Stroke Me, Stroke Me

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true! 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is a Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

 Looch

BJ & The Bull

Ace

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Wilson

Zason

St. Diane & You (5)

Brother John & Sister Jen

The Bee Man

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Mayor & The Turkey Man

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Tuesday, November 26, Two-Thousand and Twenty-More. Time...Re-Assessing

Theme – 627

 For many months, randomly and frequently, this number pops into my head. I have no idea why nor what it means. I just figured it was time to acknowledge it. [it is often followed by “thousand”- “,000”]

Lesson – TBD

Observation – We Take Movement for Granted

Not the fact that we can do it, though I’m sure that is very true as well. I’m talking more about all of the intricacies that happen within and between the body and mind to make the simplest movement.

The Post

This post has been in the works for 2 weeks. One might think that it would be easy to write out a blog while laid up in the hospital. One might be wrong. There’s doctors and nurses and techs and tests and pills and rests and guests. No to mention the fact that my Bluetooth keyboard no longer works and I only have one functional hand with which to type.

Last Tuesday [actually I think it was 2 ago], after making an entry, I had a strange little moment. I was in the kitchen with Cuddlebug and I felt this odd lil pop around my Crown Chakra. Immediately after, I seemed to lose motor control throughout my entire body. I made my way to the table – looking like a rag doll. After a few moments I seemed to recover. From there I was off to work.

Some have questioned why I didn’t seem more concerned. Simple. This was not the not the strangest thing that has ever happened to me. I have randomly lost consciousness and survived that. So this was nothing too concerning to me.

Anyway, I went and worked most of the day with no issues. I stopped at The Club Store for some things and I was almost back to the Rocket when my left leg got kind of heavy and clumsy. I drove home and didn’t seem to have any other issues.

Wednesday morning I woke up and both my left arm and leg were kinda limp and dead. They slowly recovered through the morning. Cuddlebug had determined that I had a TIA. A transient something or other – what some might call a mini-stroke. I continued into my work day with the understanding of hey if I was still having these symptoms later Cuddlebug was going to take me to the ER:

My day was fairly routine: my arm and leg remained slightly weak and I may have been a little disorientated. When I got home I decided to do some Reiki on myself and have a sorta ritual soak. Due to the random progression, I still have went convinced this wasn’t some kooky spiritual thing I couldn’t handle on my own.

I was wrong.

Both of those made me weaker. I was falling all over the house. Cuddlebug had made dinner while I was as soaking. So, we ate [and I’m glad we did.]

She drove me to the ER and they did not fuck around. It was obvious to them I had had a stroke. They transferred me to the main hospital and I have been here ever since. Right now I am at rehab which is still at the hospital but considered a separate stay.

We had some complications at first. I have high blood pressure. So they tried to lower it however the more they lowered it the weaker my stroke stricken limbs became.

So they transferred me to ICU where they could raise it again and then slowly lower it with monitoring. From there I went back to a recovery room for a few days and I have been at Rehab for about 4 days so far. I’m not sure yet how long I must stay here. They were having a meeting today to discuss my discharge plan. We will see.

Of course the financial side of the thing is all up in the air as well. I had no insurance coming into this and the hospital is still trying to get me assistance. Beyond that I’m applying fort C disability [temporary] as well as whatever else I can – food stamps, energy assistance, cash assistance. Whatever it takes. I can’t work again until they clear me to drive. Were even looking into a program that would get Cuddlebug paid for being my caretaker.

Forster, I will discuss my frustration. Then we’ll take a look at some other perspective .

My frustration might be fairly obvious. It has happened again. I have spent the past 2 years struggling and pushing to get my financial life balanced out. I was just coming around that corner. I was just about caught up on some back rent and some money I owed Cuddlebug for helping out when times were tough. I was starting to put some money aside each week. I was using it on occasion but at least I was in the habit. I had hope and plans for the future. All I had to do was get through December. Then…BAM! I have lost all that momentum and I have to start all over again from scratch. Only I can’t work. [not yet anyway.]

sigh

I’m all about the challenges of life. Lord knows I have faced enough of them. I just thought one day they would not be as severe. This constant starting all over again is getting a bit old. But I know that somehow, on some level, this was destined to be.

First – metaphysically speaking – represents a resistance to change. I’m not sure what I’m resisting. I know there have been changes I have been thinking about making, mostly habits, but that was all very recent thinking so I’m not sure I was resisting. Nonetheless most of those habits have been stymied for the moment.

Second – I have been saying for some time that I felt a great shift coming on.

Third – for several weeks now, I have been having visions of a “calmer” November/December – less driving, more time at home, etc. I just couldn’t make sense of how that would be. I work the hours I do because that’s what it takes to make the money I need.

So, despite any thoughts or feelings, whatever is coming next was destined to be. I just have to trust the process and G-d. Somehow things work out.

This z has taken me days to type out. I’m sure there is much more that I could write but it takes too long. I have left any entries I made prior.

Sunday 16; 1835

It has certainly been a week.

On Wednesday (possibly Tuesday) I had a stroke. You may wonder how it is I am not exactly sure. Let’s walk through it.

Tuesday morning [after the meeting try you can read in a bit] I was just about ready for work. Cuddlebug and I were in the kitchen. I felt what I can only describe as a pop in my head. But it wasn’t really in my head. It was more above my head - Crown Chakra more precisely. Immediately following I lost all motor control in the whole of my body. I looked like a ragdoll trying to get to the table. Like the Scarecrow after Dorothy released him from the post.

Again, you may wonder, Fellow Travelers, how I didn’t know there was a problem at that point.

Simple.

That is not the strangest thing that ever happened to me.

 Monday, November 11; 0501

 [It looks like it's going to be one of those weeks.]

First, let me say that I have been up since about 0345. This is only partially a surprise. I set 2 alarms every morning. I have a tendency to snooze my way through alarms. I've snoozed through alarms for an hour. I've snoozed through alarms for so long that they have stopped making noise. So, I started setting 2 each morning. One to prime me and one to actually wake me up. I set one for about 0330 and the other for a little after 0400.

You may wonder why I set them so early. I don't like to wake up too late in the morning. If I do, I feel stressed and pressured to get together and get out on the road. I need time to move slowly - allow my thoughts to settle into place, to ground. As it is, most mornings I still snooze until about 0500.

This morning I got up with the first alarm.

I think in order to do this current journey justice I need to try to flush my thoughts both morning and night. I get too lost throughout the week. Too many thoughts. Too many twists and turns.

I feel good going into this week. [Better than I thought I would.] It's not an overly difficult week. The daily Goal is reasonable. Nothing too high. However, they get higher as the weeks go on. I'm very nervous about that. I'm going to have to make cuts here and there. But, I have so much to accomplish.

My days are challenged at the moment. First there is the heat thing, which is being addressed. Worst case - I don't freeze in the car over the winter. The other challenge is driving in the dark without my glasses. I wish I knew where they went. I really thought they would show up but they have not. Of course, I am still about 2 months away from being able to even think about it.

Tuesday, November 12; 0405

^deep, deep sigh^

Yesterday, I had a terrible headache. It started mild. I wasn't overly concerned. It was the kind of headache I get with rain or snow. It had rained early in the morning. So, I just rolled with it. I had to stop twice in the day to rest. Once I figured it was my typical daily rest - even though I took a quick nap before I left for the day. [One advantage to being awake by 0330. I have time for that.] The second time it was definitely to try to fix my head. [The advantage to doing Reiki.] Both times it helped temporarily. But, by like 1700 it was so bad I could barely see straight. [Not a good thing when you already can't see good in the dark.]

I delivered an order that put me at a straight shot home. I took it. I came home, unpacked my Amazon box [phone cords and a heater for the car,] unpacked my lunch, took a pill [that's how you know it was bad,] and went right to bed. No dinner. No nothing.

I feel much, much better this morning. A little out of it from the pill and the very deep sleep I had - but definitely better.

Financially, this put me a little more behind than I wanted to be. It's not terrible. But it's not where I wanted to be. Though to be fair I am getting caught up in the future and I need to stop that.

Dreamtime was interesting last night. I can't really remember it - only one brief image. But I know I was very comfortable in it. Every so often I have a Dreamtime that I like better than my life and wish I didn't have to return from it. But that's neither here nor there.

I can't fight the feeling that something is brewing. I don't know if it's in my own personal life or global/universal.

I think that's all I have for now. I wanna get my day together and get started. [Now that I might have heat for the car.]

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC:  Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak

Fox

Dog