D.B.O.&A.

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Yeah, it’s true. 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

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FaeriePrincess

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Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous. 

It is…Sunday,February 2, 2020. Time...Disturbed..

Theme of the Week: Precise and Perfectly Placed

There was just so much of this throughout the week. I can’t even tell you, Fellow Travelers, just how many times it was relevant. I told you about the woman from my past who ‘just so happened’ into The Job. But, that was just one example.

The other night I saw a social media post from a friend. She was having a rough time of it. It’s been a long time since we’ve really talked but I commented that she should message me. She did immediately. I mentioned Precise and Perfectly Placed to her. [But, that wasn’t the actual point of the story.]  

She moved recently. She took a chance and a gamble on her life. So far, it seems, it has had its ups and downs. From what I can tell of following her, it started strong and good, but now it has shifted a little bit and is getting heavier. This, of course, is natural. The ebb and flow of life. But, she found herself frustrated and questioning why she chose to move in the winter. I suggested to her [based on the Theme] that, perhaps, life was giving her time to go through this and make adjustments. I mean, this was going to happen no matter when she moved. It is a natural process. So, maybe, life figured better to go through it now and shake it off before the nicer weather hits and life can be lived. 

Then, I told her that her living situation was going to change. She would be getting a new roommate. I didn’t know if that meant she was moving or if someone new was moving into where she is currently. I said it would be closer to March-ish.

Her response was, “Wow how do you know that? One of my roommates is actually moving out in February...or March.” 

Precise and Perfectly Placed.

The whole of existence lined up perfectly to let that moment happen. The moment itself served two purposes. Most importantly, it gave her validation and reassurance. That’s why we were there. I ‘just so happened’ to see her post. She ‘just so happened’ to message me right away. I ‘just so happened’ to be able to chat right then. 

Maybe that should be a sub-theme. Precise and Perfectly Placed [ “...Just so Happened…” ]

It ...Just so Happens...that that is the way it goes. Always. No matter what we do really. Every decision - good or bad, every choice, every experience, every challenge, every setback, every victory, every moment happens precisely as it needs to - for the good of The All. 

Lesson of the Week: Attitude is the Best Gratitude

I know. You think I got that backwards. 

I didn’t.

The attitude with which we face life, tells life where we are at - mentally, emotionally, spiritually. A positive and loving attitude tells life that we are ok, that we understand. A positive attitude is the best way to give thanks, show gratitude, for all that life is and offers - every decision - good or bad, every choice, every experience, every challenge, every setback, every victory, every moment. 

Observation of the Week: There is a Fine Line Between Physical Be-ing and Spiritual Experience

I stopped seeing life through solely physical eyes quite some time ago. When something happens to my body, I deal with the physical first, then search for a spiritual root. It’s what I’m dealing with in regards to my back right now. There has been physical strain, yes. But, I have also been very focused and concerned about finances this past week. That is exactly the spot in my back where I am having troubles. 

The discomfort is also in my hip and knee on the left side. I can’t find the book to reference at the moment, but this is going to be a lot of bending, flexibility, movement. The left is the feminine, the creative force, Mother. 

Interesting. 

Also, it is the back side of what I like to call the Secret Chakra. This is actually known in some circles as the Sacral Chakra. Yet, in other circles The Sacral Chakra replaces The Navel Chakra. [It’s all very confusing, I know.] All you really need to know is that this, too, relates and makes sense. 

It is the same philosophy I had when I lost consciousness. That’s right. I just dropped. My community of friends panicked and said I should go to the doctor. I believed it to be something a little more spiritual - something along the lines of a spirit actually leaving my body. That is what it felt like...both time. Still, the first time around I did go to the doctor, just in case. I went through a series of tests and monitoring. In the end, it was all inconclusive. There was nothing physically showing up as a cause, nor symptom. “We’ll just call it a fluke,” said the doctor. Except...it happened again one year later. 

Wisconsin is experiencing this currently. She is having some pretty serious physical issues at the moment. The location in her body is one that is both physically and spiritually significant. However, it is also one that we really don’t understand fully. [There is more knowledge in the spiritual realm though.] She made the connection instantly. So, she has been approaching her situation from both physical and spiritual methods. 

It is an issue that played into my dialogue with Hoagie. 

But also, I had a realization not too long ago. During Yule people became concerned for my safety. I understand this. I was in bad shape. I was focused on Death. But, what no one knows is that I had smelled her on the air just prior to all of that. I’ve said many times before, Fellow Travelers, that Death has a very particular scent and it is not one you ever forget. She was coming, but for what end? What no one realizes about that moment in time is that I thought I was on my way out anyway. Hence, leading to statements such as, “too bad I don’t plan on being around long enough to find out.”

Here I sit, yet death is precisely what occurred. In spirituality, Death is often associated with great and significant change. The end of one way of being and the beginning of another. This is precisely what has happened to me. Both my life and my spirit had come to a complete halt. They died off a little for a period of time. Then they began to reforge themselves and here we are. Though my interpretation was incorrect, my understanding was spot on. It is what makes the timing of The Experiment so noteworthy. I truly am starting over from scratch one more time. Only this time around I have a roadmap...and we’re going to try to find it. 

So, here’s what’s happening this week, folks. Friday came and went in a blur. I had planned on doing a daily post later in the day after things were settled and done for the day. That was not to happen. It was such a very strange day. Heavy in presence, but mellow in attitude. Everyone was commenting on it. ‘Jim’ mentioned he was feeling that way. Even The Putter brought it up a few times during the safety meeting. 

By the time of the Safety Meeting, I was already settled into this energy. I realized, as I was driving there, that Friday was a Day Before. I hadn’t even given it a thought. I was so consumed by The Job this week, and settling my life around it, that I completely forgot we were on the cusp of Imbolc. Once I realized this I was comfortable with whatever did or did not happen the rest of the day. It was going to be what it was going to be. Just as Imbolc will be what it will be. 

I’m starting this on Saturday morning. I figure with 2 ten hour days, focusing on writing could be difficult. These Sunday posts take a lot of time. So, I do not know what the day ahead holds quite yet. I know I am supposed to work ten hours. I know that is what I am setting out, determined to do. But, I also know that is not going to be as easy as it sounds. 

I am very sore this morning. And, I mean, very sore. I have put my body through a lot this week. Not only has there been physical strain, but I have been having more intense spiritual experiences, which are taking their own toll on my vessel. 

I started the week by doing a couple of jobs to make some quick little bits of cash. On Monday, I picked up two jobs. They were the jobs that have me doing ‘squats’ for the duration of the work. They weren’t too bad individually. But, it back to back the way they were it definitely left me feeling the strain. My legs were like jelly by the end of the second one. 

On Tuesday, I decided to take another one of those jobs. I did this because it was paying a great deal more. I knew I would need that money. [In fact, it is all I have at the moment.] But, this was also a longer job. It took an hou and ten minutes, with delays. I was very sore by the end of that - but, n a good way. I felt like I had a good workout and I appreciated that. However, Wednesday I would start The Job and that would cause further strain. Not only would I be on my feet for 9 ½ hours for the next two days, but I would be doing so in shoes that were not made for being on your feet for 9 ½ hours. 

I had hoped yesterday would help put things back in line. I even managed a good soak in the tub after the Safety Meeting. And, I mean a good soak. I even drifted off into a slight meditation. I had visions. I just can’t remember them. I only remember having them. Much like my dreams of late. 

Nonetheless, the point being, I’m not straightened out. I am in a lot of discomfort this morning. I don’t know how I am getting around this. I only know that I have to try. On the upside, it is a positive kind of pain. It’s a healing pain. A growing pain, if you will. I get that and that does make it a bit easier to face. It just doesn’t make it easier to feel. 

I want to take a look at the Numbers while I have a moment. 

We are currently in Week 5 - the Number of Coming Into Being. It is in 5 that we, both, face and forge ourselves. This is pretty much what the Week has been. Wednesday and Thursday I started The Job and managed some life between and around. Yesterday let me put some things in order, in my mind at least. Now, I make two more days of work and then I have two more days of rest, or days to myself, to forge my way into Week 6. [That dreaded Number I do not understand.]

We are also at Imbolc, the beginning of new things. The true start to the year. 

Can I even stress enough that things are lining up all on their own. I have not done, created, nor spun anything. For the length of this Experiment, I have merely lived my life Day by Day, Step by Step, letting myself Follow the Flow the best I could, and, so far, everything has been Precise and Perfectly Placed. 

I’ve written previously about how these patterns and cycles happen constantly and often overlap each other. I demonstrated this by pointing out that though we were in some Week or another of The Experiment that, technically, we were still in the 0 Month of the year and that would Bering its own energies to the Cycle of things. 

Let’s break down the bigger picture into something a little smaller. Let’s apply the Numbers to The Job. 

I am in my first week at The Job, which, by our measures, would make it Week 0 - The Void. This is the place where all things exist but nothing has form. It is in 0 that formation is conceived and begins. This is what has been happening with The Job. I have been redefining myself. I have been learning the ropes and getting acclimated. I mean, fortunately, I’ve climbed these ropes before, so it’s a little easier. 

I will be going into Week 1 in this next week. 1 is the realization of The Self - The Emergence. By next Sunday I should have a pretty good grip on what is going on and how to make the most of it all. In Week 1 I will also receive my first pay. It is not a full two week pay but it is a step in the right direction. 

And, because of the way [I hope] I will be receiving my pay for several weeks, by the time we get into Week 2 I should have definitely found some balance in my life. 

By the time I receive my first full two-week pay it will be Week 3 of The Job. 1 - the Number of The Emergence, The Realization of The Self. 3 the number where Creation begins - the trinity of this 3 being myself, The Job and The Income. By the time we reach Week 4 I will definitely be able to build foundations in my life - across the board. So, that by Week 5, I can start Coming into Being. 

The systems work. The patterns are there naturally. But, like every other system there are depths and levels and perceptions. So, it can not only be confusing, it can oft times seem misleading. 

I’m going to stop here for today and pick this up again as I can. Perhaps there will be some tonight. Perhaps in the morning. Perhaps it will all wait until tomorrow after work. I do not know. I only know that this post is...The Day Before, Of, & After. (D.B.O.&A.)

Sunday, February 2, 2020; 0521

I’m not sure what to say about The Day Of. It came and went really. If I gained anything from it, it was a bit of insight. 

So, I worked my ten hour shift yesterday. This is not the first time I have had to work on a Day Of, but it was the first time I had to put in a day like that. I was very sore at the start of my day. I don’t know what the problem was exactly. That did subside throughout the day and I was doing much better than I would have thought I would have been at the end of my shift. We’ll see how today goes. I’m not nearly as bad as yesterday, but still a little tender. 

Whatever The Day Of was it was focused on The Job, I suppose. If anything, yesterday was a reminder that I need to keep the ‘I’m not looking for a career’ mindset.  That’s not why I’m there. But, why am I there?

At least one of you, Fellow Travelers, thought, “To have a job,” or, “To make money.” Both very true. But, also very mundane. I mean, there are lots of ways to make money if you can put yourself into it. And, a job? Well, there are lots of jobs. Why this one? Fourth try is a charm? The Parent Company didnt work out. That was caused by ego and the fear of not being able to make it work. In the end, this was probably best. The Distributor didn’t work out. I was in over my head. Again, probably for the best. I would have completely broken myself on all levels. The money would have been nice, but I would have nothing left of me. Then there was the Other Fast Food. I couldn’t even get an interview with them. 

But, this...this happened so fast and easy. I went into the interview expecting to be told that I would hear from them. I did not think I would get hired on the spot, let alone be working in full swing a week later. Honestly, I didn’t start this week expecting to have a full 40 hours, but I do. And, I do again next week. 

There’s a reason I’m at The Job.

I have one suspicion, so far, as to what the reason may be, but there is not enough for me to go on yet. In the meantime, I look at the reason as being a personal challenge. I’m already aware that, on some level, I need to keep my ego in check. It can very often get the better of me in positions such as this. It’s not one of those, “I’m just amazing,” kind of things. I mean, I do believe I am good at what I do. But, I realize I can always improve. So there is that. 

I can’t get too invested. All it will do is lead to my frustration. I need to do my best to go in to the restaurant and just focus on me. I need to work and strive towards being better and improving everyday. For instance, apparently, I am a little weak on the Drive-Thru. [Of course, I wouldn’t have put someone only 3 days into their job on Drive-Thru.] 

(See...that ego.) 

I realize they are trying to Fast Track e through to a shift leader position. The goal is about four weeks. So, we are one week through that at the end of today. But, still, I barely had a chance to get used to the register system before I was thrown onto the busiest register in the restaurant. I’ve learned a lot though in the last two shifts. Mostly because I had to. 

I’ve had other problems though. Yesterday, the cars had difficulty hearing me. Someone said something about me being a little ‘quiet.’ Yeah. I know. I find that hard to believe myself. And, I get a little discombobulated with the expediting when we get busy. I’ve made a couple of mistakes. Or, maybe I have made more. 

Here’s what I noticed last night - a good portion of the crew already does not like me. Unfortunately, this has nothing to with my management style, because I haven’t acted like a manager yet.  I’m not asking people to do things, or telling them what to do. I’m really just kind of doing my own thing. I go in. I work the position they tell me to work. Beyond that I try to find ways to keep myself busy. Mostly I have been cleaning...and watching. 

I have to accept that some things just are the way they are and there is nothing I am going to do to change them. For instance, I notice the other day that the one employee [Yes, the one who hasn’t liked me since Day 1] walks around with a Bluetooth earpiece. I can’t imagine what he needs it for. He shouldn’t be on the phone while he’s working a shift. And, he shouldn’t be listening to music. So, why does he have it? But, it is let go. In fact, he is not the only one. Last night there were at least three of them walking around. Two of those were management. It is an accepted thing. It’s wrong. It’s unnecessary. But, it is accepted. There is nothing I will do about that. 

The other thing I have noticed is a lot of standing around...and people on their phones. When I am eventually running a shift I can do something about this. I’m not a stand around kind of guy. There’s no standing around as long as there is something to do...and there is always something to do. It will be a few weeks before I am running any shifts, so in the meantime, I can ‘lead’ by example. I don’t ever stand still. LIke I said, I’ve been focused mostly on cleaning. Larger, but manageable projects. I go in every day and look for something that I can work at without being in the way or hindering service/production. It can be challenging, but it can always be done. The store is absolutely filthy. But, is that any wonder, what with all the standing around?

This is the kind of stuff I will need to learn to balance over the next few weeks. The work needs to get done and that is what we are there to do. But, they are not used to that. They stand around just as much with the restaurant manager as they do any other time. And, the phones. Oh my. Employees using phones all over the place. Not only do they not try to hide the fact that they are on their phones [and when I say ‘hide’ I mean from the guests,] but they also will use them, wearing their gloves, and then go right back to making food. 

Holy, what the…..!?!?!?!

Or another example of where I will run into problems, let’s talk about pies. My first night I was told by the Assistant Manager to pull pies from the freezer and stock the little cooler on the front line. Ok. Fair enough. But, that was all she told me. Well, that and, “the pies are in the freezer.” The thing is, the pies have expiration times. If I didn’t already know this, I could have deduced it from the Friday Day Dot that was already on the trays. Nonetheless, I wasn’t told any of this. I couldn’t remember how long the hold time was - 3 days, 5...maybe 7 [but probably not.] If I could have remembered I would have just marked them - if i had known where the day dots were. 

It is three days. I asked the next morning. I didn’t ask that night because I was too pissed and frustrated at the moment. But, ok. 3 days. I happened to spot the day dots all on my own that morning. (Ask & It Is Given; Seek & Ye Shall Find.) So, I marked the tray I did with a Saturday Day Dot and put the date on it. [Because, that’s what you’re supposed to do. Welcome to Food Service.] I noticed last night that my Day Dot is gone. The generic, non dated Friday one was still in place. They had restocked/overstocked the pies. So, now there is way too much product in the cooler and none of it is marked properly. If I were a dick of a manager, both of those trays would have been thrown out last night because, according to the Day Dot, they expired the night before. But, I knew better, so I just let it go. 

But, that’s not right either. 

So, this is what I need to resolve. 

But, still, why am I there? 

We can’t view this experience as any different from the rest of my experiences. They are all Divine. Sometimes, though, they don’t have so much to do with me as they do someone else. I come in and out as needed. It’s just been part of the course of things for me. It is both frustrating and exhilarating. It’s a wonderful feeling when you can lift another person up, even in the slightest way. But, it is difficult to not be able to maintain stability in life because of drifting from place to place, duty to duty. 

In the break room there is a ‘Goal’ board. I noticed that the Restaurant Manager posted a note that stated his Goal as wanting to be the top GM in the northeast. Perhaps this is part of why I am there. I am not going to focus on it, nor make it my mission. I am only, for now, going to keep it in the back of my head as I try to forge my own path in this. I will use it as a subtle motivation to keep on top of myself. I really am not, at the moment, that concerned about what anyone else is doing. There is an entire management staff that does not drive their employees, so that is beyond my reach. But, I can remain diligent in my own efforts. 

I work another 10 hour shift today. Sunday is the slowest day of the week, or so I am told. Plus, it is SuperBowl Sunday. That means that free lunchtime things are going to drop significantly. It happens in every restaurant around America - unless of course that restaurant caters or has nachos/wings. But, even in those instances, by game time, every restaurant, everywhere, has slowed to barely a crawl. I am hoping to use this as an opportunity to polish up a little bit. I have set some Goals of my own. 

I want to walk the restaurant and really familiarize myself. I have no idea where anything is and it makes me feel useless and helpless. Of course, no one has bothered to really help me in this effort either. I would also like to figure out where the Operations Manual resides - whether in print or digital - so I can read it and reference it. If I want to be able to do my job correctly, I cannot rely on these folks to show me how to do it. It’s actually very unfortunate. If I were a new employee, never having done this before, I would be overwhelmed and lost at this point. I have been given no real direction, nor guidance. My only moments of training have been watching [some] of the videos and about a 10 minute register crash course. [If I were a new employee, I would also be learning some very bad habits.] But, I am not completely new and that is the problem. I know when I see something wrong and, technically, there is nothing I can do to correct most of it. That is all on the Restaurant and Assistant Managers. They need to set the pace for that. But, I can commit myself to making sure that I am getting it right. 

I would also like to watch more videos if I can. If for no other reason than to just become a little more familiar with the process as a whole. I also have a cleaning project or two that I will take on if I can. 

These, though, are my side Goals. I do not know what position they will place me in today, or what I will need to focus on precisely. But, whatever it is I want to focus on it. I want to study it, learn it, do it. For instance, if I am at the Drie Thru again, then I want to really focus on it as a whole. I want to get the system down and overcome the weaknesses I have spotted in my performance, I want to focus on the keeping the area stocked, and learning where things are to do so. 

There was one other significant moment to yesterday - outside of The Job. It involves Spike. Now, Spike and I had our ego moments early on. It is a natural thing. I was not only coming int his space, but I was challenging his way of being.

When I first started staying at Hoagie’s, Spike was kind of a brat. He made Hoagie jump through hoops all weekend long and had very little consideration at all. Occasionally, I would step in and speak up. Mostly, I watched and then would talk to Hoagie about things later. His attitude is definitely different more recently. He is behaving and being polite and respectful. I like him like this. He’s a good kid. 

So, we were not always tight. But, then the night of the Firecrackers happened. We ended up spending that time together one-on-one and we have been real tight ever since then. I mean, even with the ego issues I was reaching out to the kid. He had an idea for one of the trees I was working on at Yule time. I wasn’t sure what I thought of it, but I decided to try it. I liked it and that tree became part of his Christmas present. I told him that, since it was his creativity, he deserved the first one. I had also given him a little tool bag that I had put together for him - small hammer, little dual-ended screwdriver, mini tape measure and safety glasses. That boy has that thing out almost every time he is here - measuring things and taking the handles off of everything. 

Anyway, last night, after I got home, Spike whispered something to Hoagie. Hoagie says, “I think you should tell Matt that.” He turned to me, and with a big smile, said, “I want you to stay forever.” He also gave me a very big hug before bedtime. 

When he told me this, I chuckled and said, “i think you should tell everyone that.” I wanted to say, “tell your mother that,” but I didn’t want to play those kinds of games. You see, this is part of why Hoagie had to go to Custody on Friday. Spike’s mother is trying to get me out of here, or at least keep Spike from Hoagie until I’m gone. This did not work out for her. Not at all. She tried to claim, on paper, that I was a threat to her son because I am a “convicted criminal.” This amuses me because she knows the story behind my jail time. She was just grasping at straws and trying to be difficult - either to me or Hoagie...or both. It mattered not though. Hoagie went to the meeting with papers in hand. I gave him the hard copies of my background checks - state police, F.B.I. Fingerprinting. These are the very background checks that were used as my clearance to work at The Middle School last year and would have allowed me to go back this year, had I been able to do so. So, there was really nothing for her to go on and the case worker pretty much told her that. 

So I find it all amusing. 

That is The Day Of. 

Now we are on to the Day After. I do not have much motivation today. I am only geared towards getting through my shift so that I can get to my days off. This is all typical of a Day After. It tends to be just as mellow as the Day Before, if not more so. 

So, I am just going to drift through the day. I will focus on work while I am at work and then when I am home I have things to figure out. I want to finish whatever needs to be done with this post, plus I want to get myself figured out for the next two days. [Time to make a List.]

As of yesterday, I still haven’t been able to receive my InstantPay. I am crossing my fingers that it is merely a delay, or temporary glitch in the system. Otherwise, it will be a difficult time to get through until payday on Friday. I’ll have a phone bill to figure out, plus I’ll have to find money for doing laundry...not to mention gas for The MattMobile. So, fingers crossed. I should know by two at the latest today if it is working. [On the possibility that it is Sunday and nothing works, maybe by tomorrow.] I could really use that money right now. And, it is definitely an advantage to The Job. I figure, as long as it works, I can use this system for a few pay cycles just to get myself balanced out again. 

I do want to take a moment, while I know I am writing, to look at the Numbers/Cycles again. Just in brief. 

The year is 2020. This is a 4. 4 is the Number of Foundations and Building. So, this entire year is geared towards those things. We have just entered the 1 month of the year. We are in the first week of that month, which would make it Week 0 - The Void. Again, this makes sense. Even though things have been laid out for me to work with, I am still trying to understand it all. The conception has happened and now I am awaiting things to take true form. By the time I get my first paycheck, I will be at the end of my second week of The Job - Partnership, Balance. And, by the time I get my second pay, the full two week pay, I will be on Week 5 of The Job - the Number of Coming into Being. 

We are currently in the middle of Week 5 of The Experiment. When my next work week actually begins it will be the start of Week 6. [I still do not know this number at all.] And, when I receive that second paycheck - the two week one - we will be in Week 8 - the Number of Infinity, Abundance, and Divinity. All things fluid and moving. The Universal Movement.

1914

Well, so much for the 10 hour day. My back was hurting today. What I find interesting is that it hurt worse yesterday morning and I was able to make it through the ten hours. Today it hurt but was mild. I made it until 1600. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t ask to go home. I dealt with it and I suffered and I did what I could to get through. Eventually I would find myself almost kneeling on the floor to alleviate the pressure on my back and legs. The Assistant realized it was bad and told me to go sit in the break room. I would eventually go for a cigarette and when I came back I was not moving well at all. The new Manager on shift started to say, “Let me know how you’re…”

“Do you really need me tonight?”

LIke at that point I was willing to ask...but not until the door was opened slightly. I was in some serious hurt. I am almost ashamed to admit that I could have cried. 

I did leave and I made it back to The Dormitory. Hoagie was very kind and tried to be accommodating. He could tell as soon as I walked through the door that I was hurting. I laid on the cot and there I stayed for over an hour. 

It felt so good to just lay still, to let the whole of my body relax. I would slowly work my way into some energy healing. I went deep. I know that I had visions and whatnot. But, as usual, I cannot remember them. I can only remember them happening. 

These little meditations I have are so very intriguing to me, especially when other people are around - such as Hoagie and Spike. I go in deep. I am definitely ‘out.’ I can’t really move or open my eyes. Yet, I am very much aware of my surroundings. For instance, I was in very deep and had not opened my eyes in quite some time, yet I could sense Spike playing around near the cot. He was popping his head back and forth at me. I could see that...or the energy of it anyway. 

Anyway, I got up and realized for the first time just how much pain I had actually been in. I needed to experience the relief before I could understand just how severely I was hurting. The same thing happened when I drilled my hand. It took days before my system recovered from being on ‘defensive mode’ and dealing with the pain. When it did, I realized just how much it had hurt. In fact, I’m pretty sure it is the most pain I have ever experienced. 

I didn’t like leaving work. But, I feel like I saw it coming. I even had the thought on the way in that if I could just make it to 1600 that would be acceptable and workable. That is exactly what happened without any thought or effort on my part. I didn’t even remember having that thought until hours after I was already home. 

Everything Happens for a Reason. 

Precise & Perfectly Placed.

Let’s start with what I think made my back worse yesterday. It’s true that I had a rougher week than I would have liked for my first week back into action. I had two gigs on Monday. They only took an hour between the two of them, but they worked my back a bit. On Tuesday I took one gig that took an hour and worked my back about twice as much. I was hesitant to do it because I know it would leave me hurting, but...I was chasing the money. This has always been my thing. I saw an opportunity to make a few bucks and I pushed for it. I’m glad I did because it was all I had left to get me to now and beyond. [And, it wasn’ that much.] 

But, see, my focus was on the finances. Just as they were yesterday. I have made mention of this opportunity to get paid each day half of my wages from the previous day’s shift. I was anxious to get this started, not only because it would have come in handy right this moment and later this week, but I also thought I could use the system to help balance myself out steadily. As of yesterday afternoon I had still not received an wages in my account. This had me very stressed. It turns out, as I would learn after I got home, that, because of my Child Support Wage Attachment, I am not eligible for the instant pay. 

So much for all of that.

Long term it’s not such a big deal. It will all work and balance out. However, I was really hoping to have that money for my phone payment this week. For whatever reason, every month they move my due date up one day earlier. Last month it was the 8th. So, I figured it would be the 7th and that would be perfect because it was payday. The money would be there. However, they moved it up to the 6th. That is the day before payday. Now I don’t have the money and I am preparing to be without a phone for a day until I can get somewhere and get it turned back on. 

The funny part is, if I had just let things alone and stuck with the direct deposit it is totally possible that the money would have been in my bank account by Thursday anyway. Now it won’t. 

This happens to me a lot. I see opportunity and I think I am working a great plan for success. Then it blows up in my face and I end up in a situation. This is part of why I am really trying to just step back and let Spirit do whatever it is that Spirit does. Now, in this situation, I felt that I was taking notice to this opportunity because it was what Spirit wanted. And, maybe it was. Who really knows? We’re we there at The Creation? But, it is what it is what it is what it is. 

Day by Day, Step by Step

WALT: Slowly I turned…

Knock it off.

WALT: ...inch by inch…

Seriously. Enough. 

WALT: NI-ag-ara Falls!!!

Damn it!!!

It’s all we can do. It’s all I can do right now. I wondered how a Day Before, Day Of, Day After would go with an actual job. I had plenty of them at The Theatre, but it was shorter work days and I spent a lot of time alone. I was certain it would be the Day Of that was the issue. It wasn’t. It was the Day After.

After I got up from my recovery session, I sat in to writing. The Hoagie came home from dropping off Spike and the energies would shift. I realized already by 1930 that this is why i had to come home. I wouldn’t have been home until 2030 otherwise, and I certainly wouldn’t have been able to deal with what we had on our plates. 

I won’t get into details. Let’s just leave it at there was a lot of spiritual energy flying about here tonight. We were definitely not alone at times. I’m noticing this trend. There is some sort of spiritual vortex happening. The veils seem thinner. More people are having different kinds of experiences and moments. Wisconsin was having some of her own throughout the night. 

So, this is where I am at. Moving into the week ahead I have no idea what I am doing about money. I could use gas in the car. I might need a few more groceries, but I can probably get by on what I have stored here. And, I would like to find the phone bill money - if for no other reason, so I don’t have to through the aggravation of turning it back on before work on Friday. Unfortunately, this all means that I don’t have laundry money either. So, I am going to be re-wearing clothes until whatever my day off is next week. 

I do not know what the next two days hold in store. I will take them slowly and without much thought really. I have nothing particular to do and there is no place I can go, if I plan on getting to work on Wednesday and Thursday. Plus, I need to just let my back recover in its own way. 

If you’re not already there go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page - WTML, or the YouTube Channel - Welcome to my Life.

Wherever you are, and whenever you are, Like, Comment and Share. Let us know you’re there.

So, without hesitation…

For now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaand Johnny…

And, those guys, saying, “stay tuned in Fellow Travellers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: ...and freakishness, baby!!

TOTEMS:

There is really only one Totem from this week, but it was a very significant one. This Totem appeared every day, several times a day, and often in multiples. 

Hawk - Visionary Power and Guardianship. Messengers, protectors and visionaries. Visionary power and leading you to your life purpose. There is a message coming. What you eat, you become. Kundalini. Childhood visions are becoming empowered and fulfilled. The ability to soar and glide upon the currents. Great Heights while still keeping your feet on the ground. Attacks by people who won’t understand you - attack your ability to soar. Teaching of higher expression of psychosis and vision. Beauty and harmony in moderation. Lead you to using your creative energy in manifesting your soul purpose. Hope and new ideas. A need to be open to the new or shows ways that you may help teach others to be open to the new. Be observant. Life is sending signals. Careful in expression. Comments and actions will be strong and powerful with the ability to tear and/or kill.