Blah, Blah, Blah

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Yeah, it’s true.

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co.

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Warden

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Hoagie Snowflake

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

The Looch

The Bassett Hound

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason

Oh, Danny Boy

St. Diane & You

Brother John

Thing 1 & Thing 2

The Nameless One

Good Man, Charlie Brown

‘Jim’

The Rox

CCPA

Senoll #5

Superstar

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wsiconsin Belle

The Witch Baby

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Monday, July 6, 2020. Time...In Absentia

Feedback

Wisconsin mentioned that she liked the photos in the last post. I agree it added a certain layer to things. I do not know that I will have photos to add to every post, but I will see what I can come up with along the way.

And, Looch, I still have that video to finish with your Feedback. I just haven’t had a moment to focus on it.

The Post

**DIRECTOR’S NOTE: I am having a lot of trouble writing. I can’t quite get the right kind of focus going. There is a lot going on in The World for me right now – on all planes. My thinking is scattered and static.**

It was a rough week.

And, I don’t know why.

I am tired and worn.

And, I don’t know why.

I feel fried.

And…I don’t know why.

Of course, there are many factors that could be considered. Such as the fact that there are currently 5 planets in Retrograde. [3 of them Ancient Planets.] We are on the ending cusp of a Full Moon. And, there was Midsummer not too long ago. Then, of course, there was the message, “No changes until July.”

And, so…here we are.

Honestly, I cannot even remember a week ago. I know I worked on a post. The day was very similar to this one. I pecked away at the pages in little pieces. I just couldn’t seem to sit and focus. I couldn’t really seem to focus on anything.

WALT: I thought you couldn’t remember.

I can’t remember specifics, but I remember the feeling. It was the same feeling that I am having today. I am pecking at the pages and piddling at the projects. I want to do both and can’t seem to really accomplish either. I don’t seem to have the spirit or mind I need, and my body feels almost like a puddle.

This has been happening more and more recently. It just takes me so long to recover from my work week. It takes almost a full day. I don’t like that. I don’t like it at all. My job is taxing and it wears me out. It is demanding on all levels. Now, our store is fairly busy during the week. Once lunch starts, it is fairly non-stop until the end of dinner. That is a lot of business.

So, I spend 10 hours on the go. There really isn’t a break of any kind. Not that it would apply to me anyway as management, but this company doesn’t give breaks to employees over the age of 18. I really disagree with this, but, from what I am told, the law doesn’t require this. So, it is what it is. The job itself is actually pretty physically demanding. One may not think it, but it is. Not only am I on my feet all day but it is a constant go. It is a work out. I make constant, steady muscle movements all day long.

But then there is also a heavy mental side to things. There are so many things of which to be aware. It’s not just looking at the screen and throwing food in the bag. You have to be aware of times, which also means being aware of how long it takes to cook something and how much of that something you have and need. It’s being aware of how long things can be held before they must be discarded. It’s keeping up with cleaning and tasks. It’s making sure tht minors get their breaks. And, a lot of these things are Health, Labor, Safety related and can turn into a big deal [even legally] if not followed properly. Then there are the less critical, but still important, details such as making sure everyone is doing things the way they are supposed to be done. Sandwiches made right, wrapped, right, marked right, and bagged right. It’s making sure all the right things are said…or not said.

None of it is as simple as following the screen. It is not a one order at a time sort of thing. At times, you are working six orders at once – some at DT, some up front.

Then there is a kind of spiritual drain. It pulls on the mental as well, but ultimately it is a spiritual thing. It is taking care of the customers and employees, as well as other managers. The goal is to keep everyone/everything balanced and focused. It’s about keeping everyone happy. [Or, at least helping them believe that they are.]

It wears on me. It all wears on me. I do not like feeling like this. It is so far from how I should be feeling. I am heavy and worn. A whole day, spent away, just to get back on track.

It’s not all just work. There are other factors. Like I said, a lot going on in the sky recently. Plus, there are things at The Dormitory. It is definitely time for me to move on, but I am still not equipped to do so. It will take me a little bit more time. [More than I care to think about.]

It's not so much that there is tension [there is some,] but the conditions just aren’t right for health and harmony at the moment. Hoagie has been home from work for months. The living conditions were perfect when we were both working and coming and going. Each of us had plenty of solitude at times. He still gets that, but I do not. Add in to the mix the sometimes, unexpected and extended stays from Spike and it can get very difficult to find some peace.

Truth is, it has become Old Geistopia all over again. I have taken to hanging out in the basement side of the apartment. It has a little fridge for stuff, and my tools and supplies and such. It is, essentially, The Cave. I get up in the morning and go out there until I go to bed or go to work. Except for the occasional pass through the apartment for something. I do it to stay out of his way and give him personal space but also to give myself a chance to do things in my own groove. I truly am a solitary person. I like quiet…and stillness.

But, just as Old Geistopia, my lack of presence in the apartment has led to a stagnation in the energy. Hoagie does not really have a flow to him. He watches TV, plays video games and naps. He doesn’t really keep up with anything. Trash will sit, dishes will sit, and the apartment hasn’t been cleaned since he has been home. Even when I want to be in there, I find I can’t be. Just as with Old Geistopia, when I stopped cleaning and tending, cleaning and tending stopped.

The more frustrating part to this is that he was tasked with it for his own well being. It actually had less to do with cleanliness and his peace/state of mind. We were doing healing work on him and it was meant to help him zenitate, calm his spirt and clear his mind. I have come to a point where I fear there is really nothing he will actually engage in to do so. He seems to not want to heal as much as he just wants to numb and pretend nothing is wrong. I worry about him, but I have also learned from my past that you cannot help everyone. Even if they claim to want it. So, I just give him his space to forge whatever path he chooses at this point.

Meanwhile, I continue to try to forge my own.

This is where the plot thickens, I suppose.

When I got The Job, I knew I didn’t want to get caught staying there. Perhaps, I was even a little too desperate to move things along. Nonetheless, the plan was to use the job to get myself grounded and balanced – not just financially, but across the board. I figured it was a good chance to get a lil organized and prepared to do the work that I really enjoy. I figured I could slowly craft things. Keep a steady pace, without feeling like I just had to get some things done for money. I decided I could start to get back into some retail merchandising without needing to drive too far just to make it work.

Nothing has been as simple as I had anticipated and so much has shifted along the way.

When this all started, I figured I would be out of The Dormitory by the end of April and I was making plans befitting of moving back into the car. I was just trying to organize and condense what I already had with me after the self-eviction. But, then, I thought that while I was here I should take advantage of the opportunity to do what I can. So, metal scrapping started rolling in. I acquired a few resale pieces. A couple of crafts got completed. A lot of this is still milling around. I just haven’t had the time or focus to do posts. But, the stuff is here and one day I will.

Then, came The -Vid and messed everything up. There was no way to leave The Dormitory at the end of April because there was no place I could go with my car. Even now, things are too restricted to get away with random overnight parking. With the restrictions in place, I could no longer spend my alone time in the park each week. However, I could get into The Cave to start getting it cleaned up. For weeks, this is what I have done. I have traveled back and forth. Things come and things go. I realized that I could use this opportunity to get even more sorted out and organized. Ultimately, the plan became getting everything cleaned out, boxed up and ready for a move. [Whatever that may mean.]

I’ve made progress. It has been impeded by unavoidable obstacles, such as having limited access to The Cave. Or, that things really have been scattered and getting them together and organized has turned out to be quite the task. There was a lot more stuff than I realized and so much of it was just strewn here and there. I still have some random things to box up, but for the most part, all of the cabinets are empty and stuff is packed.

Week by week, little by little, I would go to The Cave and sort through things there. Some things would make their way back to The Dormitory to get sorted. Some of that would go back to The Cave. And, this is the way it would go – back and forth. Figuring that I have a usable storage space at the moment, I have started taking things over there that I need to get to from time to time, but do not need regularly – such as my Reiki table.

Likewise, things have been coming from The Cave – such as all of my miscellaneous hand tools and such that were floating around. This past week, I tasked myself with getting them all organized. I have sorted through and packed them up. If you know me, you know I love my bags and I was able to create quite a few. I have my personal toolbox. This is the one I work from regularly and has all of my favorite tools and needs packed within. Then I made a complete one for The MattMobile. It is set up mostly the same as my personal one, minus the cordless drill and add things more appropriate for the car such as wrenches and jumper cables. I also put together a separate box. This is a worktable box, so it is portable but also durable. In there I put all the little miscellaneous pieces I may find myself in need of while piddling in the shop, or randomly on a project elsewhere. I still have a plethora of miscellany to sort and I might put one more bag together for good measure.

It seems such a trifle of a thing, but it makes me feel good. There is a sense of completion about it for me. Especially, the stuff for the car. [I also got a small first-aid kit for the car.] Not only have I wanted to get all of this stuff sorted for a long time, but I have been wanting to get the car ‘loaded’ for as long as I can remember. It all started with the Quests. I just have this insatiable desire to be prepared. For as much time as I have spent in my vehicle over the years, I felt it was good to keep supplies on hand. The contents of my vehicle have shifted many times over the years, but I always had the same goal in mind – to be road ready and prepared for as much as possible. Of course, everything needs to be as compact as possible.

The task is now just about complete [and this becomes an interesting side note later on.]or the most part, I am packed up and ready to move whenever the shifts happen. [And, I think when they happen it will be hard and fast.]

Other things have made their way into the system once more, like my printer. It has been down and offline for well over a year. This opens doorways to the possibility of other work.

Little by Little, Bit by Bit it seems things are settling and establishing. Even financially I have made vast improvement. Things are a little tighter than they have been for a while now that the extra funds have depleted. But, the extra spending has slowed down as well. So, things should balance out soon enough. I have resumed my 10% savings plan. There are funds in both bank accounts, limited as they may be. And, I usually have some amount of cash floating around – ranging from a few dollars to over a hundred. Along the way, I have managed to set parts of my life right – whether it was repaying some debt, or committing to a new monthly bill, or just getting what I need when I need it. [Including time with the Princesses.] To top it off, I have begun another system to save and accumulate funds.

Still, I am far from completion. There are many financial and life goals before me. The money at The Job is not quite enough to accomplish the tasks. But, I knew this. It is why I have been working towards getting other things situated and ready to roll. In the past, I would stress and struggle to take on projects and get my life organized at the same time. This never worked out for me. So, I have decided it was in my best interest to just focus on making sure I can work smoothly when I do start working. There is always more money to be made. The better I can manage it when the time comes, the more of it I can make.

It's all been very hard on my patience. As much as I say The World is of a very ‘Instant Gratification Mindset,’ it is only fair to say that I see it in myself first. It’s true. I want it and I want it now. Given the choice, who wouldn’t? But, I have learned [and am learning,] that truly the beauty and splendor and treasures of life can only be found upon the long road. [Even in magickal affairs.]

I can apply this to my current path. No matter what is happens over the next few weeks [or months] it does not mean my visions are not correct. Only that they need more time to manifest.

Spiritually, I am feeling a little lost. I’m not on point the way I was two months ago. It’s all very weird. I haven’t been good with my rituals and routines and I can feel that. I don’t feel very in tune and yet I am very sensitive to things. I still catch glimpses of beings as they pass by. In fact, more so than ever before. It is not only a daily occurrence but a frequent one each day. I haven’t been getting my soaks in the way I would like either. Still, I seem to get called away to do works I may, or may not, learn of later. My head just seems so fuzzy.

That brings us to The Choice.

I came into The Job with the message that I was not looking for a career. But, as I said, getting myself to a place where I can productively work at other things has been more of a challenge than I had planned for, but, that’s ok, because I know it is just building towards more and better. Still, I haven’t yet gotten my side hustle established.

Suddenly, along comes The Seasonal Store with an opportunity to return as a store manager. The money would certainly be a step in the right direction towards my current goals – especially a place. However, it is so very temporary.

So, here I am, stuck in between a job that has long term durability but not really the financial backing, and one that is long in the money but short in time. I contemplated leaving The Job. I figured I would have several months to find a new job, and/or get other things established before the end of the season. If I live at my current level, I would actually make enough to survive on until January-ish. Of course, these kinds of risks have never worked out for me in the past. Plus, I don’t quite feel ready to leave The Job.

WALT: Well, that’s new.

Right? And, so, I think it deserves recognition. Despite any frustrations, I am not unhappy. So, I decided to talk to the GM and the DL and see if something could be worked out. They agreed to work with me if I could continue to give them 20-25 hours a week [until the time in the season when The Seasonal Store would dictate my life.]

It all seemed to be working out. I figure it’s not going to be easy, but it will catapult my finances forward quite a bit. I would actually be making about double what I have been for the past several months. So, truthfully, if I maintained my current level of living, I could actually survive until Mid-February. That is tempting, believe me. Especially when I consider that Mid-February is the only time of year that I can take my final Quest, plus it has become apparent to me that part of what I have been doing these several weeks is making The MattMobile travel ready.

But that’s not what I want from this. If I am going to do it, it needs purpose. I will be giving up so much to do this and make that money, like time with The Princesses, or the time/ability to work on my side hustles. I have so many things I should and could do with the extra inflow. For instance, I could really use new glasses. Or, maybe a vehicle. But, when this is all over, I will be back to my normal salary. Or, at least, that was the case up until this past week.

Thursday was a bad day for me. I don’t know what was wrong but something definitely was and I could feel it. Long story short – it impacted my work shift. I was having issues with one of the assistant managers who was, once again, having problems with a particular employee. It’s been a regular mess for weeks and this night I just could not take it. So, I left the shift.

I texted the GM and let him know. I was open to being written up or fired. I gave him a brief summary and we would talk about it the next day. Later that day, the DL would come by the store and before I knew it the GM was pulling me aside and asking me how I’d feel about being an assistant manager. They have it all worked out in their heads so that I would come back from my time with The Seasonal Store and be able to step into an assistant position.

We are going to have an official discussion in a few weeks. I’m not certain it is what I want to do. Truth is, I’m not certain of anything. I am just going to continue to let the cards fall where they may and play them the best that I can.

For instance, I have recently had some scheduling things come to light that may interfere with The Seasonal Store. I contacted the DM and all is settled. I figured it was either going to create a problem or it wasn’t.

It didn’t.

It’s simple.

Spirit is running the show, and, despite the illusion, it is taking me exactly where I want to go.

If you’re not already there go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page - WTML, or the YouTube Channel - Welcome to my Life.

Wherever you are, and whenever you are, Like, Comment and Share. Let us know you’re there.

So, without hesitation…

For now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaand Johnny…

And, those guys, saying, “stay tuned in Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: ...and freakishness, baby!!