S4EP1: Day by Day (by Day by Day)

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true!

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It is…Sunday, March 20, Two-Thousand and Twenty-New. Time...Awakening.

Theme – One Step at a Time [Or, Each as it Comes]

This was a difficult choice t make. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it for most of the week. There were many runners up. But as I review the week, this is something that came up repeatedly. It was mostly in an attempt to keep me sane, I think. It’s so easy, in a situation like this [any really,] to get way out in front of yourself. Trying to solve problems that haven’t happened yet. Trying to plan and prepare ahead of the game. But, in situations like this, things flip-flop all the time. Every day, at odd times, something random will shift. The trick, I suppose, is to see that in the moment, all is well. From there, all you can do is deal with each moment as it comes and not a second sooner.

Lesson – Give Thanks First

I remember being told once that the difference between the likes of Jesus and Moses and all the rest of us is that they gave thanks for the miracle/blessings first. They knew they would receive it and gave thanks in advance. This is what made their miracles so potent. This is an attitude I have been trying to embrace lately. “Do you believe it can be done?” If you do indeed believe it, then giving thanks before you see it happening shouldn’t be much of a stretch.

Observation – Investing

This came about due to a conversation about stock investing, but is only partially about finances. I’ve been wanting to put money into some stocks for some time now. It was actually he original plan for The Special Fund when I started doing it two years ago. But, The Special Fund has gone towards vacations and special things with The Princesses time and time again. That’s exactly what happened this time around. But, I am always saying, “As soon as I am caught up…as soon as I take care of this or that.” Still, it is something I have not put myself into as of yet. Now, seems an awkward time to consider such a thing. But, it is something that doesn’t have to be done in big ways at a time. It is something that can be eased into a little bit at a time. I’m not saying that I have made a choice one way or the other at this moment. It’s just an Observation. To deepen it, I looked at how ‘Investing’ could be applied to other areas of my life. I am really investing in myself? Am I doing the things I need to do for me? This isn’t just working and income. I do chase that. [I just don’t always chase it properly.] This is not to say that I can’t do better for myself in ways. But am I investing in my knowledge? My Health? My mind? Am I investing in my soul? [This is going to take some serious contemplation.] Another good question is how am I investing myself? What do I do? How do I spend my time? Does what I do build things up – even if slowly? Or am I seeing losses?

The Post

I could tell already by Monday that this was going to be quite the week. [And, though it is only Tuesday] I am feeling as though this is a week best told day by day.

Just Another Manic Monday

I woke up Monday ready to face the world. I had myself fairly prepped and ready to go for the day before I even went to sleep on Sunday. Though I was running just a little behind, I found that there was a bit of a spring in my step. I felt good. I felt confident. I felt hopeful and certain.

I got out the door about 15 minutes later than I had wanted to [but that’s not bad considering I also got up 30 minutes later.] I started my day pretty much right away. I usually wait until I am closer to the other side of The Valley near Olde Geistopia. Sometimes, though, I recognize that I must break out of patterns of comfort and ease and challenge myself a little differently. Turning my apps on before I am out of town almost certainly means having to deliver in town. It also means greater potential for packages and grocery orders. These are all things I generally try to avoid. Delivering in town is nothing but a hassle. It’s hard to find streets – especially the smaller side streets. Being able to stop the car and get out to deliver can be a hassle. Easier to get stuck in traffic, etc, etc. And you never know what you are really in for with packages and groceries. I took one yesterday that had me making 3 trips minimum back and forth from Shuttle to porch.

I also took a few jobs for under $5. Something else I try not to do. I even took a job or two for which the mileage was greater than the fare. I usually try to keep it at about $1 per mile.

The first time I parked between runs I started taking care of business. One of my things to do was to call the car dealership and give them my status and ask some questions. I left a voicemail and moved on.

The morning felt slow, but all things considered, I only came in a little under what I had projected for the day.

Anyway, the morning went on and I was bebopping along doing my thing. Suddenly, a call came in from the dealership. My day was about to shift drastically. They have done all they can do, but with my situation, they can’t get a bank to even talk to me without $10,000 down. The man was very apologetic and sincere. I was very upbeat. There was nothing to feel bad about. Everything Happens for a Reason – Precise & Perfectly Placed.

That was easy to say in the moment, but a little harder to carry forward with me into my day. I was trying to focus on what I was doing. I was trying not to worry. But I could feel myself starting to shut down slightly from panic. This changed the game entirely. I now needed to start from square one – figure out my options and next best choice. No matter what I pursue, in the end it will come down to money and finances.

Towards the end of lunch I had to pull over and stop. I was becoming tired from the struggle. Part of me was remaining diligent and resilient – doing what I set out to do for the day. Another part of me was suddenly enveloped in panic and fear. I used all of my techniques and thoughts. I talked my way through it. Still, in the end, the only way to get myself balanced and centered once more was to stop and let everything shut down completely. I needed to take however many moments were needed, shut off, and just let whatever magicks, energies, healings that needed to happen…happen.

It was deep and hard to come out of, but I managed it. I worked the rest of lunch and a little beyond. I ran to The Cave to find a tie for Tuesday night and take stock oh what I need to do there.

I wasn’t feeling the work thing anymore. I was very wiped out and I was starting to feel the need for a Ritual Bath. But, I still had quite a bit of money to make in order to stay on point for the day – and the rest of the week. I wrestled back and forth and finally resolved it all with one of the recently established ‘deals’ – leave the apps on until such and such a point and then be done. I did get a few more gigs before closing the day out – still a little shy of the goal.

Somewhere in my day I stopped at the Member Club and picked up a case of soda and got gas. I popped in to see if The Putter was around. He wasn’t. Nonetheless, I headed back to The Nest. I managed a parking spot in The Lot, which spares the Shuttle from ticketing and such nonsense. [I’m glad I did, too. Never would I have thought I would still be sitting here at almost 1000 on Tuesday morning.]

I muddled through my night. I had a list of tasks and I set out to complete them – dishes, blog post, dinner, Tuesday prep, and of course a Ritual Bath. I even took the time to start a GoFundMe. Let it be known that I am still not a fan of this path. I don’t like it one bit. Still, it resonates with me. It is a step I was supposed to take – for whatever reason.

I want to mention the bath a moment. The Ritual Bath is not only about relaxation. It is also healing and meditation. I have had many visions during these times. It becomes a vortex. What seems like forever is but a matter of moments and what feels like it was just the blinking of an eye is always longer than I would have imagined.

There was a lot of this Monday night, but there was something that really stood out to me. Randomly during one of my in/out moments I heard the name Methuselah. I knew this name but I could not tell you from where I knew it. It rang within me.

The reason this is standing out to me is because I remembered it. So much of my vision and dreamtime is a blur. I know it happens. That is not in question. But, very rarely do I remember what happened. I only ever know that it happened. So, when I am able to carry something out with me it catches my attention right quick.

At cursory internet glance, the first thing I notice is that Methuselah is the son of Enoch [and the grandfather of Noah, or some such thing.] I have to do more research to better understand his role and how his energies work. However, I would like to point out that, yet once again, it is not the Divine Father who reaches out to me. It is always the Chosen Son: Jesus, Horus, Ganesha, Apollo, Triton…Methuselah.

I did start it and it has been seeing some activity. All I need do now is let it do it’s thing until it is time for it to do its thing – whatever and whenever that will be.

I managed my Ritual Bath. I’m so glad I did. It was much needed and, again, I found myself shutting down. Again, it was a struggle to return from it. I managed to start a [unsuccessful] game session. [Disc issues.] I went to bed feeling content, despite the recent crashing waves. I had gotten things done and straightened up. I made lists and plans to guide me through the week. I was ready to take on Tuesday and whatever was going to come next.

Two-for Tuesday – The Early Part

For as perfectly as Monday night seemed to go – I was precisely on time with everything I wanted to get done and when I thought it would be – Tuesday started very rocky.

I woke a little later than intended. But, I also set the alarm earlier in anticipation of this. I started my day but nothing was clear to me. I was struggling to figure out exactly what I was doing. I was prepping to go out on the road but I was slowly collapsing inward.

As I pushed and pushed to get to my working day I found that my body was becoming more and more tense. I was actually starting to hurt. My mind had become so clouded that I could actually see the cloud around me. Nothing was clear or in focus. I was feeling broken. All I wanted to do was just curl up in a ball on the floor.

I know this feeling. It usually means that I am doing something ‘wrong.’ I am fighting the flow in some way – going against the grain.

It took some self-convincing, but I decided to take Tuesday ‘off.’ I decided it would be best if I took care of all the miscellaneous chores and tasks such as grocery shopping and laundry. Then they would be done and not serve as a distraction over the rest of the week.

Tuesday seemed the perfect day for it. I had my meeting scheduled at night. Plus, part of the reason I was having difficulty moving into my day was I had wanted to start this writing. I couldn’t quite get myself to it. Hell, even after I had decided this was how my day would go, I still struggled with just sitting down and doing it. I was up and down taking care of this and that along the way.

I really do think a lot of what is happening is meant to help me focus on me. I am always so scattered - chasing a life that has yet to be – that I don’t really focus on, or enjoy, anything. Every Act is an Act of Magick and I have been missing out on the smaller, simpler magicks of my life.

I feel as though this is a major crossroads for me. (Perhaps a Moment of Ascension.) I believe it is going to take everything I have learned over the years in order to navigate my way through this successfully. I need to remind myself of, and adhere to, all of the Principles, Lessons, Themes, and Observations. I will need to monitor and gauge, both, my Intention and Commitment. I must pull on every possible Resource – Mind, Body, and Spirit. I must play The Game like I have never played it before.

As I wrote on Tuesday morning I found myself having one of my Deja-Vu moments. Only this time I would actually call part of it Deja-Vu. It started as it always does – with a moment when all of the senses come together at once. It is never just a sound or a visual that triggers these moments. It only happens when all things come together and are recognized simultaneously. Time stops. I think to myself, “I’ve seen this before.” I say this because I never feel as if I have done it before or lived the moment before. I simply recognize it. I have seen it before – in a dream, in a vision, before coming into this life. I have seen it and so I know it belongs.

On Tuesday though, it took a slight twist. I had my moment of recognition. “I’ve seen this. It belongs. It is right.” But then it expanded into feeling as though I have had this moment before. I believe this is because I did. It is not too long ago that I found myself in the exact same moment. I was devoting my time to working on the blog. So, I was seated at the desk typing away at the laptop. Pink Floyd was playing on the TV to my right. I looked up and all the senses came together and I thought, “I’ve seen this before. This is right. This is what I am supposed to be doing [for whatever reason.]”

That is twice in a very brief amount of time that I have had the same experience – the same revelation. What is it The Universe is trying to get through to me presently? Somewhere in that answer is The Key to getting through it all.

Having gotten myself caught up with plans and with writing, it was finally time to face the rest of my day. Let’s see what that will all be about… (finished 1013 3/15/2022)

Two-fer Tuesday – The Later Part

The rest of this day was very different than anything I had projected – in any way.

So, I had decided to take the bump in the road that morning and just kind of slow down and tweak things into their places. The plan had become to work lunch and what part of dinner I could before The Meeting. Just as I was finishing up and preparing to leave I got a text from Lil Boss saying that the landlord and electrician would be to The Nest in 30 minutes.

Plans changed.

The electrician has been a thing. They had Code stuff to take care of previously and it was a thing then. Now they had to come back to check their Code thing cause something wasn’t right. Whenever they come it is extremely short notice. It’s not so much that I have to be here but there is stuff to move out of the way before he comes. So, part one of the new plan was to move said stuff, then wait, and move it back.

I realized that my delayed morning served me a purpose. If I had been out on the road delivering and gotten that text I would have been severely irrigated…

JOHNNY: Uh…Reverend, I think you mean irritated. ‘Irrigated’ has to do with water and wet.

That’s what I’m sayin’. I would have been pissed off.

Anyway, now there was a big glitch in the day’s system. I needed to decide how I was going to rectify it and make the most of the day as I could. After much contemplation, I decided that it was now a good day to do all of ‘the other stuff,’ all of the miscellaneous stuff that would otherwise put a strain on my days and my week. The things that would hang over my head, casting a lingering shadow, until they were complete – groceries, laundry, and possibly wash the car.

Plan B, Part 2 – Errand Day.

That is exactly what I did. It took me several hours – right up until it was time to leave for The Meeting, in fact. It took me all day, but I got the laundry done, stopped at two grocery stores for weekend supplies, stopped at the tobacco store, and [after seeing the painfully long line] decided to hold off on the car wash.

I cam home and put all of the groceries away. This was a task because I really stocked up this week. I am expecting extra mouths and we have meal/snack plans. I just wanted to make sure that there was enough for everybody. I didn’t want those sorts of concerns for this weekend.

I folded the laundry and put it away, choosing some outfits for the week as I did.

I even started cleaning, because cleaning The Nest was on that list of miscellaneous nuisances. It was time. I started with the kitchen. I wiped out some cabinets. I organized the food ‘inventory.’ I even emptied the fridge, wiping each shelf and compartment, getting rid of the waste and putting the rest back. As I said, this all took me up until my time of departure for The Meeting.

This is something that is so very curious to me – The Meeting. The Meeting…now.

The Meeting and The Meeting House are a very potent presence in my life. Curious. But potent nonetheless. It is a difficult thing to share, describe, explain because it is all so very personal for me. The Journey there, the Journey through it, and my Journey since – all very personal. That is precisely how it should be for everyone who attends.

It is true that many of the men who come to The Meeting House do so out of family Obligation. There fathers came to The Meeting House. Their grandfathers came. Perhaps it was even an uncle. Family traditions are important. This is a very good reason to attend The Meeting House.

For me, it was different. My family was not so much involved. I would learn eventually that I did have an uncle who attended for many years. But I didn’t find that out until after he had stopped. For me, the ideas of The Meeting House have been with me since the beginning of my Spiritual Adventure. From the very outset of it all they have made their presence known – and always at the most appropriate moments. In every town I have visited, they have found me. [Or made sure I found them.] Every significant moment I can recall is either followed [or preceeded] by their presence.

This was happening long before I would knock on The Meeting House door for the first and third times. I’ll be honest. At first, I was not pleased with their presence. I did not know what to make of these energies. Over time, I came to appreciate them very much – to the point of revelry.

My Journey since I first entered The Meeting House has been different than I had expected [or perhaps hoped] but it has been very intense nonetheless. Never has a path spoken to me so clearly. Still, I will tell you that I don’t really understand a fraction of a percent of it all. But, I know it resonates with me. I know that it makes sense. And I know that I know what it is, even without knowing. [There is a story to accentuate this. But, it is not one for now.]

Anyway, I went to The Meeting and it was intense to say the least. I went totally Other-Worldly while I was there. I almost always go into ‘Vision Quest’ mode when I enter The Meeting House, in particularly for meetings. But this was…wow. That’s all I got. [Imagine that. Two days later and still all I have is “wow.”]

The best I could tell you is that while I am at The Meeting House it is the closest I feel to G-d outside of my own sacred space and the experience is the definition of my relationship with Spirit. I go when I’m told to go. I do what I’m told to do. Then somehow things seem to balance. I always leave feeling stronger – more empowered – in some way.

One of my biggest take aways this night was – It Doesn’t Matter. It doesn’t matter if I participate in any particular way. It only matters that I am present. If participation happens, well ok then. But in as much as I can get there, my presence is a must. It doesn’t matter if I hold all of my fellow attendees dearly and is if I have known them deeply for years. It only matters that I treat each and every one [and their households] as If I always have. It doesn’t matter if I learn the work as it is instructed, nor if I pull it off with the perfection dictated. It only matters that I do work and take something from it – learn, grow, better myself.

It was very nice to go back. It has been three years since I have been able to attend. I am glad to attend any time. But…now? Here I am only two weeks away from, literally, G-d only knows what…and now I should return to The Meeting House?

Three things came of The Meeting. First, there was a private agreement that has helped keep me in balance at this particular time. Second, I received an invitation to come and, I guess, re-invest myself. This was at my request. I had brought the matter up previously, but now I was receiving an official invitation to come and do so – this coming Monday night.

The third was another meeting. This was a different kind of meeting – something altogether different. But, I do have a connection to it and I knew it was no coincidence that this meeting, to be held on Wednesday, was announced on Tuesday. The thing that stood out to me the most was the fact that it is almost always on a Saturday. So, not only was it moving to a Wednesday…it was moving to this Wednesday, the next night. A night I just happened to have no plans. I knew I had to attend long before I was given no choice.

The plan would be the same as the original plan for Tuesday – go out and work until it is time to attend The Meeting. And, that is what I did…mostly.

Whack-ado Wednesday

For the most part…Wednesday SUCKED!

Wednesday is the day that almost broke me.

That’s what I have to say on that.

I was struggling and fighting all morning. Well, not all morning. I was up at 0500. I decided to clean since I was not able to finish the night before. I figured if I got through most of it and left the floor until later I would be fine. [I did the floors too.] I got out on the road a little later than I had planned but not late enough to be concerned.

But, I was struggling – internally to get moving. I was doing it and I was getting ready. But inside something was just pulling me away from all of that. I fought it and I struggled. It is true, I have a host of things to do and many of them have been ‘assignments’ through this latest circumstance. But, I also have money to make. The clock is ticking. Shutting down now was not the best plan.

My other hiccup of the morning was that I couldn’t find Shamus. For those Fellow Travelers who have never met him – Shamus is my stick of sticks. He is the grandfather of them all. He was my very first stick and there could never be a personal totem that is as much a part of me as he is. He has a spirit of his own. One which I would never even think of trying to limit or control. The one thing I’ve learned about Shamus over the years is if I just let him do his thing he does it so well.

I couldn’t find him. He’s been going everywhere with me lately – even to The Meeting House – and now I couldn’t find him. I was positive I had brought him in. I could see it in my mind’s eye. Still, I didn’t see him then and it was time to go. [I wasn’t about to play a game of hide and seek with the old man.] The only other alternative was that he chose to stay at The Meeting House.

Truthfully, this wouldn’t be the first time that he pulled such shenanigans. Staying behind, or disappearing as I like to call it, has sort of become his Modus Operandi. He has disappeared to friends many times, staying in their company just long enough before we could meet up. He has disappeared to associates more than once and for varying amounts of time. He’s disappeared for a few days at a time. In fact, once he disappeared for two weeks before letting me know where he was. I thought for certain he was gone forever and here he was playing reindeer games.

Nonetheless, he was in one of two places and the only way I could know for sure, without causing undue stress and strain to me day and myself, was to go to The Meeting House that night. [You can laugh. I did.]

Still…Wednesday SUCKED!!

All morning long I was fighting with my phone – the most important part of my work day. On and off all day, at various times and in random places, I would lose my cellular connection. It would happen while I was sitting idle waiting for fares. It would happen in the middle of pickups and deliveries. If my phone isn’t connected I can’t get work. Furthermore, in some of those instances, I couldn’t ‘complete’ the work I had done.

If it wasn’t that issue it was something else. For whatever reason, that morning, there was something wonky with the device connections. My phone was recognizing the vehicle console. It was playing navigation through it. But everything else came through on the phone itself, which wasn’t playing through the speaker because it was recognizing the console. So, all morning long I was not hearing the audible alerts and missing work.

“That’s what you get for forcing yourself out the door,” I thought. It was truly enough to make me want to quit for the day. I did not.

Instead, I adjusted. I met the Lil Boss at The Theatre to get a recipe from her for the weekend. She also gave me some of the more important, and therefore expensive, items to use. We talked about my situation and where I am at. It is the first anyone at The Theatre has heard the latest news. She gave me a car lead to follow as well as the name and number of a good Chinese place for dinner on Saturday.

So, I leave The Theatre with refrigerated items and about 9 hours until I get home. I stuck them in one of my heavily insulated bags for work and set about my day. I’d figure it out along the way. Part of me wanted take it right to The Nest, but I knew if I did that I wasn’t going to want to leave again – not even for The Meeting.

I decided that if I got a delivery that took me close enough to The Nest I would just swing by. The very next order that came in was precisely that. With just a little tweak of the directions I could swing by, run to the refrigerator and still be right around the corner from the drop off. One minute tops. [Two with the ‘extra’ travel time.]

This made it so The Nest was not my last stop and therefore kept me on the road. I had a better afternoon than morning, but overall still a weak-ish day. I stayed out and worked until about 30-45 minutes before The Meeting. As I said, The Meeting House is always a Divine experience for me and therefore I must put myself in ‘Divine’ space before entering.

I’ll save you the curiosity – yes, Shamus left himself at The Meeting House. [What better way to make sure I returned?] The Meeting was whatever t The Meeting was. I’m still not sure why it was so important for me to be there. I do have a connection. It is something the girls used to do but had to stop due to my own problems three years ago.

Interesting thing about Wednesday. Earlier in the day, I was leaving a pick-up and there was a young woman holding a “Homeless” sign. I thought about giving her some cash. The thing about these folks is that I don’t automatically ignore them and block them out of my mind. I don’t automatically give though either. I wait for the inspiration (the spirit within) to strike me. If it doesn’t, I give a blessing and move on.

Well, it did strike me. I only had two $1 in my wallet. As I pulled closer to the young woman, I wrestled with what to give her. I had 2 but I seemed to want to hold on to 1 of them. I had a hard time with this. When the poor old woman put all of her money into the collection at Temple, Jesus said something about it being truly in faith. [Sorry, not doing accurate research at the moment.] Anyway, his point was that she gave all that she had in the moment knowing that G-d would return that to her and more. I’ve had this debate before and I gave money to the angel but held back $2 for myself. [A little while later my car would be towed and I would find myself stranded in Philly for the day.]

Still, I wanted to hold on to the 1 dollar.

I needed it for Wednesday’s meeting. It is a group to help guide young ladies as they grow into young women. Like I said, both of The Princesses had done it. Anyway, at these particular meetings they do a small fundraiser. They pass around one tin bucket. Put money in the bucket and receive a piece of candy out of the second tin bucket. It’s tradition. [I like tradition.]

Anyway, after The [2nd] Meeting I had to stop at The Baker’s and attend to some business with Andy Pandy. A little cash received for some work done. I returned to The Nest and proceeded to pass out.

Thorazinie Thursday

Thursday was an odd day. It was only just yesterday and I can’t really remember it. I got up and hit the day. I know that much. I was out a little later than I wanted but still early enough to catch some fares before the ebb between breakfast and lunch.

I can’t stress enough how trippy driving has been for me lately. It is like a whole other world or existence. I noticed on Thursday just how ‘right’ it feels to be doing it. I like my driving work. I really do. It makes me money. Even though I do the same thing every day and very often go to the same place [for both pick-up and delivery] every day is different. I get to know people – have a bit of rapport – without knowing them so well that idiosyncrasies and quirks become irritating in either direction. I am in total control of my day. I work when I want to and stop when I need to. I take the fares I want and pass on the ones I don’t – or can’t do in the moment. These can be hard calls to make. Every driver has his or her own guidelines for driving. I didn’t always, but I have learned to create some [after chatting with other drivers.]

For instance, one driver I spoke to has a ‘10/10’ rule. Nothing under $10 or over 10 miles. Now this is a driver who is doing this on the side. I can safely assume this because in our area there is a lot of work that is over 10 miles. Also, Most of my fares are under $10. So, her rule can’t apply in my situation. But I also heard something else along the way that I could put into place. $1 per mile. That’s what I look for now. It’s usually a give or take thing, but it’s a good guideline. Especially for the longer drives. Though I do look at it from time to time for shorter deliveries as well.

My other standard is generally – nothing under $5. I don’t usually move for less than that. Of course, there are always exceptions. If I am already moving about and it is on my way – sure. If I am particularly bored at the moment – OK. If I am having a slower day and just want to fill the pot a bit more – absolutely.

So the rules are nothing under $5 and $1 per mile. The other standard I have is that I do not like to deliver downtown/Center City. Basically, anything North-East of 15th street is like taboo to me. First, it’s always a farther drive. Traffic is horrendous. I sat for 15 minutes in the same long line of traffic because a school was letting out and my drop-off was a block and a half straight in front of me. It’s harder to park for deliveries. Parking itself can be scarce and I do not like double parking even for a minute. [I’ll do it if I have to but I do not like it.] Also, I am Parallel Parking Challenged. I honestly do not have the depth perception to do it proper. So, I will deliver in town – I just avoid it when I can.

[Also, once in town it is very hard to get out. I’ve gotten stuck in a set of deliveries downtown more than once.]

These are always hard calls to make. Every choice affects the course the day. I can take a fare and end up with a bunch more before it is done. I can take a fare and get nothing afterwards. I can take a long fare and pick up some extra unexpected deliveries before I return or I can take that same long fare and just do a lot of driving for a little. It’s not so much a matter of where you are but when you are. You have to be in the right place at the right time…and you just can’t control that. Every fare is a 50/50 gamble. It will either turn out to be profitable or it will end up being more trouble than it was worth.

Nonetheless, the point being, that I do enjoy it and it feels so natural and right in my life. I have prayed over and over again that this not be taken from me. From where I stand at the moment that does not look very hopeful. But, inside, it feels as though I will somehow continue on. It not only makes me money but it brings me peace. No other work has managed both.

So, put my day in.

Originally, there had been a safety meeting scheduled for Thursday. The Professor wanted to come down and hang with everyone. I agreed to it because I do not know when I will be able to again after next week. I stressed, though, that I couldn’t attend until after two when lunch was done. The other reason I agreed to it was because I already had to stop at Olde Geistopia to deal with some trash and such in The Cave [and that had to be done Thursday.]

Before the time came, Professor had to cancel the meeting. I decided to keep my day as it was. I finished up lunch and stopped at the store for some miscellaneous groceries I forgot on the big trip. [And I still have like 3 things to pick up lol.] I even managed to grab something to settle up some things with The Putter. Nothing big. $13. But, it is something I have been wanting to do for a few weeks and I have been putting it off until ‘better times.’ I decided I wanted it done now before I may find myself stuck in place.

I didn’t actually see The Putter [and that was good.] I left the package by his shop and sent him a text. I took care of my stuff at Olde Geistopia and headed back to The Nest. I had a list of things I needed to focus on. I had another reading to do. It was ritual bath night. I wanted to catch up with the writing, update my GoFundMe, and so on and so forth.

Everything is a blur and the time seemed to go by so quickly. I only got some of it done. In the end, I wrote until I couldn’t write anymore. Then I slept. I still have some dishes in the sink. I need to do my bath. I need to cleanse The Nest. The reading can wait a moment or two. But now I must face Friday with those things to do and a whole list of other matters to address.

Something that has been coming out of all of this is the flow of things. I am worried and stressed and tense. I am pushing to keep making money and at the same time try to find and figure out how to get a vehicle. I am starting to think about what kinds of jobs to apply for so I am not out of work for too long.

Yet, despite all of my pushing and planning and preparing I feel like I am getting nowhere in every area.

At the same time, little things are happening along the way. Professor wants a reading. Bert-On wants a house cleansing. He doesn’t need it until June but wants to pay me now to help my current efforts. Bassett Hound has some work for me in about a week or so. The Rox reached out and told me I could come back to The College and keep working at that project. [Of course, this is going to depend on my mobility.]

My Goal for the next week is to just let things flow – as they will. It has been stressed twice this week that this is a Quest. And it does have all the markers of one. So, I must enter Quest mode where the only thing I know is that I don’t actually know anything. I have to let myself be led and guided just as I have so many times on the road. I have to tune in to that inner knowing and go with what feels right in any moment. I have to follow the leads as they are laid out before me. One by one, Each as it Comes.

Do not Worry About Tomorrow for Tomorrow Shall Take Care of Itself.

I have so many thoughts and feelings on what is going on at the moment. I could write volumes more, but I have written quite enough at this point. I am sure that Friday, Saturday, and Sunday will all be filled with moments and stories. But, for now, I am going to let those become something of their own. This is where I sign off for the week, Fellow Travelers. I still have The Trinity and The Totems to plug in, but other than that this post is ready to go.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**

Goose - The Call of the Quest and Travels to Legendary Places

A totem reflecting a stimulation of the childhood thrill and belief in stories and legendary places. These stories either reflected an imprint for for this life or they may have even imprinted you with certain seed ideas. Also be a totem to aid you in communication especially through the use of stories. Individuals wishing to write - be it stories or anything - can facilitate this process by working with the goose as a totem. It will stimulate the imagination and and help ove you through creative blocks. Also a symbol of fertility and marital fidelity. It may reflect a need for more vegetables in the diet, and maybe even becoming a vegetarian for a while. It reflects an ability to move forward or backward. It reflects movement, and a call to the spiritual quest. Stirs our imagination and makes us want to seek out new worlds and dimensions. Calling us to follow them on the great spiritual quest. It speaks of the fulfilled promises that great quests bring. Epitomizes the mystery of migration. Reminds us that as any one individual mass his or her quest, it becomes easier for others to do so as well. Reminding us that we should not undertake any quest in life without having a full view of what it entails. In this way the journey is facilitated for others. Reflects an opening to new possibilities. New directions and new possibilities. Reflects an openness to new ideas. Usually indicates we are about to affix ourselves to a new path. Reflects great fertility that should be acted upon if growth is desired. Greater vision, physical and spiritual, will occur. Can reflect that you are about to break free of old childhood restraints and begin to come into your own. You can expect to have the imagination stirred towards new travels to distant places - whether in the body or mind.

Hawk - Visionary Power and Guardianship.

Messengers, protectors and visionaries. Visionary power and leading you to your life purpose. There is a message coming. What you eat, you become. Kundalini. Childhood visions are becoming empowered and fulfilled. The ability to soar and glide upon the currents. Great Heights while still keeping your feet on the ground. Attacks by people who won’t understand you - attack your ability to soar. Teaching of higher expression of psychosis and vision. Beauty and harmony in moderation. Lead you to using your creative energy in manifesting your soul purpose. Hope and new ideas. A need to be open to the new or shows ways that you may help teach others to be open to the new. Be observant. Life is sending signals. Careful in expression. Comments and actions will be strong and powerful with the ability to tear and/or kill.

Vulture - Purification - Death and Rebirth - New Vision.

A guardian to the mysteries of life and death and the road of salvation. A coming time when you will be noticed more for what you do than how you appear. You will probably start to see auras and energies around people and things. Distributing one’s energy so that gravity does not weigh and hold one down - be it the actual gravity of the earth or the gravity of mundane situations and experiences. Associated with higher forms of discrimination. Assist you in developing your own sense of ‘smell’ that you can use effectively in all areas of your life. Aromatherapy. Changes in the digestive system. Pay attention to how you feel physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually after eating various foods. Acting rather than talking. May take as much as three months before an individual begins to truly move past the death stage to rebirth. A promise that the suffering of the immediate was temporary and necessary for a higher purpose was at work. Reflects that no matter how difficult the life conditions, rescue is imminent in your life.

Eagle - Illumination of Spirit, Healing, and Creation.

Balance of being of the Earth, but not in it. The soul, the spirit, and warmth of life. The resurrection. Punishment and reward. Greater sight and perception. Reflects an awakening ability or the need to learn to walk between worlds. Heroic nobility and divine spirit. The rediscovery of the inner child. Alchemy. Involvement with creativity. A willingness to experience extremes in a controlled condition. A willingness to use your passions to purify and to use your abilities, even if you get scorched a little in the process. The need to stay connected to and use things of the Earth. Important to know when to speak, how much, how strongly. New vision will open. The ability to hear - spiritually and physically - may also increase. Cooperative responsibility. A healing role. Opportunities (even those thought long lost) will arise - learn to see and snatch them up. A new sense of timing and movement will begin to develop Primal force inherent and easily awakened. Take on the responsibility and the power of becoming so much more than you now appear to be. Events will now fly faster, repercussions for everything you think, do and say (or fail to) - positive and negative - will be both stronger and quicker. A powerful new dimension to life and a heightened responsibility for your spiritual growth. Touch all of life with healing and become the mediator and the bearer of new creative forces within the world.

Cardinal - Renewed Vitality through Recognizing Self-Importance

They remind us that, regardless of the time of day or year, we always have the opportunity to renew our own vitality and recognize our own life roles. Whistles are often reminders to listen closely - to pay attention to what is blowing on the winds. Reflects that we should be listening to the inner voice (the feminine) more closely for our own health and well-being. Almost always reflects a need to assert the feminine aspects of creativity and intuition more strongly. Can reflect a need to b more careful about your diet, that what you are eating may be injurious to yourself and affecting your overall vitality. Reflects the rhythm of 12 that is going to become more predominant within your own life. Reflects lessons associated with responsibility and the recognition of the task at hand. May reflect past-life connections with the church, or even a reviving of more traditional religious beliefs, regardless of denomination. Remind us to add color to our lives, and remember that everything is of importance.

Fox - Feminine Magic of Camouflage, Shapeshifting and Invisibility.

New world opening up. The process of creation is beginning. Guide to enter the Faerie Realm. Unless a male can recognize the magic of the feminine - in himself or others - and learn to use it to Shapeshifting his own life, it will ultimately lead to destruction. The Kundalini, and the freeing of the creative life force. Practicing and using camouflage. Working to blend in with surroundings, to come and go unnoticed, moving silently about without revealing your intentions. Learning to control the aura. Adjust its frequency and intensity so that you harmonize more with others. Levels of energy and fertility. If the focus stays on the creative energies, any sharp turn in the individual’s life will be handled with ease. Fox people have the ability to insulate themselves from anything that may seem cold, especially in relationships. Can appear larger than they are - for personal protection or for making greater impressions. Establish a trotting pace. Ability to move into new directions. Call upon new resources instinctively. Excellent ability to hear what is not being said. The ability to hear spirit. Size people up accurately. Develop the ability to see spirit. Aromatherapy. Awakening of the Kundalini. Higher forms of discrimination and discernment. Capture any prize.

Mouse - Attention to Detail.

It is either time to pay attention to details, or an indication that you cannot see the forest for the trees. You may be getting so locked into details that you forget the big picture. Are you taking care of the trivial, yet necessary, things of life? Are you getting so lost in big dreams that you are neglecting other aspects of your life? Are you becoming so focused on one or two activities that you are neglecting other opportunities? Are you missing what is right in front of you? Is there something obvious that you are missing or need to focus on? Are you trying to do too many things at once and therefore scattering your energies? Mouse can show how to pay attention to detail; how to attain the big things by working on the little things. Lessons associated with attention.