S2; EP4 - The 2019 Chronicles: The Show of Shows

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

Welcome To My Life is a project, an experiment in Life and ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise is that life is experiential, and that you can, and do, experience the life you choose. It is based on The Wheel of Life and The ARTs for The New Millennium as life building tools.

Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co.

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

Professor Siggy Chong

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop (may they R.I.P.)

PDT

‘Blue 326’

The Original KLT

The Looch

The Baker

Bert-on

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Hoagie

Superstar

The Wix-ians

CCPA

The Kit Kat Kast

Piz-Niffer

Jersey

Dancing Queen

The Anomaly

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Baby-Mama Rabbit

And, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Monday, February 25, 2019. Time...Late.

Theme of the Week – Write the Book

Lesson of the Week – The Greatest Treasures Are Guarded by the Fiercest Beasts

Observation of the Week – A Little Negativity Goes a Long Way

There was a cabaret…and there was a master of ceremonies…it was the end of the world…and I was fast asleep…

These words are excerpts from some of the closing lines of the musical Cabaret…and exactly what my life has been for the past several weeks.

The Production has come to a close, and yes, The Production was Cabaret. It was a remarkable production actually. I thought the overall vision of the show was fantastic and powerful. The sets, costumes and lights were all awesome. And the cast, well the cast was just simply amazing - hard working and talented. You just can’t get any better than that.

It was also a remarkable experience for me. I haven’t done a large scale production in about 16 years and it’s been even longer since I’ve been on the college’s stage [Not counting Sweeney]. It was kind of like returning home. I really thought my theatre days were kind of over. I had the Sweeney thing two Novembers ago and that was fun. Then there was the train robbery last fall and that was an absolute blast. I just didn’t think I’d have it in me to go out for a large production.

Like I said, it has been a good number of years. Roles for me are getting fewer and farther between. Plus, there’s that whole dental thing which drives me crazy…and which also got worse three weeks out from this show. Nonetheless, the show must go on. This show in particular.

It was a difficult and bizarre road to this production. Back in the fall the head of the department suggested I audition and got me the materials when she could. I’ve known her a very long time and so, of course, I said yes. I went in with two parts in mind, for two different reasons. I got neither of them. I got such a damn good role though, and I was excited for the challenge. Mostly because, how I managed any role I will never know.

The nights of both the auditions and the callbacks found me in very terrible headspace. The night of the callbacks, in particular. I shouldn’t have been anywhere that night. I was a complete mess inside and out.

That was the night which fell at the end of the day that would begin the events which led to The Occurrence. I was a mess because I knew it was over. I knew where things were headed. Well, I mean…I didn’t know I was going to wind up sitting in a park with a noose around my neck. But, I did know that I was about to lose the best thing that ever walked into my life before I even had a chance to truly find it. Still, I somehow managed a callback.

Then, of course, there was The Occurrence itself. That took me off the playing board for three and a half days right when there were costume fittings and read-thrus. So fine, after I was back from my lil ‘Vacation’ I contacted the director and got that straightened out.

Next, it was background checks. Not the checks themselves so much as the fee involved. After all, my Vacation had me losing quite a bit of money at the end of December and January started oh so very slow. I didn’t know how I was going to manage this, or if I even could.

It was at this point that I was really kinda done with the whole process. There were just way too many bumps in this road and I had to question whether it was actually worth it. We hadn’t even gotten to rehearsals and already every step was like walking through a mine field – things blowing up all around me. So, I did the only thing I know to do at times like this.

I gave it up to G-d. If this challenge was taken care of I would move on with the show knowing that I was supposed to be there. If, on the other hand, it wasn’t taken care of I would move on knowing I was supposed to be somewhere else.

G-d spoke…and, the show went on.

And, I am so glad it did.

I wanted to do this show because I needed to do a show. I needed the process and the work and the experience. I needed that jolt of creation. I got it with The Production. Not just my own but that of those around me. This cast was superb. Truly. They were the perfect example of what has had me returning to the college for almost three decades. They were professionals, each and every one - dedicated, committed, devoted…and, of course, talented. Each was so very talented on his or her own and as an ensemble they were on fire. I liked being in less of the show because it allowed me to actually watch all the really good shit and it was all really good.

But, also, I needed the relationships of theatre. There is a saying, “Theatre is family.” And, it is. Adoptive, foster, and so very temporary, but family nonetheless. You have no choice but to get close. Theatre is a very intimate work. It can get so raw and so real. You are pushed and challenged. Very often you must cross lines of comfort – physically, emotionally, morally. Your walls and shields drop as you explore the life of the character. In the act of being someone else you expose yourself to those around you.

I easily came to adore the people in this cast. Perhaps fonder of some. [There was a presence in this show. Not quite a Timestopper…I don’t think. But just as curiously potent.] Still, it is done. Just as the show must go on, the cast must move on. Some are moving forward in life, never to be worked with again. Some will return to their own respective ‘communities’ and perhaps one day our paths will cross once more. And, of course, should it work out, in a year I might be able to do the show and I might get to work with whoever is left. And, who can say how many, if any, of them I will ever see again socially.

This is the curse of community theatre. It is quite perfect for my life actually. It has been a long time since I have known anything greater than a temporary attachment. It’s been a long time since I’ve been allowed to stay in one place long enough. [Not until The Theatre anyway.] I’m just so used to drifting and people being temporary, or occasional.

This time it saddens me. It truly saddens me. I would have liked to have spent more time with each and every one of them – getting to know so much more about them. Again, as individuals they each had such a light about them, but when put under the same roof it became electric. It was blinding. Beautifully blinding. [And, I miss it.]

So, here I was, so very fast asleep and dreaming…and, outside those walls my world was crumbling.

The Theatre was fine. I was just having the hardest time getting into a groove and a routine. I think I am finally finding it. A lot of it had to do with The Production and The Middle School.

The Middle School is still pressing onward but just barely. It started very strong and somewhere a thread got pulled and I have been watching it come unwoven. On Wednesday, we will make one last ditch effort to stitch it back together.

Of course, there was my return to That Place That I Loathe So. This whole thing messed me up severely. First, it made me remember Her Jenniness. [Her and her Pan’s Kiss.] In fact, while I was there I met someone who looked so much like her. Every time I would look upon this person I could only see Her Jenniness.

I found myself, more and more frequently, sitting at the park where would we go to escape and hide. I thought so many times about going to see if our cove was still there and if I could crawl inside still. Perhaps in the spring, after the thaw, I will make that journey.

But, there were greater matters at hand. The real reason I was there. The reason G-d, just like for The Production, parted the waters to make sure I was there. The Demon himself.

I couldn’t get out of my head the question, “Why?” Why now, after all these years? I mean, I’ve never really left That Place. I have checked in from time to time over the years. But, why now was it so important that I got planted there? What was the danger, the point…the lesson? [I would eventually come to realize that what we were doing was invoking The Root – both at work and at play. It was charged throughout the group. The scent would no doubt tantalize the nostrils of the creature.]

The Shaman’s interest in it all made me very uneasy. We never talked about it before. Suddenly, without provocation, he is speaking of ’The Being’ and pointing out places on the map [which, technically I still need to go and check out.] Whatever was going on, it was so important that Spirit found it necessary to validate the experience going into it. Just as it, only days before my arrival, confirmed that it was indeed an Incubus with which I was dealing.

This is particularly dangerous for someone like me. Right off the bat, I am a Root Chakra kinda guy. I like living from The Root. It can be very raw and real, but it sets a soul free. However; the baser side of The Root is a trickier thing. If left in control it will inevitably lead to bad, and very often dangerous, decisions.

On top of that I have my Empathic Curse. I easily fall prey to the energies of others. There is a whole process and routine to keep me from doing that, or at the very least shake it off when it happens. It is a lot of work. This is why I spend so much time alone. It’s why I must.

The two of these combined left me feeling very vulnerable, because for such a creature they are like blood in the water.

I was cautious at first. Perhaps, overly cautious. Eventually, I would settle into what we were doing and those shields came down quite a bit. I can’t say that too much happened. There was definitely more activity than anything I have seen in the past – three in one building. One I knew. One I understood. And, One left me curious. But, there was nothing that seemed threatening.

Except once.

One night, while we were on a break and resting, I felt it. It was a presence like none before it – large, almost omnipresent. It grabbed me by the Crown Chakra and slowly enveloped me from head to toe. I cannot even begin to describe the visualization that accompanied this. The whole thing left me feeling off sorts. And yet, I found myself more connected – and on a higher level – with people around me at the time. I never felt as though I was in danger, but it has left me very uncertain.

However…

Soon after that I would discover Lust. It was a very deep and rooted Lust, the likes of which I have not known in a long time – if ever. There were just…dirty…dirty thoughts…

WALT: Dirty, dirty thoughts?

Yes.

WALT: Really?

What?

WALT: You sound like a virgin…

Well, it’s been long enough that I could be….but that is not the point!

WALT: Oooh…those dirty, dirty thoughts….are you a dirty, dirty boy?

Will you knock it off! I’m sorry. I don’t know how else to put it. That is the safe version. If people knew the very nasty and naughty images that passed through my mind, they would boycott me. I’m tellin’ ya I would be the new poster boy for the #MeToo Movement.

WALT: It couldn’t have been that bad.

Ohnnn-ho noooo. I’m telling you…very nasty, naughty and graphic things passed through my mind. Often. Quite frankly, they have left even me a bit shocked and appalled.

WALT: But, you’d still do them…

JOHNNY: Gentlemen, please!! Reverend, try to remember your Principle of Tell the Truth without Saying Everything. Please, for the love of all that is holy do not say everything.

WALT: Maybe you could just mime it – Charades: The Porno Version!!!

JOHNNY: Walter!!

WALT: Stop calling me Walter!

Anyway…I did decided it was probably wiser NOT to pursue this, to not give in to the temptation. After all, I was on The Demon’s home turf and, just as Lust is my weakness, it is his forte. So, I managed to evade…and systematically avoid. [Mostly.]

Still, my time at That Place is not finished. I am merely on a brief hiatus. May ‘The Strength of G-d’ be with me.

The dental thing still has me quite bent. I’m always trying to fix the problem and it always fails. Meanwhile, the problem gets worse. It makes life so difficult. At least, in my head. First and foremost, it makes it almost impossible to accept certain gigs and assignments that otherwise I could. It makes it hard for me to market myself, in particularly the ministry. Image is everything after all. I don’t like to smile…and I am a smiley kinda guy. I don’t really enjoy talking to people. And, doing a stage show was a complete nightmare in my head that I didn’t have time to share with anyone, let alone myself. And, of course, dating is out. It makes ya want to question the notion, and purpose, of Faith. But, Faith does not tell us that G-d will make everything right. Instead, it shows us that everything G-d makes is right and helps us to accept whatever that may be.

It’s funny how prophecy plays out.

Long, long ago, somewhere near the beginning of our story, I was told in a reading that, “One day people won’t care what you look like. It will be what you do.”

At the time I was very eccentric and eclectic in my appearance. I wore my spiritual self on my sleeve as it were. To give you an idea – I showed up at a cousin’s wedding reception at a local fire hall. I walked in, late, dressed in full regalia – chains, pendants, staff and all. I was everything that my ‘image’ had become. My other cousin walks up to me with a huge smile on his face [he was actually glad to see me] and says, “Matt, you voodoo looking mother-fucker!!”

It’s who I was. It’s who I had always been. I was a Shaman, and, after years of repression, it was coming out of my soul, seeping through my pores and onto my flesh. So, when I heard this reading I thought, “Great! I can just be me. I don’t have to change for anyone.”

Never, at that time, would I have imagined that one day I would be rotting and decaying, broken and beaten. I rode life hard and it rode me harder…and, it shows. I cannot whine, nor complain, about my appearance. I earned every last bit of it, and, honestly, I can’t say I regret the ride. It’s just funny how prophecy plays out.

Here I am, looking and feeling my worst. And, for a brief window of time, my life was the best it has been in two decades. I was not just living. I was alive. More than that, no one shunned me the way I thought I should and would, be. Instead, everyone was very welcoming and accepting and supportive. [All the things I haven’t known in so very long.]

Of course, there was The Incident along the way. That which would mark the beginning of The Quest of a Lifetime. (Because, “To live would be an excellent adventure.”) And, an adventure it has been.

The family and I are still incommunicado. Cuddlebug told me the same thing as The Putter – If I want to go back, I only need ask. Though to it she added that I would not be invited back. As I told her and The Putter before her it just is not time for that yet. I don’t deny the possibility. The Putter has spoken of it, as has The Pillar. Even Hoagie said he thinks that is how the story ends. I just don’t know. I do know that I am quite a distance from the ending still. I know that I am working in two week timeframes and I know that my return to Geistopia does not happen in the next two weeks. In fact, I’m pretty sure that most of the next two weeks is committed to a particular project.

As for me, I am still living my vagabond life. It’s gotten a little better than it was before. I’m no longer strictly a nomad, living from the back of my car. I have a cottage, of sorts, now. It is small, but I am comfortable and cozy. On Saturday I had a friend expressing concern for my current situation. I put him at ease with, “Dude…I’m living in an f’n treehouse. This is like a childhood dream. It’s only taken me 40 years to get here but I’m living in a treehouse.”

And, it is comfortable and cozy. Hoagie came to visit last night and he couldn’t get over it. He kept asking me if I want a roommate. I have heat and a microwave for food. There is a small pantry with some food. I have a table and my laptop and desk. I have lights, including some string lights for ‘ambience.’

WALT: Oooh….Ahhhh…

Knock it off.

There’s a little shelf unit, and a dresser for my clothes and such. And, there is a bed [of sorts] on which I can lay at night. I can watch movies, listen to the radio, take care of work. I can function fully and I am not crammed in a car.

Here’s the interesting thing…the treehouse is right next door to Geistopia at The Putters’. Needless to say it has made things slightly interesting. Nothing has happened but there are random moments when we are in the driveway at the same time. No one acknowledges anyone else. And rumor has it Big ‘D’ has been seen peering out the window at my car from time to time.

How I got to this point is unimportant. It Is Never About What Happened, But What We Learned From It.

This is a Quest. It is kind of like The Quest of Quests, The Show of Shows, if you will. I have done this before. I have done this so very many times before. It’s no different than a 7 ½ week trip cross country and back, or being dropped in Phoenix, or led to Bar Harbor.

All Quests work off of the same basic Principles – whether they go on for weeks or just an afternoon.

Pay Attention. On a Quest things are always happening. Messages are always coming through. So pay attention to what you see or hear. This is where the whole concept of Theme, Lesson, and Observation comes from.

For instance, my writing has come up a lot over the past week. There have been people complimenting my writing style and some saying that I should write a book…or a blog.

WALT: I’m thinking we should market this bitch a lil better…

JOHNNY: Walter!!

WALT: Stop calling me Walter!!

Yeah…fancy that. I should write a blog. Obviously, I have dropped the ball somewhere in this plan. Anyway, so writing is important. Maybe it is time for me to take a serious crack at The Book. Imagine that, me writing a book…

WALT: A coloring book maybe.

Are your Depends on a little tight today, or what is the problem?

WALT: I’m just sayin’.

Well…don’t. So, there’s writing and I suppose I will take a look at that. There have also been quite a few totems along the way.

Tiger (White) – Passion, Power, Devotion and Sensuality (Purity, Sharing, Truth/Scattered, Overextended; Also, Spirit speaking directly)

Raven – Magic, Shapeshifting,, and Creation

Heron – Aggressive Self-Determination and Self-Reliance

Hawk – Visionary Power and Guardianship

Badger – Bold Self-Expression and Reliance – Keeper of Stories.

Bluebird – Modesty, Unassuming Confidence and Happiness

There should be one more. I can’t remember when I encountered the Snow Geese. I think it was before all of this. Still…for good measure:

Goose (again, White) – The Call of The Quest and Travels to Legendary Places

Another Principle of The Quest is to Follow the Flow. Allow yourself to be led. Follow every lead and slight inclination. I saw it in Michigan and Boulder, Colorado. This played itself out about a week ago.

We had an all-day Saturday rehearsal for The Production. I realized there was no coffee there. It just seemed wrong. I couldn’t get it out of my head. Then it hit me – I would bring coffee for everyone to the all-day Sunday rehearsal. I actually didn’t like the idea the more I thought about it. I mean, here I was living out of my car on money people gave to me to survive. How did it make sense to spend money on coffee for other people to drink? I was even given a dollar amount to cap at. I had this debate with myself all night long. Sunday morning it dawned on me that I was living on charity. And, all things considered, I was living quite well. I had had a very abundant week. It seemed to me it was time to give a little back. That was the thought that eventually had me spending the $30.

I winced and grimaced, but I followed through. The next day I would get permission for the treehouse [which has saved me an incredible amount of money in gas] and I would also receive a gift of $100[which helped buy the heater.] Is it possible that this was a clear example of Give and It Is Given Unto You; What Goes Around, Comes Around?

I would face the same thing a week later, when I would step out on another- larger and more fragile branch. Though I have not seen the same kind of retribution afterwards I also am not suffering any for it. It’s all about Keeping It Balanced.

This is one of the current struggles on this Quest. Many, and I mean many, people stepped forward at my darkest moment with charity and support. Honestly, it was almost too much. Well, in reality, it was Just Enough. It helped to get me through to now. And, now, I am on the cusp of a paycheck. It’s not much. [They never really are.] But, it is something and it will do what it does. Along the way, I will continue to look for whatever opportunities I can find. The challenge is, as I have been trying to put across to my friends, that it can’t all continue as charity.

Last weekend, I had a friend try to give me a gift card saying he had to do something as my friend and my brother. It was very hard for me to accept and I told him that I wished he wouldn’t just give me money. He then told me to consider it payment for many years of watching out for him spiritually. That I could do. Then I could accept it. Likewise, Hoagie wishes to do something for me. He has opted to get a Tarot Reading. [Though I’m giving him a discount because he’s poor and shouldn’t be giving money at all.]

It is what I have been trying to get across to people on Facebook. There are so many things I can do. I understand they are not for everyone but I am told I am good with Tarot and Reiki. Actually, I had someone contact me about a wedding ceremony next year. I am willing to work for my money. Again, as I said on FB – Just give me 5 bucks and have me take your trash out. [No job too small, I suppose…did I mention I can do replacement windows?] I also had someone contact me about tasks and some construction type jobs. I am waiting to hear back from her. I have had two different gentlemen offer me brake rotors for scrapping.

It’s what makes this Quest all so bizarre. It is a Quest. As such it runs by all the rules of a Quest. It’s just I have never been called to a Quest in my own backyard. Quite literally at that. It’s different being on home turf. It has its own set of challenges and rewards.

I still have places to be and things to do. Life goes on. I have The Theatre and The Middle School. There are friends and other commitments. Hell, I still have my taxes to do. Life goes on. Situation normal…

…all fucked up. SNAFU. I have to do this without my usual things. Showers are few and far between. Meals are a little trickier. I’m living out of a treehouse. Even the bathroom is an issue. Not to mention, I don’t have my printer or so many other things.

Plus, I am all trying to Follow the Flow, so I am being dragged all sorts of hither and yon.

On the other hand, I have work. So, I have income. This is definitely new. I mean, the last Quest – The Re-Discovery Tour – I did have random income from some DVD and CD sales. But that was sporadic and usually quite minimal.

I have friends close by. I do know that, in desperation, I do not have to go without. [And, I think they know, it will take desperation.] So, though showers are few and far between, they are available. I had 2 showers on The Re-discovery tour. One in Marshal, MI through a new friend and one in Flagstaff, AZ at some Goodwill/Salvation Army something or other. Every other day I washed from a basin in the back of the van. I suppose I could make that work here. I just need a bowl and some more towels lol.

But, it is a Quest like any other Quest.

The first purpose of a Quest is to reconnect to Spirit – that…something that flows between everything. I think I have done this. At least somewhat. There has been so much Divinity involved – making little appearances here and there.

On February 15th at 1944 I made a Facebook post. It stated that I needed a necklace – a pendant, token or talisman of some sort. It was to commemorate the Quest. The post finished with simply, “It will come.” I try to explain to people that so very often my posts are simply markers in time. I use them as reference points to go back and validate and verify my experience. So much happens in any one day – so many visions and messages and energies. Sometimes…very often…I lose track of things. So, these are my little breadcrumbs to find my way back.

On Sunday, February 24th at approximately 2115 I would receive that necklace. I was meeting with the cast for some celebration of a job well done (very well done) and one of the actresses had a gift for me. There was my pendant. I had to show people the post to get them to believe me. One guy said, “That’s fucking weird.”

I just chuckled and said, “Dude, that’s my fucking life…every day.”

Some suggested that she had seen the post and decided to get it. Maybe. She says not. Perhaps. I say, it doesn’t matter. In either case, she was the vessel by which it would be delivered – to do what needed to be done. One way is just more fascinating. The other more believable. Neither is more potent, nor more significant.

The pendant was Amozonite.

Amazonite assists in communicating one’s true thoughts and feelings without over-emotionalism. It also enables one to see a problem from another’s point of view in order to affect peace, or to see both sides of an issue objectively to resolve one’s own inner conflicts. Sleeping with an Amazonite can bring these components into focus through the symbolism of dreams. [Simmons, 22][Hall, 50]

As a support stone, Amazonite aids in overcoming loneliness, and has been credited with making married life happier. [Mella, 137][www.gemselect.com]

Amazonite is a Barrier Filter crystal that blocks geopathic stress, absorbs microwaves and cell phone emanations, and protects against electromagnetic pollution. Place it near computers and other electronics, or tape to your cell phone. [Hall, 50]

In the workplace, Amazonite dispels negative energy and aggravation, and protects against unfair business practices and others taking advantage. A stone of prosperity, Amazonite attracts new customers and orders to a business, and assists one in being in the right place at the right time for new opportunities. [Melody, 106][Hall, 50][Eason, 41, 286]

**from Crystal Vaults dot com

The second purpose to a Quest is to reconnect with The Self. This has been a particularly interesting journey and it is far from over.

My absolute first Observation is that, when looking at me, the rest of the world sees something very different than I do. I don’t know what it is they see exactly. I don’t understand it. But, I know it is different than what I see.

I wouldn’t know how to describe what I see. The best description I ever got was not necessarily a compliment. I’m just a guy…dopin’ along. I am The Fool, constantly tripping over his own feet.

I try to be a decent guy. I try to be…I’m not always. I make mistakes and errors in judgment. But I try to be decent and kind and supportive. I try to be giving and compassionate and understanding. Sometimes I’m a lil too stingy. [Sometimes I’m a little too giving.] And, I can be quite judgmental and opinionated at times.

I have a temper. It usually takes a lot to set it off. This is good because it is a bad temper and I can be quite mean…and an asshole. This is actually quite rare though. If there is an incident I tend to apologize. The Princesses can tell you first hand. If we have a fight or argument I will inevitably apologize and we will talk our way through it. The whole thing ends with a hug and a kiss [always required.] After that, it is over. We talk and it is done. Resolved and no need to bring it up again.

I try to work hard and be dedicated to what I am doing. However, I certainly don’t want to do more work than is necessary.

I don’t really know what to say. Truth is, I don’t really like thinking about myself.

The third purpose is to reconnect with the world. I did this in part with The Production. [Which also had me looking at what my passions are in life.] It was nice to meet new people and touch base with familiar faces.

Reconnecting with my family will be a whole other matter. We don’t relate on any level. And, it is a subject I currently have no definitive feeling for.

And, Last, but never ever the least, there is That Which Cannot Be Written.

It cannot be written, but, still, it must be lived, experienced and remembered every single day. Again, it makes one wonder if it is not a cruel G-d whom we serve. I cannot write it, nor can I speak it, nor should I really ever mention that I gave it a thought. It is to be dismissed, erased, forgotten.

Still, there it is, before me...every…single…day.

Even when it is not staring me in the face, I cannot escape it. I go away, I find other things with which to try and distract myself. I try so damned hard to forget and erase. Inevitably, though, every moment, every thought…every song brings me back there. Except, There doesn’t exist. It is but a dream, a memory…an illusion. There is not real.

And, I am trapped There.

It’s my own fault. I knew the deal I was making. I still remember the night. The circle had been cast and the Spirit spoke. The Jinn, trying to lure me into the depths of greed and gluttony. Poisoning my thoughts with the delusion of possible satisfaction.

“What is it you truly wish for?”

I stumbled with my response. “I…I wish…”

“Careful,” he whispered. Then I heard him in my thoughts. “You just might get it.”

“I…I…I wish…”

Again, he cautioned, “Choose your words carefully.” And, again, he echoed in my mind. “For every act of magic comes with a price.”

I knew this. And, I knew the price I would pay, for I had seen it almost as instantly as he spoke it. There was a steep price, because there was only wish I could make. I mean, I could have wished for her love. But that wasn’t what I wanted above all else. Certainly not like this. If I were going to wish for anything at all…

“I…I wish for her happiness.”

“And, so it is done.”

And, so it was. It seems she has found it. I am glad of that. Truly. But, I do not get to share in it. Nor encourage it. Nor support it. I do not even know what it is that has her shining just a little brighter these days. I cannot know. I cannot ask. I cannot smile or say hello.

I miss her voice, but I cannot hear it.

I miss her smile, but I may not see it.

I could not even wish a Happy Birthday. Promises Made; Promises Kept.

Eyes down. Mouth shut.

And, still, she is there forever.

I’m not sure how much more I can take really. I want to get away, so very far away, from it. But to get away requires me to break a contract…and I always honour my contracts.

*sigh*

So, without hesitation…

For now and for always, from here in Geistopia this is your beloved Rev

Walt: And Walt!

And, Walt, wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

Walt:…and Freakishness, baby!

Please feel free to leave comments, questions, and concerns. I don’t know you are there if you don’t say, “Hi.” Also, you’re experience of WTML is just as important as mine. So, let me know what you think. Secondly, if you would like to connect, or find out more about me, you can find WTML on Facebook @TheNewWTML or myself at @rev.mgeist.

[Turtle then appeared along the way – Motherhood, Longevity, Awakening to Opportunities]

[Also, Spider(dead) – Creativity and Weaving of Fate (Reversed)]