S2:EP9 -The 2019 Chronicles: Paradise by the Dashboard Lights [or, My Life is a Testament.]

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Yeah, it’s true.

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co.

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop (may they R.I.P.)

PDT

‘Blue 326’

The Original KLT

The Looch

The Baker

Bert-on

Andy Pandy

The Bassett Hound

The Mudder

Hoagie, aka Snowflake

Danny Boy

The Wix-ians

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

The Anomaly

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Baby-Mama Rabbit

My Belle

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Monday, June 10, 2019. Time...Returning.

Theme of the Week – if You Make It About the Money You Are Missing the Point

Lesson of the Week – Just Listen

Observation of the Week – My Life No Longer Affords Me the Luxury of Giving a Shit

It has been very challenging to write. I suppose that’s obvious, considering there hasn’t been a post in two months.

WALT: Has it been that long? I hadn’t noticed.

Yeah, but you’re on like permanent time warp anyway.

DOC: *sings* Let’s do ze time warp again…

What is it with you and singing?

DOC: Eet lifts ze spirit.

Oh good lord. It is way too early in the morning for this.

JOHNNY: Uh, Reverend, you are definitely on a deadline here.

Well, then get Dee and Dum there under control. Mind your shop, Johnny. Mind your shop.

WALT: I was going for more of a Cheech and Chong kinda thing, right Doc?

DOC: Hmmm? I’m sorry I vas humming to myself. Vhat’s happening?

It’s not me. It’s the voices in my head that are crazy.

So, anyway, yes, it has been very difficult to sit down and write. Time had been a factor. One would think that living out of a car there would be ample free time. This has not been the case. And, when there has been time, I have usually spent it breathing deep and thinking, “Wtf?”

I started the same post four times on the laptop before it died. Since then, I have put google docs on my phone and have been trying again. This is my third attempt.

WALT: Well, you know what they say...Seventh time’s a charm.

I’m pretty sure that’s not how it goes.

DOC: Sird. It’s, “Sird time’s a charm.”

WALT: Doc, why do ya always gotta be so smart?

DOC: Ooh, Get Smart zat vas such a good show.

WALT: Nevermind.

He’s like a child...or a puppy. He just scampers all over the place.

WALT: Hey, man, it’s your head.

I know. I just can’t believe there’s that much room to move around.

WALT: That much room? It’s empty in here...here...here…

Do not do echo sounds in my head!!

WALT: Hello...ohhh...ohhhh….

JOHNNY: Gentlemen!

Right.

The other problem has been that life has been happening fast and hard. Again, you wouldn’t think that living in a car, but it’s true. For weeks, months even, my days have been hectic and chaotic. There has not been a single day that has gone as I had hoped, planned, plotted, or coursed. Each seems to have brought with it a need to be pushing to get things done (or collapsing from exhaustion.) Still, at the end, each day has been perfect, bringing precisely what has been needed. And sometimes more.

So, I not only have so much to touch base and catch you up on - such as The Middle School, The Theatre, My Life- but I also have so many new things to tell you. It seems as though everyday is its own adventure. So, I find myself unable to decide where to start and what to write about.

DOC: *sings* Let’s start at ze wery beginning. A wery good place to start…

Seriously, dude...I...I don’t know what’s goin’ on wit you but the jukebox gotta go.

DOC: *sings* Hit ze road Chack unt don’t you come back no more, no more, no mmmmmmph

WALT: Gapher’s tape solves everything.

*soft announcer’s voice*  and, Walter scores bonus points today for the use of a well placed ‘techie joke.’

WALT: Did you just…

I did.

WALT: *groans* mmmmmmmmm

*a la Lurch* Youuuuuuu raaaaannnnng

JOHNNY: Gen...tle...men…

Right!

You do realize that only like two people in the audience are going to know what Gapher’s tape is and how many lives it’s saved.

WALT: But, those who get it are really gonna get it.

DOC: mmm-mmmph. Mmmmmph. Mmph. *WALT removes tape. DOC sings.* Never gonna get it...ne-ver gonna get it. Gonna...mmmmph mmmph

Tape him back up?

WALT: Darn tootin’.

*sings* Tootie-Fruttie, oh Rudy…

WALT: Don’t you start.

It’s actually kinda fun.

WALT: How is it that I’m the same one in the bunch?

*sings* Womp-babaloo bomp a womp bam boom

JOHNNY: Oh, good lord! What is wrong with you people??

*sings* If lovin’ you is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

I don’t wanna be right, Johnny. I don’t wanna be right. Gimme that McLovin’.

WALT: Will you do something about this?

JOHNNY: You started it.

WALT: I couldn’t help it. He’s just so...special. It’s fun to wind him up and see him be...well...himself.

My mom says I’m special.

WALT: I’m pretty sure that’s not the word your mother uses to describe you.

Fair enough.

So, again, I just really don’t know where to start. So much has happened - so many stories, so many moments, so many Observations.

The Middle School happened. It happened in true theatre fashion with everything coming together right at the very last minute. [including the pay, which still hasn’t come.] There are a lot of stories I could tell just with that.

In the end, I was amazed at the power and energy behind it all. The last two weeks [at least] of that production were a constant stream of plans changing and things shifting but still coming together at just the right moment.

There’s actually been a lot of that lately. It seems no matter how or what I try things do eventually work out, but in their own way and their own time.

Three weeks out from the performance we were still trying to make sure we had a cast that we could actually work with. At the start of the last week we still had four numbers to choreograph and a scene to block. Not to mention scenery to finish. The night before the show there was still painting to be done and the rehearsal was an absolute mess.

Still, all along the way, things just kept rolling into place. It took so long for the scenery because I was waiting on money and a way to move wood. That all came at the last moment, but also just in time.

The morning of the show, my cast surprised me. The 6th graders all took their first three classes off. They did this on their own and with no prompting from me. They came to the auditorium and painted and cleaned up and organized and rehearsed.

Eventually, the 8th graders came down and did the same. They all even asked to go over the choreography learned the night before.

It just all took me by surprise and I found it uplifting and inspiring. They really came together as a cast and as a production company. It was theatre as theatre always is and come showtime it worked.

They put on a performance like I can’t even describe. There were mistakes and problems but they got through them beautifully and like professionals. The reviews were good. All faculty and staff present were very pleased with the end result. The woman working the sound and lights even commented, “I don’t know where you got those kids cause that was not the same cast I saw rehearse last night.”

No. No it was not.

They grew and it was beautiful.

I auditioned for a summer theatre show. I was cast in the show...or rather I received an email saying he’d like to cast me. It was a difficult thing because the schedule was different than I had originally thought and it took me quite some time to try to work something out with The Theatre.

I did finally send an acceptance email. Now, I don’t know if he didn’t get the email, or if he read it wrong. Or, maybe he just got tired of waiting. I’m not really sure. But, when they released the official cast list, it was not my name in the role. I even triple checked it because I wasn’t sure what happened.

All current things taken into consideration, I suppose it is for the best.

During my absence, I also did two performances for The Theatre. I so wanted to be on their stage and work with them because I always so appreciate the work I see. Now, this was just a situation where I was filling in for someone those two performances.

So, the whole experience was a little different.

First, he took priority in rehearsals. As he should have. But, also, that was right at the end of The Middle School. I was in and out of rehearsals. As well as trying to get things done for my actual job at The Theatre when I was there.

Those two weeks were absolutely insane for me. I was in and out of The Theatre all day long and spending time at the School in between. In fact I was still doing The Middle School when I did those two performances. It all happened in the same week.

Those were three very crazy and chaotic weeks for me. I don’t think that, even in my sleep, I ever stopped going, trying to work it all out and keep up.

In the end, I had two rehearsals for this show. That and all things considered, my performance was almost acceptable. I wasn’t happy with it at all. Now,

I got reassurance from a couple of my cast mates. Both reminding me that I really only rehearsed the show twice. One going as far as to say, “I couldn’t have done it.”

Still, I wasn’t happy with it. It suffices and it got the job done. But, it was far from my best work. And, I suspect that The Theatre may feel the same way.

There has been a shift in attitudes and energies.

I noticed it, first, with the Lil Boss. She became distant and disconnected. I let her go with that figuring it would pass. However, it has festered and grown. More and more lately she seems to have problems with me or things I do. She has slowly gotten snippier and snappier. Again, I have been letting it go. I figured it wasn’t really my problem until such a time she decided she could tell me what’s wrong.  

Over the past couple weeks I’ve caught pieces of some very interesting conversations. I’m trying to just make note of them and not read into anything.

Then, recently, the Big Boss has become different with me. Still polite. Still engaging and sometimes helpful. But, definitely different.

All I can really do is let it play out in its own way and time. Whatever is going on will either make the association stronger...or bring it to a screeching halt.

C’est la vie.

There is more to The Theatre story but we need to touch on a few other things first.

I met someone.

Yup. I put that separately so that you can look at it and think on it.

I met someone. I don’t know how much more I want to say on this at the moment. It’s good and I like it. It’s been good for me [in so many ways.]

It does come with its complications. Why shouldn’t it? It’s my life. What fun would it be if I didn’t have to work through it or for it?

But, it’s good and I like it. For whatever reason, I find myself driven to be completely open, honest, and vulnerable with her. I can’t help myself.

Thusly, she knows me well. She know me better than any other living human being. She knows more of my stories, more of my thoughts and feelings. She knows more of where I’ve been and just what I’ve been through to get to today. She knows my weaknesses and my insecurities [and has dealt with both on numerous occasions.]

And...still...she is here.

So, I’m thinking maybe I try not to ‘F’ this up.

As you may recall, I have been homeless since February 8th.

WALT: Recall? It’s kinda hard to forget. That back seat isn’t exactly comfortable.

DOC: Especially viss four of us back zare.

Excuse me. Three of you take up nothing but head space, so I don’t think you get to gripe. Bitches. Every one of ‘em. A bunch of bitches.

JOHNNY: Uhh, Reverend…

Ugh...and here comes The Queen. Yes, yes, I know. I have to be nicer, watch the words, and...we’re on a schedule.

JOHNNY: That’s right, Reverend, discipline and focus.

WALT: Watch out. He’s whipping out his two balls again.

JOHNNY: Walter.

*pause.*

See. It’s much easier when you just ignore it, dude.

WALT: I’m not ignoring it. I’m plotting revenge.

It’s just a name, dude. Just a name.

Ok. So, let’s just review.

For about a week and a half I stayed in my car. After that, until May 12th, I was living in The TreeHut. And, now, for almost a month, I am back in my car.

I got here through an Incident with Big ‘D’ and Craze. It was just another simple moment turned into something bigger. I’m not even certain what...the ‘F’ happened. I just know that they were both yelling at me something about me being wrong or out of line or something. I know I was trying to make my lunch and coffee for a long day. I know I was just trying to make the same point over and over again because it wasn’t being heard through all the crazy. I know I was told twice to shut up [though, I said it once myself.] I know that I was basically told that I would have nothing and be nothing if it weren’t for them. And, I know I was grabbed a hold of...and then threatened with prison when I removed that hand from my arm.

I know they kept telling me it was their house. So, eventually I said, “Well, then I’ll leave and not come back.”

And that is precisely what I did.

Other than to go through stuff and save things to The Cave, I have not been back. I don’t even drive on their side of the driveway when I go to visit The Putters.

It most certainly has gotten that ridiculous. Yes.

At this point there is little chance of any kind of reconciliation with Big ‘D’ and, more than anything else, that is simply because there is no chance of Boom-Dee-Ay and me getting along.

Through the course of this, my entire family has truly shown me who they are as people. Each and every one of them. There has just been a host of examples. I don’t really want to get into them, but at the same time I think some of them are important.

most direct communication has ceased. If there is any it tends to be through email. Otherwise, messages and mail are delivered to the neighbors. Now I don’t so much mind this. What bothers me is that the communications are not always two way. I don’t get responses.

The immediate response of my family to The Incident was to make sure people knew that my mother was perfectly calm the whole time and I was completely out of control. This is far from the truth.

My mother, involving herself in a situation she had no business in nor did she understand, told my daughter that I am forcing her to do Rainbow. That was bad enough. She then went and told the neighbor the same thing. The neighbor then lectured me on how wrong I was. Now, Sunshine and I had a very in-depth discussion about this. It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to quit. I didn’t like the way she wanted to go about it. I also wanted her to try to overcome the challenges before she just gave up. I felt, as her father, I wouldn’t be doing her any favors if I taught her that when things get tough - just quit. I didn’t think that was a good life lesson. I guess I was wrong.

They destroyed my gardens. Their gardens. All of that work, all of that magic, completely raped and destroyed. It was all one of a kind and can never be duplicated. They ripped out every plant. Gave away every stone. The hand build fire pit. The stone steps that the princesses put in. The wall with hand-picked, and oft-times chiseled, stones. They will say it is because they don’t want to take care of the gardens. Except, they only took out what I put in. There are still beds along the house. There are still the flowers my dad planted years ago. It just seems to me more of a way to eliminate my presence and demonstrate that I was unimportant and unappreciated all along. This whole thing was driven by my sister.

My mother (and my ex) both made it difficult for the girls to see me while I was living in the TreeHut and could actually spend some time with them.

It has been moment after moment. It’s not that they’ve been completely horrible. They’re not terrible monsters. They never pulled the electric from the TreeHut. They could have done that but they didn’t. However, when discovered [one week before I left the TreeHut] they did pull the Wi-Fi extender. That created a whole other issue with the data plan that still hasn’t been properly addressed. But, for now, we’re moving on. I also lost quite a few garbage cans along the way.

There was even a situation where Boom-Dee-Ay took a bag of my cans for recycling. The girls and I, on our last Sunday spent together, had pulled stuff for me to scrap that week. With it was a bag of beer and soda cans. The stuff all came from the big pile. The very pile I was told I could go through before they got rid of it all.

So, anyway, I come back on Monday evening to load the car and the metal had all been moved back to the pile and the bag of cans was missing. Apparently they were cleaning up for the lawn mowers to come the next day.

That’s fair enough. But, why did you take the cans instead of leave them with the pile? So, not only did she take the cans but she refused to even think about getting them for me until garbage night, three days later. Even then, I had to ask twice.

Unnecessary fuckery!!!

JOHNNY: You know, Reverend, I think I’m going to let that one go.

As you should. It just describes so much of the world these days. Unnecessary Fuckery!!

So, Boom-Dee-Ay has made it clear where I stand in her world. And, it’s fine. I don’t need her to like me. It’s the blatant disrespect that bothers me. I mean, have at it. Get rid of my stuff. Destroy my work. Do what ya gotta do. But why ya gotta fuck with me?

Especially, considering I haven’t bothered no one. I left and I haven’t really looked back. I moved on and life is what it is.

*shrugs.* Oh well.

Here’s the thing. Life seems better. Imagine that. I’m living in my car, with nothing left of my existence except what is in the car with me, and life seems better than all those years in that house.

I’m happier. I am just so truly content right now. I haven’t known such peace, such Zen, in such a very long time. I still have My stressors and shit that pisses me off, but all in all, I am pretty damn happy.

I’m healthier. I had to get a physical for the school district Human Resources. This was the first time in I don’t know how many years that no one batted an eye at my blood pressure numbers. I even asked about it, because usually there is all sorts of concern, sometimes even panic. The doc just shrugged it off, “it’s fine.”

Yeah. I’m not taking my blood pressure medicine either.

I’m seeing more of my friends. There has been ample social time. Good, healthy moments.

I have been able to do more for my friends.

I have been abundant.

That’s the one that boggles the mind really. But, I have. I have been abundant.

“Every day, The Father feeds the beasts of the wild and clothes the flowers of the field. What makes you think you are any less than these?”

Every day I have clothes on my back and a stockpile to choose from in the trunk. Every day, I eat and I eat good. Now, it’s not always good eats. But, I haven’t been hungry yet. That is The Divine Promise. That is all that is promised here. We’re not even promised shelter in this. I have shelter, so I figure I’m a leg up in this.

“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow shall take care of itself.”

So, we’ve been told that we shall never not go naked and we shall never go hungry. And, now, we’ve been instructed to not worry about things ahead of ourselves. They, like everything behind us, shall work themselves out.

Psalm 23 gives us a little more to sink our teeth into.

“The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want...he restoreth my soul...I will fear no evil for you are with me...my cup runneth over...surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the rest of my days…”

The Universe provides. All it asks is that we take the time to listen to it, to let it guide us.

I have one more quote and then I want to tell you about the last two weeks.

“One cannot serve Mammon and G-d at the same time.”

And now, The Last Two Weeks.

WALT: I feel like there should be some sort of sound effect, or music, or...or...oooh...we could have like a trippy warping out effect.

You’re missing The Studio, aren’t ya brother.

WALT: You have no idea.

Alright. Well you do something. Get it outta your system. Feed The Beast, man. Feed The Beast. Ready? Here we go…

And, now...The Last Two Weeks

WALT: *imitates a trumpeter, Then drum rolls on the desk. He jumps to his feet for an impromptu air guitar solo, complete with sounds. Then impersonates some Video game noises and sits.*

*blank stare*

Wh...what…

WALT: If you’re gonna go, go big.

Or, go crazy.

So...The Last Two weeks.

Even before The Middle School ended, my life had become extremely chaotic. Not a single day ever went the way I had planned. Yet, in the end, each day was perfect. It is this realization that allows The Last Two Weeks to happen, and to find me sitting on the other side of it quite content.

Now, what you should know going into this story is that I am still waiting on the pay from The Middle School. There were complications, many which shifted quite a few of my days along the way.

Being close to the end of the month, it was time to get my car inspected. I was holding off because I was in pursuit of an RV. I even tried GoFundMe, but to no avail. I was only able to raise 10% (interesting number) of the total needed before he was able to sell it. So anyway, I make arrangements for the mechanic, right up at the very last minute, in the hopes that the check would come.

In the meantime, I would receive The Call. It was time to make a Journey. I knew it was coming. I could feel it. I was getting twitchy. I needed to get out of The Valley and clear my head.

Soon, I would be told where. Wisconsin. I would even be told why this time. [Mostly.] What I didn’t know was when. I only knew that when it was time then it was time.

I tried very hard, perhaps even too hard, to make it happen during the break between shows at The Theatre. I finally accepted that it wasn’t going to happen. Still, I knew it was going to happen, that it had to happen. I found myself fearing that it wouldn’t last until the next break, six weeks away. It didn’t.

When I realized what was happening and the position I was going to find myself in, I discussed it with The Big Boss one night. I told him there was a trip to make. I said that I was trying to make it happen before the break ended but so far it was to no avail. I expressed my concern that it wouldn’t wait until the next break. [He then reminded me that this is the oddball run and the next big break isn’t until August. So, no, it would have not waited until then.] I then told him that when it was time to go, I had to go.

He simply said, “Ok. Understood.”

It was less than a week that The Call came. It was time to go. I could fit it in mostly over the break in the work week. But Wednesday would be a problem.

I was told I wouldn’t be back by Wednesday, but when I looked at the schedule and saw the size of the house for that day I refused to accept that.

Despite The Call coming in, and knowing I had to follow, I found myself concerned about being able to afford the trip in gas alone. It would completely drain me. The very next morning, The Professor offered me his car to use. Which, by the way, got me 30 miles to the gallon. [But still kinda drained me.]

Well, I sighed and shrugged, because my one true concern had just now been alleviated. It was time to go. Period.

I went into The Theatre that night and got both bosses when they were working near each other. I told them of a couple of dates coming up that I might need off. There was the Princesses Dance Recital and The Broadway Trip from The Gala. I said neither was critical, but that I’d like to see what could be done. The dance recital I resolved by going to the dress rehearsal. [Though that didn’t keep me from missing work that night.] The Broadway Trip I decided this morning that I’m going. Because it’s just the right thing to do.

Anyway, I then told them that I would be late Thursday morning because I needed to get the car inspected and, obviously, I can’t just leave it there. I wanted to do it on Friday, because I figured it wouldn’t interfere with work. But, for the mechanic it was going to work out better on Thursday with the consideration that it had to get done.

Then I reminded The Big Boss of our conversation, and said, “It’s time to go.” I told them that I was leaving Sunday at 5 and I was planning on being back by noon on Wednesday.

So, I left on schedule. I barreled through and made it Wisconsin in pretty good time, if I say so myself. It was my Journey down The Rabbit Hole. Three days, in and of itself raises an eyebrow or both. Three is generally the number for time in The Underworld - 3 Days, 3

Weeks, 3 Months...3 Minutes. [Its been known to happen.]

I was accompanied by The Daemon, who made his presence known, on more than one occasion. As did a list of Totems along the way.

What waited in Wisconsin will wait a little longer. A day of rest and restoration to make The Hatter stronger. ‘Tis a tale of tenderness - tattered, torn, but true. A story of stillness to change the point of view.

What it was is neither here nor there at the moment. For now it shall remain My Oasis, My Great Escape. What it holds I do not know. I do know, however, that I am so very driven to find out. Even more so when I try to resist.

But, the trip was what it was all the way up to the end. My journey home was not an easy one and I would not return to The Valley until almost 8:30 Wednesday night. Obviously, I did not make it to work. It all starts with hitting the most northern point of the Greater Chicago Area at 5:00 on the dot Tuesday evening.

It took me two and a half hours to get to the other end and free. By then I was ready to rest, which I knew I would be long before the traffic. I let the bosses know that I was not off to a great start but that I would keep them posted.

I took my rest and headed out. For most of the night

I only seemed able to make it about an hour and a half before I needed to pull over. I was just wiped. On one of those stops I awoke into a thunderstorm. I then had to sit it out because the rain was just to heavy to drive in.

I even sat through a friggin’ tornado. [Not my first by the way.]

The moral of the story, for me, thus far, is Just Listen.

I didn’t make it back to work, just as I was told I wouldn’t. Just as I didn’t want to accept. If I had accepted it, I would have had a much different drive home. It would have been paced and planned differently. I most likely would have avoided every one of those obstacles. I would have had a calmer, and quite possibly, more abundant return to The Valley.

Needless to say, I needed to do some sucking up to the bosses the next day when I arrived late and still didn’t have the work on my car done. I told them it was my fault for not just listening in the first place. How they took to that and how much they believe it I do not know. Nor do I really care. For it was not the only time this Lesson would be made known to me.

You see, I returned to work on Thursday, but the car was not done and needed to go in on Friday. There was a miscommunication. I took a moment on the Journey home to call the garage and verify the time. I thought it was 9:30 but I wanted to be certain. The woman told me it was at 10.

I arrived at 9:50 only to have my mechanic tell me I was late. He had me in for 9:30. He first wanted me to come back at 1:00 but I needed to be at work. So, Friday it was.

I saw the delay as a blessing. You see, the trip did drain me quite a bit financially. In fact, completely...and then some...and...the school district check had not come.

Now, in my effort to GoFund the RV I raised $205 out of $2500 needed. [in hindsight, the RV would have eliminated the possibility of Wisconsin...and Wisconsin was too important.] I didn’t get the RV, but that $205 was exactly what the garage bill would be. So it helped. But there were many more charges out there that would clear on Monday morning. Or, try to anyway.

I figured with the delay in the garage bill that I could play the system the way I have so many times before. Almost every pay period really.

I charge everything on my Paypal card because I get 1% cash back. So...why not, right? Anyway, it then takes a day or two to post to my actual bank account. Except on weekends. Everything from Friday to Sunday accumulates and hits over Monday and Tuesday mornings.

So, I figured this gave me the chance to swipe the PayPal card and buy myself [or the check] some time. Only, I couldn’t use the card. It kept getting declined. I had used the card so much on the way up to Wisconsin and back again that it was flagged. I had it declined for gas a couple of times on the way home. I had no choice but to use my regular bank card and it was all going to come out at once. This left me with just over $6 in the account to last me the weekend and buffer the list of uncountable charges pending in just a few days.

Not only did the garage throw me into a panic financially, but it screwed up my whole day. A project that was going to be done the morning before at 9:30 to get me to work ended up taking 4 hours. I mean thank G-d it wasn’t Thursday morning because that would have made me super late to work as opposed to a half hour. Still, I was not prepared in anyway for four hours.

My whole day was screwed up, work included. I mean I got there in Just Enough time to get Just Enough done. But, there was so much to the plan for the day.

Along the way I had to stop at The Shaman’s. And, I mean I had to. I was struggling. I Followed the Lead, and, though the adventure was well worth the struggle and then some, it seemed that everything was collapsing in on me. I had three days to get it figured out.

On the rest of the way in to The Theatre I had the onset of a complete breakdown that I subsequently swallowed back into place. I looked at everything that had happened over the past several weeks, I looked at what was happening right then. I thought about the presence of The Daemon, and then it hit me. I was being tested. G-d had right up until the very last moment to set the world right. Did I trust him to do it?

It was a Test of Faith. (Faith is, after all, the Lesson of The Journey.)

I swallowed that breakdown but it left me in quite an altered state for the rest of the night. I got to The Theatre and just set into work. I stayed focused on it. I needed it to anchor me so that I could detach from it all and clear the head, heart, and spirit so that I could be led to the answers.

The sour air and energy at The Theatre that I had mentioned previously, by this point, had become much more potent. In my withdrawn state on Friday I began to worry for my job.

I struggled through Friday night, knowing something would be different come Saturday morning. For weeks, that was how it had been and what I had come to know.

No matter how today would end, it would end perfectly and tomorrow would inevitably take care of itself.

So I got through Friday. On Saturday I thought maybe the lottery. A number came up to play and I thought, “Sure, why not? Maybe a couple hundred bucks.”

I also held my breath for the check that would never come.

I got a chance to speak with the Big Boss in the parking lot that day and he assured me everything was fine.

I got my ticket but as the night crept on, I found myself less and less comfortable with the uncertainty of it all. I needed to do something. (G-d Helps Those Who Help Themselves.) I wasn’t going to ask for help. I got into this mess following a hunch of Faith and not even G-d was going to lower me to begging for help to clean it up. I’m so tired of needing charity. Which might be why just two days earlier my ‘message from G-d’ through AllDevotion.com was that I needed to be as willing to receive as I am to give.

Still, I wasn’t asking for help.

So, I took a deep breath and went to Facebook. I put my car, and everything in it, up for sale for $250. I figured that would cover any charges pending and maybe leave me a little play room until I could get things straightened out.

I realize it seems a drastic measure, but I was not asking for help and it was all I had left to work with/offer.

The whole thing is a test of Faith, right? So, what will be, will be.

Here’s what I have learned about Faith over the years - Faith does not guarantee us that everything will be perfect as we want it, but instead promises us that everything is perfect as we need it. Faith tells us that everything that happens - the good, the bad, the indifferent - all happen according to Divine Will as set forth at The Creation.

So, if this was the course of things, let it be. I would

rather be able to eat and take care of life then have a place to rest my head and face the potential problem around the corner. If this was G-d’s plan I could accept it.

I had a few people contact me about helping out. One has already done much for me and I didn’t want any more debt there quite yet. Another wanted to pay the money and we worked out a Spiritual Services deal. I’ve done this sort of thing before, and honestly think that it should just work like this.

Someone donates money or goods to me, however that person is moved to do. In turn, that person receives open availability to Reiki, tarot readings, general spiritual counsel.

I once made the deal with Hoagie and he was surprised to find out in the end just how many of our sessions together were spiritually guided.  I was in my Shaman Space more often than not with him for months.

I also had someone contact me and say that he wanted to ‘pay it forward.’ Though it is charity, it is charity that I could not refuse. I wasn’t going to take that away from him.

All in all, fees calculated, I made the $250 I wanted and another $61.

The next challenge was getting it into my bank account before Monday morning. They both had suggested Venmo. I signed up for an account but i had to wait for the bank to be verified. I have a Square account but that wasn’t guaranteed until 8PM on Monday.

Both offered instant deposit options to skip the delay. [For a small fee, of course.] I needed my debit card for this. My debit card had expired. I had a new one but needed to find it and get it activated before I could try instant deposit.

All of this is happening between work shifts Saturday night and Sunday morning.

I got everything all connected and ready but both systems said that my bank did not offer instant deposit. Well, nonetheless, the payments were made, the deposits were submitted, and all I could do was wait and see how it all worked out.

By 8PM Sunday night the deposit hit my account and I was fine.

Monday was quite the day. I had stopped to visit both the Pillar and the Putter that morning. There were plans to meet Hoagie at The Professor’s and in the day the Professor would sent me a request to help him clean up his apartment.

So, we all met. Knowing these two don’t always eat, and feeling blessed, I bought pizza and beer for all. We ate and drank and made merry. It was a good moment in time.

After the party broke up, I set to working on the apartment. Before he left, Hoagie helped me pick up a filing cabinet from The Cave so The Professor could organize his papers a bit better. He also picked up a fish tank for his new place. [Slowly, everything in the cave will find its place. It is how The Magick works.]

I worked in the kitchen until 1 AM and started again at 4:30 AM. In the evening, The Putter texted saying I got an envelope from a Human Resources at an Allentown address. I breathed deep. My check had finally come.

Tuesday morning I went with The Professor to the laundromat, then took him to breakfast. Since my check had finally come, I took advantage of the blessing to share the wealth and get some things for The Professor’s apartment. I also stopped at the food bank for him.

Tuesday afternoon I would find myself at The Putter’s and would learn that it wasn’t my check but a letter from the County Human Services Department. I realized that I just spent money I didn’t have.

Wednesday I would wake early and be to The Theatre by 6:30. I went in early because there were things on Tuesday that kept me from going in to do the prep. I was kind of stressed about the new mess I created for myself. I realized, of course, that it was all set-up. I was tricked into thinking that my check had come so that I would just freely go and get The Professor what he needed, when he needed it. But, now what was I going to do? I had less than 24 hours to come up with money once again.

I finally did something that I never thought I would do - I asked The Big Boss for an advance. He was able to give me $100 cash. I calculated things out the best that I could and it seemed that it was Just Enough to cover what I needed and get me through until Friday, when I knew I could make charges that wouldn’t clear until after my paycheck was deposited. Now all I had to do was get it deposited. This is more difficult than it might sound.

The cash forced me to make an actual deposit. The closest branch is about 20 miles away. And, they don’t open until 10AM. I went to The Professor’s and made him dinner and then set off on my way.

I thought I’d try to do an ATM deposit but that was not an option. There was a night deposit but I did not learn about that until the morning and I’m not certain it would have served my purpose. Anyway, I spent the night down that way and hit the bank as soon as I could.

By the time I got there I was already $3 in the red. The deposit balanced things out and set me on my way. Only, now I was late for work.

The drive to The Theatre was a particularly difficult one. The events of Tuesday had left my back out of whack and my body sore. Wednesday was tough but I had assumed it was more a matter of being tired and run down as well as the stress of the money on my mind.

But Thursday, I could feel it. Interestingly enough, while driving to work I heard a reading of my horoscope which said to not feel bad about taking a day off. I wanted to take Thursday off so badly. I was in so much pain. But I didn’t want to do that to them. Certainly not after everything else that had gone on recently.

I got to work and said very little but set right to work. I moved slowly. I held onto things. My focus was centered on just ignoring the pain and getting through the day.

My finances were under control for the moment and I could rest easy. But did I really want to be making charges before I could figure my paycheck out and take care of things like my phone and returning the advance.

Friday I would end up taking the day off. I was just in too much discomfort and needed to rest. It didn’t go over well with The Bosses and actually resulted in me taking Saturday off as well.

[Side note: Friday was the night I was going to take off for the dance recital but went to the rehearsal Thursday after work.]

It turns out that on Friday Afternoon The Professor would need help with something and I would be the only one available to assist. So this is why I didn’t go to work.

Saturday morning $50 cash would find its way to me. This would be enough to carry me through the weekend without making any more charges.

I would spend time with The Putters and The Professor.

Sunday I would return to work and though things went well they were not without tension. I got my check, got it deposited, and calculated where I was financially.

This morning I woke, bought some groceries and got some cash. I put aside the money for the advance and took care of a few other things. My phone will be paid. There is enough to get me through until the check does finally come at the end of the week.

Queen Putter gave a roasted chicken and some potatoes and carrots for The Professor and me to eat. So food was once again plentiful and life is good.

It would seem Faith most certainly did carry me through.

I don’t really know what is happening to my life right now. I do not know how this story ends. Perhaps I will find myself forever on the street. Maybe that is how I serve G-d’s purpose best - bouncing around from place to place, working little Magicks here and there. (Just a guy dopin’ along.)

Maybe it will all get worse and I will simply find my demise in the street.

The Theatre job may be in jeopardy. It could be coming to an end. Only time will tell at the moment.

It also may be taking a rest before catapulting forward. I may need a second job. Or maybe, if I stay, The Theatre will make the difference. Or...I may just need a new job altogether.

I don’t see the Princesses but from time to time here and there. Without a home that will only get worse as time goes on.

I do not know what the plan for living is at the moment. The RV didn’t happen and I don’t see how I could afford one. Every time I accept the possibility of moving in with a friend, something shifts and that becomes not an option.

It is possible that I will find myself on my way towards Wisconsin with a new job and in search of a new home.

My life continues to work by the same rules it has for two decades now. The same rules that have people telling me I’m crazy or that I  don’t get it. Yet, here they are, every day at work and in action.

Somehow I manage to always be in the right place at the right time - no matter how off course I may find myself. I come bearing gifts, sometimes planned and often just by chance. Along the way I pick up what I need.

I still do not fully understand Wisconsin, or its place in my life. It could be the answer to a prayer. Or, it may be just another moment in which I am placed, healings are performed, and then the moment fades. It could be bittersweet or it could be the ending for which I have sought. No matter what else it is or how it goes, Wisconsin is life changing. I’ve told the Lil Boss that when I am done with The Theatre assignment I think I am going to retire from The Business. I’ve put in almost 22 years. I’ve been loyal and diligent. I’m ready for a rest. The Workings take a toll on an aging body.

Perhaps Wisconsin is my retiremen.

For as much as I don’t know about my life at the moment, there is one thing of which I am absolutely certain - G-d is in control. It is his will, his plan, and my only responsibility is to wake up into each day and live it the best I possibly can.

Then, surely, Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

So, without hesitation…

For now and for always, from here in Geistopia this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

JOHNNY: And Johnny…

Doc: Unt me…

And, all of those guys, wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT:…and Freakishness, baby!

Please feel free to leave comments, questions, and concerns. I don’t know you are there if you don’t say, “Hi.” Also, you’re experience of WTML is just as important as mine. So, let me know what you think. Secondly, if you would like to connect, or find out more about me, you can find WTML on Facebook @TheNewWTML or myself at @rev.mgeist.

Totems:

Fox - Feminine Magick of Camouflage, Shapeshifting, and Invisibility

Heron - Aggressive Self-Determination and Self-Reliance

Panther - Reclaiming One’s True Power

Horse(Mustang) - Travel, Power and Freedom

Bear (Grizzly) - Awakening the Power of the Unconscious

Groundhog - Mystery of Death Without Dying - Trance - Dreams

Dragonfly - The Power of Light

Goat - Surefootedness and Seeking New Heights

Eagle - Illumination of Spirit, Healing, and Creation