleak. [Especially those two days of negative funds.] Yet, each day, events played out Precise & Perfectly Placed. And, each day ended with hope for the next. Each day, I would make the money I needed to make – in the way I needed to make it. For instance, the days I went negative I needed to make the money in the app that pays instantly. Two seconds and the funds are there. Both days were very touch and go at times. One of those days my payment to the garage was at risk. It would be slow going. I was never quite sure that I was going to make it. All I could do was face the day. I reminded myself that stranger things have happened. I reminded myself that I have made it this long. Each day I would manage the funds just in time to fix the problem. IN fact, the one day when I cashed out at my deadline I thought I was going to still be fifty cents short. [It turns out I was fifty cents over.] And, here, at the end of the week, I find myself needing to make XXX amount of dollars before the official end of the business week in order to meet my Prime Goal. A little bit more than that and I will have all of my current pending charges covered as well as the garage check I will write tomorrow morning. This is a much better place than I have found myself at the start of any week for some time. Still, I have made it this far. All along the way things have moved perfectly. I have done nothing but show up and follow the flow. I’m talking one day, I was ready for my break. I needed coffee from the DDs and I wanted to stop around the corner for tobacco. Then I would be off to the park to…park. [Go figure.] Anyway, at the very last moment I got a delivery call. I was to pick up at the DDs. So I placed my order for inside pick-up and killed two birds with one stone. The tobacco place was literally along the way. I was going to drive right past it. An extra 2 or 3 Minutes doesn’t hurt anyone. [Trust me I have come across all sorts of delays and most of them are much longer.] The delivery would put me right in line with the park when I was finished. All of this and I made one quick last fare along the way.

Lesson – Believing is Seeing

We very often hear the phrase, “Seeing is believing.” But, spiritually speaking, this is not the case. On this plane you must believe in order to see. This was another thing that came up during the FB debate. As I thought on it, I realized that I have believed from Day 1. I believed in it all. I didn’t know why or how. I just new I believed. I have also been having experiences since Day 1. For example, way back in the day – in the beginning – I would stand before my bowl of crystals and allow 3 to 5 of them to choose me. Only at the end of the day would I check what each stone was for, and each time it was appropriate. Or, the morning I was journaling and writing about my totem animals. I had two that had come to me as main totems – Hawk [obviously] and wolf. I had asked for validation. In my morning, I had had several Hawk ‘encounters’ – be it seeing one, or a name, or a word. However, I still had not had validation for the wolf. Within an hour of finishing my writing, I was staring in the eyes of an actual wolf. Believing is Seeing.

Observation – What if I Have it Backwards

I’m not sure what exactly got me to thinking about this. It came to me while I was driving. [Not that I do much else than drive.] They say that the larger the prayer/request/wish the longer it takes to manifest. This makes sense, I suppose. It takes longer to create a simple bookshelf than it does a full-wall bookcase. So, for all of these years I have been chasing ‘my life.’ I have looked at it from the perspective that it was out there, somewhere, waiting for me. All I had to do was get myself there. As the years ticked on, I began to worry that I wasn’t worthy – I wasn’t good enough, capable enough, faithful enough to have it. But, What If I Have it Backwards? My life certainly seems unique unto itself. I don’t know that I’d call it anything special nor important. But, I do have a vague sense of what it is and it is unlike any other life I have encountered. I realize that can be said of any life, but my life has none of the typical. It’s not the typical family situation or dynamic. It doesn’t have the typical living situation – like. Home [apartment/house/room.] It doesn’t have the typical job, nor routine, nor schedule. It doesn’t seem to follow the typical cycles and it certainly is not the typical adventure. I only mention this because my life has been very diverse. I have worn many different hats and taken many travels. Everything my life has been is everything it is meant to be…and that’s a lot. That being said, it takes a lot to maintain that energy and activity. That maintenance requires the right space, the right tools, the right flexibility. For my life to be where/how it needs to be in order for it to be what it needs to be is a tall order to say the least. When I begin to look at things through this filter it all begins to make a little bit more sense. Look how long it took e to find work that not only sustained me but which I didn’t want to quit two days in. But, then, look at all the requirements my job life had in place. I needed to make money. I needed to be able to control my own schedule. I needed to work at my own pace in my own time. I needed something that would give me money each day. I needed something that I could leave and come back to. I needed something that I could take with me. It took me decades to find such a thing. And, if you think about it, it wasn’t available for years. It is only several years old in and of itself and it didn’t really become relevant until COVID. So, when I wonder why I have had so many struggles getting to a home I simply need to remember that I am not getting to it…it is coming to me. Everything Precise & Perfectly Placed.

The Post

This is the part that is always the most challenging. I never which of my 1,001 thoughts I should write about. How many of the weeks magickal and mysterious tales should I tell? I think, sometimes, that this is why I struggle so hard to get posts completed on time. I worry too much about what it is I am writing. I just need to remember that whatever I end up writing is right. Also, my living conditions don’t always feel conducive for creative writing.

Tonight is a bit different though. I have moved to the back. I’m sitting on one of the middle seats, legs stretched out and feet propped. I have changed out of my clothes of the day and into pajamas of sorts. I am listening to downtempo Christmas music. If I had a candle and some incense I would be in my Nirvana. In fact, it’s not even particularly cold in The Vantasm tonight – even though the outside temperature is registering at 34 degrees. I’ve noticed that. Just because it may be cold outside it doesn’t necessarily mean it will be cold in here, even at night. Some nights it is very cold though. Last night I felt very cold. I ran The Vantasm several times between parking for the night and bedtime. So far tonight I have only run it once.

I’ve already mentioned my financial week. It was the same roller coaster thrill ride it is every week – up, down, spinning around, upside down, twisting and turning until it came to a stop and I realized that for as gut wrenching as it had been, for as many butterflies it had caused, my feet were firmly on the ground and everything was perfectly sound.

Faith.

It is a notion I must carry forward with me. It is a notion with which I end this week and begin the next. My weekend did not play out the way I had planned and plotted and hoped. I was going to work the day away yesterday – driving and then The Theatre. I was going to make the money I needed to round out the week and meet that Prime Goal. Then, I would take today - rest a little, work a little – and see if I could top it off a little bit. I had myself all calculated out, just how much I needed to do be where I wanted to be. All I had to do was get through yesterday.

This was not to happen. I hit yesterday morning and did get up and try to work. However, nothing was quite flowing right. I was feeling burnt out. I knew that I was needing some rest and that was part of the plan today. But yesterday morning was so challenging to move through I decided that I could stop and rest and use today to catch up. I didn’t feel bad or lazy or irresponsible. The simple fact of the matter is that I go constantly. I’ve been needing. Good day of rest and with the upcoming three weeks I knew I needed it even more. So, I rested yesterday, knowing all I had to do was get through today.

This was not to happen either. Again, this morning, nothing flowed properly. I woke much later in the morning than I normally would to work a day. So, I started working later than usual and the flow just was not there. By the time it did start to pick up I had decided that I wanted to take a moment to see the girls because they were at mom’s. I figured I would steal them away for an hour-ish and then get back to things. Well, that hour turned into several. Before I knew it the day was gone. I cannot regret this. It was time we’ll spent and much needed.

Of course, it does have an impact on the finances. However, it wasn’t as bad as one would think. In the end, I managed to earn over my main Goal, but under my prime Goal. I was $50 under prime. But I was $50 over main, which was also $50 up from last week. I also was a little short on my secondary Goal of having all charges plus the garage payment before this morning. $30 short. Not only is this no worse than any other Monday morning, but it’s less than I thought I would be short, which isn’t bad considering my spending patterns were different than I projected. Essentially, it has all worked out. Perhaps not the way I had hoped and planned, but in a way that still worked.

Faith.

It starts my next week a little differently than I was hoping, but it is nothing worse than I have faced over the past few months. And, of course, it is the perfect week for it. I have less than $200 in major bills this weeks. However, the beginning of the following week will have me under pressure. But, then, that’s the following week. It’s not now.

The Princesses and I had some time on Thanksgiving. I picked them up earlier in the morning. Cuddlebug made sandwiches and we parked at a park and watched It’s a Wonderful Life. This has been a Geistopian tradition for as long as I can remember. This was Craze’s favorite Christmas movie and every year on Thanksgiving night the family would gather to watch it. All their lives I have been trying to instill tradition so this seemed appropriate.

I have learned recently that some traditions, especially Yule traditions, have kinda stuck. Mostly with Cuddlebug but Sunshine will come around one day. She’s just in that angsty teenager stage. Anyway, Cuddlebug said she told her bf all about how we watch Nightmare Before Christmas at Halloween and that begins our Christmas Movie season. Also, hearing that we might have time together over Yule, she immediately insisted that we make our holiday hot chocolate.

It warms my soul just a little bit that these things have stuck with her. I wanted to start so many traditions with them, but living in separate houses and having every other holiday made it very difficult. One year – and it was only one which was sad – we made 5 little gift bags which included a cookie, some chocolates, and a handmade wreath ornament with the date on it. We then drove around and stopped at the houses with lights/decorations that really stood out to us and gave the owners the gift bag as recognition of and thanks for their efforts. I would have liked to have done that more often. Of course, I have now lost three Christmases with them in a row.

I still struggle with things between me and Big ‘D’. It is just a mental/emotional puzzle that seems to have no solution. I will never think it is right that things are how they are, but I will also never know how to make them different. I don’t know why else I can do. I don’t know how else I can reach out or offer peace. And, it’s not that there’s not peace. I mean, we certainly don’t fight how we did before. But, there isn’t a calmness or a settledness to the energy between us either. At the end of the day, it all boils down to expectations. She wants me to be a person that I can never be and I want things from her that she just can’t give. Some of it is a defense mechanism, some of it is learned behaviour, some of it is simply choice.

It’s strange because I am very satisfied in the estrangement. It took 3 years but I finally realized just how unhappy I was in that house - for the whole of my life. I live in a van and I am still happier, more comfortable with myself, and technically even more abundant, than I ever was living in that environment.

It’s really quite sad that family can be that way – that life can be that way.

It is even sadder that I so readily, so naturally, just accepted it all for so long. Not only did I accept it, but they almost had me convinced that it was all my fault and that I was a useless and terrible person. So convinced that that attitude, that energy, seeped into every aspect of my life.

But, enough on that. It is all out of my hands and nothing I can control. I work at forgiveness and understanding on a daily basis. It is easier with my mother than it is with my sister. I know a lot of my mother’s history and how she became who she is. [Admittedly, at times, I have even used it “against” her in arguments.] But, my sister is another story. I understand some of how she got to where she is, but certainly not all of it. But, I also see her as the source of so much of the difficulties in and around Geistopia. Even Cuddlebug has acknowledged this. She drives the hate and the negativity. [And it worries me that I see it rubbing off on Sunshine.] The thing is my sister is the one who needs the loving and healing energies of forgiveness and acceptance more than anyone else.

*Sigh. Shrug.*

As I have pointed out several times now, Life in The Vantasm is not terribly. It has actually grown on me quite a bit. So much, in fact, that if I could afford to change vehicles I would get a camper van. Nonetheless, I can’t and that’s ok. I do alright in The Vantasm. We have come to understand each other and groove quite a bit. As I said, I have been trying to get out of the front seat when I can. As long as I stay on top of things, everything flows very easily and naturally inside The Vantasm. My bed is always made and ready for use – even if it is as a seat for a passenger. It gets slightly colder each night, but I have yet to be cold in the night. The truth is, I use an old camping trick.

Because I do currently have the “privacy” and security of The Putter’s driveway, I take advantage and sleep I only my boxers. Yes - Eve in this cold weather. In fact, most especially in this cold weather. I was once told by an old “pro” that when camping in the cold weather the best practice is to actually sleep naked. [I’m not quite that comfortable in the driveway.] Anyway, the reasoning is simple – body heat. When you wear clothes to bed the heat stays trapped within the clothes so you feel warm for the moment. However, when you sleep with no clothes the heat circulates throughout under the covers. It warms the whole space instead of just the area of your body. I have yet to suffer a cold night. In fact, one night last week I thought I was going to have to get the covers off of me because I was almost sweating.

Body heat – nature’s radiator system. Who knew?

I mentioned in one of the videos that I can feel the shifts. “Almost as if they have already happened.” There is a shift currently on the table. I do not want to say much about it because I don’t want to jinx it. [Nothing is guaranteed until it happens.] Still, there is a shift in the air with a [currently] 98% chance of happening. It is a temporary shift. But it would provide me with better footing than I have had in some time.

Of course, shifts and changes and magicks abound at this time of year. We are quickly approaching Yule and I can feel it. I can almost smell the magick in the air. This could be the best Yule yet. I never really know how things are going to go until they are over. The general flow of things though is as following:

For the next three weeks(ish) life will continue on but it will mellow out, start to slow down. In past years my energies would become focused on completing The List. [I really don’t know how that works this year.] As we creep our way into Yule and approach Christmas, those efforts usually become even more focused and dedicated. I have spent many a Christmas Eve tinkering away to put the final touches on gifts.

The two weeks f Yule will sort of fly by in their own way. It is in these weeks that anything can happen and nothing is ever as it seems. Once upon a time I would play The Twelve Days of Christmas [Yuletide] with Spirit – acknowledging the gift I received each day.

January has historically been a very big void. Every year for decades I have had little or no work at in January. This is ok because the first two weeks are usually spent sorting through the remnants of the Holi-Days and seeing just what I have been given to work with in the coming year. The last two weeks I am usually engaged in trying to get things ready and activated for moving life forward after Imbolc [which is usually about the time life explains itself to me.]

All we can do is wait and see how it all plays out. But stay alert, Fellow Travelers. Watch for the twinkling objects in the sky. Listen for the impish whispers on the wind. Wish the wishes you were afraid to dream…

And, perhaps, you might just catch a glimpse of the wintery spirit of the north.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**

None mentioned this week. [That doesn’t mean they weren’t there.]