S2:EP12 -The 2019 Chronicles: Once Upon a Time

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Yeah, it’s true.

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co. 

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Hoagie Snowflake

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop (may they R.I.P.)

The Looch

The Bassett Hound 

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason

Oh, Danny Boy

St. Diane & You

Brother John

Thing 1 & Thing 2

CCPA

The PA F&AM

PDT

Senoll #5

Superstar

The Village of Idiots

The Spirit

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Baby-Mama Rabbit

My Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous. 

It is…Monday,September 2,2019. Time...Absolved.

Theme of the Week – Relax and Release

Lesson of the Week – Where You Goin’ in Such a Hurry?

Observation of the Week – There’s Always Just a Little More to it

I was on my way to The College to try to get some time in and suddenly I find myself sitting at The Grove writing. I realized that the writing is just as important (if not more so) as any other aspect of my life at the moment. 

It has been just about a month since I have done a regular post. That, truly, is too long. And, when I look back at everything that month has held, it seems even longer.

I am no longer at The Theatre. Some days, this makes me sad. Yet, I can’t say that I find myself regretting it. I do miss the work, and even the people, but things had changed and the whole experience was just draining me. It was no longer lifting my spirit as it once had. I do often wonder what exactly changed and why. But, I suppose, it is of no concern now. 

I replaced The Theatre with The Seasonal Store. I took an assistant manager position. It matches the pay I was getting before, but it is only temporary - very temporary. 

I’ve also been doing some work at The College. I’ve been working hard and getting very dirty and sore, but I’ve been enjoying it. 

Still, with “all this work” I find myself continually struggling financially.

Is struggling really the word though? It seems I am always at my last few dollars, sure. But, Just Enough seems to come in Always at the Last Moment. I can’t complain for that makes me feel blessed. Yet, it is still frustrating and defeating sometimes. 

I’ve seen The Princesses but only once in the last month. I will see them again on Saturday. I miss them so much and I do so enjoy these little escapes we steal from time to time.

In the last month there have been magicks. Quite a few. I have made mixtures, enhanced my mojo bag, and even taken a couple of mini-quests. 

My journeys find me, very often, at The Place That I Loathe So. I avoided it for so many years. Over a decade, in fact. Now, I find myself there almost every week.Things have been relatively quiet. I haven’t sensed a disturbance. Really, I wouldn’t think anything much of it had The Shaman not made reference to The Demon just a few weeks ago. 

I haven’t sensed much activity, nor have I been disturbed, except for a few moments when I could tell something was near. Of course, the quarters from which I function were sealed and protected just to be certain.

I feel cautious though. One of the mixtures made was for The Demon. Also, this week, things change at The Place and they become much more inviting to the creature. 

I suppose that is a brief enough summary of my time ‘away.’ But there is more. There are always so many stories milling about ready to be told. As I wrote in one of my Daily Posts, I feel like I could write, on and on, endlessly and still not finish. 

For instance, there is The Excursion to Jim Thorpe. I have yet to be able to sit down and look at it, let alone write about it. I took notes all along the way - Totems and Message, Experiences and Moments. I took note of the time as best I could. 

I want to go back and look at it so that I can see when and how things came to me. I want to look at it so that I can see what came to me. I want to track and gauge it all. One of the hypotheses of this experiment/project is that we always know, the information we need is always available to us - if we are open to receiving it. 

There is The Story which I promised I would tell. A promise made to more than just you, Faithful Readers. I like The Story. I think it demonstrates some very interesting things. Plus, it may have opened my eyes to certain aspects of myself. 

There has been a focus on my family lately and how I feel towards them. The question has been, “Is it anger?”

I have to say no. My feelings may express themselves through anger sometimes, but it is not anger that I feel. It’s frustration, and disgust, and disappointment, and hurt. It is all sorts of things, but it is not anger.

There have been things with the Princesses. I miss them and our moments together so very much. And, more and more, as they tell me about their lives now, I want so terribly to swoop in and save them. But, I am currently helpless and powerless. I can only pray for the best for them and their spirits. 

There have been so many little stories along the way. All of them expressions of, a testament to, Principles such as We Always Have What We Need, Ask & It is Given, Just Enough, All Things Perfectly Placed, and so many more. 

For Instance, today after the movie, while we waited to sneak in and see The Seasonal Store, The Princesses wanted to go to a particular coffee place for some liquid refreshment. I thought they wanted to go to the new one a little bit down the road. Instead, they wanted to go to the one inside the grocery store, which was just around the corner. It was so close, in fact, that we walked instead of drove. When we got there, I ran to the restroom first and told the girls to wait for me. I came back and as we were standing in line, deciding what we wanted, there were two younger girls in front of us ordering at the cashier. Now, when I say younger girls I mean the oldest was somewhere around The Princesses’ ages and her sister was younger. 

Anyway, the oldest had just finished diligently paying with gift cards when the cashier looks at her and says, “I still need a dollar sixty-two.”

“Oh,” the oldest girl said with a slightly disappointed look on her face, “well then I don’t need mine.”

“Nonsense,” I barked from behind them, already pulling two dollar bills from my wallet. The oldest tried to protest and I just kept on doing my thing. Finally, the barista, who has only met me a few times, says, “he won’t take no for an answer.”

No. I wouldn’t.

Afterwards, I found myself thinking how life delivered us there so perfectly on time. If any one part of that equation had changed, that girl may have left without her drink. We got sidetracked from The Seasonal Store. We spent longer walking there instead of driving. The restroom delay. Any one factor and that whole story would have changed for all of us. 

There are lots of stories, and, so, up comes The Book again.

Write the book. 

I’ve written The Book.

Several times over, I have written The Book. 

Still, it is not done and I have no idea where to even begin. I mean, how does one just write a book? What is the purpose of The Book? What is it’s format? Where does The Story begin - in the present, days gone by, or a time yet to be known?

Where does one write a book? I mean, all I have is my phone. 

WALT: I would bet there’s an app for that.

Yes!

But which one?

But, then, perhaps I am getting ahead of myself. Perhaps it is best just to take the Resources I do have at my disposal and use them to the best of my current ability. One of those Resources is Time. Time - it comes and it goes, like a stranger in the night. 

My Time has been off for a few months now. It has been divided up by this activity or that commitment. And, in between those things, it gets divided further, into little segments of parking lot hopping, trying not to be in one place long enough to make anyone uncomfortable.

I think now, with the Seasonal Store schedule, and The College to lean on, I will be able to manage my segments better. 

Life management, in general, needs to improve. I feel as though I have for so long now been trying to just keep my day to day affairs in order and on track that I have let longer term things start to slip and suffer. Again, as things begin to gel into place over the nest week or so, this should get back on track. 

There have been many Themes to look at over the past several weeks. Such as Appreciation. I have come to really appreciate what I have. For example, my phone and all that it does for me. It is my main multi-tasker and I would be lost without it.

But, I am also working on appreciating things that bring more challenges, such as The MattMobile. It is beat up. It has mechanical issues. It’s not really a vehicle I would have bought myself. I had two conversations about the car with random strangers last week. In those conversations I realized there are things about the MattMobile to be appreciated.

With all this focus on appreciating what I have now it makes me wonder if I stopped appreciating what I had before. 

Forgiveness is obviously a Theme. It is a complex one for me at the moment. 

I’m happy with the direction WTML is moving in lately. There is constant, steady viewer/reader-ship. The numbers aren’t high, but they are consistent. More people have been commenting. Now, I just need to get them to hit that ‘Like’ button. I like that other people are getting involved in the videos. It is an element I have always wanted to add, but it has been difficult over the years to get people comfortable with the camera.  Think it adds a whole new dimension to things, takes it all to another level. I like the energy of those videos. 

I’ve been trying to look at the whole of my situation recently. 

When I became homeless, my first effort was to just get myself balanced out and stable. Then it became about trying to torture out a residence. That still hasn’t happened. And, though I am working, the income situation hasn’t really improved either. 

I don’t really know what I am going to do. 

The Seasonal Store is temporary and it doesn’t give a phenomenal income. It is nice and it is workable, but it is not nearly enough. The thing is, I like the job. I really like the job. I like the work. The whole thing has gotten me to thinking about how the work I enjoy doesn’t really pay. And, the work that will pay I don’t seem to like. Where is the balance?

I did, over this writing hiatus, ask about going back to Geistopia. That went, pretty much, exactly as I had thought it would. I don’t want to get into it at the moment. However, work is an issue that arose during that exchange. 

“...a F/T permanent job…”

There are a few problems with the notion. First, it’s not like I haven’t tried going down that path. It just has never worked out. The places that will hire me don’t like to do F/T and even when they do the pay isn’t all that great anyway. Nothing is permanent. These are the same kinds of places where hours are almost never guaranteed. It’s just the line of work that I do - food and retail. Hours were even an issue at The Theatre. They were always based on ticket sales. 

Second, my only known alternative to what I am doing is something in a warehouse or distribution center.  The two big ones in the area pay decent enough, but they are rumored to be horrible places to work. I’m even willing to risk that. What concerns me most these days is my back. It doesn’t take much anymore for it to feel tender and sore, especially living in the car. Even little things at The College or Seasonal Store can tweak it and screw it up. How do I promise my back to a potential employer? 

And, Finally, it is out of my hands. It has been out of my hands for some time now. Let Go and Let G-d is a phrase that many of us may be familiar with. Well, that is what I have had to do. I made that decision many weeks ago, even before the exchange with Big ‘D.’ 

I have been struggling in this job/income thing for way too long. Over the past two decades I have tried any combination of full-time, part-time, temporary, seasonal, contracted jobs. I’ve found all sorts of little ways to make extra cash here and there.

WALT: No one wants to hear about your prostitution.

Hey!

I don’t charge. I’m just that good that they leave me money. 

JOHNNY: Will you two please...we were doing so good. We were focused and disciplined.

WALT: *sings.* Take me out to the BALLS park…

*stares a moment in disbelief.* Really, you had nothing else?

WALT: I didn’t want to come right out and say he was playing with his two balls again. 

JOHNNY: N..now...now can we please get back to business?

Right. So….anyway, nothing has ever made it work. Too few hours, too little pay, too much BS. Now, I realize that there is BS in every job, every situation really. But, I also believe that the level of tolerable BS is equal to the pay/benefits. So, if neither of those is really good you can imagine I don’t really take a whole lot of the other. 

I’m a hard worker. I don’t like to be still at work so I will always find something that I can do. I’m dedicated. If there is a book, I will learn it and I will do it. If you tell me this is how something is done, I will strive to make it happen that way and in the time allocated. In fact, the more I do something, the harder I strive to always do it better and faster.  I’m giving. I will give to an employer no different than to family, friends, or a complete stranger on the street. I gave to The Theatre. I gave more time, effort, and energy than they will ever really know about. I gave freely and willingly because I adored them all and I felt the jo had given me so much. So, it was easy. Then things changed and it became harder for me to give…

WALT: Not even a shit.

JOHNNY: Walter!!

WALT: Jonathan!!

Gentlemen!!

WALT: Oh, suddenly he’s the voice of reason.

I’m the only voice that matters.

WALT: That’s the problem with you Wingers. You don’t care what anyone else has to say. You only want to know things your way.

*stares again, trying not to laugh.* Feeling particularly political this morning perhaps?

WALT: Not really. I just thought we should slip some in there...cover all the bases...get it all around. A little something for every taste.

So...ummm…’Wingers’ huh? 

WALT: Well, I didn’t want to call any one side out - left, right, up, down - so I just lumped ‘em all together.

And see that’s what’s wrong with you Other-Siders. You just lump us all together in one big clump.

WALT: If the asinine behavior fits…

HEY!

WALT: ‘Other-Siders,’ huh?

Well, I thought I’d just keep it going. 

JOHNNY: P-l-ease!?!

Right!

So, anyway, the ‘Quest’ion remains - what is it I am supposed to be doing?

I mean. I partially get G-d’s plan for me. I am to just be. I am to just be, and live, and follow my feelings more than my thoughts. I am to let life guide me. Because ,when I do these things I find that eventually, without ever trying, I find myself in the right place, at the right time, to make even the slightest bit of difference. As in the case of the young girl at the coffee kiosk. 

If there is one thing I have observed about my life it is this. It happens time and time again. Even when I do not like where I am being led, it always comes to this understanding. I have story after story. It’s not something you can plan, nor manage, nor manipulate, nor control. It is something that just happens. It is something that just is. The things is, I would tell you that there is no amount of money that could ever replace that experience. 

But, still, how do I live? How do I earn enough money to have a life, a home...something more?

This is not a materialistic motivation, but, I believe, a practical one. After all, I can’t live the rest of my life in my car, scraping money together and getting by through the kindness of people.

Or, can I?

Maybe Looch is right. Maybe that is exactly the point to this whole exercise. I don’t know if I could live like that. The notion scares the hell out of me if I’m being honest. I don’t know where I’d go, or what I’d do. 

I just don’t know.

So, without hesitation…

For now and for always, from here in Geistopia this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

JOHNNY: And Johnny…

Doc: Unt me…

And, all of those guys, wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT:…and Freakishness, baby!

Please feel free to leave comments, questions, and concerns. I don’t know you are there if you don’t say, “Hi.” Also, you’re experience of WTML is just as important as mine. So, let me know what you think. Secondly, if you would like to connect, or find out more about me, you can find WTML on Facebook at WTML or Rev. Matt.

Totems:

Cardinal- Renewed Vitality through Recognizing Self-Importance

Hawk- Visionary Power and Guardianship

Eagle- Illumination of Spirit, Healing and Creation

Blue Jay- The Proper Use of Power

Rabbit- Fertility and New Life*

Cricket- Chance Taker, Abundance Emotional Evaluation, Acitvates the Inner Voice*

Grasshopper- Uncanny Leaps Forward

Dragonfly- The Power of Light*