The Anomal-ation

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

Welcome To My Life is a project, an experiment in Life and ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise is that life is experiential, and that you can, and do, experience the life you choose. It is based on The Wheel of Life and The ARTs for The New Millennium as life building tools.

Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and sometimes unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co.

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

Professor Siggy Chong

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop (may they R.I.P.)

PDT

‘Blue 326’

The Original KLT

The Looch

The Baker

Bert-on

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Hoagie

The Anomaly

The Wix-ians

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Mama Rabbit

And, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Someday, July(ish), 2018. Time...Undefined

Theme of the Week – Keep It ‘Real’

Lesson of the Week – You Have What You Need to Move Forward

Observation of the Week – I’m Breaking Down

Totems –Squirrel

The week started rough, much rougher than I would have liked. I mean, I drifted through Monday. It was what it was and I got done what I set out to do…mostly. The weather around Geistopia has been fairly dreadful. We’ve been having rain and thunderstorms and even small tornadoes. Needless to say, it has not been fit for doing too much outside.

Obviously, this puts a damper on doing any work in The Garden. [Really??]

(Sorry, I couldn’t help it.)

*Shakes head*

Anyway, it was also going to keep me from stripping down more metal. I’ve been focusing on it because I kinda need the money. In a big way. I got paid Sunday. The check was deposited and cleared first thing Monday morning. Monday afternoon I had $70 [minus things yet to post.] This is money to last me 2 weeks plus my subscriptions are due. I’m not going to lie. I went into a bit of a panic mode.

However, even with the rain, I could strip copper wire. So between Monday and Tuesday I stripped about 20-25 lbs. of copper. I picked up some aluminum cans, and I have the metal I already prepped.

On Thursday I would attempt a trip to the metal yard. Now this was suppose to bring me enough cash to kind of skate by for a moment. So, I still needed more.

Tuesday afternoon I was contacted by a woman whom I have done some work for in the past. She needs a quick job done. She didn’t know who else to contact. Is this the possibility of another little bit of money?

So, I got myself kind of balanced. It does look like I may actually have enough to skate by just a little bit longer. And, a little bit longer is all I need.

Tuesday, I got a text from the seasonal store. I have already been marked as hired. [SCORE!] I also found out that it is starting a bit sooner than I had expected. Another score. I definitely could use the extra income at the moment. [One might wonder why I left The Big Box then? Well, because I knew this was coming, of course.]

So it will give me just enough of a boost in income to do what gotta be done and then some. But, also, it should give me some leverage with Domestic Relations. I was behind in support after the unemployment. I got that settled and balanced using the Big Box. However, because I missed work and lost hours with my back as well as days they would call us off, I fell behind again.

I went in last month thinking I needed to have like $400 cash in hand to get settled. It is true that is what I am behind, but that was getting taken care of through the wage garnishment. This was in regards to the new missed payments. The total was $75. I had $20 on me, because I have learned it is best to go with at least something than nothing at all. So I was scheduled to come back on Thursday to settle that up. Once again, I only have about $20. But it all becomes irrelevant because there are new missed payments, again with hours not worked at the Big Box and the delay between wage garnishment transfer to the Theatre. So, technically I owe more than the remaining $55 anyway.

The plan is to offer the $20 in good faith and then suggest a second wage garnishment on the seasonal store. That should be enough to clear the new balance and also help towards the old.

One less friggin’ thing to think about. *sigh.*

Okay, so Monday is what it is and Tuesday starts out pretty much the same. All systems go, ya know what I mean? Situation normal. [Soon to be fucked up.]

By the end of Tuesday, I am suffering. Hoagie was here and I had to send him on his way. I went to bed early and with a horrible headache. I was so wishing for some amethyst. Then I lay down and I feel sick. It’s like a hangover and I had A beer. Hoagie had my second. [Gotta keep to the Rule of Odds.] And, I was so hot. The AC wasn’t on and I was too afraid to get up to turn it on because I thought for certain that if I stepped out of that bed I was hurling everywhere.

So, for hours I suffered. I would lay there and Reiki myself [perverts…] I would apply energy healing unto myself. Better? I would inevitably drift off, but not for long I would wake up and it would be the same all over again. My head pounding, my body queasing. And, each time I would pray for relief. I am pretty sure at one point I went into convulsions as well.

I’ve had that feeling before. I have suffered through it too often. It’s nothing really, just a trifle. I swallowed a Spirit that didn’t agree with me. No big deal, right? All in a day’s work.

Perhaps it was whatever was Skitting about The Garden a week prior. I certainly didn’t feel the same after that. In fact, I am just now coming back into myself. It wasn’t the Daemon himself. A minion perhaps. He beat me up pretty good.

The Daemon still lingers near, taunting me. He revealed his presence to me for but just a moment today. He beckons me to return and find the other 6 pieces. Those answers that I know are there and that I know I will need in order to face what is coming. But…I can’t.

I don’t want to look upon any of it ever again. I still haven’t recovered from that first night. Somewhere it is captured on video – the night I called him because I thought I could face him. [Silly human.]

The thing is, once I faced him I knew him. I knew him for a long time. It was his scent that was on me. He was there when I died.

*Deep breathe*

Ah, well. You’ll have this.

Will I go back? Indubitably. The real fun can’t begin until I do. Eh, but we’ll get there.

On Tuesday, I felt inspired to share some of my newly rediscovered writings on Facebook. The first thing I shared was an intro page I had once put together for The Book. I enjoyed the reactions to it. Piz actually texted me and asked if I was ok. His exact words were, “Your most recent posts are either incredibly deep fictional prose, or epic level personal introspection.”

“Or perhaps a slight combination of both,” I snickered and winked.

That’s actually the truth of it. I have found that with a lot of the writings I have rediscovered. I take these ordinary moments of thought and dress them up all fun. The second one I shared was just that. Me telling my ordinary story in a dressed up way. It had a similar tone and flow to it as the first posting. I can only assume that they were written about the same time.

The third was a letter written but never sent. There was no place to send it. It was a letter to a love lost, a love almost never had. It did bring tears to my eyes. I mean, obviously it hit home. I remember her. I don’t think about her anymore, but I do, from time to time, remember her oh so fondly.

She came to me near the beginning of my path. She was my equal. She the Goddess and I her consort. I truly did worship the ground that this girl walked on. She lifted me up and inspired me and centered me and kept me real.

We would talk every morning on the phone. Every day that is how I would start my day and it was never right if I didn’t. She taught me. She challenged me. Every day the conversation would end the exact same way. It mattered not who said it first for both of us would anyway.

“Ok. Talk to you later. Have a day.”

“Fuck you, Matt.”

“Fuck you, Jenni Lord.”

It would take a long time before I truly understood that exchange. I never minded it. I admired it, in fact. But don’t you see? She would say it because she did like me…and she couldn’t. I said it because I knew. And, it was the closest we could ever get to saying, “I love you.”

You see, it wasn’t just phone calls. No. We would escape. I would come and steal her away from…from that place. Oh, that place. My G-d, how I loathe that place. But I would come and I would take her away. Just far enough so that she could be free and soar.

Oh, the afternoons in that grassy glen. It was as if Wonderland itself had opened up before us. Oh, I have never known anything as splendid as those afternoons. We would run and play. Barefoot in the water.

Then the day would come that we found The Retreat. It was as though it had been carved out just for us. We would crawl in there and waste entire afternoons silently listening to the world pass by. She would climb and play and explore and I…I would watch, like the dutiful guardian. Ne’er a word was spoken.

We talked to and/or saw each other every day. She would always be around. And, forever keeping herself just beyond my touch. But, once. Once in a moment of…I don’t know what…once she would give me the Pan’s kiss.

And then…she would be gone. Forever. She had to leave and no part of me could go with her.

There was only one person who would know the truth of me and her Jenniness. That would be DancingQueen. I was with DancingQueen for three years. She knew me well. She is probably one of the only three people who really know me at all. They were the ones that were there through the thick of it. They saw me in the beginning.

That’s what was good about DancingQueen. She knew how to ‘handle’ me. She could read my levels. She knew when I had to go but she also knew when I had to come back and she was very good at getting me there. There were two things that always scared DancingQueen about our relationship.

One – She did know me. She knew the life that I was living. And…she knew that if I woke up one morning to The Call that I would follow without question. Here and then gone.

Two – The return of her Jenniness. I don’t think a month went by that she didn’t tell me that if her Jenniness ever came back for any reason she was leaving me because she knew she would lose me.

So…yeah. The letter hit me quite a bit. But also, I thought it was very poetic. I totally captured the essence of who we were then and it was written three years after.

It was then I realized the pain is deeper than I can reach. I don’t know what it is, but it has always been there. An emptiness. A void. I have tried a thousand times and a thousand ways to find it, heal it, fix it, bless it…whatever. All to no avail.

And, what a time to be hit by all of this. Now. In the face of…The Anamoly.

Let’s review this, shall we? Let’s do this. Can we do this? Let’s see if we can follow along. I don’t know. Here we go:

So, I’m mindin’ my own business. I am. I’m just dopin’ along doin’ my thing. Right? Doin’ what we all know I do best. So, there I am. Now, this chick walks in and like…BAM! I’m done. My whole system short circuits and I am on the fritz for days. I don’t even know how long that shit lasted. I mean…WOW!

And this is my initial reaction to her. Just WOW! Sheer beauty, yes. Oh so very, very beautiful. Oh, G-d. But it was more than that. It was deeper than that. It was something in that soul. My G-D, WOW!

So, days later…

*shrugs*

Days later when my head finally catches up with my ass…I’m no better, really. But, I have my head on and I’m like…”Ok. Ok. Fine. So, here’s this chick. She’s here for a reason.”

This much I have figured out. This has all the trademarks. I mean, once I got over the initial – holy WOW of her presence – I could see that much. It really does. All the trademarks of f’n Spirit. So, fine, she’s here for a reason.

I mean, I think it’s a little sucky, and I have told Spirit as much. Right?

SO…ya put this chick before me…”for a reason…,”knowin’ damn well that this shit gonna break me. Like completely. Not even in two. This shit gonna bust me up into a million pieces. And then you have the balls to say to me, “uh, uh, uh….wait for it…”

WTF?

You twisted mother….

So here we are. She is here for a reason and if this wasn’t clear right away it became almost frightening clear when she uttered the name of the only Spirit that would catch my attention.

Now here I am very well aware that none of this is by chance. Any possibility of this went out the window with aforementioned Spirit. This shit is real. No lie it was a call to arms. The bugles blow. It was like the friggin’ bat signal went off. My spider sense was tingling…

WALT: That’s not the only thing that was tingling…

HEY! Keep it clean. Nobody needs Johnny whatshisfutz comin down here. I’m having enough trouble with censorship.

So, fine. She’s here for a reason – for me, for her, for who the F’ knows. So I gotta make contact. I gotta stay around. Right? That shit was made clear.

But, the whole time, my head is spinnin’ round this chick. I mean, I am floored. She jus…she does. She breaks me. I am so overwhelmed by her presence. When I tell you that every time I walk away from her I must catch my breath…I’m not exaggerating. Every…single…time.

I could lose myself in her.

I could have lost myself in her that night. Oh, that night. That cursed night. I was set-up. I was duped. From the outset of that initial conversation, Spirit knew precisely how that was going to play out. I was set up to be alone…

…together…

…with her.

I could have lost myself in her. I would have lost myself in her. Maybe I should have.

Truth is, I already had.

She gave me the kiss too. Only, it wasn’t a kiss.

One day, I’m mindin’ my own and dopin’ along and she walks past, her fingers brushing over my shoulder as she says, “hi.” That was it. I was gone. Something shot through me like I cannot describe. I was done. Shit, this girl owns me and she don’t even know it.

And, she can’t. Because I can’t. And, even if I could…she would never…

Believe me. This chick is over the top. She is so far beyond me in so many ways and on so many levels. She would never, she could never.

Dulcinea, anew.

“Fuck you, Matt.”

The same old song and dance.

So close, and yet so far.

The story of my life. A dangle here and a dangle there.

Like I said, I have nothing to give but myself. And, who wants that? I am old. I am beaten. I have been used f’n hard…

For who could ever love…a beast.

Still, there she is and there she will remain.

I made the mistake of looking into her eyes today. I realized that I didn’t know what her eye color was, because I had never made direct eye contact. I don’t usually. Anyone who knows me well can attest to this. That can be a dangerous game for someone like me.

The eyes truly are the windows to our souls, and, quite frankly, I don’t wanna know.

Not once, but twice. The first time it took me too long to focus on the color and not the pupil. Again, this is why I don’t look people in the eye – such beauty, such grace. Anyway, in that light and my fleeting glance, I would say green. However, later, in the darker light I thought perhaps blue.

Nonetheless…

*Sigh*

Why did I look into her eyes?

Just more images in the rotation. These moments in time. When I tell you that these images of her get etched into my mind and play over and over again, I , again, am not exaggerating. Because…if I could draw, I would draw her…over and over again. So many moments of stunning beauty.

What is it about a woman that makes a man stop and take notice? The way she moves, seeming to flow effortlessly on the waves of life? How she mysteriously tantalizes the senses? What secret is it that she holds? She hides it behind an impish smile, luring you closer and closer in the hopes that she may reveal it to you. Something in her laugh, breathy and inviting, as it slides slowly over her tongue and past her lips, scarlet with passion. What inner beauty does she possess? That glimmering in the eyes that speaks of a soul on fire. A temptress, leading you into the depths of your own soul.

She is Eve in the Garden of Eden.

Yeah…so this is my life.

So, without hesitation…

For now and for always, from here in Geistopia this is your beloved Rev wishing you Peace, Love, Light and Freakishness, baby!

Please feel free to leave comments, questions, and concerns. I don’t know you are there if you don’t say, “Hi.” Also, you’re experience of WTML is just as important as mine. So, let me know what you think. Secondly, if you would like to connect, or find out more about me, you can find WTML on Facebook @TheNewWTML or myself at @rev.mgeist.