Allow Me to Re-Introduce Myself

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true! 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is a Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

 Looch

BJ & The Bull

Ace

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Wilson

Zason

St. Diane & You (5)

Brother John & Sister Jen

The Bee Man

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Mayor & The Turkey Man

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sinday, June 9, Two-Thousand and Twenty-More. Time...Blurred

Theme – I Am That I Am

I think this is one of the greatest lines – and lessons from G-d – in The Bible. Of course, I seem to read it differently than most.

“Who should I tell them sent me?”

“I Am That I Am.”

Everyone talks about this being G-d giving his name [or hiding his name.] I think it is a greater statement than that. G-d is everything and nothing at once. G-d is all the opposites rolled into one. G-d is justice but also wrath. How does one explain that to, sum that up, for a person?

I Am That I Am.

I just am. It matters not what, nor who I am. I just am. Anything beyond, “I am,” is simply a label and…Labels are Limitations. Every time we try to define G-d we limit his power and presence.

I think it is a Lesson because I think it is how each of us should respond. It has become how I respond. “Tell me about yourself.”

I Am That I Am.

If I define myself any further it will project images, set expectations. A simple word will forge attachments. Attachments inevitably lead to disappointment.

[More on this and me later.]

Lesson – There’s No Such Thing as Lack

You Always Have What You Need.

It cam first in a dialogue with Cuddlebug. We were talking about stuff with The Homestead. I commented that it’s a shame she’s not on FB because I could use her help looking through groups for stuff. I said, “I just don’t have the time.” Her retort was, “Don’t have time? You do nothing but get in debates on FB. Maybe look through groups instead.” She wasn’t wrong.

The other time this came up was in one of those debates. The discussion started with the idea that science can’t make true advancements because of a lack of money. I think this is nonsense. There is more than enough money in the world. We’re just choosing to not put it towards science. So it is not a lack of money but a lack of discernment in assigning funds. The man continued with how he was part of some department in some high school and his department didn’t have enough funds to cover the year. They showed a deficit. Plenty of money went to football. Well, again, that’s discernment. Money was there. He continued with saying thy couldn’t show “judgement on spending funds” on a budget report. No. But he could gather the proper information and make a presentation to the school board in and effort to reallocate funds in the future. The problem was not lack of money.

I took this and looked at my life. The truth is, you always have what ou need. So if you are feeling lack then you are missing something. That is how I am approaching this. If I feel a lack of time then I need to look at how I am managing my time. [Which honestly hasn’t been great the last week or so.] If I am feeling a lack of money (or resources) I just have to look at how I’m using them. I mean, granted, it’s super tight and most of my  money goes to obligations and survival.

Observation – Even Those Who Make Great Arguments Can Say the Dumbest Things

I’m not sure how to explain this one. It is not meant as harshly as it may come across. And, be certain, I do include myself in this Observation.

The Post

I’d say it was an intense week…but then when isn’t it? And, like every other week, despite all the twists & turns and bumps & bruises – I survived. It’s the dichotomy of living, I suppose. Things don’t always go the way you want. [If ever.] Yet, instead of focusing on that reality you must find the blessings and focus on those.

I came in short for the week. Yet, despite that, I was able to pay rent tonight instead of tomorrow morning. [That’s a blessing.] And, without cashing out, I will be able to get gas whenever I need it tomorrow. [Also a blessing.]

I feel both worn out and charged up.

I don’t want to spend too much time talking about the week at the moment. [There’s plenty of that later.] There was a particular purpose to this post. I want to get to that. So, I want to go back up and finish off The Trinity, take care of a few small tasks [including maybe some dinner,] and then make that my focus.

[Maybe I’ll actually get this Sunday’s post up before next Sunday.]

So, let’s get down to the nitty gritty. Allow me to re-introduce myself.

Who am I?

2-4-6-0-1.

No, no. Who am I?

I Am that I Am.

I don’t really know how to say more than that. I am an enigma even to myself. I have spent the better part of half my life trying to understand and define myself. After all that time and all the words that have drifted through my mind, the best I can come up with is – I Am That I Am.

I say this because as soon as I tell you anything about myself the opposite is automatically true as well. For instance, I could tell you I am a good and sincere person. Yet, I can look back through my life and find many moments about which I think, “Who the hell was that guy and why did he think any of that was OK?”

I could tell you that I am a caring person – sincere, even heartfelt. [???] Yet, many times, I can certainly come across as callous, heartless, perhaps even cruel.

I always used to say that I thought I was an impatient person until I had children. Then I learned just how much patience I have. Yet, if you were to spend a workday with me, driving about here and there, you would certainly question that. Oft times, road rage and I are one in the same.

I have worn many hats in my life time. I’ve done light yard work and landscaping, fast food, retail, retail merchandising, mystery shopping, stage crew, dishwashing, food prep, receiving, warehouse, seal coating, painting, general labor, fiberoptics testing and equipment prep. I have been entry level employee and I have been management.

I have been a director and actor and producer. I’ve been a writer. I’ve been a videographer. I’ve been a craftsman.

I have certificates of ministry and Reiki. I even have a certificate that reads Doctor of Metaphysics. [Go figure.]

Nothing has really ever taken hold. I’ve tried and failed and tried again. [And failed again.] Yet, as long as there are those moments to talk about, even the failures are a success to some degree.

I once produced a large stage production of Annie. Made a whole big thing out of it. I tried to use it to not only to jumpstart my own production company but to highlight arts groups from downtown. The production ruined me. I ended up with no job, no money, no car. You could say I lost my shirt. Still, the production happened. There was a show. It happened. And, for some time after I would have people approach me. I remember one told me her daughter loved doing the show and couldn’t wait for us to do another. A gentleman told me that his son enjoyed the show so much that they were going to check out some of the other companies that we had spotlighted.

That there. That last one. That was what I wanted. So, if one person was inspired to do so then more were as well. I guess you could say it was a success.

That is my life. Success and failure intertwined. Duality ever existent.

So…Who am I?

I Am That I Am.

I’ve been all of those things, and though I am none of them now, I could tap into them anytime opportunity arises. But, they will never define me. Likewise, I could tell you that these days I am a delivery driver. But that is not who I am. It is just how I make money.

I am a spiritual person, and religious in my own way. Still, I am a sinner. I sin every day.

I enjoy all religious and spiritual beliefs but I do not limit myself to any label. I also do not agree with every part of every doctrine.

I also believe in science.

I have been mature and wise beyond my years and yet I am still so childish. I once thought of myself as Merth from Mork & Mindy. Like…I grew backwards. When I was a child and a teen I was always “older.” I gravitated more towards the adults and their conversations. I handled myself like an adult often. For instance, I would go around the neighborhood and visit the older people we knew just to check on them and say Hi. Today I am fairly reckless and carefree.

I’m intelligent. At 14 they told me I had an above average IQ. I’m also one of the dumbest motherfuckers you’ll ever meet.

I could go on and on and on. I had so many things to say and ways to say them. I’ve been putting this post together in my head for weeks. I wanted it to be insightful…poetic.

I guess it is what it is.

I am that I am and that is all you need to know for now. I have planted the seeds and you will see the truth of it all before it is over. Just remember to expect anything and be surprised by nothing.

            Day 8

Just trying to keep up in time. [I don’t really do that so good.]

I’ve been having a hard time getting into the writing tonight. Part of it is mood. Most of it is distraction.

Today did not go as I needed it to go financially. I’m still behind and I have a small window of opportunity to at least keep a float for the day tomorrow. I need to make some money in the morning and get it in the account so the Mechanic’s check doesn’t bounce. Fortunately, I don’t need to have it all for that to happen. I have to have Just Enough that the bank will accept it to pending. I can make the rest before the day ends.

This has me askew, but this is also nothing new.

As I said to Cuddlebug, all I can do is play it through and adjust along the way

Speaking of which, it’s time for my first adjustment. I need to unpack my day and get situated for a potential early start in the morning.

            Day 9

Another day passed. Another day not quite what I wanted or “needed,” but it was survivable and workable.

            Day 10

            Day 13

[I left Day 10 blank because that’s just how it goes some days…most days.]

Once again I am sitting here trying to get in the ‘writing groove.’ Once again there are 1,000 things whirling in my mind, including an ever growing list of things to do. Once again, I am allowing myself to get distracted every 7 minutes.

deep sigh

It has been a whirlwind week. I have some busy and stronger days. And, I have had days where I sat for four hours and made only $20. Once again, I came into the week hopeful despite all odds and once again I am coming up way shorter than I would have anticipated.

Once again, I will shrug it off, make adjustments, and carry on the best that I can.

We got a cat this week. That was an adventure. He was at another home – part of a litter I think. Anyway, they let him loose in the house and he hid in a cabinet. Piz-Niffer had to come over today to help me get him out of there and to Cuddlebug’s bedroom – Where he immediately took to hiding again and hasn’t come out since.

Beyond that I just keep pecking away at my life – bit by bit.

I keep saying, “I’ll keep going till I beat it, or it breaks me.”

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC:  Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak

Wren

Cardinal

Groundhog

Cat

Spider

Bee