S8EP13: Seasons Change

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true!

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

Looch

The Bassett Hound

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason

St. Diane & You (3)

Brother John & Sister Jen

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Cousins

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, January 29, Two-Thousand and Twenty-Free. Time...

Theme – Remember What You’ve Learned

I almost wanted to put this down as ‘This is a test. This is only a test.” It seemed appropriate for the past few weeks. But then I thought on it some more. What is the purpose of a test? To remember and apply what you have learned. So, that is where I am at. I mean, it would have been nice if this Theme or message would have come at the beginning of the three weeks. But, all things Precise & Perfectly Placed, I suppose. I have put some time into sitting still and recalling everything the past 25 years have shown me. Especially the past year. Much of what I have learned on my journey might sound basic. Almost as if it should be second nature. However, my life hasn’t been basic in a very long time. It has just been this whirlwind of things and happenings. To and Fro. Hither and Yon. And one thing I have learned along the way is that the more chaotic we are, the easier it is to forget the simplest of things. [The Harder You Try, The More You Fail.]

Lesson – Don’t Give Up

Of all the weeks this month, this one was certainly the most difficult for me. It felt as though I was losing ground. I had reached a high level of frustration. By mid-week, I was questioning if perhaps I had made a mistake snagging up the house. Perhaps, in true me fashion, I have gotten myself in over my head. [Another fine mess I’ve gotten us into.] I thought about just packing it in, packing it up, and moving back to The Rocket. In The Rocket I didn’t have to worry about my life crumbling. [Because I didn’t have one.] Suddenly, I feel all of this weight on my shoulders. I still have all of my original responsibilities and obligations. Now I have all of these added responsibilities and obligations. Plus, I have looming responsibilities and obligations that I have yet to figure how I am going to deal with them. Once I pushed through my frustration, I took a deep breath. I calmed my mind Just Enough and I decided that I would give it two more weeks and see where things are at and how I feel then. All I will say right now is that by the end of the week I saw a difference in things and I thought back on that moment of despair. I remembered hearing those very words – Don’t Give Up. I’m glad I didn’t. I think I can take it to another level though as well. I could say that I shouldn’t give up on trying. Trying to do better, be better, improve the situations, get things done…remain balanced. Sometimes it is easier to just say, “Fuck it.” As hard as my path is going to be, this is not one of those times.

Observation – I’ve Lost My Me

I’ve been feeling very off lately. I haven’t been balanced. Things have been so chaotic that I truly can only remember a few moments of the past several weeks. Everything else has become Once Upon Ago. As I looked at my life, trying to put it into perspective, I realized that I have lost quite a bit of myself in this process. I have been so consumed by succeeding on this path that I was letting go the things that were most important to me. Not necessarily external things, but internal ones. I’ve lost a bit of my enthusiasm and passion for life. I have lost a bit of my gentleness and compassion. I’ve lost my focus and my center. I’ve lost my interest. All of these things are still in there somewhere. I have just lost sight of them, misplaced them. It may be time to get them back.

The Post

This week was very hard and very sucky. And it all starts with a drawer.

[Not really, but it seemed that way.]

I woke up Monday morning to find myself back in the red about $130. This was not exactly how I wanted to start my week. I had already feared that it was going to be too challenging to get through and now I had to start from square -130.

There had been quite a few hints throughout the morning to take the day off and do things at the house. I thought about how absolutely ridiculous this notion was. I mean, I was already in a mess and taking off wouldn’t help fix the problem. Still, hour by our, I would put off my day.

I didn’t quite make it out by 7 so I told myself I would get out by 8. I didn’t quite make it out by 8 so I told myself I would get out by 9. And that is how the morning went.

As the morning minutes ticked by and I was trying to time my departure, I was doing all of these random little things to make the most of my time. One of these things was to fix a drawer in the kitchen. I had already taken it out and determined the problem. All I had to do was add one screw and I would be golden.

I’m not sure which Universe I thought I was living in…but it wasn’t mine.

I got the screw in and in the end I somehow found myself with a bigger mess on my hands than when I started. [Now that’s my Universe.] This just made me more frustrated. I knew I didn’t have the time to deal with it then. I had drawers and cookware and tools all over the kitchen and now they were going to be that way until…someday. Whenever it was I could find myself swinging back around to this project.

I did end up taking Monday off. After the drawer, I think I just finally gave up fighting it. The Universe was speaking and I needed to listen so I could hear. I cannot regret the decision. Financially, it made for much more stress in my weak. But I did get the drawer fixed and things back in place. In fact, I got quite a bit done that day.

I needed that.

Other than the drawer, I can’t really tell you what I did. I just kind of went for several hours. I did what I do best. I bounced from one thing right into the next – often overlapping and interweaving tasks. At the end of the day, I even managed to get a little rest time. I mean, I did things. I ate dinner and I broke down some cardboard boxes for recycling, but I sat in my chair and I watched TV while I did it all.

Tuesday? Once upon ago.

Wednesday I remember because Wednesday SUCKED. It started fairly good. Then the snow came and that threw my whole day off. First, I learned that The Rocket isn’t really good in the snow at all. It may be it’s current condition. I know I’m gonna need new tires all around. I have that problem with the control arm and sway bar link. It could just be the build of the car. It could be a combination of both.

The snow came in fast and hard. It didn’t snow a lot that day. It did eventually turn to rain. But when it snowed it covered the roads quickly and they got very slick and difficult to navigate. It was just after lunch had started and I had two deliveries to finish before I could get home and get off the road.

It was a nightmare. I was so tense and tightly wound by the time I pulled into the driveway. [Which almost didn’t happen as The Rocket slipped and slid its way towards missing it.] The snow did turn to rain and that went on through the night. I may have been able to go back out for dinner. I did give it some serious consideration. My concern was that, though I was certain the main roads were good, I was just as certain the side roads were not. Because of the area in which I live, a lot of my deliveries take me to places off of the beaten path. Of course, I could turn these jobs down. But, going out and taking the risk just to turn the majority of work down didn’t seem to make much sense.

Thursday and Friday are both Once upon ago. I only know that over those two days my tensions mounted. I was becoming more and more worried about my situation. I had calculated it out and my best possibility was that I would end the week $199 in the red. “Don’t worry,” whispered The Voice. “It’s coming. It will all be alright.”

That shit pisses me off…and I let it be known. “You can’t do that. You can’t just keep saying ‘oooh don’t worry. It will be alright.’ You need to put some cold hard cash in my hand buddy. I can’t pay bills with promises.”

Anyway, Saturday was a big day. I had furniture to move. Quite a bit of it. And it was spread all over the place. I was getting a dining table and chairs from Spooky Queen. Bert-On’s girlfriend had a queen sized bed for me to pick up. And Bert-on himself had 2 entertainment centers for me to pick up. One at his home and one at his parents’ workshop.

All of this was going to require a box truck. Thank G-d for that credit card. That blessed curse of a credit card.

I had this whole thing plotted out, or so I thought. I had mapped it out and timed it out. I knew who, what, when, where. Bert-on had offered to help me get it all moved and into New Geistopia.

I rented the truck near Spooky Queen and that would be my first and quickest stop. First, yes. Quickest? Not quite. We all chatted for longer than I would have imagined. All sorts of things came up. There are several activities her boys are involved in and they would like me to come and see them. We talked about me joining them for a hockey game. And, of course, Spooky put her pitch in to recruit me for The Seasonal Store this year. Eventually I headed out and met up with Bert-On at his girlfriend’s place.

This is a little bit more than I had pictured but then I did not really know what I was dealing with in the first place. The bed came apart in some interesting pieces. Then we had to haul it all down two flights of steps, around banisters and such. Finally, loaded and strapped into the truck. Mattress and all.

From there we headed to Bert-On’s apartment. This was actually the quickest stop of them all. Even with him taking his dog for a restroom walk. We only had one entertainment center to pick up. It is brand new and still in the box unassembled. So it was very easy. Once it is together and in place, it will be a post picture.

Finally, we headed to the shop. This entertainment center was one that he had designed and built. It is about 6’ long and just as tall if not taller. It has drawers and cabinets and shelves. The whole works. It was taken apart into about 7 pieces. They were solid and they were heavy. At one point I looked at him and laughed a bit.

“You didn’t really design these with moving them in mind, did you?”

He chuckled and smirked a bit, “no not really.”

We got it all back to the house, unloaded and somewhat in place. He helped me get the foundation of his entertainment center put together. That was a little more complicated than either of us thought. We had some missing connectors but we got it to work.

Now, in my head I am kind of stressing throughout the day. This was taking quite a while and those pieces were very heavy. My body was tired. But, I wanted to get out on the road when we were done. Like I said, I had calculated out my whole scenario. IF I managed to make $150 on Sunday, I was still going to find myself short about $199. I wasn’t going to fix all of that, but I could at least get on the road and make it all not so bad.

As we wrapping up and Bert-On was putting things back in his car, I came around the corner to find some stuff on the new kitchen Table. Bert-on had asked me to charge a couple of things for him. Spiritually speaking. So, I needed to do that before we left. That took a little while and, of course, opened up several different dialogues.

Here’s what ya gotta know. Underneath the items to be charged was $120 cold hard cash.

Anyway, life moved on. I got the truck returned, gas and all. I did make it out onto the road to make just enough to close the rest of that gap. I was home early enough to sit and eat dinner, finish my laundry and struggle to put the bed together. That would be my first night sleeping in my own actual bed in well over a decade.

That is a very odd experience. I’ve slept in beds from time to time. None was my own and all were temporary. This is one to which I know I can return night after night after night. One of many odd experiences for me of late.

Today I got up and did what needed to be done. Truth is, I am actually starting tomorrow about $48 in the red. This is only because I broke down and went for some groceries for the first time in two weeks. I figure that was all stuff for the coming week and therefore the expenditure is applied to that budget. [So it doesn’t count as a deficit.]

It all worked out. Promises were made and promises were kept. All of that stress and worry was for nothing.

You would think that after all of these years I would just accept that January is a void. It never matters how it look going into it or what I think I know about my life – January will always do its own thing. It’s rarely fun and never easy. I am actually beginning to feel about January as I do Virginia. I cringe when I see it on the horizon and I am so very relieved when I am through it.

This week we come upon Imbolc. Things are not perfect but they have taken shape. The house is starting to look and feel like a home. I have been given many pieces with which to work. But, we will get into all of that starting next week as my year officially begins.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**

No Totems to speak of this week. I mean, I’m sure there were some. But I cannot remember enough of the week to recall what they may have been.