A Post with No Name

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Yeah, it’s true.

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co.

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Warden

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Hoagie Snowflake

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

The Looch

The Bassett Hound

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason

Oh, Danny Boy

St. Diane & You

Brother John

Thing 1 & Thing 2

The Nameless One

Good Man, Charlie Brown

‘Jim’

The Rox

CCPA

Senoll #5

Superstar

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Belle

The Witch Baby

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, August 9, 2020. Time...Aligning.

Theme – Knight [of the Tarot]

Lesson – When I Can, I Do

Observation – Reflections [Repeated Patterns]

Feedback

Wisconsin says she liked the last post. She thought it felt more like me than some other recent posts. It definitely was. I have been struggling with the writing and I have confessed as much. But this past week things flowed a little bit better. Everything has been feeling a little bit more like me recently.

Also, she asked where I got the information for the body. It is in a little book titled You Can Heal Your Body which is a companion book to You Can Heal Your Life. Both by Louise L. Hay.

The Post

I have to kind of laugh at the ‘Time’ this week, because it certainly doesn’t feel like it. In the last week, it seems as though everything has gone backwards. Absolutely nothing I have been planning is working out [once again.] Nothing, except, the plans with The Princesses. So, I suppose I have that to be joyful and grateful for.

But, everything else is jumping off the tracks.

I am out of The Dormitory. Though I have known for several weeks that it was time to move on, I had hoped to get through these next two weeks with The Princesses before I really had to face it. I figured I could come back and still have a couple of weeks to tie up loose ends and find a place.

Of course, I also figured I was coming back to 2 jobs that would be paying me almost double what I am making now and still afford me one or two days off each week. That doesn’t seem to be happening. There have been complications. It actually has nothing to do with The Job. It is because of The Princesses’ Quest...and the house sitting. The last I had heard anything [un]official, it looked like my store would start mid to end of next week. Turns out, it is starting this Wednesday. As store manager I would have to be there from the 1st day and not miss one for at least the first twelve. Well, I am house-sitting this week and, in usual fashion, I made arrangements to have The Princesses come and stay with me a few days. They will be coming Tuesday morning and I won’t be taking them home until Thursday. I could work Wednesday, but not on Thursday. I need that day to get myself settled back into the car. Still even if I could work the rest of this week, I would be missing the first three of next week. So, no Store Manager. At best, I could go back as an Assistant [if the position is still available.] However, that would be significantly less money, and it would force me into working 4 days at The Job and the other 3 at The Seasonal store. I’d still be making more than I am now and it would certainly help.

But, how long can I survive working 7 days a week while living out of my car?

I really don’t know what I am going to do with that.

And, things with The Job seem to be getting shakier with each passing day. First and foremost, it really is beating me up. Today, for example, it took me over two hours after getting off of work to feel like maybe I could function. I had to come back to Brother John’s and sleep first. I barely even made it here. I was just so worn out. That’s what every day is like. I don’t think it should be that way. I mean, I’ve always had to shut down for some period of time after every job. Even way back when I was working the office job. I would come home and crash out for like 10 minutes. I do this almost every time I am going to ‘shift gears’ in my day. I shut myself down, let go of everything that is behind me, and when I get up I am ready to face whatever is ahead. But this is different. I got off of work 3 hours ago and I still don’t feel right. [I figure it’s going to be morning before I have myself back together again.]

WALT: All the king’s horses and all the king’s men…

Stop it.

WALT: What? You don’t like nursery rhymes?

I like nursery rhymes. I’m just not sure that I like nursery rhymes from you.

WALT: Funny you should say that because I happen to have a few.

Oh do you?

WALT: I do.

Oh god I’m scared. Go on. Ain’t nothing gonna stop you anyway.

WALT: At least you got that much figured out. Ready? Here we go…Jack and Jill…

Jack and Jill

WALT: Went up the hill

So far so good.

WALT: To fetch a pail of water.

Alright.

WALT: That stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they got a daughter.

Ohhh god.

WALT: Hickory dickory dock…

Oh no.

WALT: Two mice ran up her sock…

JOHNNY: Walter.

WALT: One stopped at her garter. The other one was smarter. Hickory dickory dock. Wait. Here’s one I learned in the kindergarten.

Lord save us all.

WALT: Learned it in the kindergarten…There was an old lady who lived in a shoe…

Ok. I know this one.

WALT: She had so many children, she didn’t know what to do. There was another old lady…

Not so much this one.

WALT: Who lived in a shoe…

………..

………..

Would you just finish it already. Put me deeper into my misery please.

WALT: She had no children…she knew what to do. You know what I mean? A lil *whistles*

Yes. Yes, I know what you mean. What the hell kind of kindergarten did you go to?

WALT: The fun kind. I got my edumacation out behind the barn.

Passed each examination, did ya?

WALT: Ah, you know how the song goes.

*sighs* Are you finished?

WALT: Yeah. I just had to lighten the mood a bit. You get way too heavy, dude. But go ahead. Do your thing. Set us up. You serve…I’ll lob.

Tennis references?

WALT: I’m a man of many colours. *shrugs*

Anyway…it’s getting to me. It is every day that I go in there and we are working one person to three jobs. But, it is what it is. It just makes it difficult to keep wanting to return. Especially when I consider it really hasn’t helped the most pressing issue as of yet and doesn’t seem like it will for some time…if at all. But even then, I would need to be giving more time to a job that is slowly breaking me.

This past week they had me in another store helping out. That went pretty much as I would have expected. It wasn’t terrible and I survived it, but I certainly had no desire to go back. Only, I look at the schedule for this coming week and they have been penned in for two days over at that store. It just so happens that it is two of the days I had requested off to be with The Princesses.

So, let me take a moment to explain how I handle requests off. First, I really do try not to have them. More often than not, I can maneuver my life around my schedule. I just wish we could get Monday’s schedule before Saturday or Sunday. But, when I have them, I take them. [When I Can, I Do.] And, I have had quite a few of them recently. But, it is not as bad as it sounds.

I try to be very particular with my requested time. For such a long time, if I wanted any kind of time off, it was just lost income. I haven’t had a paid vacation in over 2 decades. In situations like The Theatre I would lose money hand over fist when I took my week vacation with the girls. But, also, with The Theatre if I needed to take a Saturday off for some reason there was no making it up on another day. It was just gone. This was a big problem last year during The Middle School Show. I needed to take a lot of time off to see that project through. This sucked for The Theatre, but it also sucked for me because I lost a lot of money along the way. [Of course, money did find me in other ways.]

But, now, with The Job, I have pieces that I can move around and play with. I ‘must’ put in 40 hours a week. With rare exception, this happens in 4 ten hour days. The week runs from Monday to Sunday. If I tweak it right, with the exception of minor adjustments, everyone wins. I can satisfy my requirement to The Job and have the time I need without losing money.

Let’s look at this week, for example. Tuesday is my Re-Birthday, and I would have wanted to take that day off no matter what. Thursday, Brother John and his family return home. Time, as of yet, undetermined. [As it should be.] So, I would have requested that day off as well. I looked at all the pieces, including The Princesses, and determined that I could take my normal 3 days off, cover both of these things and have The Princesses all at the same time. No harm, no foul. I’ve asked for nothing more than what I am normally granted. I just asked for it to be timed specifically.

With the trip to The Canyon, I actually took 5 days off in total. The three days of the trip, plus a Day Before and a Day After. I knew I would need these. I timed it so that those days got split over two separate schedule weeks. I requested off three at the end of the first and two at the beginning of the second. [I couldn’t afford myself that luxury for this next trip.]

But, you see, I do try to work it out so ‘everyone wins.’ Nonetheless, here we are. I have made a request and they disregarded it. I left the GM a note letting him know that I saw the schedule and that I had requested those two days off. However, there was a second part to that note. Originally, I had only requested Monday and Tuesday off next week. There were other vacations to deal with later in the week, plus The Princesses start school on Thursday. [Virtual only.] But then, The Assistant told me she was changing her request so that I could still have my three days off that week – meaning Wednesday. I took this as a sign. When this Quest first came to me, it came to me in a set of 3. As it should. In a perfect world, we would be leaving tomorrow morning and coming back Wednesday night. I wanted to do this with them over my Re-Birthday Observation. But, alas, I am house-sitting. So, I moved it a week and shortened it. I have since extended or hotel reservation to include Tuesday night. I figured I should take advantage of the opportunity to let the girls really enjoy themselves, but also to make sure I am well rested for the drive home. It is going to have to be a push, no matter when we set out. Now, I didn’t do this right away. I waited until the pieces settled a little. Then I saw a financial boost. I took that as my second sign, and I didn’t need a third. The third actually came after I had extended the reservation. That was when we learned the school year would start as virtual. I took this as validation. I no longer felt guilty about bringing them home a little later.

Anyway, I do not know what his plans were for scheduling next week, but I have heard that he is planning a managers meeting for Wednesday. So, on the note, I included that piece of information – that I won’t be back until later on Wednesday. This is my foul and I would understand any anger of it, but right this moment, I don’t seem to care. This coming week, I am actually scheduled off only two days, when I requested off three. Two of the days they have me scheduled are days I requested off. This is their foul.

This may all seem like a lot of information, unnecessary even. [And, it may be.] But, I find it all very important in my curiosities.

Last night, I made note to myself that I couldn’t ‘see’ Monday. This was curious to me. Usually, if I cannot see a timeframe it is because there are unknown [undetermined] factors. This meant that the next time I could see work was at the end of the week, and that left me slightly uncomfortable. I have this thing going on lately – if I start a week, I will finish a week. And, chances are, if that week happens to be the first of a pay period, I will work the second and see it through. Usually, I motivate myself further by assigning each pay a task or duty. For instance, there is a pay at the end of next week, only two days after we get back from our trip. I worked this past week, and hope to work this coming week to cap it off. Then I know that even if we run this trip tight that I only need to survive a day and I will be alright. Believe me. I can survive a day.

But, there’s something in the air. The shift isn’t finished. The changes, incomplete. I can feel it. The pieces haven’t settled. The smoke hasn’t cleared. I know very little beyond that. But, this is the week that could determine my work.

I find it very interesting that it all seems to be coming to a head right now, at this point in time. We are about to enter Week 32 of The Experiment. You thought I forgot, didn’t you? I didn’t. But I am sure you may have. I told you some time ago that I wouldn’t delve into it until it was relevant and one of those markers was Week 33. THE Master number. [At least, for this plane’s intents and purposes.]

This also puts us at the beginning of Week 28 of The Job. Normally, there would be nothing significant I would try to make of this. But, tonight, something caught my attention. At 28 [age], we begin to experience what is known as The Saturn Return. Some refer to it as The Dark Night of The Soul. Though it is a heavy and challenging experience, I think that is a tad ominous. Don’t you?

Quite simply, it is a time when life breaks down. We find that the illusion of who we think we are begins to dissolve and life begins to become something altogether different. It happens to most folks between the ages of 28 and 33. [Do you see what I see?]

WALT: Do you hear what I hear?

God, I hope not.

DOC: *sings* Said ze night vind to ze little lamb…

No, Doc. No. No, no, no. Don’t. No.

DOC: Too soon?

Much.

Any hoot and a holler…This caught my interest because as we begin Week 28 of The Job, that is exactly how I am feeling and with what I am struggling.

Whoever it is I think I am, whatever life I am trying to live, just obviously is not right. There is something askew. I don’t know what it is. I cannot stress enough that truly have tried every path, approach, mindset, magick that I can think of. Trust me when I tell you that I have even tried some of the very odd and random shit that has come my way. But I just cannot seem to find my place in this world…my purpose, my duty…my life. I have no clue anymore. So, all I can do is continue to be just a guy dopin’ along and hope that one day I trip over it.

As I go into this week, ahead of me, there are so many possible choices, paths to follow. Yet, every single one of them seems like a step backwards. Right this moment, I see nothing ahead of me that lifts me up any time soon. No matter how hard it gets, no matter how far back it pushes me, I must persevere. I cannot rest because I must find my place now. Damnit, it is time.

I have rambled on quite incessantly now.

WALT: You’re kiddin’.

Don’t you start with me. You aided and abetted.

WALT: Hey…those files are supposed to be sealed!

JOHNNY: What? What was that?

WALT: Nothin’.

I still have 1,001 thoughts…

WALT: *sings* Oh, I come from a land in a far away place…

Stop it. Just stop it. Does everything make you think of a song.

WALT: Usually. But, no, actually that made me think of the collection of middle eastern folk tales the we commonly refer to as 1001 Arabian Nights…and that made me think of the song. What? Don’t look at me like that. I told you…man of many colours. Finish your show.

*continues to stare at him* I really don’t know you at all.

WALT: I know. That’s cause you never listen to me. You just don’t hear anything I say.

*laughs* don’t…just don’t….

WALT: I open myself up and make myself vulnerable…

Stop. Stop now.

WALT: What? No smooches after this?

JOHNNY: Gentlemen…puh…lease!

Well, that took long enough.

WALT: Yeah, man. I felt like I was workin’ overtime to push his buttons.

Squeeze his balls?

WALT: See, now you did it.

It’s still your fault.

JOHNNY: Reverend! Walter!

WALT: Salty Balls!!

*cracks up* Whaaaa….wtf?!?

WALT: I don’t know. I just like to see him get all red in the face. Lil eyes buggin’ out from behind those glasses. Looks like a frog.

Ok. We gotta wrap this up. I just can’t anymore. *sighs then laughs.* Have I told you how much I appreciate you?

WALT: Well, yeehaw! I am gonna get smooches.

JOHNNY: Walter…

WALT: Don’t worry, frog man. I got smooches for you too.

Oh, Calgon take me away.

Ok. I had one thing I wanted to share. But, now it is two.

First, there has been a great emphasis over the last several days on Gratitude. It hasn’t been just a thankfulness for here and now – for the moment. It has been an thankfulness for the whole of my life. It has been far from ideal. But it has left me touched. So many moments. So many memories. A lot of failures and a few triumphs. It has all made me who I am. It has blessed me with experience. It has left me feeling grateful for everything. Every moment, every song, every picture, every kiss, every failure, every broken heart. It has been overwhelming quite honestly.

The other thing, is the dog that I am sitting. I call her my lilli-pup. [Like Lilliput.] She is such a good dog. I have found, in my weeks of sitting, that she tends to be by my side quite often. It takes a day or two sometimes, but she becomes my instant companion. We definitely have a bond and a communication with each other and I appreciate it.

Last night, as I got all spiritual, I noticed that she actually came and sat by my side through the process. It was just fascinating. She sat perfectly still, and erect, like a good familiar should. She faced the proper direction. And, she stayed until it was all over. I took note, later, how she reacted to the spirits visiting outside. I called her name and she looked over her back at me.

“Don’t you worry about them. They’re here for me.”

With that she looked out the door once more and then came and laid near me.

She is a powerful pup. And she demonstrated that for me one more time today.

As soon as I got back from work she did everything she could to get me outside and keep me outside. I really wasn’t feeling it. But, I would humor her now and again. In the middle of this writing, soon after I went off about The Job [and I’m sure if you go back and check you will find the shift in tone] she barked to get me outside once more.

The bark means it really is time. That’s what I’ve learned. She’ll go out anytime she is given a chance and she may even go each time. But when she barks it is time. So I took her outside and I decided to give in and just hang out outside for a bit.

I totally zoned and started to zenitate. I realized being outside and unwinding was precisely what I needed. Lilli-pup was just trying to get me to do that all along.

Saturday, August 8, 2020; 1812

I have enjoyed today very much. It has been just what the doctor ordered. It has been mellow, yet productive. I have taken my time with everything and find that I am all caught up with moments to spare. So, here I am.

I have continued to clean and tidy as I settle in. I finished laundry and sorted it out. I sorted through my food stash and I sorted through a box of miscellany. I have run out twice for groceries and supplies. I kept up with my daily practices, cleansed and consecrated some things and even managed some time to soak. I have even eaten. For the first time in months I have eaten somewhat normally. Some fruit for breakfast. Soup for lunch. And, I have some dinner thing for tonight. [I’m saving the steak dinner for tomorrow night.] I still have one errand to run and a Tarot client to read before the night is through.

There are always so many thoughts, so many experiences, so many moments. It becomes difficult to capture them all without typing away frantically forever. For instance, I was thinking today how I associate things by feeling. Like, something about this house reminds me of my grandmother’s. I don’t know what it is exactly but it leaves me in the same space, with the same vibe. It’s peaceful, zenful. I think it might have something to do with the traffic outside. My grandmother lives right off of an interstate and you can hear the traffic constantly. Same here. The house sits on a very high traffic road so all night and day there are vehicles zooming by. I’ve always enjoyed that sound.

Or, this week’s Lesson. It started as an Observation. I noticed that I wasn’t really sitting idle this morning. There were things to be done and nothing keeping me from doing them. So, I did. The more I looked at it, I realized it was sort of a Theme in my life recently. Whether it is stuff at work, or piddling away at tasks in my day, or even something random like the Move-Out.

When I Can, I Do.

As I pondered this, I realized it was more of a Lesson for me – something I needed to know and accept about myself. I spent a very long time with people treating me like I did nothing or telling me how lazy I am. I think part of me started to buy into it. But, truth be told, when push comes to shove and at the end of the day –

When I Can, I Do.

I thought, this morning, about how I really do just want a place – a property and a home that I can tend to. I think I’m good at it. I take care of business. This is part of what led me to thinking about can and do. I find peace in taking care of a home – whether it is daily chores such as cooking and cleaning or even the yard work, or it is bigger projects – mending and tweaking. I enjoy the work. I enjoy the process. And, I think I’m pretty good at it, all things considered.

Being at Brother John’s is what inspires such thoughts. It does every time I am here. I think it’s because I look around and I see the perfect home. I love this place. I even told him the last time that if he ever thought about selling it, he should let me know. It is the perfect home for me. I could be perfectly content with something just like this. It is Just Enough of everything that I need or want.

But time marches on and I am getting older. So, it becomes frustrating that I only ever seem further and further from that goal. It is even more frustrating to think that my best years, my best work, was wasted at Old Geistopia. The moment I left, they ripped it all out and destroyed it. And, I am getting older and before long my body won’t take that kind of work.

I’m becoming concerned about my body. I have endured more discomfort since I began The Job than I can recall at any other time. I have suffered back pain many, many times in my life. But this is almost constant anymore. Always just a little tender and tweaked. I’m starting to feel it in my legs. I have only spent two nights in the car so far and I find I am quite twisted up. Fortunately I have this stint of house-sitting. But, then, I have four nights in the car plus work. Then I have two nights in a hotel. After that, I have no idea.

I really don’t know how this story goes or where I will find myself after The Princesses’ Quest. I have been contemplating and mulling over all options and possibilities that I can think of. There is an empty house I know of. I have been thinking about asking the owner [a stranger] if he would be willing to rent it to me on a short term basis so that I can keep my momentum and move on to a place more suited.

I have thought about the Rescue Mission. It is an option and a possibility and not a terrible one under current conditions, but I do not know how it will work with my hours for The Job. Plus, it wouldn’t really leave me in a position to work towards more or better – at least not financially. [Maybe, eventually, a place.]

I have contemplated an RV – two in one, right? Two birds and one stone.

I have even thought about just an upgrade in vehicles. If I have to live out of the car, it could at least be more comfortable.

I have even dreamed of the fantastic and amazing. Perhaps things will just, one day, turn around, and…SNAP!

It could happen, I suppose.

Anything is Possible.

So, I milled about this morning, doing this and tweaking that. I decided that I would put the driver’s license off until Tuesday morning. No pressure for time that day. I just want to be there when they open. I did, however, decide to hit The Farmer’s Market. I haven’t gone in a long time and I do so enjoy the experience. If I had a home, and the time, I would do a lot of shopping at one of the many farmer’s markets in the area.

The mission was to put together dinner for Tuesday night, when The Princesses and I will be hosting Craze. I did manage to put together dinner for four for twenty bucks. I was most pleased with this. At first, I was moving at a fast pace and I decided that I needed to just slow down and enjoy my time there. On my walk, I saw a notice for a house/property for sale. I glanced at it and almost passed it by. But then I decided, Everything Happens for a Reason. Precise & Perfectly Placed. So, I stopped and looked at it closer. I even took a pic of the posting. I figured it couldn’t hurt anything. After all, they say that when you want to manifest something you should start by attuning to it. So, why not have a look? Turns out it was a pretty good fit – some acreage, a house, some out buildings, and conveniently located. However, it was just slightly outside of the price range determined through the Million Dollar Question.

I left there and headed back to Brother John’s. I decided, against my better judgment, to stop and get a pack of cigarettes. I don’t remember the exact order of the thoughts or how it all came down. At one point I was reminded that earlier in the day I was shown that there is some celestial stuff going on that makes this a powerful time for manifestation – 8/8 after all. I had even had this thought already yesterday. I looked at the numbers. Then I remembered that I had had the thought to play the lottery today. Mostly because of the numbers. Then, I thought, that was a good Million Dollar plan, imagine what I could do with more. Before I knew it, I was getting my change for the pack and I was staring at a $3,000,000 ticket for $30.

This certainly caught my attention in that moment. It was one of those in the counter display and so it had a number on it. The number was 8. I took my pack and left. I laughed a bit.

“You’re asking an awful lot of me – spending $30 on that right this moment.”

“Look at it this way – tonight you have a reading. So, by the end of the day you will be no worse off than you are right this moment.”

That was a fair enough point. I reached the car and counted my cash. $8 short. [Are you noticing the number of 8s involved in this?] I thought about returning to the house, grabbing cash and just coming back when I ran out again later in the day. Instead, I decided to go in and see if they took debit cards as payment for lottery. Some do, some don’t. I figured, I was already there. Everything Precise & Perfectly Placed. If they took the debit, it was a done deal.

If I Can, I Do.

I could…and I did.

I thought about scratching it off tonight after my reading, but I decided, instead, I would save it until Tuesday. Sort of a Re-Birthday present to myself.

Well, speaking of the reading, I should probably get to that now.

Stay tuned, Fellow Travelers. Only time will tell.

Friday, August 7, 2020; 2130

Day 2.

Let’s jump back to the rest of yesterday first, though. [I say that, but, honestly, I don’t know how much of it I recall.] I don’t know where I left off in yesterday’s writings. Yesterday was hard [and I don’t know why.] I felt so very off, especially at work. All night, all I could think was that I just wanted to get through the night and to today. Of course, the night was not without its own level of excitement and drama.

This week they had me working in a different store. The store is already short-handed and then had vacations to deal with this week. So, they put me there. This was discussed when they talked to me about the promotion. The DL said he wanted to see me in another store [environment.] It was ok. I wouldn’t say it went well, but it wasn’t a disaster.

The biggest problem in a situation like this is that you are only a stand-in. They need a body and someone who can do the job. You’re out of your own element in a place where everything is different – even though it’s “the same.” Things are located in different places. The systems are just slightly tweaked. And, of course, when it comes to the crew, you are much like a substitute teacher. They will tolerate you because you are there and they must. But, they will also push you.

I had three nights there this week. The first two were very difficult. They are very steady in their business, and I found myself just running. I was there later than I should have been, and later than the crew. This was because I was stuck in a position for the whole of the night and couldn’t break away to take care of my paperwork and such. The first night I had problems with the money. It all worked out and was fine, but it was just stressful. [Bear in mind that I am notorious for f’n up the first time around on anything. True story.]

Last night I did manage to get to my paperwork in a timely manner and I was done at the same time as the crew. But there was something else different in the air last night. I had another manager with me for most of the night. One from the store. Maybe that had something to do with the chill in the air. Or, maybe it was just me. As I said before, I was very off last night.

Anyway, there were two things that are noteworthy from the night, both crew related. First, there was a young lady working last night whom I hadn’t worked with as of yet. She was a bit attitudey with me right from the start. Later, I caught part of a dialogue. I catch myself in this too, but sometimes it is interesting to me that people assume they won’t be heard. In fact, it just happened to me a few weeks ago. An employee clocked out and was in the dining room, eating and listening to music while he waited for the bus. The assistant manager and I were going about our business, pushing out orders, talking about whatever needed to be discussed – including some issues with this employee. About an hour later, he called the store and asked me if there was something wrong with him, because he had heard our conversation. Of course, I explained that there wasn’t an actual issue but there are things we need to address and I would have coached him on them the next day – just as I had come in and coached him that day. If I have an issue, I will address it. But, that’s not really the point, is it?

We were heard. Just as these two young ladies were heard last night. Apparently, I was not working up to this girl’s standards. I wasn’t doing enough, or wasn’t doing the right things, or I don’t know. But, she was neither happy, nor impressed. She made this clear to me all night long. Nonetheless, she voiced herself to this other manager, whose response was, “Well, some people don’t like to do more than they have to.”

Dayum.

The remark itself didn’t phase me really. I’m not worried about it. I know I’m a worker. I know I work hard and push to do my best in everything I do. So, I’m not really worried about it. What I found interesting is that it is usually me thinking this about someone else. In fact, I could have thought it about this other manager, who kept disappearing during the shift and actually did very little for the shift itself.

Reflections.

The second thing was a young man who seemed to have a problem wearing his mask. Thanks to The -Vid, everyone is required to wear a mask – in particularly, our employees. This is a state mandate. It is a stress point for the franchise. And, even the company itself has policies regarding it. Of course, no one likes it. It sucks. It really does. It’s bad enough to have to wear one when I go to the store, or the gas station, or…wherever. But, wearing one for 8 to 10 hours in the heat and grease [plus constant talking] really sucks. So, I get the resistance and the struggle. I do. I hate the damned thing. The DL told me one day that The Company is talking about making the mask a permanent thing. I said, “That’s the day I quit.”

Nonetheless, this kid just did not want to wear his mask. Every time I looked at him, he had it down around his chin. He’s in the kitchen, making food, with this mask down around his chin. Now, I’ll admit, if there aren’t any customers in the restaurant I do tend to be a little more lenient, because…I do get it. When I have enough of it, I can escape to the office where I am not near anyone, or dealing with anyone, and I can at the very least pull it down for a bit. These guys can’t do that. So, if there aren’t any customers and you get a little lax with your mask – ok.

But we had customers. We had lots of customers. Our drive thru had problems and we could only accept cash payments. So, everyone who wanted to pay with a card needed to come inside. I saw more front counter customers last night than I did the entire two previous shifts. So, I have this line of customers and I look up and this kid has his mask down around his chin. I told him [not for the first or second time that night] to put his mask up. He says to me, “I’m having an asthma attack.”

“Well, then get off the line.” The last place I want someone who is having an asthma attack is in the kitchen with the heat and the grease. But, let me just say, that if this boy was having an asthma attack, it was the most functional asthma attack I have ever seen. And, yes, I’ve seen them before. He was talking [a lot,] standing up straight, working at a fast pace. It was quite amazing for an asthma attack really. But…hey…ok. I’m not gonna call ya a liar. I’m just gonna tell ya to get out of my kitchen.

So, a few moments later, I look up and the mask is down around his chin.

“If you’re having an asthma attack, get out of the kitchen. Otherwise, the mask needs to be up.”

Needless to say, he pitched a fit. He went off and carried on. “I don’t get it. What’s the big deal? No one else cares. Why do you?”

“Because dem’s da rules. Mask up.”

He ranted and raved a bit longer and would eventually utter my favorite words from an employee who is trying to challenge me as a manager.”

“Well I can just go home.”

……….

“Bye.”

This tends to shock them a bit. They never actually expect you to say ok. They think it will get you to back down. Because [and this is what makes it my favorite phrase] they think you need them. They believe that without them the shift will crash and burn. They think they bring it all to the table.

HA!

Yeah…no.

“Bye.”

He carried on some more. I told him to leave. He came up, clocked out, went and got his stuff, and headed for the door – ranting and carrying on the entire time. As he reached the door, the other manager would appear – from wherever she had been – and he would begin to carry on to her, complaining and moaning. I told him to just go. I mean, really, it’s a done deal and all he’s doing is wasting his [asthma] breath and polluting my space with noise. I was already in the kitchen, dropping product, because…well…screw him. There was work to be done.

“Just go!”

The entire tone of the shift changed after that. I don’t think anyone on the staff was happy with me. But, then, I don’t care. First, them’s the rules. I don’t like it either, but we all gotta do it. Second, fill-in or not, like it or not, I am your supervisor – your superior – and you will not speak to me like that.

By the by, the customers all commended me. They felt I did the right thing. [I’m pretty sure that’s all that matters.]

So, I wouldn’t say it was a good week. But, that’s ok, because, honestly, I was only there to see if the GM was as cute as I thought she was. She wasn’t bad.

WALT: I certainly wouldn’t throw her outta bed for eatin’ crackers.

*shaking head* I just…can’t even with you right now.

WALT: Can you ever?

No.

So, anyway, that was yesterday.

Today was strange. I woke up and set about loading the MattMobile with stuff to bring with me to Brother John’s to sort through and organize. I chatted with The Putter a bit. This used to be a usual thing when I was living at Old Geistopia. We’re both up early and we both like to get outside and get at it early. So, we tend to run into each other in the driveway. It was interesting this morning because we were being watched. Boom-Dee-Aye kept peering out her upstairs window at us. He caught her, and commented, every time. I’m not sure what that’s all about, or why it’s gotta be like that. But, that’s the kind of stuff that keeps it from ever being different.

From there I headed down to the most recent site for The Seasonal Store. This was not really my plan for the day, but I had the time and opportunity, so I went. I only stayed about 5 hours, but they were well spent, I thought. I got some stuff done. Just Enough to feel accomplished. It was somewhat bittersweet. I am upset that I can’t do the store manager thing. I had really hoped to take that step this year. I mean, I determined last season that if I need to work for a corporation I want it to be that one. But, it is a climb to a year round position. Store manager would still put me two rungs below that. I’ve been playing the long game. So far, it had been one advancement a year. Until this year. Now, if I do it at all, it will be a step backwards. Still, Precise & Perfectly Placed. We shall see.

I left there and was headed to The Grove. I had some time to kill before I needed to be at Brother John’s and I couldn’t think of a better place to spend it. I grabbed some quick drive thru food along the way and headed out.

I got very tired on the drive. Like I just needed to rest. I don’t know why, or what causes it, but I am not unaccustomed to this at all. It happens. Sometimes, it is just time to stop – whether it be for rest, or Dreamtime, or whatever the need may be. I feel like I barely made it to The Grove. Once I was parked it did not take me long to go down and go deep. At one point, I would barely gain consciousness to find myself in the middle of a heavy thunderstorm. Suddenly, the tiredness made sense and I simply went back out.

I would eventually come to and spend the rest of my idle time grooving through the remainder of the storm. But, I was very heavy and foggy. I didn’t quite come back to myself the way I would have liked. In fact, I just recently started to feel as though I have completely shaken that experience off. Something is going on. Things are happening that I am really not aware of. I don’t know if they are good or bad or some perverse combination of both. I don’t know if this is a personal thing or something on more of a global, or even Universal, level. I just know that for [at least] a week [if not more] Spirit has been working overtime with me.

Again, we shall see, I suppose.

Now, here I am at Brother John’s. I have been here for several hours and I am finally feeling grounded and rooted and ready to go. [Mostly.]

I do not know exactly what tomorrow will be. There are things I’d like to do and things I could do. But, I’m not certain that I am going to be motivated towards much of anything tomorrow.

We shall see.

Thursday, August 6, 2020; 1224

As always, I try to write but there are things to be done. I took a break to go and get things straightened out at The Cave and to freshen up a bit before work. Now, I am sitting at The Soccer Park. It’s almost as quiet as The Grove. It just happened to be closer and more convenient.

So, anyway, I was saying – in regards to the metal – The Universe shifted and blessed me. It has a way of doing that for all of us. I think, for me, what is important to know is that it was fairly effortless. All I had to do was show up. From there a little effort to move the metal around and load/unload it from the truck. Other than that, the most I put myself out was to drive it to the yard. All in all I spent 3 hours or less with that metal – and not at the same time. So, I made about $30/hr and I had it in by 0830 yesterday morning. One of the things that fascinates me is that in that breakdown of time and finances I managed to make about ¾ of my daily wages at The Job [for a 10 hour shift.]

I am feeling the need to rest my head. It happens about this time every day anymore. Especially when I am closing. I have to say it is very hard to be motivated to go to work right now, but I know I must.

Speaking of work – before I stop writing, I need to make mention of some things. Yesterday, I learned that I won’t be able to return to The Seasonal Store as a Store Manager. The way it has fallen together, that store starts next week. The first 2 days I am house-sitting and already have plans to have The Princesses. I could forego that, considering we have the trip the following week. But, that’s just it. We have the trip the following week and that is three days I couldn’t be at the set-up. That negates me from being the Store Manager. [And, I’m not giving up this trip.]

There may be the possibility of returning as an assistant, I don’t know yet. But, that would end up having me work 7 days a week and the money, though better than what I am making now, would be significantly less than Plan A and Plan A had me with at least 1 day off each week.

It's frustrating really and I am trying so hard not to give into it all. There are still too many things on the table to get too attached to anything.

Totems as of yesterday – Dragonfly, Butterfly, Owl, Opossum.

0841

So, here I am at The Grove. It is my first official full day being out of The Dormitory. I am in no way, shape, or form upset about being out. It was long past time and I knew this. It never was my plan to stay this long. It has been a strange start to the day. But, first, let’s backtrack a bit.

Tuesday afternoon a major storm hit The Valley. I slept through it. Or, whatever it was I was doing. I had just become so overwhelmed with the need to lay down and shut down. I went deep into dreamtime. Knowing now the severity of the storm, this does not surprise me at all. The weather carries all kinds of little beasties. Nonetheless, I did have dreamtime. I do not remember most of it, only one part.

I don’t know where I was, but I saw a black van come around a corner. It was now headed away from me. All I can remember about it is that it was black, I think it had two windows on the back doors…and, across the back, in big reddish letters was the word, “Gamechanger.”

That’s all I got and all I can do is take it as some sort of a message. Who knows what though.

I worked Tuesday night and Wednesday morning I was up early and on my way to do the day. My first task was to pick up the truck at Old Geistopia and take metal to the scrap yard. It wasn’t a huge load but there was quite a bit of copper and brass piping. All-in-all, I made $92 [and some change.] This is definitely more than I was expecting.

This is an example of how things just work out. The only reason I had that metal was because I happened to be at Old Geistopia the day the crew was ripping it out. The only reason I was there that day was because I had worked on that Tuesday and this was my day to do all of my stuff – laundry, shopping, Cave, etc. The Universe shifted and blessed me.

Tuesday, August 4, 2020; 0826

Almost exactly 24 hours later and I am in the exact same ‘space.’

I closed last night and got out of work at 0100. My original plan was to go directly to Old Geistopia and unload the MattMobile. I was way to beat. I don’t know what was wrong with me yesterday. I just got so irritable at work. Granted I was in a different store and feeling disoriented, but I still got overly irritable. Maybe it was the moon. Nonetheless, I didn’t make the run and, so, this morning I unloaded the car in the rain. [And, soon I will have to load it in the rain.]

I had a rough night at work. It wasn’t just that we were short handed and busy, but things just went wrong for me at the end of the night. Hopefully, tonight will be better.

I still have some things to pack up and tweak here at The Dormitory and I have until tomorrow morning to do it. When I get up in the morning I need to take a shower [because it will be my last until Friday night.] Then I need to go do some scrapping and then to The Dormitory to get whatever remains. There is a metal shelf unit I would like to take with me. It is big and it will be difficult to move on my own. Honestly, I’m not 100% certain that I can make it fit in The Cave. But, if I can at least get it in, I will have Wednesday, Thursday morning and Friday to try to move things around and make it fit.

I extended out hotel stay to include one more night. I was very hesitant, but that was what I felt right from the beginning and the more I talk to Cuddlebug, the more I think it is necessary. Money will be tight, but we need the escape. I need the escape.

As nervous as I am, and as much as Mama is going is have a fit when she finally finds out, I’m certain it is meant to be. It was the original vision, but I was trying to be practical and realistic. [I don’t know why I ever indulge in such folly.]

Monday, August 3, 2020; 1044

There is always so much to write and even more to do. So, I find myself struggling and teetering. The stuff is almost completely loaded, excepting what goes tomorrow. I would like to get a lil more rest before I go to work. [If I even go. I will, but there is a definite part of me that just doesn’t care right this moment.]

I got a text from Cuddlebug last night while I was at work. It started with, “I hate it here.”

Apparently, Mama was on another of her Christian tirades. She was yelling at Cuddlebug [in front of her friend who was spending the night] and apparently ‘blaming’ me for the girls’ spiritual beliefs and their lack of interest in most of Christianity. I’m sure I influenced that some, but the choice is always theirs. They both still believe in G-d and that’s all I really care about. She also yelled at Sunshine, who had jumped in and tried to defend me as well. The woman did eventually [kind of] apologize. But, still, these are things that break my heart and crush my soul. These are the things I cry about.

It looks like things are not going to work out for The Seasonal Store. Even if I left The Job to commit myself to it, I wouldn’t be able to be a store manager because of the trip with the girls. I could continue on as an assistant and just reverse what I was doing. The money wouldn’t be nearly as good and the hours would be just as much. Plus, I wouldn’t be able to manage a day off. It would be 4 10 hour days at the job and 3 8 hour days for The Seasonal store.

Once again, I try to work and plan to build better and more and things just don’t work out.

0829

It has been a morning already. I have managed one more load down to The Cave. I am soon ready to begin sorting through the rest. There really isn’t a lot left. I have to sort through some things and figure out how I am packing some stuff up, but for the most part, I am down to just the stuff going into the car or that leaves in the truck on Wednesday.

The morning drive to Old Geistopia was not without Zenitation. There were deer along the way – in particularly a buck. [Do 2 bucks ever travel together?] There was also squirrel and cardinal.

There have been thoughts of Big ‘D’ since last night. Where we are at is ridiculous. I just don’t know how to make it something else and maybe it never can be really. [And that is sad.]

There were thoughts of Hoagie. How things are going down is unfortunate, but also necessary. I figure it one of two ways. First -maybe he really has attained some sort of pinnacle or plateau. Maybe he really is better off than when he came to me and has lifted himself onto a better, healthier path. In this case, my job here is done. That is all I set out to do, all I ever intended. So, good for him, and I hope that is the case.

Or, he has continued on the same path. He has numbed and distracted himself beyond the point of even wanting to heal. This is my overall Observation. He came to me for help and healing and guidance. It was a two year [plus] task. More often than not, when it came time for him to focus on himself and do some work, he would not. He wants different, but does not want to change. [I can find these reflections in myself and am now letting them do their thing.] In this case, there is nothing more I can do for him…and my job here is done.

Also, there was the matter of stuff. There is a large shelving unit and a small refrigerator. I brought both of these things in to help him out and lift him up until he could do better for himself. I had planned on taking them both with me. When he told me I needed to leave I told him that I was taking everything out that I brought in. “I don’t care what you brought in,” he said.

I’m not sure I can move the shelf on my own and I don’t really have a space for it, though I could make one. So, that may or may not go. But, the refrigerator would leave him in very bad shape. He would lose all of that food [but then, I am losing quite a bit here too.] He also would have a hard time getting another one. If I am not mistaken, his license suspension begins today. So, though I think the struggle and suffering would be well suited for him, it would certainly hurt him quite a bit. I’m not sure I can let my ego do that. [May all that you do, be done in Love.] Nonetheless, he will have to move the fridge because I am taking the cabinet it is sitting on.

We will see what the next two days brings on all of that.

I thought on The Job and The Seasonal Store. I still do not know how all of this is going to play out, but I need to work it the best I can. My plan is to stick to the plan until it changes. It is hard to be motivated to go to The Job, all things considered, but it is a new week and I have 3 days in a different store. So, let us also see what this brings.

Finally – Ask & It Is Given, Seek and Ye Shall Find, Knock & The Door Will Be Opened.

I do not know exactly under which this falls. I didn’t ask…I commented. I did not seek. I merely went about my business. This leaves the door. Perhaps the commenting also served as a knock.

I had a text conversation with Cuddlebug this morning. She mentioned that she is very excited about our trip. She thinks we all could use it…all of it, in its entirety. I was glad to hear this and it lifted my spirits quite a bit. It also confirmed for me that this is definitely a Quest all about them. There was another part to it all [two actually,] but we will save those for later.

It is now a little after 0900 and I have to leave for work by 1430. So, I guess I will set about my day and see what I can get packed up and ready now.

[Then we will see how work goes.]

If you’re not already there go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page - WTML, or the YouTube Channel - Welcome to my Life.

Wherever you are, and whenever you are, Like, Comment and Share. Let us know you’re there.

So, without hesitation…

For now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaand Johnny…

And, those guys, saying, stay ‘Tuned In,’ Fellow Travelers, and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: ...and freakishness, baby!!

The Totems

**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**

Deer – Gentleness and Innocence – Gentle Luring to New Adventures

They have been able to adapt to every sort of habitat. Buddha is often pictured with a deer. Antlers are symbols of antennae, connections to higher forms of attunement. Look for new perceptions and degrees of perceptions to expand for as much as the next five years. Can indicate that there will be opportunities to stimulate gentle new growth increasingly over the next few years. Leads us back to the primal wisdom. A deer’s senses are very acute. Find increasing ability to detect subtle movements and appearances. Begin to hear what may not be said directly. Time to be gentle with yourself and others. A new innocence and freshness is about to be awakened or born. There is going to be a gentle, enticing lure of new adventures. Are you trying to force things? Are others? Are you being too critical and uncaring of yourself? An opportunity to express gentle love that will open new doors to adventure for you.

Dragonfly – The Power of Light

Inhabit two realms – water and air. The significance of these should be studied. There must be expressions of the emotional and the mental together. You may need some fresh air in regards to something emotional. You may need to gain new perspective or make a change. May even indicate that you are neglecting your emotions. Are you being too rational about everything? Are you not keeping the colors of emotion alive?

Butterfly – Transmutation and The Dance of Joy

The process of metamorphosis should be studied closely. Make note of the most important issues confronting you at the moment. What stage of change are at in regards to them? You may have to examine and determine what you wish the outcome to be, and how best to accomplish it. Was a symbol of the soul. Was a symbol of conjugal bliss and joy. A symbol of change, joy, and color. There has long been an association in folklore between those of the Faerie Realm and butterflies. They remind us not to take things so seriously within our lives. They awaken a sense of lightness and joy. They remind us that life is a dance, and dance, though powerful, is also a great pleasure. Can be reminders to get up and move for if you can move you can dance. Look at how much or how little joy is within your life. Lighten up. Look for change. Don’t forget that all change is good. Reminds us to make changes when the opportunities present themselves. Transformation is inevitable. Growth and change does not have to be traumatic. It can occur as gently, as sweetly, and as joyfully as we wish.

Owl - The Mystery of Magic, Omens, Silent Wisdom, and Vision in the Night

Symbol of the feminine and the night. Ties to fertility and seduction. Bird of magic and darkness, of prophecy and wisdom. Symbolically associated with clairvoyance, astral projection and magic, both black and white. Hints of the light of the sun, alive in the dar of night. Meditation on this alone will reveal much about the magic of Owl within your life. Will be able to see and hear what others are trying to hide. What is not being said. See what is hidden or in the shadows. Detect and pinpoint the subtleties. Unique ability to see into the darkness of others’ souls. And life. Their medicine can extract secrets. If your neck is stiff and inflexible, you are hindering your perceptions to a great degree. Often reflects that you were born very perceptive - with a vision of others that you may or may not have recognized or acknowledged. Unique ability for seeing into the eyes and souls of others. Keep silent and go about your business. Eliminate those aspects that are up beneficial and unhealthy.

Opossum - The Use of Appearances

Sometimes it is necessary to ‘play dead.’ Sometimes it is necessary to put up a particular front to succeed most easily and effectively. This is the medicine Opossum teaches. It can also show you when others are putting up false fronts and deceptions. Helps us to use appearances to our greatest greatest benefit and help us to recognize when others are using false impressions. Help us to learn to divert attention or to get attention any way we need. Sometimes it is necessary to behave in a strategic manner. Opossum is the supreme actor. Help us draw from our own bag of tricks that which will most benefit us. Are you acting or about to act in an inappropriate manner? Do you need to strengthen your own appearance? Are others putting up false appearances in front of you? Do you need to divert attention away from some activity? Are others trying to divert your attention? Is it time to go into your bag of tricks and pull out some new strategy? Learning to pretend and act in ways and with realism is the magic that opossum teaches.

Cardinal - Renewed Vitality through Recognizing Self-Importance

They remind us that, regardless of the time of day or year, we always have the opportunity to renew our own vitality and recognize our own life roles. Whistles are often reminders to listen closely - to pay attention to what is blowing on the winds. Reflects that we should be listening to the inner voice (the feminine) more closely for our own health and well-being. Almost always reflects a need to assert the feminine aspects of creativity and intuition more strongly. Can reflect a need to b more careful about your diet, that what you are eating may be injurious to yourself and affecting your overall vitality. Reflects the rhythm of 12 that is going to become more predominant within your own life. Reflects lessons associated with responsibility and the recognition of the task at hand. May reflect past-life connections with the church, or even a reviving of more traditional religious beliefs, regardless of denomination. Remind us to add color to our lives, and remember that everything is of importance.

Blue Jay - Proper Use of Power

It can reflect lessons in using your own power properly. It can also reflect lessons in not allowing yourself to be placed in a position in which power is misused against you. It has the ability to link the heavens and the earth, to access each for greater power. This is a totem that can move between both and tap the primal energies at either level. Higher knowledge that can be used. The main problem will be dabbling in both worlds, rather than becoming a true master of both. Usually have a tremendous amount of ability, but it can be scattered or it is often not developed any more than is necessary to get by. Not unusual to find individuals with the Jay totem being dabblers - especially in the psychic and metaphysical fields. They know a little bit about a lot of things and they use that knowledge sometimes to give the impression that they know more. Wear the crown of true master ship requires dedication, responsibility, and committed development in all things in the physical and spiritual. A reminder to follow through on all things - to not start something and then leave it dangling. A time of greater resourcefulness and adaptability is about to unfold. Going to have ample opportunities to develop and use your abilities. Look for ample time to develop and use your energies to access new levels. Actually a member of the crow family, most crows have no fear. It is because of this the Jay can help you connect to the deepest mysteries of the earth and the greatest of the heavens. This sense of seeking pleasure - often at the expense of others - can reflect an imbalance. Sometimes jay shows up when this is happening in your own life. A tremendous ability for survival with the least amount of effort. They reflect great talent, but that talent must be developed and utilized properly. It indicates that you are moving into a time where you can develop your innate royalty that is within you, or simply be a pretender to the throne. It all depends on you.

The Phoenix -

When the Phoenix comes into your life, make no doubts about the powerful message it brings. It comes with a strong message of hope. The Phoenix comes to reassure you that you will rise from the ashes. And, not just that! This spirit animal comes to guide you out of despair, to offer you a second chance. As such, this bird is most likely to appear to you when you are down and out. At such times, only a miracle can save you. The phoenix spirit animal is that miracle! It renews your strength and fortifies your fighting spirit. Quite suddenly, you’ll start seeing opportunities in places that look hopeless. No matter the kind of challenges life is subjecting you to, the Phoenix encourages you to endure. And to fight for your lost glory! If you are on a trying spiritual journey, this is a powerful message. The phoenix spirit guide makes its way into your life to guide, coach and protect you. The spiritual journey is often perilous. Unfortunately, you may be unable to change this without some powerful intervention. When you welcome the presence of the Phoenix totem into your life, you get the guidance you need on this journey. But, remember, the Phoenix is one of the most powerful totems out there. You need to invite it gently. Invite this spirit with clear and honest intentions.

Dog – Faithfulness and Protection

Different dogs will mean different things. Examine the qualities of your breed and the individual dog. It takes a lot to break a dog’s spirit. It’s ability to love, even when abused, is tremendous. It’s spirit and willingness to love and to be a companion is great. What is this saying about your need for or lack of companionship? Are you being faithful? Are others around you? Are you showing unconditional love, or receiving it? Do you need to be more protective of your territory? Do you need to play a little more? Does your spirit need bolstering? How about those around you? Examine your territories. Dog knows its own home ground.

**The following Totems came to me as ‘The Big 5.’**

Elephant – Ancient Power, Strength and Royalty

Royalty and fertility. The Hindu god of wisdom and success, Ganesha. Symbol of great sexual power. Neptune, prophecy, fertility and even family. Higher forms of discrimination. Open to energies and worlds otherwise unaccessible. Ivory from a spiritual and metaphysical aspect should be studied. The Maiden, Mother, and Crone. The opportunity to reestablish powerful family and societal ideals will occur. Prepare to draw upon the most ancient wisdom and power. Opportunity to help yourself or others regain your most primordial royalty.

Rhinoceros – Ancient Wisdom

An energy of comfort in one’s own solitude. Know Thyself! Greater sensitivity to olfactory senses. Symbol of energy of higher discrimination, spiritual idealism, and application of higher wisdom. Examine your own innate sense of discrimination. Are you not trusting your own inner wisdom – what you know to work and be best? Are you distrusting or discounting the foundation of your own learning? Are you forgetting that ultimately, no one knows better for you than you? Are you only looking at appearances and refusing to see beyond the surface? The rhino will help you see the wisdom of your own life. It has a solidity that will help you to put life into proper perspective. The ancient side of the rhino will help you to draw upon your own innate wisdom and find application to the present time.

Lion - Assertation of the Feminine and the Power of the Female Sun

Fixed element of Sulphur. Parents are patient and affectionate. Will find those same qualities within. Expect lessons dealing with community and groups to surface. Examine your own role within groups. Do you need to do more than you are? Do you need to be more protective Do you need to cooperate more? Avoids confrontations. Leave the scene of danger if possible. Be stealthy for the greatest success. There will be opportunity to awaken to a new sun. Trust your feminine energies - creativity, intuition, and imagination. Don’t be afraid to roar if you feel threatened or intruded upon.

Musk Ox – (www.auntyflo.com/magic/musk-ox)

Musk ox shows as a spirit guide when

• Someone is in need of our support.

• We are seeking for someone’s attention.

• We have to endure a certain trial.

• We are searching for the right path.

• We need guidance.

Cheetah – (dreamastromeanings.com/cheetah-spirit-animal-totem-symbolism-and-meanin)

The cheetah as your spirit animal is asking fast thinking and reactions. You are probably a person who quickly makes decisions and acts. As a totem animal the cheetah is helping us determine our goals and remain focused enough to accomplish them. It is also teaching us the gift of adaptability and flexibility and reacting in the right moment. This totem animal is asking you to not to waste energy but focus on the goals you can easily achieve. Take one step at a time. Make sure you plan your actions first and don’t act hastily. If you have the cheetah as your spirit animal, you are most likely very compassionate towards others. You seem to feel when other people suffer, and you feel their pain. You are a truthful and honest personality, but you have a gift of telling things in a pleasant manner. You seize opportunities fast. You don’t have many friends because your trust is hard to gain. You tend to isolate from others.