S3EP5: Just Suppose One or the Other

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true!

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

Looch

The Bassett Hound

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason

St. Diane & You

Brother John

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Cousins

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, February 31, Two-Thousand and Twenty-New. Time...Redundant

Theme – No Expectation, No Attachment

This started at the beginning of the week and just seemed to carry through. I came into the week with a rocky start. So, naturally, I set to planning and plotting each day, trying to make the most of each one. I got a basic outline set and then The Voice spoke. This was it’s message. I needed to move through the next few days as best I could with no expectation or attachment as to what they should be or yield. This was a good plan because, as usual, no day went as I would have expected. Things worked out but not in the way I would have seen them in my mind. I feel like this has been the case a lot lately and it is a Theme that I should maybe transpose into a Lesson. I need that kind of clarity. Nothing has been going the way I would like to see it happen, or when. Still, everything has lined up perfectly every step of the way. [Even if I didn’t see it at first.]

Lesson – Just Because You Have Come ‘This’ Far, Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Take a Step Backwards

This one was kind of like a slap in the face this week. Not bad. Not like punishment or harsh. It was just very real to me. Last week, I had the worst week [financially] that I have seen since January of 2020, when I was unemployed all but 6 days of that month. This was frustrating because I want to get ahead. Instead, I took a big step backwards. It wasn’t until this week that I realized that was OK. It was nothing I haven’t faced before and it certainly wasn’t the worst of what I’ve had to face along the way. [One January I made a total of $158 for the entire month.] I’ve managed before and I managed last week. I got through it. Bills and obligations were paid. Gas got put in The Vantasm. There was plenty of food on the table. All of the important things were covered. It left me facing some challenges this week, but, again, everything got taken care of this week and I face next week in a slightly better place than I started this week.

Very often, spiritually/metaphysically, people will ask why they repeat patterns. “But I have done all of this work on myself and my life. I’ve made better choices. Why do I keep finding myself in the same situations, attracting the same types of people/situations, fall into old habits?” Because. Plain and simple – Because. [Or, if you don’t like that one try, “Why not?”] It means nothing. Yes, it is happening to you. But the fact that it is happening to you is not necessarily a statement about you as much as it may be a statement to the process of life itself. There is an ebb and flow to everything. The tide advances every day. Yet it also finds itself pulling back and away. Cycles and rhythms. It’s just the way it is. However, since one would so obviously take these experiences personally, let’s look at them that way for a moment.

First things first. So, you’ve done all this work and think you’ve grown. Then, one day, you wake up and think, “My God, I’m in the exact same situation I was before.” Stop right there. The simple fact that you can recognize the patterns is a testament to your growth and all of the work that has gone into it. Once upon a time, you wouldn’t have seen it at all. So, right off the bat, this is a ‘win’ situation. It does not mean you have failed, or have slipped, or that you aren’t worthy or have made a mistake. It’s just Life…happening. Of course everything – every experience - does have a purpose. Perhaps, it is a ‘test’ of your will or your commitment, or your growth. It happens. To know you are ‘better’ you must eventually see it in action. Perhaps it is just The Universe giving a friendly reminder of who you have become – just a little nudge of recognition. Perhaps, you are there for another reason – to demonstrate your growth. Perhaps you are there to offer understanding or forgiveness to a person that needs it. Perhaps you are there to set an example for someone else. Or…maybe it is all just a way to sharpen your abilities. It is at our worst when we learn the most. We learn to adjust and manage and tweak and rig. It is through our darkness that we learn to appreciate and understand and forgive and love. All of the toughest Life Skills we learn do not come from The Good Times. We hone them through challenges and difficulties and strife. So, maybe it happens just to help you stay fit and in tune – like a marksman returning to the range, or a pool sharp to the game hall.

That is how I feel about this past week. Coming into financially strapped had me a little off center. But, I found that I moved into [almost] instinctual behavior. I tweaked where I could. I juggled and I managed. I worked Day by Day and looked ahead often. I put things off. Cut back on groceries. I reverted to old habits with groceries. Until necessary I am stopping for just what I need when I need it. No excess, no extra, no build-up. I am looking at a few days at a time and then gauging what I need from that. I was to the store today and got the things that I am out of or will be before the day is through. I have taken stock since I am home and I have enough food and drink for [at least] the next three days. So, Wednesday I will return to the store to get what I need through Saturday. Then Saturday I will return and get what I think is necessary then. What I think is interesting is that I am [without trying] creatively using The Setback to reach the Goal – which is to do weekly grocery shopping on Saturday morning. [This is in an effort to better manage and control my Delivery Driving time.] The Setback happened. I immediately switched into ‘survival mode.’ I made a plan to muddle through and that plan just so happened to set me up to take a leap forward.

Observation – I am a Master of Flex Ability

It’s not just about being flexible in life. It’s about the ability to be flexible. This is not always easy, yet in my life it seems to be a necessity. My life, my plans, change daily. Sometimes it is not just one thing in a day, but several. Sometimes it presents a challenge. Sometimes it offers a boost.

Cuddlebug gives me a hard time about this. [Not mean, just a bit of a razzing.] A few Saturdays ago I worked in the morning and was going to pick her boyfriend up and bring him back to The Nest for the afternoon/evening. The plan was for me to work through lunch and then get him around 2 or 2:30. When she told him this, she also said, “But, it’s my dad so just be ready because that could change.” And, it did. I had a decent breakfast shift and by the end of it I found myself close to his house. I didn’t see the sense in driving back across The Valley to pick up some more work only to turn around and come all the way back up to his house to get him later. I called her and told her to see if he could be ready soon. By 11:30 I had him and we were on our way back to The Nest. It seems a drastic shift but in the end it worked out. We had just the perfect amount of time to hang out, make dinner, play a game.

For as much as she can give me a hard time about it, Cuddlebug can contribute to it as well. I’m supposed to pick her up at the boy’s house today and take her home. I was going to get her at like 3. Last night she texted me and asked if I could get her at 4:30 instead. Of course I could. Of course, this also put a twist on my day today. I had it all mapped out in my head and that one little change shifted it a great deal. [Well that combined with the fact that I got 4 hours of sleep.] Those weren’t the only factors. I wanted to work this morning/ I had an amount that I wanted to make just to keep things balanced. That shifted last night when I received a bit more at The Theatre then I had been budgeting. I also wanted to make a quick [and small] grocery run. I just needed a few things to get through a few more days. I got out to work at the time I had planned. Then I sat and I sat, for what seemed like a really long time. [It wasn’t.] Then I needed a restroom so I decided to go to the store, use the restroom and do my shopping. This was all fairly routine, though I did pick up a few things I had not planned for, but when it was all done the decision had been made to return to The Nest. The day changed because so many things changed along the way. I decided to just try to make the most of it and do what I can today.

Nonetheless, it is not only about being flexible – bendable, pliable. One also needs the ability to be flexible – to adjust, bend, twist, turn at any given moment without question. This is more than choice. It takes [almost] a complete lifestyle. [To do it as often as I do anyway.]

The Post

Let’s see if I can do this week any justice. I did a lot of the ‘talking’ already. It was a strange week. I think I’m still not able to process it all. Like I said, I came into the week struggling financially. The previous week, I had seen the lowest income since before The Job. So, in two years. It really was a terrible week financially. It all started with The Safety Meeting.

It was a short-notice plan. The Professor was going to be down from the mountain. My plan was to stop in for a bit and then hit the road again. Eventually, I would conclude that my day was not going to continue on the road and I should just head back to The Nest. It was at this point that I decided I would try to a little Shamanic Quest. It has been some time since I have had a really good one. I just haven’t has an environment safe enough to let go of myself. The experience was different than I would have hoped, but the results were just as potent.

I spent the next two days working, but at the same time, trying to get myself grounded again. The morning after I was so very disoriented and muddle-headed.

WALT: You say that like it should be surprising.

Why do you always pick the most random of moments to have a voice?

WALT: Someone’s got to keep you on your toes.

Anyway, the whole experience definitely threw me a bit off-kilter and it had it’s affect on my financial life. However, I do not regret a moment of it. Though it mussed up my physical existence for a moment it also aligned my spiritual existence. Something shifted in that time. I don’t know what. But I can feel it.

Till it was all over I was feeling much better. Re-charged. And along the way I was able to finish the deep cleaning of The Nest [which was very important.] I was also able to get caught up [enough] on my financials from last year. If I had to do my taxes tomorrow it would all be accurate enough to pass. I just have some tweaking I want to do for my own sake.

So, I had a crazy, yet productive week. Then I would have a good weekend with The Princesses. All-in-all it was very good and I ended the week thinking I was ready to face this week.

I probably shouldn’t think.

It was already Monday by the time I realized what I was facing. Monday was The Day Before – not just one day , but of three in one. Tuesday was Imbolc and the New Moon and the Lunar New Year. I don’t think I have ever faced so much energy. I’m pretty sure, as I sit here writing this, I am still feeling it.

Imbolc is always a big deal for me. It brings a close to The Void of my year and officially starts my ‘active life.’ It is usually when things begin moving a bit smoother and I have a firmer grip on what I am doing next. Already by Yule I had suspicions that this would be significant Imbolc. I think that was confirmed when I started feeling it a week early. [Which, incidentally, was the Shaman night.] I even ended up taking a ritual bath a week prior. Then, I took another one on Imbolc itself.

Of course, the New Moon is also about beginnings. I’ve been on a New Moon cycle lately. I haven’t been able to pinpoint it but I am aware of it. So, there is shift with every passing New Moon. This flip flops back and forth between the New and Full Moons. Each one taking its turn at lending energies. The current cycle just happens to be a New Moon.

The Lunar New Year also brings its influence to the table. I can’t ever recall finding three intense magickal days altogether like that. I still can’t quite wrap my mind around it. Looking back on it, it seems as though I saw something. But I couldn’t tell you what.

The rest of the week was like every other week. [Like I said, I did most of the talking already.] I did my thing, day by day, and just watched as it came together here and fell apart there and still somehow managed to be just right in the end.

Overall, I’m not quite sure what to make of things. I find myself full of In-Betweens.

It’s nice to be at The Nest. I will forever be grateful to The Theatre for this moment in time. The time is not quite half-way through and already it has done so much for me. Needless to say, it has been nice to be someplace warm over the past few weeks as nighttime temperatures dropped. But, I also took a look at some financial aspects.

Now that my financial records a re up to date I decided to go back and look at what was, and have been, spending on food. Using Dec 21 as my move in date, I looked at 4 weeks prior and 4 weeks after that. My categories range from fast food to groceries and everything in between – including coffee shops. From Nov 21 to Dec 21, all categories combined, I spent almost $900. In all of those same categories, from Dec 21 to Jan 21 I spent less than $600. That’s a pretty big difference.

What fascinates me most is the actual eating trend. First, let’s be honest, most of that almost $900 total is a lot of coffee stops. But as for actual eating, at that time, I was only eating once [maybe twice] a day. I would grab a meal whenever I got so hungry I couldn’t stand it. Since moving into The Nest I am eating like a king. I eat three meals a day, almost every day. There are occasions when I will skip one, or just snack a bit. But, for the most part, I am very well fed. Not only am I well fed, but I have also been keeping The Princesses well fed as well. Even this week, when funds were low, there has been more than enough food for everyone. [And I still have plenty of bits here and there.]

I can’t stress enough how odd the whole experience is for me. I truly have never really had this before. [There is the case of the 1-BR apartment, but that was short-lived and I was still putting my crumbled life together after prison. It also never felt like home to me.] Nonetheless, it is so very strange to be able to move around freely and wholly. It’s been a journey of discovery.

I’ve never really been able to know all of myself at once – my habits, or routines. There has always been some interference. So, I am learning so much about myself. For instance, I really can’t sit still…even when I actually can. There is always something I can be doing.

Also, I keep a fairly tidy home. Not only is it tidy but it is cozy and comfortable. Cuddlebug has commented on this several times. And if I’m being honest I have taken notice to it myself on many occasions. It just has a groove to it – a certain vibe.

I’m still finding my routines, or adjusting them to where I am at now. I’m just trying to figure out where all of the pieces fit best. Every week I tweak just a little bit more to try to find the best mix.

Still, lingering in the back of my mind is the though that, before I know it, it will all be over.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**

Bat – Transition and Initiation

Symbols of initiation and rebirth. Implies a loss of one’s faculties if unwary about changes. Also holds the promise of rebirth and coming out of the darkness. The breaking down of the former self through intense tests. It is a facing of your greatest fears – that it is time to die to some aspect of your life that is no longer suitable to you. You are being challenged to let go of the old and create the new. You may see some part of your life go from bad to worse. That which worked before may no longer. The ability to move to new heights. The piercing of new barriers and the opening to higher wisdom. Awakens ability to hear spirit. An increasing ability to discern the hidden messages and implications of other people’s words. Listen as much to what is not being said. Trust your instincts. A new beginning that brings promise and power after the changes.

Tiger – Power, Passion, Devotion and Sensuality

Element of water. Find their most effective work accomplished at night. Mysticism surrounding new and full moons. There will be awakened a new sensuality – a sensitivity to touch. White tiger is a symbol of the west, autumn, and all metals. Expect new adventures. Begin within 6-8 weeks and last for about a year and a half. Do you need more passion for life? Are you expressing your life passion inappropriately? Has your energy been down? There will begin to develop new adventures and renewed devotion and passion for life.