S8EP1: A Tale of Two Minds - PT. 1 (Or, I Gotta Be Me)

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true!

WALT: Welcome to my Life is a Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

Looch

BJ & The Bull

Bert-On

The Bassett Hound

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason & His Bride

St. Diane & You (4)

Brother John & Sister Jen

The Bee Man

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

Wilson

The Nameless One

The Cousins

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, August 6, Two-Thousand and Twenty-Free. Time...???

Theme – Reflections and Illusions

These came up several times throughout the week. These are the pillars of our reality. They both come from within. Our interactions and experiences are mirror images of our inner workings. Things around us are illusions. I say his in regards to things like addictions, even sometimes our desire to eat is simply an illusion. What we consider our ‘circumstances’ are nothing more than illusion woven by our inner thoughts and feelings – our beliefs of the world and life. If you wish to change what you are seeing or experiencing – the illusions - then you must shift your beliefs. You can find clues as to what you might need to shift in the reflections.

Lesson – Remember

I have been through a lot over the years. I have learned a lot from it. My Goal right now is to Remember all that I have learned…and actually use it. One thing that has come up a lot recently is Every Act is an Act of Magick. I have to remember these Principles and what they mean.

Observation – Persistence is Futile

This is so not the way to say this. I just thought it sounded fun. The whole thing starts with me playing one of those match puzzle games. I had reached a level that I just could not get beyond. I tried over and over again for days. On one of those attempts I thought of the phrase, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” I chuckled and thought, “Well then what is this?” The thing is, inevitably, that persistence pays off. Perhaps the Observation should be Life is Like a Match Puzzle Game. It is. We’re given a board to play. It is filled with various pieces – colors, shapes, etc. Each board has a set of Goals to accomplish, which is done by matching and moving the pieces around. Sometimes you can breeze through this without a thought. Other times you must plot a course that is several moves ahead of yourself. Sometimes your moves create bonuses that can help you in your quest. Sometimes you earn other more extraordinary bonuses. Isn’t this like life? We plan our lives and set Goals. We have a board of pieces in front of us – work, school, investments, whatever the needed things might be. We may breeze through it or have to work it over and over again. We may get bonuses along the way. We may even have to do it over and over again to make it happen. Perhaps the Observation should be Persistence is Insanity. The thing is, both with the game and life, everytime we start over two things happen. First, the pieces are shuffled onto the board differently. Second, we use what we learned from the last round.

The Post

Another week in the books. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through this week. And I’m not sure I know how I did. I don’t know how I feel about getting through the week. I don’t really know how I feel about anything at the moment.

It was a very strange and twisted week.

The week began with more intensity than I have had to endure for some time. There was a Full Moon. Not just any moon but a Super Moon. Also it was the first of two moons that create the Blue Moon.

On the same day would fall Lughnasadh, or Lammas – the beginning of the Harvest Season.

If this were not enough, the end of the month/beginning of the month had been given as a marker.

I was feeling it already last Sunday. I was in a haze. I could feel the Waking Dreamtime setting in. At first, I was put off by it. Then I remembered that it was The Day Before. [Only it wasn’t The Day Before.] I had it in my head [for some reason] that the Moon fell on Monday and the Holi-day on Tuesday. I was very incorrect. They both fell on Tuesday.

This concerned and curioused me a bit. I mean, if this is what I was feeling already and I hadn’t even hot The Day Before, then I could be in for a helluva ride. [The truth is, I was already feeling it on Saturday.] I was able to accept it all though because I knew these days were going to be intense in some way. I could feel it brewing long before it arrived.

I can’t tell you how the days went really. [Not until Tuesday anyway.] I know they weren’t going as I thought they should have been. [Not much of a surprise there.] So. Let’s jump ahead to Tuesday. For me, Tuesday is almost the epitome of the dichotomy, the duality, of life. My choices on Tuesday did me, both, the most good and the most harm.

I went out for work on Tuesday. I needed to work. I was facing my greatest financial difficulty to date this year. Things were the grimmest they have gotten and the forecast wasn’t much brighter. So, I got up, got myself together, and got out the door. My plan was – at best – to be home early enough to squeeze in a ritual soak in honour of the Holi-day and the Moon.

I don’t know at what point in my day it happened. I know it was early. I don’t know what even brought it up, let alone what made it happen. I came home. I ended up taking almost all of Tuesday off. I think that is funny because at some point in that morning I had commented to the video camera that if I could take the day off I would. [Yes, there is video. There is lots and lots of video from recent weeks that must be edited and published.] I think when I headed home I had intended on taking lunch off and going back out for dinner. [Though I think I knew I wasn’t going to get back out.]

Tuesday was such a very beautiful day for me. I moved slow. I moved purposely. I worked on and accomplished a variety of things. I finished a workshop project for a friend. [Technically, this was working, because there will be payment involved.] I got my ritual soak in. I even managed to get out to The Grove and actually meditate.

Like, I didn’t just chill for a few moments and then be on my way. I sat, I even laid down. I allowed myself to be one with the moment for as long as it would have me. I can’t tell you the last time I did that. It cleansed my soul. I needed that so terribly bad.

I spent the whole day in that state of mind – connectedness to Spirit. I was serene. I achieved a level of peace – even with the shit show that was about to rain down upon me. The thing is, I was warned. I was told it was coming. I don’t know when exactly that message came. It may have been Tuesday. I t may have been Monday, or even Sunday. Whenever it came, the message was clear, “It is going to get worse before it gets better.”

Wednesday is a blur. It is so very Once Upon Ago. [I mean, it was The Day After, after all.] I know I worked, but I also know that it wasn’t the day I wanted it to be. Thursday was two steps forward and one step back. Of course, these past three days have been one big heap of keep going and don’t look back.

That’s how every weekend is for me lately. Financially, the weekend becomes somewhat of a Void. Nothing process between Friday night and Monday morning. Things are always happening behind the scenes, but nothing is directly processing. This usually gives me a chance to apply a bandage to the wound. [And, at the same time, not lose more money to fees.]

The days haven’t been superb financially. They haven’t been drab either. It’s been a sort of median intake. I have only been remaining vaguely aware of the whole of the situation. I checked in on it Thursday [at which point I was -$300.] I only even checked because I just happened to catch a glimpse of the email notification on my phone. I also checked it tonight after I cashed out my funds. At that point, I was $97 ahead.

Of course, this is only temporary. Tomorrow morning the account will go negative again. Exactly how much I do not know. Therefore, I do not know if I will be able to dig myself out of it tomorrow. Honestly, I probably won’t even look at it until I have made my deposits for tomorrow. No matter how it goes, or when it balances, I must do my best to navigate the week ahead. I’m not sure how it’s going to go.

Again, the message was clear. This past week and the one coming up were both going t be very challenging. I was told I might want to give up and fold. I was told that I might want to cry…that I may even want to die. I feel that. I’ve been in those spaces quite a few times already. [And I’m not even halfway through the hell of it.]

However, I was also told that then it would begin to get better. No clear indication of how that will happen, nor how long it will take to unfold. Simply that things will get better…perhaps even different. I’ve ‘seen’ many moments over the course of this past week.

I saw Spring, Christmas, and Autumn – in that order. I found it extraordinarily odd to be seeing Spring. We are barely through the Summer season. I am accustomed to being a season ahead. So at best, I should have ‘seen’ Winter, but Spring is a stretch. I take it as a good sign. Spring would mean that somehow I do actually manage to get this whole mess [my life] straightened out.

I have ‘seen’ a different course of things. Of course, I have been saying that for months. I don’t know what it means.

I have ‘seen’ the beach. I like this vision because it is a place I do like to go at least once in a year – even if just for a day. However, I cannot see how it is fathomable, let alone possible. [But then, last July I didn’t understand how I could be seeing Autumn in this house.]

I have ‘seen’ New Orleans.

I do not know what any of this means or how any of it could play out. Still, I must acknowledge that I have ‘seen’ it all.

The week has had me looking at all sorts of aspects of my life. Or perhaps it has had me looking through different lenses. There is a power within me that I have not yet tapped. Or, perhaps, I just don’t understand it.

I’ve lived this ‘strange’ life. It’s sort of done its own thing – worked in its own way. It has been beautiful and inspiring. But it has also brought me much turmoil, heartache and challenge. It doesn’t seem to work like everyone else’s. I try to make it work like everyone else’s and that is usually when my troubles and stress set in. I worry too much about the future and so I fail to see how I am getting through the present.

My life has always been chaotic and active – filled with a variety of this and that. It’s never been the ‘straight line’ of everybody else’s lives. It always seems to leave me in a bind. I try so hard to make it work differently and I just can’t. But I am also so afraid to just give into it. It all requires less thinking [which is so difficult for me] and a lot more just feeling. As panicked as I may feel, no matter the situation, I must move slow – keep a calm mind.

Well, for now, I am out of time for this. I will have to make this into a two-part entry.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**

Ant - Industriousness, Order, and Discipline

Symbol of work and industry. Wisdom and intellect in their endeavors is often acclaimed. Social. Community activity. Gathering, hunting, growing. May find that the cycle of industriousness and building of goals may increase over a period of twelve years. Cycle of twelve - days, months, years - will be of significance. Teacher of how to build, how to be the architect of your own life. Show you how to construct our dreams into a reality. Greatest success occurs with persistence. Examine your own industriousness. Are you disciplining yourself enough to accomplish the tasks at hand? Are you or those around you looking for the quick and easy way? Are you neglecting important activities? Are you laying a good foundation? Are you adding new structures to your life with each passing year in some fashion - education, jobs, hobbies, etc? Are you being patient with your efforts? Are you being patient with yourself? With others? Are you making things greater and more difficult than they need to be? Are you missing the opportunity to initiate new creativity and endeavors? Can teach how to harness your own power to design and recreate your life. Can show you how best to work with others for the good of everyone. Regardless of circumstances, if the effort is true, the rewards will follow - in the most beneficial time and manner. The promise of success through effort.

Fox - Feminine Magic of Camouflage, Shapeshifting and Invisibility.

New world opening up. The process of creation is beginning. Guide to enter the Faerie Realm. Unless a male can recognize the magic of the feminine - in himself or others - and learn to use it to Shapeshifting his own life, it will ultimately lead to destruction. The Kundalini, and the freeing of the creative life force. Practicing and using camouflage. Working to blend in with surroundings, to come and go unnoticed, moving silently about without revealing your intentions. Learning to control the aura. Adjust its frequency and intensity so that you harmonize more with others. Levels of energy and fertility. If the focus stays on the creative energies, any sharp turn in the individual’s life will be handled with ease. Fox people have the ability to insulate themselves from anything that may seem cold, especially in relationships. Can appear larger than they are - for personal protection or for making greater impressions. Establish a trotting pace. Ability to move into new directions. Call upon new resources instinctively. Excellent ability to hear what is not being said. The ability to hear spirit. Size people up accurately. Develop the ability to see spirit. Aromatherapy. Awakening of the Kundalini. Higher forms of discrimination and discernment. Capture any prize.

Dragonfly – The Power of Light

Inhabit two realms – water and air. The significance of these should be studied. There must be expressions of the emotional and the mental together. You may need some fresh air in regards to something emotional. You may need to gain new perspective or make a change. May even indicate that you are neglecting your emotions. Are you being too rational about everything? Are you not keeping the colors of emotion alive?

Vulture - Purification - Death and Rebirth - New Vision.

A guardian to the mysteries of life and death and the road of salvation. A coming time when you will be noticed more for what you do than how you appear. You will probably start to see auras and energies around people and things. Distributing one’s energy so that gravity does not weigh and hold one down - be it the actual gravity of the earth or the gravity of mundane situations and experiences. Associated with higher forms of discrimination. Assist you in developing your own sense of ‘smell’ that you can use effectively in all areas of your life. Aromatherapy. Changes in the digestive system. Pay attention to how you feel physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually after eating various foods. Acting rather than talking. May take as much as three months before an individual begins to truly move past the death stage to rebirth. A promise that the suffering of the immediate was temporary and necessary for a higher purpose was at work. Reflects that no matter how difficult the life conditions, rescue is imminent in your life.