Purge-atory

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Yeah, it’s true.

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co.

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Warden

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Hoagie Snowflake

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

The Looch

The Bassett Hound

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason

Oh, Danny Boy

St. Diane & You

Brother John

Thing 1 & Thing 2

The Nameless One

Good Man, Charlie Brown

‘Jim’

The Rox

CCPA

Senoll #5

Superstar

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Belle

The Witch Baby

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, August 16, 2020. Time...Liquidating

Theme – It Is What It Is What It Is What It Is

Lesson – Look Before You Leap

Observation – Tomorrow Will Take Care of Itself

The Post

So, here we are - the end of a week and the beginning of…something. I was going to say Quest, but let’s be honest, I’ve been questing for a very long time now.

Right this moment, I don’t really know how I feel about anything, and I don’t know that I care to know. [Right this moment.]

The week was pretty much the way I had seen it. Friday was an easy day to get through. Yesterday was a bear. And, today ebbed and flowed fluidly to freedom. [And, Freedom.]

It seems as though there are a thousand questions and not one answer. So, all I can do is go with what I know. All I know, right this moment, is that I have a three day Quest ahead of me. I know I will return, only because I must take The Princesses home. Otherwise, that would be an uncertainty. I know I have shifts scheduled at The Job. I believe I will be going in, but I do not know. I do not know anything, right this moment.

The Job really is kicking my ass. It beats me up pretty hard. Now, I don’t mind working hard. I don’t mind it at all. It’s quite satisfying really, when you think about it. But, it is fairly constant, with no relief or change in sight. Even this wouldn’t bother me so much if, at the end of the day, I didn’t still need to figure out how to make more money.

The irony [I think] of the situation is that I can’t really make that extra money without a home and I can’t afford a home without the extra money. What is one to do?

The plan, right this moment, it seems is to return to The Seasonal Store three days a week as an assistant, then 4 days at The Job. I figure it’s going to suck, but, perhaps, better that than 3 days to sit in my car.

Right this moment, I know that I have two nights of parking/sleeping to figure out. Then , I have 6 or 7 that are taken care of.

I know that I need to figure something out sooner rather than later.

I know Spirit has a plan. But, right this moment, I don’t have a clue what it may be.

A Quest is afoot. It’s not really my Quest, it belongs to The Princesses. Still, I will Quest because Questing is what I do best. If there is a Quest, there must be questions. [Where there is smoke there is fire.] What are my questions?

1. What am I really supposed to be doing?

This can’t be it. Life shouldn’t feel this hard, or hurt this much. As Stuart Wilde has pointed out - Life was never meant to be a struggle. So, what am I supposed to be doing? This can be a broad question, encompassing so many things, or it could be more pointed.

2. How am I supposed to make better money?

I don’t mind working hard, or working a lot. My problem is that I can do that and still not make the money I need to. So, how do I put myself together and package myself up in a way that makes me worth more…to someone - a company, a client, someone?

3. Where the hell am I going to live?

I’d say that I don’t care where, but that would be misleading. I don’t care if I have to go to The Mission. It’s not really what I want to do but I can. However, it is definitely temporary. So that’s not the answer to the question. I don’t care if I have to live out of my car. It’s challenging and it sucks, but there are worse things. I’d just like it if it could be a more comfortable vehicle. I don’t care if I have to live in an RV. I don’t really care as long as I can function. Needless to say I would like at least an apartment. I would love a house. I miss the work and projects involved.

4. What about a vehicle?

The MattMobile is on her last leg. Of this, there is no doubt. I don’t see her lasting a year. I’m not certain I see her lasting three months. But, again, I am not in the financial situation to manage that.

5. What about my daughters?

Sometimes, it hurts me, the life they live. I believe they should have better, but maybe that’s not the plan. Still, I just want to know that they will be ok in life.

I think that covers it for the moment.

There are still a lot more, but those are the biggest things, right?

As usual, there is so much on my mind. So many thoughts and so little time. [in between writing I have been washing the car, doing finances, getting gas, etc.]

The other night, I was asked what it is I see when I ‘see.’ That is always such a difficult question to answer. My experiences vary. Perhaps that is why it has taken 20+ years to get even the slightest grip.

Everyone has some sense. Some see. Some hear or feel. Some smell. And yes, some even taste. You will find me referencing any one of these very often. When we feel we call it a ‘gut feeling.’

Those who see we call mediums or clairvoyant. Those who hear are clairaudient. I’m not sure about the other two. Nonetheless, the experience is different for everyone and we all have it…sometime.

Personally, I experience a little bit of all of them. I very often get [and use] that gut feeling. It is what I have followed to many a saving grace, or blessing. Though I don’t hear often, I would have to consider The Voice some variation of it. For me, smelling is more of a sensation or feeling. I would have to say the same of tasting.

But, seeing, that is something all it’s own. When I see, I see differently each time. Sometimes it is a hard, solid something. Other times it is just a brief flash. Still, there are other times when it is an image or scene overlaying The World around me.

I can’t really explain it any better than that. I don’t know how. 24 years of dealing with this and I still couldn’t tell you how it really works, or how I know. I just know.

For example, as I was waiting in line earlier to pay for my gas, another customer walked in. He was wearing a black mask. In the middle of it was an eagle in flight, surrounded by the orangish-red flames of an explosion. It struck me instantly. It was a message - a totem.

That got me to thinking about how it is that I know.

I don’t know.

I just…know.

My first thought was that of Synchronicity. Everything Happens for a Reason - Precise and Perfectly Placed. There truly is no coincidence. Of all the ways my evening could have gone it found me there at that very precise moment, looking in the perfect direction.

Next, I thought of totems themselves. I see little things throughout every day. I could spend an entire afternoon reviewing the number of totems I may come across. [Potentially.] What I have come to practice is to just acknowledge each one. I don’t think too much about them or play too much into them. Instead, I acknowledge them and move on. If one sticks with me throughout the day then it was a totem. If it doesn’t then it was just a cigar.

I know there was one today that I acknowledged and have since forgotten. However, there are several that have stuck - cricket, bat, wolf, tiger [white] and, now, eagle.

So, this is where we find ourselves, fellow travelers.

For now, I must take my leave and gear myself to the adventure ahead. I probably will not be able to post this until sometime after we check-in to the hotel tomorrow.

So many thoughts. So many questions. So many possibilities. (“Big bucks ahead.”)

Only Time Will Tell.

Saturday, August 15, 2020;1721

I’m not sure how far I got in yesterday’s writings. I suppose I could go back and look, but what would be the fun in that?

JOHNNY: Well, it would keep the reading from being redundant, Reverend.

Dude, there’s a handful of people reading this.

WALT: And, most of them are used to him prattling on incessantly.

Don’t help.

WALT: Just sayin’.

Remember…7 readers…

JOHNNY: 8.

What?

JOHNNY: We’ve hit 8 readers.

Oh. Oh, well, why didn’t you say so? I mean, perhaps you’re right. With such a climb in numbers maybe I should think about adjusting myself.

WALT: Do NOT stick a hand down your pants!!

How did you know that’s what I was gonna do?

WALT: We share a head…not that one!

How come you get all the good lines?

WALT: Because I know how to handle them. Same reason I get all the pu…

JOHNNY: Walter!!

WALT: Puddin’. All the puddin’.

Is that what they’re callin’ it nowadays?

WALT: It’s what I’m callin’ it today. I could eat that puddin’ all night long.

You sound like Bill Cosby.

WALT: Duuuuuuuuuuuude.

What? Still too soon?

WALT: I’m thinking maybe.

Anyway, moving on.

I managed to straighten my mess out. We won’t be able to go to Massachusetts. This makes me a little sad because I know that’s the part to which they were really looking forward. But, they took it in stride. That makes me happy.

But the trip is still on and that’s the important part. I explained to them that there are so many Lessons in Questing [life] in this.

I think, even one for me.

Look Before You Leap.

This comes twice through this process. First, when I booked the room without looking at what we were dealing with. I checked the first stop and just never thought about it when I planned the second. So, I never looked.

Second, with my FB post, first thing yesterday. I was ahead of myself. My post wasn’t bad, nor alarming, but it seemed to act as a call to arms for my friends. Many reached out to help.

Till all was said and done, I fixed the hotel booking and manifested $130. Now, that should all be paid back. I wasn’t intending on borrowing money, or having so much. So, I thought maybe I would try not to use it, so I can pay it back when we return. However, my pay from The Seasonal store wasn’t anything close to what I had thought it would be. [They apparently took 94% in taxes.] Maybe I will need that help after all.

As usual, Only Time Will Tell.

As things stand, we will only be visiting Mystic. That’s ok. I’ve never really explored Mystic. I’ve only ever breezed through. So, I will not only get to share my experiences of it with The Princesses, but we will discover more of it together.

The Baker has upped her offer. If I can take care of their cats, then I can stay in the house - have a couch to sleep on and a shower. That’s one more week I do not have to think about.

I do need to try to find a place to shower towards the end of next week - Friday/Saturday. I also still need to make arrangements for sleeping Thursday and Friday.

This will take me to the end of my second week doing this. I said it would be at least 2 weeks, most likely at least 4. So, I mean, it all depends on when you begin counting.

If you start with Leaving The Dormitory, then this is just about the beginning of the second week. If you start with the end of my time at Brother John’s, then this is the beginning of the first week. Personally, I wasn’t going to officially start counting until we get back from this Quest.

It feels as though these days are my own personal quest. The Quest before The Quest.

I’m sure, in my head, there is still so much to say.

WALT: I’m sure.

But for now, I will take my leave.

Friday, August 14, 2020;0730

“What happens next is Divine.”

These were the words I heard last evening as I meditated and contemplated. Well, that’s good…right?

It sure seemed like it at first. It was soon after this that The Baker would message me and let me know that I can park in their driveway for a week while they’re away. That was awesome. It leaves me with only two nights when we get back to make arrangements for sleeping.

Sunshine’s softball practice was nice.

Everything seemed just fine.

Then, I headed to Mudder’s to crash for the night. As we sat chatting, I learned that I have a very big looming problem.

Our first stop on The Princesses’ Quest is Mystic, CT. I checked Connecticut and we were all clear for visiting. The stop I added was Salem, MA. I did not think to check Massachusetts and there are a lot of hoops to jump through in order to get into Massachusetts.

Ok. This sucks a bit.

So, now I am sitting at The Grove, waiting for The World to wake and open up so I can see how exactly I fix this.

Option 1 - try to get a Covid test with a rapid return time [like 1 Day] and hope we all test negative. Then we can just continue on our way. Personally, I would love for it to work out this way. They were excited for Salem and possibly a bit of Boston.

Option 2 - cancel one reservation and make a second. This will hurt financially, but then so could the Covid testing. There are options out there and I can probably swing this.

From here it is a matter of piecing it together.

I’ve had someone loan me $80 already this morning and I am putting feelers out for some Tarot Readings.

Where this leaves me for today is trying to get this all straightened out before my shift at The Job today. I am scheduled 11-7 so there is no way I can deal with it this afternoon. I had to call them last night and tell them that I had things come up to take care of and I would be in as soon as I could.

I don’t know what that means as of yet. It could be as simple as cancelling one reservation and making another. I can do this now with the borrowed money. [Did I ever mention how much I dislike borrowed money/being in debt?] Or, I could be getting the girls and going for Covid tests.

In either case, I don’t see myself getting to work on time.

What I find most interesting is that there was a second message last night.

“I don’t think tomorrow is going to be the day I think it is.”

Thursday, August 13, 2020;1840

I’m sitting at Sunshine’s softball practice. If I Can, I Do. [Or, however it went.] I could. It all worked out. Everything is working out - Little by Little, Bit by Bit.

All in Good Time.

Let’s look at the trip first. For a moment, it looked like The Princesses were going to have to get up and go to school the morning after we got back. This is not what we knew to be a day ago. Turns out that was a false alarm. In fact, it turns out that they don’t have to go in until the 24th…and online doesn’t start until 31st. So, they are more than clear.

Also, we have jumped ahead financially. All in all, manifestation brought me $160 more than I had planned or budgeted. [I’m having trouble with words. Do I manifest? Or, does manifestation just happen?]

Now, most of that has already been spent or will be. But, that’s ok. The real concern was getting through this week and still having enough to put towards next week. I got through this week. I got through this week and had $30 extra to put towards next week, or even just the next few days.

I have gathered what I can for the moment and in cash alone we have our primary expenses covered. And, I still have two more sources to draw from - I have change to turn in and I have some copper wire to scrap. Between the two of them, I am projecting $40. We shall see.

I haven’t looked at the accounts close enough to know where they should be at when we leave on Monday. But, there should be more than enough.

I’m feeling [nervous/anxious?] about the trip. It’s not necessarily bad. I mean, I am a little concerned about finances, but that’s just me. I’m sure we’ll be fine.

But, there is also something very intense attached to it. I can already feel myself in it. I’m there waiting for me. The next three days could be very hard and intense. I have places to stay - twice in the car, twice on a couch. I have three shifts at work. Tomorrow will be the easiest of my days and Saturday the hardest. Less than 48 hours to go and I will be on the upside of it all. At that point it is just getting through Sunday.

My biggest issue at the moment is not being able to grab a shower until Sunday after work. That’s gonna suck. A lot.

Another example is right this moment. I got the girls home today and had close to 4 1/2 hours to kill before I go to my resting place. [The Mudder’s.] so, I stopped for coffee and gas and headed to The Grove. There, I Re-organized the MattMobile a bit, and got myself together the best I could. I meditated and zenned. I even left a tribute for the Fae Folk.

I still had time to kill. Turns out, I also had Sunshine’s sunscreen. It dropped from her bag into the trunk. That was enough to know this was the place to go.

Along the way, I was offered an empty driveway to park in for a week. [even a yard to camp in, but our tent is gone now.] This has me covered the Wednesday night we get back and then Saturday to Friday. So, right this moment, I have Thursday night and Friday night to figure out, and I’m sure I can put something together before then.

I’m glad to be based more at this end of The Valley again. It lends me some peace. It’s familiar. I know how to maneuver and manage it.

I do feel good about things, but I don’t know why. I feel like there are still great shifts to come over the next week or two.

[I feel very grounded at the moment. More in ‘control.’ More so than I think I have in 2 decades.]

Before, I move on in life and forget, or find myself crunched for time, I have one other interesting thing from this past week.

I was chatting, once again, with The Big Boss. After our last chat, I had sent him a message. I expressed my appreciation for his apology and apologized myself. He finally reached back to me last night.

It was a nice, albeit brief, chat. He just wanted to acknowledge my message and say that we need to do a Boys Club night. Apparently, he misses the. As much as I do. Through the chat it came up that he may spot me a ticket to come see the latest show, which he is in.

In other words, all is well and there are no hard feelings.

I think that says a lot.

0726

And, so, we’ve come to this.

Today is the last for house-sitting. Tomorrow I return to work for 3 days. I have a place to park/sleep tonight, Saturday and Sunday. I need to work on Tomorrow but I think I can swing it. I want to check the same place for Wednesday night after we get back. I have a shower arranged for Sunday.

This is where I am at. In there I have 3 days/2 nights away with the girls. When we get back is when the real fun begins, I suppose. I will be full time living in my car, trying to work a job that hurts me, while trying to figure out where/when/how I can live. And, along the way, I must make more income – either by figuring out how to continue on this season at the Seasonal Store, or through any one of my other methods, which I don’t necessarily have the resourced for while living out of my car.

I am working very had at [trying] not to think about these things.

It is what it is what it is what it is…and all I can do is maneuver through it.

Oh, how I tire of uttering these words. Over and over again. Year after year. Moment after moment. It is the same cycle. The same pattern. I only ever get so far in moving life forward and then I am set back in a way I don’t always know how to manage. Like this. I mean, I can manage living out of the car. I did it all last summer. Things were different – some better, some worse. But, I did it. I am geared up and ready to do it again. I have greatly reduced the amount of stuff I am carrying in the MattMobile. I really am trying to keep it to a minimum. This is possible now because I do have more regular access to The Cave and I don’t have to necessarily be prepared for ‘anything.’ I just need to be prepared for things I will absolutely face on a daily basis.

I’m not worried. I’ll survive. I always survive. [Though, if I’m being honest, sometimes I get tired of uttering those words as well.] I’m just really not in the mood. That’s all it is. I’m not in the mood for this. Not right now.

But…It is what it is what it is what it is.

Do Not Worry About Tomorrow, for Tomorrow Shall Take Care of Itself.

It’s true, and I know this. Maybe that is why I am not worried. It could be worse. It could all be much, much worse. I think, the idea behind sharing the itinerary for the next several days is to show and remind that I do have some comfort over the next week. Two nights in my car but in a very safe and comfortable environment. [Three if you count when we get back.] Two nights on a friend’s couch. Two nights in a hotel. I can do the whole next week up until Thursday morning. At that point I am in a Void.

But, they say to focus on the now.

Like, I said, ‘Now’ I am ok.

It was a god Day After. I made cinnamon buns for The Princesses to snack on when they woke up, and throughout the day. I made them some egg sandwiches for breakfast. This was commonplace when I was at Old Geistopia, and something they don’t get often anymore. Much like my French toast, which they will have this morning.

Eventually, we got ourselves together and ran to West Reading. We didn’t do a whole lot except get their cupcakes and macaroons. One shop we like has closed. The other wasn’t open due to vacation time. That left one and it was small.

From there. We headed to Cuddlebug’s school to get her laptop. This was smooth and easy. I was concerned about the $50 payment, which I learned is non-refundable. I was gonna be kinda upset about that, but why? It is what it is what it is what it is. First of all, I was able to defer payments. They had a payment plan option - $10 over each of 5 months. First payment due in September. I will most likely pay it all at once. I just didn’t want to pay it out now before the trip. [I’m certain we have the money we need, I just like to be over-prepared when I can. Better to have it and not need it than need it and not be able to have it.]

I mean I can’t really get to upset. We are still, technically, $40 ahead of where we were two days ago. Even with everything we spent yesterday. It’s true. We went through $70 of that new found $110. It was $35 on miscellaneous groceries. $20 for dinner last night. And, about $20 on the cupcakes, macaroons, and drinks. So, we are still ahead.

Anyway, we got back from the school and just hung out for an hour or so. Then we ran to pick up dinner. We came back and settled in to eat while watching some TV. Eventually it would be time for movie and ice cream. We like to do one night of this when we get together. Our movie last night was Mystic Pizza. I figured it might put them in the groove. Like, there were several scenes that had the draw bridge in them. I would point it out to the girls. Now, when we go, they will see it. Be familiar. Soon after that, I was ready for bed. This caused a slight moment with Sunshine. She felt it left her with no place to sit and so she went into the bedroom. She said she was ok but she seemed sad. I’ll talk to her about it today.

I do really worry about her sometimes.

The past week has been nice, in particularly these last few days. Yet, it is also so bittersweet. It was nice to have time with the girls. That’s always nice. But, when we are here we get to actually function like a family – in ways we never could, not even at Old Geistopia. And, it’s interesting how we’ve grown. The other night after dinner with Craze, they willingly walked over and started the dishes. [They also did the dishes yesterday after breakfast.]

So, it’s nice to have that experience. It is all so foreign to me. But then, it starts to hurt, because ti ends so soon. It’s almost like a tease. Here I am, living life. I learn a lot about myself when I am here. Like, I do like to keep busy and I have no doubt I would keep a good home. But also, I see how much it helps my spirit and my body. And, now, I have to go back into the car – cramped and alone. But…

It is what it is what it is.

*deep breath and sigh.*

I did go to the neighbor yesterday. His name is Bob. Here is what I learned from ‘Knocking.’

- No one is in the home

- The home is currently not livable [the bathroom is torn out.]

- He is having problems with the township [which seems to want to insist there is someone living in the house.]

- He is out of work and cannot currently afford to do the fix-up work.

- He would like to eventually sell the house.

He was very resistant to everything at first. But, I am a salesman, I guess. I can talk a good game and quick, when I need to. In the beginning it seemed a hard and fast , “no.” but as I stayed and talked some more there was a bit of flexibility. He didn’t take my number, but before we were through he did verify that Brother John knows me [and how to get in touch with me.] He said he would ‘keep it in mind.’ I threw out everything I could in the moment – even helping to get the work done. So, to go from, “no,” to, “I’ll keep it in mind,” is a win.

I don’t see failure in this, nor wasted effort and time. No. Instead, I see one bridge crossed and the next waiting to be built. I see possibility. I wasn’t left with defeat, but hope and inspiration. I am spinning things in my head. Perhaps this could turn out to be more than I had originally hoped.

I want to talk about Spirit/G-d. Though I have time right now. I feel as though it is more appropriate for Sunday’s mood.

Wednesday, August 12, 2020; 0743

Interesting. I had written some more on Monday night because I had a feeling that I wouldn’t get a chance to write yesterday. I just opened the file and none of that writing is there. Now, to be fair, I knew that. I felt it, heard it, saw it, as I was choosing which file to open. There were two saved files, one a recovery. So, I picked one, opened it, and went to resave it – without ever checking it. I had a feeling I should, but I didn’t.

In this particular instance, it’s not really a big deal. I didn’t write a lot before, I needed to just rest. So, I didn’t lose a lot. Perhaps it is just a lesson overall. We Always Know. I knew what was going to happen with Hoagie. I saw it just before I hit ‘Post.’ I knew he was going to read it. I knew he was going to be upset. I just didn’t seem to care. Same with this. It wasn’t a big enough deal to worry about…or maybe I should start worrying.

Nah, I won’t take it that far. But more awareness perhaps. Take some time to stop and process the vision and what it means for me. *shrugs.*

So, Monday night I took a walk to the park. It was an hour and a little over two miles round trip. I felt good. But it was strange. I was going back and forth between being very calm and slow and zenful, and then being a little more hyper and scattered. But, all in all, it was a good walk. I needed it. I wish I could remember more of it, but then, maybe I wasn’t supposed to. I know there were some totems along the way – Snake, alligator, frog.

I also had thoughts about this one house. This is the thing that is on the table that is a long shot, but it keeps coming up. The whole thing takes me out of my comfort zone. But, it’s there, and I don’t think I will ever rest easy if I don’t at least ask. [Ask & It is Given, Seek & Ye Shall Find, Knock and the Door Shall be Opened.]

You don’t know if you don’t try.

I’m still not feeling very upset about things. [Oops, and there was one of those Déjà vu kinda moments.] I still believe that things are as they are supposed to be. I just sometimes wish I knew what that meant for me. I don’t know that this is the solution, but I can see myself knocking and asking. So, I should follow through.

Yesterday was a good day. I didn’t have to go for my driver’s license picture after all. Apparently, they are just sending out new picture cards now. I don’t know if this has anything to do with The -Vid or just the way things re done now. This allowed me to go for the girls a little earlier. This was both good and bad.

First, they were just kind of getting up as I was getting close. So, I had to adjust my travels to accommodate them. But, also, we were back here earlier but still had a time frame to meet with Craze. So, we had just a little too long to not get bored and not quite long enough to get into anything. Still, we just kinda hung out and chilled.

We did get Craze for dinner and it was nice. It was a big meal. A good meal. It wasn’t quite the evening I had hoped for in my mind, but it was nice. Craze just isn’t a very interactive or social person. Kinda funny when you consider all the time he spent in show business entertaining the masses. Anyway, he didn’t do anything much different here than he would at Old Geistopia. I had Sunshine bring her softball equipment. He use to play ball and it’s always been a thing for him so I thought maybe he’d want to give her some pointers. Nope. I told the girls to bring games he might like to play. Nope. He sat and watched TV. Fortunately, through the wonders of modern technology we were able to stream two very old movies for him to watch. [Both 1950’s. Both westerns.] Despite the inactivity, I think it was good for him to get out of the house and have some time away.

After we dropped him off we ran to the grocery store for a few things and then headed back.

I want to address something from yesterday. So, obviously, right now a lot of my thoughts are on the funds for next week’s Quest. I have some stuff in the works and there are funds aside. I’m comfortable that we can manage all essentials. I just want to know that we can do other things if we want. However, long before any of this was set in motion the girls and I had discussed maybe a day trip to West Reading. I always enjoy going there. There are a few shops I like. I don’t really need to go into any of them right now though. But, there is a cupcake bakery that they like to go to. The owner was on, and I believe won, Cupcake Wars. The girls were fascinated with this show and now they are fascinated with this place.

When I picked the girls up yesterday, I told them that I thought that we would have to forego that trip until another time. Yet, in my head, I told myself if I came up with some extra money I would take them. Before the day was through, I found myself $110 richer than I had been when the day started out. Cuddlebug gave me some money for my birthday. Big ‘D’ gave me a card with money in it to take the girls to lunch next week. And, I booked a reading, which was payed in advance.

So, today we are going to go down. However, it is coming with a cost. Today is also the day Cuddlebug must pick up her computer for school. Interesting how that works out, isn’t it. Their school is not out of the way from West Reading. But, there is also a $50 fee for the computer. [Refundable, I hope.] So, between groceries and cupcakes and computers and dinner tonight, I have gone through all of that extra money. SNAP! I won’t lie. It makes me cringe a bit. But, it doesn’t have me stressed. Everything has fallen together Precise & Perfectly Placed. It has all worked itself out this way so far. All we can do is just continue on the path before us.

I have to wrap this up. The girls are just about ready to go and I am tasked with ‘Knocking’ before we leave.

I want to take just a quick moment to touch on Big ‘D.’ The matter probably deserves more than a moment, but a moment is all I have at the moment. And it definitely deserves more than nothing. So, here we go.

She’s trying. I get that. It’s not what I want or need from the situation, but she is trying. So, I need to keep that in my head and hopefully it will help wash away any residual ill-feelings.

Monday, August 10, 2020; 0809

Here it is, The Day Before. In 25 hours (exact) I will have entered The World for the first time – 48 years ago.

That’s right. Tomorrow s my Re-Birthday. Let’s address it. I know you had the question in your mind. Why do I call it a Re-Birthday? Well, my theory is that, truly, you are only birthed once. So, it’s not really a birth-day. [I suppose if you wanted to call it the ‘Birthday Observed’ that would work for me.] Nonetheless, it tends to be a day that we not only celebrate, but reflect – on who we are and where we are. It could be great and deep contemplation and introspection, or just a quick and flitting glance. And, so, we also tend to make changes, shifts, adjustments to ourselves or our lives. In a way, we are re-birthed into something else.

Re-Birthday.

Of course, I observe every celebration, or Holi-day, in threes. [Thank you, DancingQueen.] I think it is natural law really. We all do it in little ways. We just don’t recognize it as such. The Day Before we prepare. The Day of we Celebrate. The Day After we recoup and recover.

So, this is my Day Before.

It’s a strange day already. First, I did not expect to have today off. That is just how things fell. So I see it as a sort of blessing. I get to have my Day Before all to me. I woke up later than I usually do. It wasn’t by much. I slept until 0700. I haven’t done much. I sat outside for a bit and just chilled. I did my Morning Devotion, and now I am doing this. It’s only been about an hour and a half but I feel like it has been much longer.

I woke up feeling strange. I should rephrase that [when I can.] It wasn’t a strange feeling. It is actually quite familiar. I was coming back from…somewhere. I can only retrieve one image, that I don’t even really remember encountering. It seems to be me in strife – in particularly financial. I don’t know anything beyond that. It could simply be the part of the vision showing me where I am at currently. Or, it could be, as in the Tarot, a vision of that which crosses, or challenges, me.

All I know is that I cannot allow myself to delve to deep into it. I can’t be attached. Today is for letting go.

I don’t really have anything planned for today. Why would I? I didn’t expect to have this day. I want to finish up Sunday’s post and get it up. I want to soak in a tub. I had wanted to last night, but I spent my time working on the post. And, tonight, I am making myself a steak dinner. Because I can. I may do my ‘Re-Birthday’ present tonight. Sometime after sundown. Other than that, I just need to keep up with my dailies and work at the rest of the stuff for the car. I also have some wire to strip. So we shall see what the day holds.

Something in this week, I hope, will tell me what is going on and just what I am supposed to do next.

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So, without hesitation…

For now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

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And, those guys, saying, “stay tuned in Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: ...and freakishness, baby!!

The Totems

**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**

Snake – Rebirth, Resurrection, Initiation, and Wisdom

Symbol of transformation and healing. Also alchemy and healing. Sexual/creative life force. Kundalini. Compassion, clairvoyance and charm. Lessons of forgiveness, superstitiousness, and possessiveness. Wisdom and understanding. Birth and death. Transmutation. Are you needing to make changes, but aren’t for some reason? Are you trying to force change too quickly. Are you striking out at people and shouldn’t? Are you not striking and should? What is needing to be healed? What opportunities are surfacing that you need to strike out for and take advantage of?

Alligator – Primal Energies of Birth, Motherhood, and Initiation

There could not be death without life or life without death. The feminine principle of life, and therefore birth. Initiation – endings/beginnings. The culmination of knowledge on one level and the seeking for newer on others. Higher vision and clairvoyance. Don’t go too fast. Digest what you have learned and experienced before moving on. Look for an opportunity to touch primal energies. There is going to be an opportunity for strong birth and/or initiation that will open new knowledge and wisdom in life.

Cardinal - Renewed Vitality through Recognizing Self-Importance

They remind us that, regardless of the time of day or year, we always have the opportunity to renew our own vitality and recognize our own life roles. Whistles are often reminders to listen closely - to pay attention to what is blowing on the winds. Reflects that we should be listening to the inner voice (the feminine) more closely for our own health and well-being. Almost always reflects a need to assert the feminine aspects of creativity and intuition more strongly. Can reflect a need to b more careful about your diet, that what you are eating may be injurious to yourself and affecting your overall vitality. Reflects the rhythm of 12 that is going to become more predominant within your own life. Reflects lessons associated with responsibility and the recognition of the task at hand. May reflect past-life connections with the church, or even a reviving of more traditional religious beliefs, regardless of denomination. Remind us to add color to our lives, and remember that everything is of importance.

Frog – Transformation Through Water and Sound

Water and Land. Faeries and elves. Linked to rain and control of the weather. Lunar energies. Have been known to be heralders of abundance and fertility. You may need to get in touch with the water element. It may reflect that there are new rains coming or that you need to call new rains forth. Maybe the old waters are becoming dirty and stagnant. Frog can teach you how to clean them up. It is a totem of metamorphosis. It is a symbol of coming into one’s own creative power. Usually frog people have strong ties to their mothers. [Hint? Clue?] Are you becoming too mundane? Are you becoming too mired in the mud of your day-to-day life? Are you needing to dive into some fresh creative water? Are you feeling waterlogged, becoming bogged down, or drowning in emotions?

Goldfinch – Awakening to the Nature Spirits

Black and yellow are the colors of the archangel Auriel. Used to invoke that aspect of this being that oversees the activity of nature spirits – the faeries, elves, and devas. Usually indicates the awakening to the activities of those beings that are normally relegated to the realm of fiction. Can help you to deepen your perceptions so that you can begin to see and experience the activities of the nature spirits yourself. Awakening to that which is normally hidden from view. In those areas where they are found, you can also find the faeries and elves. Can help us connect with those nature spirits that can show us how to heal animals – wild and domestic. A reminder that nature is speaking to us constantly and that we should learn to listen and communicate with it from all levels.

Wolf - Guardianship, Ritual, Loyalty, and Spirit

Teaches you to know who you are and to develop strength, confidence and surety in that so that you do not have to demonstrate or prove yourself at all. Very expressive with hands, face, posture, or some other manner. How to empower your verbal communications with appropriate key language. Teach the lesson of proper governorship - the balance between authority and democracy. How to use ritual to establish order and harmony in your own life. Helps us to understand that true freedom requires discipline. 22-24 months. Need to make use of all that is available to you. Remind us to not waste, as much as to remind us to keep our spirits alive Great discrimination. Listen to own inner thoughts and words. The intuition will be strong. Learning to trust your own insights and to secure your attachments accordingly. Help you to hear the inner and guard from inappropriate actions. Time to breathe a new life into your life rituals. Find a new path, take a new journey, take control of your life. Do so with harmony and discipline.

Eagle - Illumination of Spirit, Healing, and Creation.

Balance of being of the Earth, but not in it. The soul, the spirit, and warmth of life. The resurrection. Punishment and reward. Greater sight and perception. Reflects an awakening ability or the need to learn to walk between worlds. Heroic nobility and divine spirit. The rediscovery of the inner child. Alchemy. Involvement with creativity. A willingness to experience extremes in a controlled condition. A willingness to use your passions to purify and to use your abilities, even if you get scorched a little in the process. The need to stay connected to and use things of the Earth. Important to know when to speak, how much, how strongly. New vision will open. The ability to hear - spiritually and physically - may also increase. Cooperative responsibility. A healing role. Opportunities (even those thought long lost) will arise - learn to see and snatch them up. A new sense of timing and movement will begin to develop Primal force inherent and easily awakened. Take on the responsibility and the power of becoming so much more than you now appear to be. Events will now fly faster, repercussions for everything you think, do and say (or fail to) - positive and negative - will be both stronger and quicker. A powerful new dimension to life and a heightened responsibility for your spiritual growth. Touch all of life with healing and become the mediator and the bearer of new creative forces within the world.

Bat – Transition and Initiation

Symbols of initiation and rebirth. Implies a loss of one’s faculties if unwary about changes. Also holds the promise of rebirth and coming out of the darkness. The breaking down of the former self through intense tests. It is a facing of your greatest fears – that it is time to die to some aspect of your life that is no longer suitable to you. You are being challenged to let go of the old and create the new. You may see some part of your life go from bad to worse. That which worked before may no longer. The ability to move to new heights. The piercing of new barriers and the opening to higher wisdom. Awakens ability to hear spirit. An increasing ability to discern the hidden messages and implications of other people’s words. Listen as much to what is not being said. Trust your instincts. A new beginning that brings promise and power after the changes.

Tiger – Power, Passion, Devotion and Sensuality

Element of water. Find their most effective work accomplished at night. Mysticism surrounding new and full moons. There will be awakened a new sensuality – a sensitivity to touch. White tiger is a symbol of the west, autumn, and all metals. Expect new adventures. Begin within 6-8 weeks and last for about a year and a half. Do you need more passion for life? Are you expressing your life passion inappropriately? Has your energy been down? There will begin to develop new adventures and renewed devotion and passion for life.

Cricket –[from Spirit-animal.com]

Like the Ladybug and the Dragonfly, Cricket symbolism is a sign of exceptional luck. Furthermore, this spirit animal says that the things that you have been working toward and dreaming about are now possible. Therefore Cricket meaning directs you to stay open to guidance and messages so that you will know what you have to do. You may be guided to buy a lottery ticket, interview for a new job, or be in the right place at the right time. In other words, Cricket symbolism is letting you know that all things are possible right now. All you have to do is feel that you deserve it! Similar to the Robin and the Whale, people with Cricket totem know how to sing their songs loud and clear! In other words, they love to use the power of their voice to attract what they want in life. These folks also have a gift for finding their way through awkward moments with panache and aplomb. People with this spirit animal are excellent communicators, love to walk their talk and are often vegetarian. In fact, like the Deer totem, they understand the power of music and will usually have a career that uses music as a form of healing.