S3EP6: Intermittency

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true!

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

Looch

The Bassett Hound

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason

St. Diane & You

Brother John

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Cousins

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, February 13, Two-Thousand and Twenty-New. Time…Uncertain

Theme – Using The Markers

I’ve been a bit stressed lately. Things haven’t unfolded the way that I think they should be. But every time I get stressed I am reminded that I have been given markers in time. The last set was at Yule – 3 days, 30 days, 60 days. 3 and 30 have passed. Though neither were incredibly potent I did find that some things had shifted or happened by the time they came around. I am anxiously awaiting the 60 days.

We are given these markers in time, in order to keep ourselves calm and focused and on track. In my particular case they are used to remind me that there is time, even when I think there is not. I’ve even used them as deadlines for tasks. For instance – 30 days was all about making sure that The Nest was cleaned and ready for living.

For now, these are the markers I am aware of:

There is something about next weekend, though I am not certain what.

Then about the 28th.

Then March 20th.

Easter [whenever the hell that is.]

And Finally, Beltane on May 1st.

I don’t have any particular attachment to these dates or what they may hold. But, for reasons of their own, they come to my attention often. Time will tell, I suppose.

Lesson – Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should

I talked last week about being able to be flexible. This week that was put to the test. Monday night The Professor texted me and asked if I wanted to attend a breakfast on Tuesday. I had given it some serious thought and was actually planning on doing it. It would have been nice for both him and The Putter. However, when I woke up Tuesday and checked my financial standings I was further behind than I had thought. So, I declined.

Later in the day, he said they were back at The Putter’s and I should come over. Again, I gave it some serious consideration. After all, being flexible is my thing. Right? Still, it didn’t feel quite right. I mean I could have swung by for a bit, but I was still trying to make some much needed money. And, it was being flexible in the previous week that had played a part in my lack of income. So, once again I declined.

Turns out that was the best thing I could do.

Observation – Boredom is my Bane

It’s not good when I get bored. Unfortunately, I get bored easily. I say it all the time. I don’t sit still well. If I sit still too long, unproductive or not entertained, I slip into old habits. Habits I developed while at Olde Geistopia. It’s not laziness as much as it is just pure distraction. I get bored and find things to occupy me – which are oft times unhealthy. Then I get sucked into these things that have no time frame – no real starting or stopping points, and eventually become distracted from the things I could inevitably have done.

The Post

I finished last Sunday a little rough. I hadn’t quite been feeling well all day long. I didn’t feel ill but there were lots of trips to the restroom. I mention only because it was almost spiritual for me. My whole body would feel weird afterwards – drained and weak but somehow also full of energy. I thought of it as a complete cleansing – not just the physical body but the spiritual as well. I saw it as a shift in things.

This strange feeling carried over into Monday. Honestly, Monday is very much a blur to me. I know it happened, but I don’t really know what happened. I know I started my day later. I wanted to give that a try. I’m always up and out so early in the day. I thought it would be nice to have a morning and it was.

My first stop was at Olde Geistopia to drop off a shirt for them to return for Cuddlebug. Then a quick visit with The Putter and then off to do some work. But I was home before I knew it and I don’t really know how that happened. I think a lot of it was that I was still feeling off.

[I really feel disconnected from that day. Hmmm.]

Now, Tuesday was that funny day – the one with the hemmin’ and hawin’ about visiting The Professor while he was down. I told you that I closed the day way ahead of where I thought I was going to be. And that was true, or so I thought.

When I had come to the conclusion that I was more than OK I decided to head back to The Nest. I thought this was funny because I had almost done that just moments prior. I had just dropped off an order not ten minutes from The Nest. I thought about going straight back there but then decided I had said I was doing dinner and I was determined to do it. My logic was that was I know I did my part to make the money I needed.

Well, on my way back to my parking spot I decided to do the calculations and see where I was at. Imagine my surprise when I realized I was way over and more than comfortable for the next morning. I decided to pack it in for the day. I figured I could head back to the nest and get some stuff done, which I did.

I woke up Wednesday only to discover that I had calculated incorrectly somewhere along the line. I had totally forgotten about the check to the mechanic. Suddenly, I found myself behind and on a day when my 1st car payment was due. Needless to say there was a lot of panic and stress that day.

However, once again, that car payment didn’t come out. This is the second time this year. I don’t know what the problem is, and though, both times it helped me [practically saved me] I can’t let it happen again. I will need to get in contact with them and see what the problem is.

One time last year I needed to adjust the date of my payment. I was falling just a little shy of the total and they allow you to push it back a few days. When I was looking at options I noticed I could set it up to take half the payment twice a month. I figured this would help me immensely. I was finding it difficult to handle that full payment at the time they would take it. I had a lot of other stuff in the same 7 days and it was always challenging and stressful to pull it off. So, I made the necessary changes. For six months it came out twice a month. All of a sudden since the first of the year they only take the one payment. I had even gotten a text notification a few days prior saying they were going to take it out. So…I don’t know.

The remainder of the week…just was. Thursday came and went. I’ve been having difficulties delivering this week. It has been a combination of low fares, not a lot of orders, but also – for whatever reason – a lot of connectivity issues. The best I can tell it had something to do with the overcast days. The days there were lots of clouds and some rain, I wasn’t able to maintain a signal even in the most common of places. But, Friday, when the skies cleared I had a very good day. I need ed it. It was another very rough week financially. I can’t take too many more of those.

This has me thinking and wondering what the real issue is. At this point, I know it must be something with me. I feel I’ve lost a bit of motivation. When things are slow it is hard to stay out on the road when I actually have some place I can be. So, I think I come home more often than I should. It’s not about laziness, because I come home and I do things. I certainly don’t just sit around. In fact, I was just talking this week about how I need to start making time to do just that – to just sit and relax and unwind.

I feel under pressure to get things in my life straightened out. To my knowledge, I only have this brief windo of luxury – a place to be, a place to work at things and sort through things. I feel like, before I know it, I am going to wake up and it will all be over. I absolutely have to work and earn money. This is true. But, I also need to get things straightened up.

A month or so ago, I could barely get into The Cave, let alone work at anything that is in there. From leaving so abruptly to a number in changes of ‘residence, things have become so chaotic. When I moved into The Nest I had three partially filled containers of kitchen stuff. One from leaving Hoagie’s. One from the tent. And one lingering from when I was doing house sitting last year. I just went through about three containers of tools in the same situation. All of this has opened up a lot of space in one side of The Cave, but I still cannot get into the other.

I have to remind myself that this is important but it does not all have to be done before my time at The Nest is through. I mean, I want to get as much of it done as I can, but as long as there is room to move once more I can work on it anytime.

The parking situation has also been a factor and one that in eed to stop letting have such influence. I don’t like to get home too late because the parking situation here is terrible. There is one of two spots that I can use and they do get taken often. This leaves me with unloading the The Vantasm and then driving around the blocks looking for a place to park. It’s not terrible. It’s just frustrating.

The last factor, believe it or not, is the sunset. I really don’t like delivering at night. It’s not the driving that I mind. That is fine actually. It is the frustration of trying to find some of these homes in the dark. Again, this is something that I must force myself to get over.

I haven’t really seen The Princesses much the past two weeks. There have been other plans on everyone’s part. We are doing some stuff today for The Superbowl. I am picking them up – at two completely different ends of The Valley’s region. Then we are going to The Theatre. Finally, we are coming back to The Nest. We are going to [kind of] watch the Super Bowl and I am going to put together some nachos while Cuddlebug makes some guacamole. After the half time show I am going to take them home.

Next weekend, I have my Globetrotters show on Friday night. Then Saturday we are making soup and having Big ‘D’ over for dinner. I’ll be honest, I’m not really into it. But, it was my inspiration. So I will see it through. Sunday is an ‘off’ day and I think we may go to the art museum. Monday is a school holiday so they are spending one extra night. I will have to work on Monday. But, I will work in the morning, maybe through lunch – or at least part of it – then I will take them home but not before visiting that new shop I found at Christmas time.

Overall, I am feeling very beat up and run down. I’m not sure why the sudden struggles. But, everyday I have been brushing myself off and going out and trying again each day. I’ve had moments of vague depression. The frustration gets to me sometimes. Running the same circle over and over again but never finding a way out of it. It made me question what exactly I am living my life for at this point. I don’t really have any plans or dreams left. I’m just here – living. It's not like a suicidal kind of thought. I’m just feeling very lost and like I am only going through the motions.

However, I do feel like another shift is coming. Soon, perhaps. I don’t know what that means, but I feel as if maybe some of the financial strain and stress will change. Time will tell, I suppose. 60 days was the last marker received during Yule and that would be about the last day of the month.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**

Hawk - Visionary Power and Guardianship.

Messengers, protectors and visionaries. Visionary power and leading you to your life purpose. There is a message coming. What you eat, you become. Kundalini. Childhood visions are becoming empowered and fulfilled. The ability to soar and glide upon the currents. Great Heights while still keeping your feet on the ground. Attacks by people who won’t understand you - attack your ability to soar. Teaching of higher expression of psychosis and vision. Beauty and harmony in moderation. Lead you to using your creative energy in manifesting your soul purpose. Hope and new ideas. A need to be open to the new or shows ways that you may help teach others to be open to the new. Be observant. Life is sending signals. Careful in expression. Comments and actions will be strong and powerful with the ability to tear and/or kill.