S3EP9: The Land of Make-Believe

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true!

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

Looch

The Bassett Hound

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason

St. Diane & You (3)

Brother John

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Cousins

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, March 6, Two-Thousand and Twenty-New. Time...Buffering

Theme – The Blessings of Now

This came to me from reading an infant’s onesie. The onesie actually read something like ‘Thankful for tiny miracles.” The timing of that couldn’t have been more perfect. It was a good reminder. I push and strive for the ‘big things’ every day. I fail, almost every day. Try as I might, I just don’t seem to accomplish what I’d like. That can feel very defeating. To be honest, it very often has me wondering why I even bother or try. It makes me contemplate why I am still in this life. I think we very often look for all of those ‘big things’ and therefore, very easily, overlook all of the small blessings that happen on a daily basis. The accident brought with it a whole list of blessings. An entire list of ‘Thank G-d for this or that.’ The Putter and I talked about this and I was saying how I struggle every day to get things done and accomplished – to make the difference in my life. Nothing ever really seems to work. Yet, at the same time, I survive. I somehow manage to get through each and every day – unharmed and ready for the next. I’ve panicked and I’ve worried and I’ve stressed over so many things. But, every day, little things happen that keep everything in line and keep me on track. The blessing isn’t always the thing itself, but sometimes the timing of it. It is time for me to make time each and every night to review and be grateful for the day – The Blessings of Now.

Lesson – Self-Truth

This is a tough one. It can be hard enough being completely honest with other people. But being completely honest with the self is a challenge. It’s not just about the things that are ‘wrong’ with us but also the things that are so ‘right.’ This Lesson is my current struggle – on both those fronts.

Observation – Will it Matter in a Year

I forget what the actual point to the post was, but I saw this on Facebook. Such a wonderful question. More often than not, the answer is, “Probably not.” I have so many worries and fears and struggles right now. Not just in the moment but only moments away as I move into my short-term future. But will they really matter in a year? A year ago, I was just home from The WhooDoo Tour, with a van that was spitting out fluids and didn’t want to run right. The problem got fixed. The debts got paid. And that van took me through a year of a whole new ‘career’ in driving. A year before that I was a month into The Job. It was something I could do and feel some passion for but not a place I wanted to be. It was The Job that paved the way for The Vantasm. A year before that I was living in my car. Life changes. It changes faster than we realize. So, in the end, whatever we are struggling with – Will it Matter in a Year?

The Post

Here it is – Tuesday already.

I finished writing last week’s post on Friday. It was far from complete, as was my week. But it was what was needed at the time. I read over it quickly on Sunday and I was content in the content. Still, there were many things I did not really talk about or get into.

For instance, my ‘settlement.’ It was a weird moment on Wednesday when I had that conversation. I, honestly, just wanted things done and over with. I think I mentioned that my insurance does not allow me to go after a ‘pain and suffering’ settlement. [And I’m not sure I would anyway. Craze forever hated those words.] Nonetheless, I agreed to the money I got and then started the phone recording of me agreeing to release everything else in the future. While we were doing this that spot in my back started to tingle and burn. I wondered if I was making a poor [or rash] decision. But the ball was rolling and, though I could have, I didn’t stop it.

Friday was my first night back at The Theatre since the accident and by the end of the night I was suffering from discomfort. Pain wouldn’t be the right word. But everything from my back to my feet was very tender and throbbing. Again, I wondered if I made a poor choice in signing off on everything.

Saturday was a little better in regards to the back. We will see how things go this weekend but honestly the experience felt more like a release and a healing than anything else. That would make sense with everything else that is going on in my life right now. Like the challenges to my habits.

Over the almost 5 decades of my life I have definitely developed some habits. None of them are good for me and all of them have served as distractions from the rest of life. Lately, the light is being shone on them and they are coming into question. For instance, the cigarettes.

Cigarettes are something that I have struggled with for a very long time. I keep thinking I am going to quite and I don’t. This is getting challenged head on at this moment. Right now, it is not about quitting but about controlling. I have been gently admonished for smoking in The Nest. So, now I force myself to go outside. [Mostly. There are still occasions.] It’s a real challenge because I have never stopped doing things in order to smoke. Now I have to walk away and smoke. Also, I do not stand still well so standing still to smoke doesn’t fly with me. I take several drags, put it out and come back to it later. Also, I cannot smoke in the rental vehicle. This will definitely present a challenge at times, but I am looking forward to it. Even when I was practicing for this in The Vantasm I noticed such a difference when I wasn’t enveloped in smoke.

Of course, cigarettes are not my only hang up nor the only one being challenged. The rest though are my own to deal with. There is nothing The Universe can do to make me face them except keep reminding me that I must. These are my distractions and detractions. They developed over time while I was in a life that did not seem worth living. I’ve known for a very long time that they drag me down and hold me back. I’ve just never been able to put them aside long enough to conquer them. But, now, it seems like a do or die situation.

But enough on that. The point being that all of those things ultimately relate back to what I call The Sacral Chakra [which is not the same as what some seem to call the Sacral.]

Now, Saturday I did not have the girls and I decided to work. I had a slow morning – just a little bit here and there. Then Bert-on wanted to get together for breakfast. At first, I said no. Then I re-calculated and decided that I could. So I did. Once again it was miscalculations. I not only stopped working to eat, I stopped for the day. By the end of breakfast I was feeling rough. My lower back was throbbing and I was feeling very tired. So, home to The Nest I went. I can’t drive like that and I still had to work that night.

Sunday I wanted to work and again I couldn’t get moving in the morning. Now, both Friday night and Saturday night I took muscle relaxers after work at The Theatre. I am leaning towards those causing my problems the following days. However, on Sunday, once again I did things. I managed to get things accomplished. I finished Sunday feeling ready to face the week.

Incidentally, I was also having difficulty driving because I was without glasses. This is a thing. I don’t recall if I talked about it before but I know it has been on my mind. For a very long time I have been driving around with a pair of glasses that were very old. The prescription was definitely off but worse than that the lenses were so scratched up that every time I looked through them I thought they were dirty. This may sound ridiculous but old scratched up glasses were better than none.

I wished, day after day, for the ability to go and get new ones. I’ve never really been one to wear my glasses but with all of the delivery driving – finding houses and driving at night and in areas I don’t know – I felt I needed them. I’ve come to rely on them actually. Then, one day while getting things from The Cave, I found another pair. I totally forgot I even had them. They are newer and the prescription is still a little off but they were definitely better than what I have been working with. There they were laying in a box. The problem is they were missing a lens. It just so happens that the lens was laying in the box as well.

Anyway, last Thursday I left The Putters and part way home I realized that I was missing that lens again. I texted him and asked him to keep an eye out for them. On Saturdaqy, I swung by and looked all over the yard. He wasn’t in his shop and I hadn’t heard from him so I assumed he hadn’t found the lens either.

Nonetheless, Monday I got up and got out into the world. I had so much I wanted to get done. I needed gas. I wanted to vacuum out The Vantasm [I know it seems ridiculous, but I could finally get it done and I wanted to.] I had to grab a few things at the store and, yes, I needed tobacco. I had the whole morning mapped out to get it all done and be on the road working by 0730. And I did.

Here's a funny thing though. I was vacuuming The Vantasm and opened the middle row storage in the floor. This is where the seats would be kept if I put them away. With the seats out it is just a storage space. So I open the compartment behind the driver’s seat and press the hose nozzle to the carpet. With that I had this random thought to look for the lens. I immediately looked down into the compartment and there it was. Another moment or two and I would have sucked it up in the hose. This is one of those ‘Tiny Miracles’ I wrote about earlier. The Voice never fails.

I hit the road and I worked. The morning was very slow and almost enough to make me give up. But, I didn’t. I stayed out through lunch and I made some progress. Then I had to stop by Olde Geistopia for another envelope from the other insurance company. This time it was my check.

The check is a hard thing. I do not want to see it as available money. I probably need it for a down payment on another vehicle. If I don’t I do have other plans for it. Yet, here I was on day one seeing it as a buffer to help save my ass from the crappy day I was having.

I popped in to The Putter’s to let him know that I found my lens. Then I stayed – probably a little longer than I should have. As usual, when I left I wrestled with working or returning to The Nest. I headed for The Nest, but The Voice made a little deal with me. I should leave my apps on until I hit a certain intersection. At that point, if I hadn’t received an offer I could head straight home. My only response to that was, “Then make it an offer worth taking.”

They did. I got a good offer. It was going to be a drive, but it would be worth it and I could get home from there. But, before I could drop that order off another offer came in and then another. All of them were good fares. Till all was said and done, I came within $2.05 of what I absolutely needed to cover my ass. This was still way under what I really wanted to make [and should have.] But it was enough and it was time to head home. Even with my glasses I really do not like delivering after the sun goes down. It’s not even about the driving. It’s just more difficult to see the house numbers as a whole and it gets frustrating. So, I went into this week planning on working from sun up to sun down. The sun was going down and it was time to go home.

Today was different all together.

I got up ready to go. I even rolled my cigarettes for the day. But somewhere along the way my morning took a very bumpy turn. It started with printer problems. I was trying to print out my current insurance documents for the rental and my printer just would not cooperate. I finally got it but it took a lot of time and energy. When I was done, I was behind in everything else and it was still time to go.

The plan was to go and drop off The Vantasm, get the rental, and head out on to the road from there. I had no coffee. I had no lunch. I hadn’t even had time to eat anything for breakfast. In fact, except for a few pieces of cheese I didn’t eat until about 1900 tonight.

I finiched with the rental and headed straight back to The Nest. I passed out for at least an hour. When I got up, it was too late in the day to even hit the lunch rush. So, I decided to get laundry done and hit the store for the remainder of my groceries. Both of these were planned for later in the week, but do what you can when you can. So, that’s what I did. [I also stopped and bought some cheap XBOX games. Doesn’t make sense to have it working and not have anything to play.]

I returned home, got everything put away and I have been going ever since. Hammering away at this or that. My finances are done. Email has been checked. I made and ate dinner and all of my dishes from the last two days have been washed. I made my lunch for tomorrow. [And, of course, I have worked on this blog.] I even managed to do a 3-card reading at the request of Bert-On.

Another thing I did not discuss from these past two weeks is my teeth. I believe I mentioned that someone suggested I go to the ER and see about getting into the clinic. When I went to the ER for the accident I did get them to write me a referral for the clinic. However, when I called the clinic, they said they are not taking new patients and I can check back in 6 months.

This was frustrating. Anyone who knows me knows that my teeth are an issue for me. I would love to get them fixed and I have tried time and time again to no avail. For the most part, I try not to think too much about it and just accept it for what it is. But then every so often Spirit comes along and drops this little nugget of hope in my lap. Hope that is quickly diminished. This is frustrating. It is the same in so many areas of my life. The thing is I don’t know that I care anymore if things get fixed or change. Yeah, it all sucks. But I deal with that suckiness quite well. What really frustrates me are the nuggets of hope or the whispers of change. Like, stop telling me things will get better when they’re not. Stop giving me hope that I can do something different when I can’t. Stop stirring the pot.

I am sure the rest of my week will hold…something. I have to get my ass out to work as much as I can over the next 5 days, including time at The Theatre. The Vantasm is under inspection and all I can do is wait on that call. [By the by, the rental is really nice. I even got a free upgrade. Another ‘Tiny Miracle.’]

At the same time, I am anticipating it will all be too busy to have too much go on. I have all my clothes picked for the next 5 days and have laid out a basic plan of action. When I do get time to write again I want to focus on the subject of the title.

The Land of Make-Believe

I’ve always been a dreamer. That is my nature. But this is something altogether different.

I’ve struggled to have a ‘normal’ life. Yet, my life has been anything but. It has been almost surreal. It’s been unlike any life of which I have been told. I feel as though I have faked my way through it all. Often, it seems as if I am just pretending to live.

Life in Olde Geistopia was never really enjoyable for me. I often had to make believe that I was living a different life. Make believe I wasn’t there. When I got older and embraced where I was, I had to make believe that what I did around there mattered. I had to make believe that the work I put in was worthwhile. Or, again, make believe I was living my own life someplace else.

That has carried through ever since I left. At Hoagie’s – when he wasn’t there – I would make believe it was my own space and I was living with purpose. Even here at The Nest I play make believe every day. It is home for now and it is comfortable, but it is all very temporary. I cannot let that interfere with day to day living and so I make believe it is something more.

I’m playing make believe in the rental van. I make believe that it is mine and that one day maybe something like it could be. I make believe I deserve it.

All of my trips were playing make believe. I made believe that somewhere in them there was a purpose. I make believe that every day about my life. Every time something big (usually bad) happens I make believe that there is some greater reason for it and that I will get through it. I usually do get through it but never yet without great cost to myself. When I left Olde Geistopia so abruptly I made believe that it was leading me to better things, a better life. Three years later here I am still struggling and unable to make sense of anything.

I have always liked singing, but I have always had struggles with it. So, I make believe I can sing [when I am alone.]

Even life with my daughters has been make believe. When we get together we make believe that we are a real family, living a real life. That is no easy task when you live a part time life. I can remember when they were little – one week they couldn’t tie shoes. The next they could. I had to make believe that it didn’t hurt that I missed that moment. Or make believe that it was just as exciting to see them tie them for the 100th time (for them) as if it were the first time ever.

I make believe that one day I won’t find myself so very alone. I make believe that someone will want to spend time with me – share in my life. But, then, I have to make believe that I have a life worth sharing with someone else. My life is fine for me. I get through it. It just doesn’t seem built for someone else.

I make believe that after all these years – the heartaches, disappointments, failures – that I’m not frustrated, depressed, tired. I am. But every day I make believe that one day it will be different.

The Rest of the Week

I captured what I could of Wednesday on video. One day, That Wednesday will air.

I am struggling to get video edited. I am struggling to get all sorts of things done. Still, I keep plugging along – making believe that [maybe] at the next marker, which is Ostara, there will be light at the end of this very long tunnel.

Thursday was a strange day. I woke up feeling very off. This was the first time in some time for that. Lately, I have been waking up feeling ready to go to face the world and conquer it. [I haven’t, of course.] But, Thursday, I woke up feeling the exact opposite. I didn’t want to face anything. The funny part is that Thursday was probably one of the better days I had this week.

On Thursday, I realized that I didn’t have any of my driver credit cards. So, Friday started with me going to the body shop to retrieve them. I had left them in the glove box of The Vantasm. I decided that while I was up that way that maybe I would start my work day in that area. I got work but on a while it wasn’t working for me. The traffic is heavier, the area covers parts of town that I don’t really like driving in, and the money wasn’t as good as I thought it would be.

This sort of settles the question of whether I should change my current delivery area. I think I can allow myself to be dragged to these different areas, as work demands, but overall I should continue to anchor where I already am. I know the area. The deliveries are steady enough and the traffic doesn’t really get excessive – except at evening rush hour time.

I made the money I needed to make on Friday. I could have stayed out a little longer since I didn’t go into The Theatre that night. They had a very small house and that results in me doing a whole lot of standing around. This allowed me to get a bit caught up. Somehow this week The Nest became disorganized. So I cleaned it. I also got all my financial records finished up. I can now begin my taxes. This is another thing I am not looking forward to doing. I’m going to owe money. I just don’t know where I am going to come up with the funds to pay it.

[How is it that I keep pushing to work and I still live day to day?]

As of the close of business on Friday, I still hadn’t heard any news on The Vantasm. So O still don’t know if they are going to fix it or total it. I assume the latter, but I make believe they are going to fix it. When I accept that they probably won’t I make believe that somehow I will be able to get into another vehicle. [Maybe even something newer.]

I did go to The Theatre on Saturday. It was a double show and I managed alright. So, my concerns about damage to my back were alleviated. It was pretty much as I suspected. I was just still a bit out of whack from The Accident.

I want to comment that Saturday I had a strong morning of driving, but felt worn out and drained. I headed back to The Nest so that I could rest before The Theatre. I went out deep and for an hour [which is very out of character for me.] but when I did finally come to it took me a while to open my eyes or even be able to move. I laid there, conscious and aware for some time before I could [literally] lift a finger. But the more interesting part was that I was trembling – inside. My body wasn’t shaking. It was more like my soul was.

I had three dreams this week. Well three I could recall – which is unusual. I don’t want to get into too much detail. But I do find them important or significant on some level.

The first was me driving through a wooded area. I came upon a wooden building. Looked like a home but in my head I believed it to be a store of some sort. It had a bear on the front above the door. [Think Build-a-Bear.] I pulled up and went inside. This is when I realized it was a home but no one was there. Eventually the homeowner, a woman, appeared at the door. She didn’t seem upset that I had let myself in. She was actually very hospitable. Next thing I know we are sitting on the couch. She had three dogs. Two were long-haired, one of those having an orangish color to it. The third was more of a pitbull kind of breed. All three were giving me ‘kisses.’ [Which I find odd because I don’t like that.]

The second came a night or two later. It involved someone my father worked for in show business a very long time ago. There was plenty of scandal and drama revolving around this person. More than I think I should ever share here. I’ll be honest, for whatever reason, I had thought about this drama recently. Nonetheless. He and I had a brief dialogue. [Also, I could never see his face clearly. I just knew who it was.] We talked about show business and singing. I know we talked about me singing. I’m pretty sure I told him that I certainly didn’t get my voice from him. Then confessed that I loved his voice and I could sit and listen to him and his wife sing for hours. [Which is very true. They both had incredible singing voices.]

Finally, was one from last night. Cuddlebug and I had been at The Putter’s. We were in his workshop. But when we left we were walking out his front [well side] door. I walked over to Olde Geistopia. I went up on the porch and through the big bay window I could see Craze sitting in the chair next to the window. There was this cluster of wires, hanging down from the poles. I’m not even sure how they would have reached so far. As I passed them I noticed they were broken, live, and sparking. I went inside and told dad I needed to call Cuddlebug and tell her to come to the back. Before I could she came through the front door. I was surprised and relieved that she had made it. But I noticed she was wearing a smart watch type of device and it was glowing as if it had received some sort of charge when she passed.

All very odd and seemingly random. [Which is why I think they are not.] I’m not sure what, if anything, they mean but the simple fact that I could remember them so clearly even several days later intrigues me.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**

[The first two include colors that accompanied the Totem message.]

Hawk - Visionary Power and Guardianship.

Messengers, protectors and visionaries. Visionary power and leading you to your life purpose. There is a message coming. What you eat, you become. Kundalini. Childhood visions are becoming empowered and fulfilled. The ability to soar and glide upon the currents. Great Heights while still keeping your feet on the ground. Attacks by people who won’t understand you - attack your ability to soar. Teaching of higher expression of psychosis and vision. Beauty and harmony in moderation. Lead you to using your creative energy in manifesting your soul purpose. Hope and new ideas. A need to be open to the new or shows ways that you may help teach others to be open to the new. Be observant. Life is sending signals. Careful in expression. Comments and actions will be strong and powerful with the ability to tear and/or kill.

(Red – [+] sex, passion, strength; [-] Anger, aggression, impulse)

Eagle - Illumination of Spirit, Healing, and Creation.

Balance of being of the Earth, but not in it. The soul, the spirit, and warmth of life. The resurrection. Punishment and reward. Greater sight and perception. Reflects an awakening ability or the need to learn to walk between worlds. Heroic nobility and divine spirit. The rediscovery of the inner child. Alchemy. Involvement with creativity. A willingness to experience extremes in a controlled condition. A willingness to use your passions to purify and to use your abilities, even if you get scorched a little in the process. The need to stay connected to and use things of the Earth. Important to know when to speak, how much, how strongly. New vision will open. The ability to hear - spiritually and physically - may also increase. Cooperative responsibility. A healing role. Opportunities (even those thought long lost) will arise - learn to see and snatch them up. A new sense of timing and movement will begin to develop Primal force inherent and easily awakened. Take on the responsibility and the power of becoming so much more than you now appear to be. Events will now fly faster, repercussions for everything you think, do and say (or fail to) - positive and negative - will be both stronger and quicker. A powerful new dimension to life and a heightened responsibility for your spiritual growth. Touch all of life with healing and become the mediator and the bearer of new creative forces within the world.

(Blue – [+] Happiness, calm, truth; [-] Depression, loneliness)

[The following 2 go together as one]

Crow - The Secret Magic of Creation is Calling

Magic and creation are potentials very much alive during the day. Alchemy. Represents “ingredients,” the initial state of substance - unformed but full of potential. A reminder of what an happen if we are not looking for magic and creation every day. Magic and creation are ‘cawing’ out to us every day. Health, home and respect. Working with crows can help you to see how the winds are going to blow into your life and how to adjust your own life flights. Finding a dead crow was a sign of good luck. Wherever crows are there is magic. Symbols of creation and spiritual strength. Look for opportunities to create and manifest the magic of life. They are messengers calling to us about the magic that is alive within our world everyday and available to us.

Raven - Magic, Shapeshifting, and Creation.

Bird of birth and death; mysticism and magic. Messenger of the great spiritual realm. Bring forth life and order. Can help you shape shift your life or your being. Knowledge of how to become other ‘animals’ and how to understand their language. Teach how to stir the magic of life without fear. Strong creative life force. Can be used to enter The Void and stir energies to manifest what you most need. Expect Magic. Somewhere in your life, magic is at play. Activates the energy of magic, linking it with your will and your intentions. Teaches how to take that which is unformed and give it the form you desire.

Dog – Faithfulness and Protection

Different dogs will mean different things. Examine the qualities of your breed and the individual dog. It takes a lot to break a dog’s spirit. It’s ability to love, even when abused, is tremendous. It’s spirit and willingness to love and to be a companion is great. What is this saying about your need for or lack of companionship? Are you being faithful? Are others around you? Are you showing unconditional love, or receiving it? Do you need to be more protective of your territory? Do you need to play a little more? Does your spirit need bolstering? How about those around you? Examine your territories. Dog knows its own home ground.

Bear - Awakening the Power of the Unconscious

The Seven Great Lights of The Divine. Ties to subconscious and even unconscious mind. A symbol for alchemy, the ingredients of primal matter. It relates to all initial stages and primal instincts. How to go within to find the resources necessary for survival. Help you go within your soul’s inner sanctum to find your answers. Discernment and discrimination. Is your judgment off? How about those around you? Are you not recognizing what is beneficial in your life? Are you not seeing the core of good deep within all situations? Being too critical of yourself and others? Wearing rose-colored glasses? Go deep within so that you can make your choices and decisions from a position of power. Linking Heavens and Earth. Symbol of fertility, of things that grow. We must bring what we awaken into the world and apply it. Keep the cub inside alive and occasionally climb trees. A need to go deep within yourself. Have periods in your life when you are more reclusive. Go within yourself and even give birth to two or three ideas or projects. The Natural sweetness of life. Go within to awaken the power, but only by bringing it out into the open and applying it will the honey of life be tasted.

Swan – Awakening the True Beauty and Power of the Self

The emotions will become more sensitive, and you will find yourself becoming more sensitive to the emotions of others. A solar symbol. As you realize your own true beauty, you unfold the ability to bridge to new realms and new abilities. See the inner beauty in all without considering appearances. Find it easier to stand colder climates than warmer. The North. Reflect power and longevity. Faerie Realm. Totem of the child, the poet, the mystic, and the dreamer. Hints of the need for control.

Dragonfly – The Power of Light

Inhabit two realms – water and air. The significance of these should be studied. There must be expressions of the emotional and the mental together. You may need some fresh air in regards to something emotional. You may need to gain new perspective or make a change. May even indicate that you are neglecting your emotions. Are you being too rational about everything? Are you not keeping the colors of emotion alive?

Lion - Assertation of the Feminine and the Power of the Female Sun

Fixed element of Sulphur. Parents are patient and affectionate. Will find those same qualities within. Expect lessons dealing with community and groups to surface. Examine your own role within groups. Do you need to do more than you are? Do you need to be more protective Do you need to cooperate more? Avoids confrontations. Leave the scene of danger if possible. Be stealthy for the greatest success. There will be opportunity to awaken to a new sun. Trust your feminine energies - creativity, intuition, and imagination. Don’t be afraid to roar if you feel threatened or intruded upon.

Deer – Gentleness and Innocence – Gentle Luring to New Adventures

They have been able to adapt to every sort of habitat. Buddha is often pictured with a deer. Antlers are symbols of antennae, connections to higher forms of attunement. Look for new perceptions and degrees of perceptions to expand for as much as the next five years. Can indicate that there will be opportunities to stimulate gentle new growth increasingly over the next few years. Leads us back to the primal wisdom. A deer’s senses are very acute. Find increasing ability to detect subtle movements and appearances. Begin to hear what may not be said directly. Time to be gentle with yourself and others. A new innocence and freshness is about to be awakened or born. There is going to be a gentle, enticing lure of new adventures. Are you trying to force things? Are others? Are you being too critical and uncaring of yourself? An opportunity to express gentle love that will open new doors to adventure for you.