S6EP3: One Week Since You Looked at Me

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true! 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

 Looch

The Bassett Hound

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason

St. Diane & You (3)

Brother John

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Cousins

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, July 31, Two-Thousand and Twenty-New. Time...Deceiving

Theme – It’s All an Illusion

Anything is Possible and Nothing is as it Seems.

Of course, there is an example I can’t give. [Because it is on the ‘Hush List.’] But I will use my finances once more. I budget. I manage. Nothing goes the way I see it and sometimes it looks worse than it is. But, at the end of each week, I somehow manage to do everything that is important.

Lesson – Don’t Push

I want so badly for things to be ‘right.’ I want people to be healthy and happy. I want it all good. I realize of course, it can’t be. That is just unnatural. But, I push hard to make it happen. Sometimes too hard. For example, a moment with Sunshine that was good intentioned but went very wrong. [Kind of.] But, I also do it with work and finances. I push and push and push. This past week taught me that I need to push to rest as much as I push to work.

Observation – Change is Coming

I have absolutely no idea what that means. I do not know what is going to happen or to what degree. I have no clue what the scope of the change may be. I only know that I can feel it. I feel it stronger and stronger each day. It feels as though one day I am just going to wake up already into it. I know that I can ‘see’ it but only by way of what I cannot ‘see.’ I can ‘see’ my future. I know it happens. But, I cannot ‘see’ what I am doing nor where I am at. This tells me the change is beyond anything I can conceive at the present moment.

The Post

Wow.

What a week.

But, let’s start – for a moment – with today.

I’m having a fairly odd day. First, I am very weepy. I have had several just outbursts of tears. They come without warning and only last but a moment. I don’t know what is causing them. I am not feeling particularly sad. No more than usual, of course. Thoughts of The Princesses – their futures and the past I couldn’t give them – will always make me tear a bit. But, I am not certain the tears are mournful. At times, they feel almost…celebratory. The kind of tears one cries when something remarkable has happened. Something that has been needed. Something that changes things. There is a certain sense of relief associated with the outbursts. But, I do not have anything to celebrate. Nothing of which I am aware anyway.

Still for a few weeks, I have been feeling off. I’ve said it time and time again. It feels as though things have already happened. I just have not caught up with them yet. So, perhaps what has me feeling so emotional is not what has passed but that which is to come.

It was a very active time with the girls. We had quite the week filled with activity and adventure. There was also a subtler intensity underneath it all. Whatever that intensity has been ,I am still feeling it now.

In my last post, I laid out the road map of my week with The Princesses.

Surprisingly, with one exception it was fairly on point. The drive-in was no longer showing either of the movies we had hoped to see there and we had no interest in the ones they were showing. Beyond that all ran smoothly. We made our appointments and commitments. We had our meals and ice cream, our game and movie nights, our activities and our down time. In between there was quite a bit of down time and just chilling out.

Our day trip was quite the adventure all around. We went to New Hope for the day, Sadly, our French bakery was closed. A few places were actually. However, there was a store open that we have been trying to visit for about 3 years. Sadly, it was quite disappointing. Overall we were having a very good time.

Then it happened.

A bowel movement.

Now, I know this is not the thing you may care to read about, Fellow Travelers, amd I will try to keep it as nondescript as possible. But, I think it has it’s place spiritually. Plus, it was the subject of much laughter and many jokes.

We were done with New Hope and had other places we wanted to visit. We were making our way along the Main Street, heading back to The Rocket. We were keeping a good pace when the girls found a tea shoppe they wanted to go in. What they didn’t know as that I had to go to the bathroom.

It kicked in on the walk. I’m not sure what started it or how it got so bad so fast. I had my eyes focused across the street as we walked. I knew there was a market on the walk that I would be able to pop in quick. Then they turned into this shoppe. I was hoping I would be able to hold out.

My hopes were crushed.

We weren’t in there long before I had to scope for a restroom. I don’t even think the girls had ordered. There, at the end of the counter was a small restroom.

This was not the kind of thing you want to do in public. It was potent. [Euphemism.] I don’t know what caused it. It very well may have been the Chinese food from the previous night. It may have been something more spiritual. Whatever it was, it was very strong. There was nothing healthy about it at all.

Honestly, I didn’t even want to come out of the restroom. The only other two customers in the joint were right next to the door and the employee was there talking with them. I saw the look on Cuddlebug’s face – which she openly confessed to later. Nobody said a word. Nobody. We all just went casually about our business. I’m pretty sure t was about an hour before any of us spoke of it.

I told the girls that we’re going back to New Hope and that Shoppe. I promise you they will have invested in some air freshener.

Now, as I said, I believe it to have been more spiritual than anything else. The affects of it lasted for over a day. I was weak and aches. It felt like a purge. This is only all important because of certain other patterns and event sin my life.

We left New Hope and drove across the bridge to Lambertville. We walked the streets and enjoyed some antiquing. We grabbed dinner at a nice Italian restaurant and then headed home by way of Frenchtown and Ringing Rocks Park. We didn’t actually stop at either of them. We were scouting for future adventure time.

Later that night we sat down for what would be our last game night. Sunshine and I had a little blow out. There were a few things I wanted to discuss with her. I knew they would cause some tension and I tried to go about it as delicately as I could. Unfortunately, I failed.

My timing was off. My approach apparently choppy. We had our blow out. Cuddlebug intervened and saved the day. It’s all good now. It was rough for a moment. We made our amends and we moved forward.

Those moments are never fun. We’ve had about three of them since I moved into The Nest. Though they are never fun, I don’t ever regret them. The bring things to the surface. Things we left unsaid for some reason or another. These moments bring them to the surface and make them something with which we can work.

Thursday morning I dropped them at the dentist with their mother. After the appointment, she brought the girls and their brother to meet me in Emmaus. I wanted to share with all of them a new candy store that has opened. I hadn’t been there yet but I knew of it and I figured we would lol like it.

We did.

Sunshine was laughing. We walked through the door and I immediately started convulsing – gyrating and thrusting my hips. I was moaning and sighing softly. I leaned over and whispered in her ear, “OMG. I think I just had an orgasm.”

[My daughters are younger, not ignorant.]

It was one of the most exciting things I’ve done in a while. I think the girls’ brother felt the same.

“I am literally like a kid in a candy store right now,” I blurted out.

Anyway, after the candy store, the Princesses headed home and my life was supposed to return to normal.

It did not.

Originally, the plan was to go and work on Thursday. Then the dentist appointment thing happened. No big deal. I figured I would go out after. Then I decided that I wanted the afternoon and evening of peace and stillness. I don’t get much of that. So, instead, I planned on making at least a little money while they were at the dentist. But, then, I realized I had 2 errands that I needed to run. I did those instead. Well, I did one. Three kids and they were out of the dentist in half an hour.

How does that even happen? Lol

I used Thursday night to relax and unwind a bit and also to get my Dina aces and other what-nots up. I had some writing I wanted to finish off as well. Thursday went by rather quickly. I got a lot done but not as much as I wanted to complete.

Friday rolled around and I got up and had my sights set on heading out on the road.

I did not.

The thing is, I kind of knew this before it happened. I already knew I wasn’t feeling it, but that made me slightly more determined to do it. But, I had a mental slip a few times throughout the week – Thursday night as well. I was thinking about this very writing and what I was going to write and I thought, “Never did I think I would be taking 6 days off.”

I meant 5. I had taken 5 days off. That was not the first time I had that very slip. So, when I woke up struggling to get out and about I knew what I was in for. I decided I would stay at the house and continue my tasks from the night before. I still had plenty of projects to complete. I also needed to get everything packed up and clean the house before I left on Saturday

All-in-all, from the time I stopped working the previous Saturday until I was back out on the road yesterday, I took a total of 7 days off. Never would you have convinced me that was going to happen. I had planned for 4 days originally – Monday thru Thursday. Then it became Sunday thru Wednesday.

I had made my money by very early enough on Saturday morning and decided to take the rest of the day off to get settled in - on my own and with The Princesses. I also wanted to spend the extra time with them that night since I knew they were going away for several hours on Sunday. So, now I was off most of Saturday and planning to be off until Thursday morning.

Then Friday.

Then into Saturday morning.

Never…never would I have even considered taking that much time off. Other than The Shutdown I can’t remember the last time I took off 7 days in a row – and even then I had work at The Theatre and some other odd jobs here and there.

Here’s the thing – I would have never planned it. It has definitely left me with a bit more struggle ahead of me than I was anticipating, but I wouldn’t do it differently. The time with the girls was wonderful – as always. I had time to relax and unwind. So much in fact that I believe I suffered a bit of a Vacation Hangover yesterday and today. I managed to get myself caught up on some lingering projects. I even did a lot [a LOT] of meditating and energy raising.

It pinched my finances but it did not destroy them. The truth is, at the end of the week – with what I made yesterday and today – I managed all I needed to. Vacation was covered. The bills were paid. I have money to cover my initial expenses tomorrow morning. I even had enough to put money aside towards our Beach Getaway…and still have $14 left over to start my week.

The energy work left me worn. I have been working towards something the best I can. It is one of those things I cannot write about yet. However, that is what the writing on Thursday night was about. I wanted to capture the moments. I just cannot share them yet. Everything is still whirling around and settling into place. Things are confusing…perhaps even misleading. Things are getting placed on the table, taken off, put back on. There are even things from a year ago coming back around.

Spiritually, something is happening in my life. I’ve noticed lately that my senses, or my awareness, have heightened. I can hear the silence and feel the stillness. Everything POPS. But that is not the only “sensory” thing that has been happening. I’ve been losing my time and place.

For days this week everyday was Tuesday or the next day was Tuesday. I don’t know what was so special about Tuesday. I just kept flashing to it. Or, the other day, I was standing in Brother John’s back yard and flashed ahead to what felt like late October/Early November.

Of course, the other weird thing has been place. More often than not I feel like I am not in The Valley. I very clearly am. I can see it sprawled out before me. But it feels like someplace else. I’ve been trying to use this to my advantage. I have been striving to see The Valley through the same eyes I see all the towns I have passed through in my quests. I just try to soak it all in and appreciate it.

It’s all very odd.

For instance, Totems have been very potent. They have been showing up in the strangest ways, such as the cricket I started hearing the other day. This may seem rather ordinary. But, you see, Fellow Travelers, just the day before I had thought to myself how I hadn’t heard any crickets and that was a shame because it would be a good omen right now. Then, poof, there it was.

I cannot really discern my way through it right now. Not only does nothing really make any sense, but my timeframes are restricting me. I cannot make any moves, nor make any decision until after The Beach Getaway. Then there is Aug. 26th. All I know is that by this date something should be resolved, made clear…something.

For now, the plan is to focus the best I can on The Getaway. I am going into my next two weeks as a Quest. There is nothing to do but wake up and do the best that I can do each day. I need to let The Universe guide me. Things are just so delicate at the moment. I do not want my own self to get in the way.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.