S7EP7: Welcome to Dreamland

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true!

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

Looch

The Bassett Hound

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason

St. Diane & You (3)

Brother John

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Cousins

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, September 18, Two-Thousand and Twenty-New. Time...---------

Theme – Perseverance

Whatever you are trying to do, that is what it takes. I have quit many things many times in my life, and, let me tell you, nothing gets done that way. Likewise, when push has come to shove – those times it has been most needed – I have rolled up my sleeves and kept at it.

This is not to say that one must work at something tirelessly. It is not to say that delays won’t happen naturally on their own. Sometimes, walking away for a moment is the best thing that can be done.

It matters not what you wish to accomplish. Just keep at it. The trickiest puzzle can be solved with a little time, patience, and Perseverance. I have been on the same path for over 2 decades – working towards, what seems, an unachievable Goal. Yet, I keep at it. The truth is, even when I quit, I somehow always find myself back on the very same path, heading once more towards that endlessly distant horizon. One day what needs to happen will happen and I will find myself where I set out to be.

[And, then, I probably won’t know what to do with myself.]

Lesson – Think Small

Again, I know this is the opposite of everything our society preaches and teaches.

Think big. Dream big. Go big or go home.

All of those words have merit and worth. This is just slightly different. Think Small in the realm of G-d…The Universe…Magick…Blessings.

I can only imagine that so very many folks think my life has been wasted – that my thoughts and beliefs may be foolish. I wouldn’t blame them. I think it from time to time. *sings* “What kind of fool am I?” I mean, look at where my life has me. Homeless and living out of a vehicle; Working everyday and still barely scraping by; losing teeth, It’s true. My life is nothing close to what it “should” be – especially at 50.

Now, I have had some significant blessings. None of which you would be aware unless you were paying attention at the time. But I have had several moments in my life when I would just have to revel in the blessings I received. They were that important to me at the time. And, no, I have not experienced any completely life-altering blessings. The kind that just blow everyone’s mind.

However, what I have had is countless little blessings. Sometimes just the slightest sliver of a blessing...a glimpse…a notion. They come in the simplest of ways. It could be something like finding a few dollars that I needed. Or it could be the ability to make a left hand turn at a particularly challenging intersection. Or getting a very close parking space. Or making Just Enough money in a day to do what needs to be done. Blessings are the things that make our lives easier, even just slightly. Blessings brighten our days.

So, I look at my life, and I must admit, “Aye, tis tragic.”

*pseudo-dramatic* Woe...oh…oh…woe is me.

But that is not what I see. When I look back on my life – that past 25 years of it – I see this endless and steady stream of daily blessings. I have been blessed time and time again, over and over again. It happens in the simplest and slightest of ways, and I acknowledge it each and every time. Sometimes to myself. Sometimes out loud. But, the blessings come. They come in all shapes and sizes. They come at random, yet appropriate times. Sometimes, they even come dressed, first, as curses. Still, the blessings come. When I see that string of blessings, how can I not believe in more?

So, if you want to gauge your place in The Universe., if you wish to know if you have the grace of G-d, then do not look at the big things. Instead, watch for the little things – the most minute of moments.

Think Small.

Observation – If You Don’t Believe Me, Just Try It

Speaking of my thoughts and my beliefs…

Seriously, if you doubt me, try it out for yourself. Do not take my word for it. But do not dismiss it either. At least, not without giving it a go yourself.

Count the little blessings, even if they seem silly. Watch for the Synchronicity – the moments that are just too coincidental. Pay attention to the animals that cross your path [in some form or another.] Listen to your body. Listen to your inner voice. Record your dreams. Pay attention for those little moments – the “things that make you go hmmm.”

We all experience it, Fellow Travelers. More constant than we may realize. But, we all have the same symbiotic relationship with The Universe, and it is constantly working with and through us. I do not believe the things I do because I read them in a book or because they sound neat. I believe them because I have seen them in action – more than once. So…

If You Don’t Believe Me, Just Try It.

The Post

*sings* I dreamed a dream in times gone by. When hope was high and life worth living…

WALT: *sings* I dreamed that love would never die…

JOHNNY: sings* I dreamed that G-d would be forgiving.

It’s true, Fellow Travelers. I have always been a dreamer.

DOC: *sings* You know I’m a dreamer. But my heart’s uv gold. I had to run avay high, so I vouldn’t come home low.

Alright. Done with the diddies.

DOC: How come eweryvun else gets to zing, ja?

Because no one else listens to me, Doc.

But, I am. I’m a dreamer. I have been a dreamer for as long as I can remember. I have dreamed of times and places and moments. I have dreamed of a life so splendid to live. Dreaming has been my hope and my strength and my salvation…and my escape.

In my youth, at Olde Geistopia, life was very solitary. My family and I had moments, but, as a whole, they were not very engaged in my life. They were too caught up in their own. So, I would escape into the depths of my own mind. I would dream away of a different life. This was on car rides, nightly dinners, even just plain old Saturday afternoons. There were no kids in my neighborhood. So, I played and imagined and dreamed.

As I got older and went into the world, embarking on that inevitable path towards education I dreamed some more. I dreamed of mattering. I dreamed of being liked. I dreamed of any life that was different than the one I had.

[Here’s an unknown fact – Through my high school years, I hated myself so much that I would routinely burn myself with a hot knife blade and whip my back with a belt…just for being me.]

So...I dreamed.

I have dreamed of professions and homes and hobbies and love. I have dreamed of businesses and adventures. I have dreamed of so many things. At Olde Geistopia, every time I would clean or tend the yard, or build a garden I would dream of what it would be like if it were my own. I would dream of it being appreciated.

In fact, something like The Garden – any creative project really – was a dream in and of itself. When I worked on that garden I would close out the rest of the world entirely. It was only me and the plot of ground with which I was working at the time. I would listen and observe. It would dream itself into being and then I would bring it to life. It is how I have painted all of my staves.

Over time, this ability to drift so deep into the recesses of the mind would become both the bane of my existence and my greatest strength.

Sometimes, I think, it may be what helps me on stage. It becomes very easy to enter that same mindset and allow the character to take over.

It is also what has made it so easy for me to do things like Tarot and Reiki and even my Quests. The Imagination is not much different than a Spiritual Mind. They are both realms where anything is possible. One time during ritual, I dreamed two beings of light taking hold of my wrists and guiding my arms – teaching me a new ritual. This would all be validated several weeks later when I would randomly discover that ritual in one of my books.

Dreamtime is what has allowed me moments of visions. For instance, I often tell the story of when I knew Mama was leaving me. [Mama has actually never heard the story.] It happened six months prior to her actually leaving. I was driving to work in the early morning hours. There I was just cruising along like I did every morning. The radio was playing and I had a good groove going. Suddenly, Goodbye My Lover starts playing. Then…FLASH…there it was before my eyes and I ‘dreamed’ the moment. When it was done and the vision had faded, I sobbed, for I knew it was coming.

These days, Dreaming is as natural and involuntary as breathing.

A long time ago I was told that I will always be torn between two – two females, two jobs, two interests, two lives. I was later told that I have the ability to walk between the two worlds – Physical and Spiritual [herein known as The Dreamworld.]

That is what my daily experience is like. It is the experience of being caught between this world and The Dreamworld – watching them overlap and intermingle. There have been times that the veil has been so thin between them that I have had to question exactly which world I was in. I have watched the most ordinary and mundane moments turn into Divine experiences filled with magick and mysticism.

I can remember the first time that I was really aware of it. I know I had moments prior. I just don’t think I understood them at the time. But, this moment. This moment got me. So much, in fact, that it inspired a writing. [One I know exists somewhere.]

I was attending a holiday party at a friend’s. Actually, it was her parent’s. We were old enough to drink, young enough to still be at home. So, I’m at this party. We’re in the basement/rec room. Everyone is just chillin on their own vibe. Music was playing so some were singing and dancing. Some were playing pool. Some were just hanging about – like me. Anyway, I turn and look and her stepfather is sitting in this big wicker chair that almost looked like a throne.

Suddenly, it flashed before my eyes. First, he became the Pan and then morphed into Dionysus. I looked about the room, at the activities and the merriment, and then it struck me. Of course! It only makes sense. It is the perfect energy for a holiday party. They go together. *whispers aside* I mean…it’s kinda what Yule is all about.

Of course, this was also the Yule that I met Santa Claus. [Now, that was quite the Dream and one that would change the course of my life forever.]

I want to let you in on another little secret quick. I didn’t know that Dionysus and Yule actually went together. It just made sense to me at the time. I didn’t know it until I looked it up just now to be sure before I wrote it out.

This is the kind of thing that happens to me all the time. Like the night, not too long ago, when I was walking to The Theatre from The Nest and I felt a spirit…or, for the purpose of consistency…I dreamed a spirit fill my body. In the moment, my first thought was Freyja. I dismissed this almost as quickly as I had thought of it because I didn’t really know anything about Freyja. After looking her up later, I discovered two noteworthy details – she is a fire Goddess and she is associated with Beltane.

I was carrying my new flame staff and it was Beltane weekend.

I have always been a dreamer.

Lately, I am not sure what it is that I am dreaming.

The week was like any other week in my life. It was not what I had planned but exactly what it needed to be. I did not reach all of my Goals. Yet, I met all of my needs. I had moments in which. Get completely defeated and hopeless. Times when I was lost beyond existing. But, I also had so many moments high atop the pinnacle, feeling empowered and connected to The Universe as a whole.

And…random messages dreamed along the way.

All-in-all, the week was Just Enough of what it needed to be – Precise & Perfectly Placed.

[It is at this point, Fellow Travelers, where I find myself struggling to guide the story forward. There are points to make, stories to tell, and moments to share. But, how? So, now I must go deeper and dream harder.]

I never know what to expect at the beginning of the week. [Or, any given day really.] I have my plans and my point of measure, my gauge, if you will. But, I have no clue how it will come together. I only go into each week knowing that it will – somehow, someway.

For the most part, my week was fairly straightforward [with a few little curves along the way.] First – there was work. I needed to work and get myself back on track. There were bills due and I wanted to get a payment to The Mechanic. It’s just been a very tight and rough few weeks financially. This was the first week that I started out even. I was literally at square one. I might have even been a few dollars ahead.

It al seemed pretty simple really. I had a few commitments along the way. Tuesday night I had to go by The Meeting Place. Thursday and Friday I shelled my way down the line for Sunshine’s band performances. All I had to do was work anytime that wasn’t those times.

Right off the bat I had one lunch shift and one dinner shift when I didn’t get any dings for a very long time. Almost none at all. I believe it was Tuesday that I also stopped for a brief Safety Meeting.

I know. I said I was going to try to avoid all that for a bit. It’s just the only time that I get to see The Professor and It’s hard to say no to him. So, if it feel like it is working out I will swing by usually. I really do need to step back from all that momentarily. I also had a random errand to run Tuesday night after The Meeting Place.

Tuesday was a strange day all around. It may have been after effects of the Retrograde, or perhaps even The Full Moon. Tuesday was the day that I bought some scratch off tickets. Overall, I lost thirty bucks; However, I need up with fifty dollars cash in my wallet – which, it turns out, is where I needed it.

I didn’t realize it until I knew it was going to be in my pocket. I needed at least some of it to get into the fair to see Sunshine. Now, though it was a fairly easy way to get it into my pocket, it was also kind of an expensive one. Why The Universe and I couldn’t have agreed on something like, oh, I don’t know…buyin’ some shit at the store and getting some cash back I’m not real sure. But, hey…It Is What It Is What It Is.

It matters not how it happens, only that it happens.

I have completed my work week now and, despite all the twists and turns and unexpecteds, I did what I needed to do. I paid the bills. I got a suitable payment to The Mechanic. It wasn’t quite as much as I had originally planned. But, it was more than the $100 I was doing previously and that was important. What I did was I paid off the random odd amount that one usually pays off at the end. Now I am left with what, hopefully, will be two even payments. I managed some odds and ends. I even gave $5 to a homeless person at an intersection today.

All of that and I still ended the week with a few dollars in my PayPal, a couple of dollars in my bank, and several dollars in my wallet. Now, that may not sound like much, but count your blessings where you can, Fellow Travelers. After The Getaway, I was starting off with very little, if anything at all. I had a rough work week that week and I started the next week in the red. As I did the following week. Only not as deep in the red. Eventually, I would come back to square and level. So, to have the kind of week that I did and manage what I could take care of and still be able to start the next week with a few measly scrapings, that’s a win for me. AMEN! I’ll take that.

One [of Two] Step[s] Forward.

As you may know, Fellow Travelers, my sights have been set on a home. It has become a personal Goal of mine. I stress ‘personal Goal’ because I am not 100% convinced that it is G-d’s Goal. I’d like it if it were. I’d like to think it is. I feel I could do so much more for The Universe with a home.

It all started with The Nest and has only been reaffirmed through this most recent Journey at The Original Brother John’s. I was never at home at Olde Geistopia. I lived there but I couldn’t function freely nor naturally. This is not all about negativity. Often it was merely a clash of lifestyle.

For instance, cleaning the house had become a whole big thing for me. It was always kind of my responsibility, but for occasional periods here and there. Because I knew I had to do it, I taught myself to make the most of it and enjoy it. It was a whole ritual of sorts and very Zen for me. I cleaned the whole house all together. I had very specific system and routine. I would turn on music and let it play through the house as I moved about. You see, I didn’t clean one room at a time. I cleaned one step at a time. [One Single Solitary Step.] I would dust every room on one floor. From one end of the house to the other. Then I would go back and do the glass. Then the multi-surfaces. [Kitchen first, bath last, anything else in between.] Then I would vacuum and finally wash the hard floors. I used to mop them. Then I realized that was a whole lot of wasted effort. If you really want to get a floor clean you need to get down on your hands and knees and go over it with hot water and a towel. [I’m more prone to mopping in my old age. Though I still prefer hands on.]

Anyway, I would light candles and burn incense, ending with a round of sage. Weather permitting, I would open the windows for fresh air. Though I always made certain to open up the curtains and put up the shades for natural light. This was all fine for me, but it did not blend with the normal activities around Olde Geistopia. So, I had to do it when no one else was around. Over time I learned to do it when no one was home or in the middle of the night. I had to plan it. I couldn’t just do it when the time was right. I have now experienced that sort of freedom and flexibility. It’s nice to just be able to do things.

Through both experiences, I have come to know myself better. I have been able to Observe what routines come naturally to me, how I function, what is important to me. I know I commented while I was at The Nest that in my past many people, most of whom were close to me, insinuated or outright accused me of being lazy. Lazy I am not. That is definitely something I got out of the past two weeks of being here. Once I get home from the road I am just on the go. I go until I can’t any longer. I mean, I take breaks and I chill from time to time. But, I always have something I am trying to do – financials and daily records, writing, making dinner or prepping lunch, washing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning out The Rocket.

I just can always find the next thing to do. I suppose this is how I have had a few 40+ hour days in my life. I catch a wave of energy and…I can always find the next thing to do. [I’d really like to hit 48 sometime.] I mean, it’s a good thing Brother John took his lawn equipment or I would be trying to figure out when and how to get that done. It is something I so miss doing. Plus, the yard could use a trimming.

I’m having a struggle with being here right now. I have been here a few weeks and this is way more than anything I imagined, pictured, or thought. I am very grateful for it. But, I do not wish to overstay my welcome nor overburden their generosity. Yet, I find myself hesitant and reluctant to commit to it. There are several reasons for this.

First and foremost, the very reason I am here. I don’t really have a place to park overnight. Not ‘legally’ anyway. I do have the offer from The Putter, but it just doesn’t feel right. I can’t do it. I’ve done it a few times since I left The Nest, but it just doesn’t feel right. This leaves me with parking lots. I do have a list of about six. Some I have tried. Some I have not. Technically, I can’t park in any of them overnight and I can be asked to leave and that can involve police and that’s all just a whole lot of hassle I don’t need in my life. So I have been hesitating because I really don’t know how I am going to manage it, nor am I looking forward to even trying.

I resist because I have saved quite a bit of money on food and coffee alone over the past few weeks. As well as a bit in gas. It came at a time when I needed it. I just feel like a little bit more time and I could get myself to a good point for moving forward. I could give myself something to work with again.

I hesitate because I am enjoying the experience of me. It is nice to move about and do things and manage my life as it works and not as dictated by shower days and sunlight and space and such. I have been very Zen and peaceful of late. I feel regrouped and recharged. And, that brings me to the final hesitation.

I hesitate because I do feel so peaceful here. I have always felt comfortable here. It has always felt natural. I feel at home. I have since the first time I house sat here. I haven’t known that feeling in so very long. I haven’t felt comfortable anywhere. And, once I return to The Rocket that is all gone.

Still, I am slowly working my way towards that end. I have cleaned out The Rocket real good before I have to move back in. I have gathered my spare blankets from The Cave so that when I reset The Rocket for sleeping I have ‘winterized’ it with more blankets. I have brought up my clothing bin so that I can make the switch to warmer clothes. I just need to get myself through it all and I can be ready to go soon. [Though honestly, I would like to stretch it as long as I can.]

Nonetheless, a home is in my sights. This is what I am currently trying to dream into existence. I should be able to do something with just my driving income. It would be very tight for some time and it will take me a while to get there, but it is conceivable. I am also keeping myself open to other jobs and opportunities. I am looking at one that I have seen on a billboard. I’m hesitant – mostly because of my teeth. It is a Route Sales Representative. I don’t know that I am comfortable enough with myself to talk to people that frequently and in that capacity. I’m not even sure how much of a fit it would be for me. But, if it can put me in a home, I imagine I can tolerate it.

I’ve also been capturing numbers as I see places for rent. None of them are in great locations. One even puts me back in The City. Not a fan. But I gotta get outta the car. Sooner rather than later.

Yet, there are moments that steer me in other directions.

I do dream of the road. I dream of it every day as I drive around. I dream of where I have been. I long to return to many of those places. [If not all of them.] I dream of where I have yet to go. I dream of the adventure and the magick.

On Thursday morning I went down the line to see Sunshine’s high school band perform at the fair. It was a tough day already because I woke to being -$63 in my account. Still, I worked through the early part of breakfast and made the half hour drive to get down there. I paid the $5 to get in. I was there for a total of maybe an hour and a half. In that time, I saw Sunshine play the cymbals for one song. Basically, three minutes.

Afterwards, she caught up to her mother and I and…I don’t know. It was just odd. She seemed so cold and distant to me. I learned on Friday that even Mama had taken notice to it. I didn’t even get as much as a thank you. I mean, I’m used to having to ask for hugs and having eyes rolled at me. Her “hi” was very short and the energy was so off. And when I told her I was heading out she didn’t say goodbye. I simply got an, “Okay.” She showed absolutely no sign of being happy to see me.

She broke my heart…and my soul.

I was an absolute mess on the whole drive back to The Valley. I texted with Belle which helped keep me at least a little bit grounded and sane. But my head was just spinning and I could feel the tightness in my chest as my heart chakra hardened and darkened. I didn’t know how to feel or how to react.

I didn’t think that I could just ignore it and move on. Not this time. I didn’t know if a direct dialogue would do any good or make matters worse. I even became childish in my thinking for a bit and considered just writing her off for a while. If she were anyone except my daughter – treating me as she has been for several months now - I would have walked away already. She treats me as if I am unimportant to her. That’s how my family treated me and we all know how I feel about them, Fellow Travelers.

Darkness Does not Begin in an Unloving Heart.

I suddenly felt so lost. My daughters are my life. They are my world, my everything. I understand that this is such a great burden to place on their young shoulders. But it is true. Without them I am nothing. I would cease to have a purpose. I would become obsolete and invisible to the world.

So, I began to wonder if a home was even something I should worry about. They are really the only reason I ‘need’ one. A home that they can visit. A home where they can have at least some piece of foundation. A home where they feel comfortable and free. It’s all about them.

I don’t ‘need’ a home. Sure, it would be nice. But I can exist without one. I’ve been doing it for quite some time now. I mean, yeah, it’s a dismal and pathetic existence…but I get by. I live. I do. I work. I play [sometimes.] I get by.

Maybe this moment was G-d’s way of telling me to just let it all go and put it all behind me. Maybe, I thought, it is time to forget I ever existed here and just hit the road and be someplace else. Without my daughters, it doesn’t really matter where I am. Everything else is the same. I have the same problems and challenges. Work is work and when you have absolutely nothing else in your life who cares where it is…or even what it is.

Just up and going is not as easy as it sounds. Especially when there are bills to pay and food to buy but there is only enough each day. I could get there. If that is my course, I could figure it out and get there.

Suddenly, my mind flashed to something else. It was a random something I read on my Facebook feed a few days earlier. I don’t know that I could recall it word for word but the point to it was, “Don’t quit now.” Basically, quitting now only resets [me] to zero and it is all so close to completion. That’s what I took from that message.

Now, I wondered if this moment wasn’t something else entirely. What if it was a test? I have been saying for months that something is coming. There is a great life shift on the horizon. I have not been able to define it. I only know it has been rising.

The Greatest Treasures are Guarded by the Fiercest Beasts.

333.

[G-d, I hate that bastard (in a brotherly sort of way.)]

Then, I flashed on to this moment just a day or two prior. I was doing something in the kitchen at The Original Brother John’s. I don’t know – unpacking lunch, drying dishes, something. When this word on the bottom of the side of a box just jumped out at me. It just SMACKED me in the face. It was the Spiritual Message equivalent of a Timestopper. The whole focus of my being was on, and in, that word. I have seen that box on the shelf every day. I’m certain I must have read the word at some point. But, there it was, plain as day and as if I was seeing it for the first time – my favorite word…

Believe.

I do not what lies ahead, Fellow Travelers. I’m not even certain why I try to figure it out. Once upon ago, I opened Pandora’s Box – I traveled down The Rabbit Hole and stepped through The Looking Glass. I cannot un-see, nor un-learn, no un-experience it. I landed in a world where Anything is Possible and Nothing is as it Seems.

Day after day, nothing ever goes the way I plan. Yet, every day things go exactly as they need to go and inevitably everything works out [fairly magickally] in the end. All I have been able to do – despite any efforts – is to just show up and do my best to get through each one – to live, to survive, to bring even just a little bit of light to some piece of The Universe.

The Markers have come and gone. I asked for something concrete – something knowable. I received messages and promises of hope and belief. I was asked to continue on blindly, and foolishly, for just a bit longer. The Equinox is quickly approaching and we shall see what that holds – if anything. Then I will set an ‘unofficial’ Marker at the end of the month. Again, Fellow Travelrs, we will just wait and see what, if anything, shifts or arises. From there, it is on to Samhain and the end of my Yearly Cycle. At that point, choices must be made. [If they haven’t already been.]

Until then, Fellow Travelers, I invite you to join me as I drift off into slumberland and wait to see what is dreamed next.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**

*I caught a glimpse of a dragonfly passing by one day as I pulled from a parking spot.*

Dragonfly – The Power of Light

Inhabit two realms – water and air. The significance of these should be studied. There must be expressions of the emotional and the mental together. You may need some fresh air in regards to something emotional. You may need to gain new perspective or make a change. May even indicate that you are neglecting your emotions. Are you being too rational about everything? Are you not keeping the colors of emotion alive?

*Mouse is the usual. King Harold II has been making many appearances. And getting a bit bolder with each one.*

Mouse - Attention to Detail.

It is either time to pay attention to details, or an indication that you cannot see the forest for the trees. You may be getting so locked into details that you forget the big picture. Are you taking care of the trivial, yet necessary, things of life? Are you getting so lost in big dreams that you are neglecting other aspects of your life? Are you becoming so focused on one or two activities that you are neglecting other opportunities? Are you missing what is right in front of you? Is there something obvious that you are missing or need to focus on? Are you trying to do too many things at once and therefore scattering your energies? Mouse can show how to pay attention to detail; how to attain the big things by working on the little things. Lessons associated with attention.

*Goldfinch was interesting because I was driving on my way to a delivery when I caught sight of one flying past in front of me. I just thought it was interesting because all things considered – rate of my travel, rate of its travel, distance from the car, size of the bird – I was still able to know it easily.*

Goldfinch – Awakening to the Nature Spirits

Black and yellow are the colors of the archangel Auriel. Used to invoke that aspect of this being that oversees the activity of nature spirits – the faeries, elves, and devas. Usually indicates the awakening to the activities of those beings that are normally relegated to the realm of fiction. Can help you to deepen your perceptions so that you can begin to see and experience the activities of the nature spirits yourself. Awakening to that which is normally hidden from view. In those areas where they are found, you can also find the faeries and elves. Can help us connect with those nature spirits that can show us how to heal animals – wild and domestic. A reminder that nature is speaking to us constantly and that we should learn to listen and communicate with it from all levels.

*Hawk is just a staple. Barely a week passes that I don’t catch one sitting here or there along my path. Sometimes flying across it as well.*

Hawk - Visionary Power and Guardianship.

Messengers, protectors and visionaries. Visionary power and leading you to your life purpose. There is a message coming. What you eat, you become. Kundalini. Childhood visions are becoming empowered and fulfilled. The ability to soar and glide upon the currents. Great Heights while still keeping your feet on the ground. Attacks by people who won’t understand you - attack your ability to soar. Teaching of higher expression of psychosis and vision. Beauty and harmony in moderation. Lead you to using your creative energy in manifesting your soul purpose. Hope and new ideas. A need to be open to the new or shows ways that you may help teach others to be open to the new. Be observant. Life is sending signals. Careful in expression. Comments and actions will be strong and powerful with the ability to tear and/or kill.

Again I was driving. What can I say? I drive. I had a blue jay fly in front of me. Right across the road it went. My eyes followed it and just as it was coming to a rest, two more flew out from where it landed and crossed in front of me in the other direction.*

Blue Jay - Proper Use of Power

It can reflect lessons in using your own power properly. It can also reflect lessons in not allowing yourself to be placed in a position in which power is misused against you. It has the ability to link the heavens and the earth, to access each for greater power. This is a totem that can move between both and tap the primal energies at either level. Higher knowledge that can be used. The main problem will be dabbling in both worlds, rather than becoming a true master of both. Usually have a tremendous amount of ability, but it can be scattered or it is often not developed any more than is necessary to get by. Not unusual to find individuals with the Jay totem being dabblers - especially in the psychic and metaphysical fields. They know a little bit about a lot of things and they use that knowledge sometimes to give the impression that they know more. Wear the crown of true master ship requires dedication, responsibility, and committed development in all things in the physical and spiritual. A reminder to follow through on all things - to not start something and then leave it dangling. A time of greater resourcefulness and adaptability is about to unfold. Going to have ample opportunities to develop and use your abilities. Look for ample time to develop and use your energies to access new levels. Actually a member of the crow family, most crows have no fear. It is because of this the Jay can help you connect to the deepest mysteries of the earth and the greatest of the heavens. This sense of seeking pleasure - often at the expense of others - can reflect an imbalance. Sometimes jay shows up when this is happening in your own life. A tremendous ability for survival with the least amount of effort. They reflect great talent, but that talent must be developed and utilized properly. It indicates that you are moving into a time where you can develop your innate royalty that is within you, or simply be a pretender to the throne. It all depends on you.

*If you thought I was a bit whacky with cricket previously, let me assure you I was not. I was sitting here a bit ago, working away at financials and what not. I looked across the floor and there sat a cricket. He did leave, making sure to sing me a little tune as he went.*

Cricket –[from Spirit-animal.com]

Like the Ladybug and the Dragonfly, Cricket symbolism is a sign of exceptional luck. Furthermore, this spirit animal says that the things that you have been working toward and dreaming about are now possible. Therefore, Cricket meaning directs you to stay open to guidance and messages so that you will know what you have to do. You may be guided to buy a lottery ticket, interview for a new job, or be in the right place at the right time. In other words, Cricket symbolism is letting you know that all things are possible right now. All you have to do is feel that you deserve it! Similar to the Robin and the Whale, people with Cricket totem know how to sing their songs loud and clear! In other words, they love to use the power of their voice to attract what they want in life. These folks also have a gift for finding their way through awkward moments with panache and aplomb. People with this spirit animal are excellent communicators, love to walk their talk and are often vegetarian. In fact, like the Deer totem, they understand the power of music and will usually have a career that uses music as a form of healing.

*Wolf was also fun and again in threes. First it was on a street sign. Then, just a bit down the road on a business sign. At the time, I know I was thinking about things. Important things. Though I couldn’t tell you what right this moment. Anyway, the third is a magnet on the refrigerator at the house.*

Wolf - Guardianship, Ritual, Loyalty, and Spirit

Teaches you to know who you are and to develop strength, confidence and surety in that so that you do not have to demonstrate or prove yourself at all. Very expressive with hands, face, posture, or some other manner. How to empower your verbal communications with appropriate key language. Teach the lesson of proper governorship - the balance between authority and democracy. How to use ritual to establish order and harmony in your own life. Helps us to understand that true freedom requires discipline. 22-24 months. Need to make use of all that is available to you. Remind us to not waste, as much as to remind us to keep our spirits alive Great discrimination. Listen to own inner thoughts and words. The intuition will be strong. Learning to trust your own insights and to secure your attachments accordingly. Help you to hear the inner and guard from inappropriate actions. Time to breathe a new life into your life rituals. Find a new path, take a new journey, take control of your life. Do so with harmony and discipline.

*I almost overlooked raven. It wasn’t a major, nor mystical, encounter. What drew my attention to this raven was its size. It was the largest raven I have ever seen. I had to look twice because I thought it was a different bird.*

Raven - Magic, Shapeshifting, and Creation.

Bird of birth and death; mysticism and magic. Messenger of the great spiritual realm. Bring forth life and order. Can help you shape shift your life or your being. Knowledge of how to become other ‘animals’ and how to understand their language. Teach how to stir the magic of life without fear. Strong creative life force. Can be used to enter The Void and stir energies to manifest what you most need. Expect Magic. Somewhere in your life, magic is at play. Activates the energy of magic, linking it with your will and your intentions. Teaches how to take that which is unformed and give it the form you desire.

*I was making a long drive back from a delivery and there was a heron standing in the side of the road. No water. Just chillin out at the edge of the road. Interesting and odd.*

Heron - The Call of The Quest andTravels to Legendary Places.

Reflects a stimulation of the childhood thrill and belief in legendary places. [The story(s) we most loved in childhood often reflect the life quest we have come to take upon us in this lifetime.] Can also aid in communication especially through the use of stories. Individuals wishing to write can facilitate the process by working with a goose totem. It will stimulate the creative process and help to move through creative blocks. Also a symbol of fertility and marital fidelity. May reflect a need for more vegetables in the diet. An ability to move forward or backward. Reflects movement. A call to the spiritual quest. It reminds us that as any one individual makes his or her quest, it becomes easier for others to do so as well. We should not undertake any quest in life without having a full view of what it entails. Opening to new possibilities. Affix ourselves to a new path. Great fertility that should be acted upon if growth is desired. Greater vision, physical and spiritual, will occur. Can reflect that you are about to break free from old childhood restraints and begin to come into your own. You can expect to have the imagination stirred toward new travels and distant places - whether in the body or in the mind.