The Day After (Or, The Ashes Stir)

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Yeah, it’s true. 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co. 

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Warden

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Hoagie Snowflake

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop (may they R.I.P.)

The Looch

The Bassett Hound 

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason

Oh, Danny Boy

St. Diane & You

Brother John

Thing 1 & Thing 2

The Nameless One

All the People in My ‘Neighborhood’

White Gurl

The Anomaly 

Good Man, Charlie Brown

‘Jim’

Someone Else

The Rox

CCPA

The PA F&AM

PDT

Senoll #5

Superstar

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Baby-Mama Rabbit

My Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous. 

It is…Thursday, January 2, 2020. Time...Beginning.

0835

01/02/2020. It is a 7 Day. I also see a 1, a 2, a 3, a 4, a 5, and a 6. It’s not often that you can find so many different numbers in just one day. 

The Sun is in Capricorn; rises at 0725, sets at 16:45. 

There is a Waxing Gibbous Moon in Aries. 

Mercury, Saturn and Jupiter are gathering with the Sun. While Mars is in Scorpio and Venus sits in Aquarius.

WALT: *sings* This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius…

DOC: *sings* Agch of Aquarius…

Oh my god, it is just way too early for both of you. 

WALT: Then you shouldn’t have woken us up. 

I don’t think I had much choice in that. 

WALT: Probably not.

JOHNNY: *sings loudly and off-key* Aaaaaage of AQUARIUS.

*The other three stop and look at him.*

JOHNNY: What? You were missing one and it was bothering me. I need structure. 

WALT: Yes, we know. Focus and Discipline. Your two balls. You know what they say...a ball in the hand is worth two in the bush.

*Shaking head* Oh good lord. No one reading this even knows what you’re talking about. 

WALT: Well, maybe we should point them in the direction of the video and they can find out. 

That is a smashing idea. You’re the tech guy. Why don’t you get on that. And, Johnny, you’re the script guy. Make it so #1. Then everyone can leave me alone to do my job. 

This is my day , folks. All day, every day. These fools runnin’ around inside my head all trying to act like they exist. 

WALT: Hey! I exist. Ex-i-stentially.

Shhh! Zip...quie...shhh…

WALT: I feel like you’re stifling my creativity. 

What?!

WALT: I’m trying to express myself - my inner nature, and you’re being very unreceptive…Did I get that right, Doc?

DOC: Zat’s right. Communicate your feelings, Valter…

WALT: Then stop calling me friggin’ Walter!

DOC: Perhaps vis a little less hostility. 

WALT: Right. Still working on that.

DOC: Unt inhale...two...schree...four...unt exhale...two…

WHOA! Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What in the name of all that is holy is happening here? Are you letting him shrink your head??

WALT: Maybe a little. Dude’s got some shit to say, man. 

Well...stop it! That’s my head too.

WALT: Yes. We know.

DOC: I’ve actually been meaning to talk vis you about sum sings. 

JOHNNY: Gentlemen…

Finally! Says The Age of Aquarius over here. Can we please? We sat down with purpose. This was supposed to be short, sweet and simple and you all ran amuck...*a single finger quickly snaps up*...And don’t anyone dare make a Hocus Pocus reference right now. I heard it. I don’t which one of you thought it...but just don’t do it. 

Sheesh.

I apologize folks. I did not see that coming at all. I thought The Village was all preoccupied with their own stuff. 

So...why are we here then? What is the purpose? Deeper questions for another time, mayhaps. But, for now, Right This Moment, I do not know. We are here because it was time to be here. I’ve been told to write. The time was there. I was inspired. So, here I sit...writing. 

I want to capture this day in fragments. I don’t know why. This is fragment number one. 

Another fragment will probably come in video form. 

I awoke later than I would have liked this morning. I’m OK with it. I understand. I have had a very rough two weeks behind me. My sleep patterns have been all over the place. I was even up for a bit at 0200. However, I would like to get it under control and be up earlier. First and foremost, I like waking up early. It gives you more day with which to play. But, also, I need to return to my practices. This includes the Daily Devotions. The first one of the day should be at 0600/sunrise/waking. Whichever comes first, I suppose. 

I like to do it where it belongs. It is placed, they are all placed, at the Gateway to the next part of the day. Usually, even if I am up, I will wait until sunrise. 

So I did my Devotion this morning, along with The Cross, the LBRP, and the BRH. It’s been a long time since I have done any of that. It was interesting to me how easily the visualizations came back to me. I still can work on slowing down and focusing more. They really take almost no time at all, once memorized, so there is no need to speed through them. 

You may have noticed that I documented a little differently today. I use to watch all of that stuff. It was not so much about understanding it or knowing what it meant. I just always liked to be aware. More often than not, it would help me understand things that happened along the way. Or, at the very least, be comfortable with them. 

Numbers. I love numbers. You must know this by now. The construct of all existence is math - the power of numbers. I could play in the mysteries they hold forever I think. So, needless to say, I am very fascinated by the pattern of numbers for today. 

And, the rise and set times will, one day, help us better decipher the fragments of this post. 

It really is a strange day for me. I do not yet know how I am feeling or what I am thinking about anything at all. I can’t get a grip on a direction. I don’t like feeling that way. 

My resolve has been, then, to focus more within. No thoughts of Divine Plans or purposes or directions. But instead, staying tuned in to myself right here, right now, Right This Moment.

And, out comes the Buddhist in me. 

Again, I am terrible with the Bibliography of my life. And, I cannot always say that what I have read is 100% accurate, but…

I read once that we consider Buddha to be the first Atheist. His teachings were more philosophical in nature - the powers of the mind. The thing is, Buddha believed in the Divine. He never renounced it. He just didn’t talk about it. I read that Buddha believed in Divine Forces, but that he also believed they were too far beyond our comprehension. So, he began to believe that the best thing we could do, not only for ourselves, but for these Divine Powers, was to focus on the self in the here and the now. To be at one with all moments as they come. In this one act alone we can find within ourselves…

Right Word.

Right Thought.

Right Action. 

This is not from any moral high ground. It’s innate within us. It is not a matter of right vs. wrong but what is right in the moment. 

When I snapped at everyone over Yule, it was not right word, nor thought, nor action. I still feel justified in feeling how I felt, but how it came across was not right. And, if I had taken a moment to be in tune with myself, I would have known this. Because, if I am being honest with you [and myself] Fellow Travellers, just before that moment happened, I felt it. I heard it. I sensed it. But, my head, my heart, my spirit were all clouded and confused, so I ignored it. 

Thus, my goal for today is to move slow. There are things I must get done and things I would like to get done. However, my ultimate priority is allowing my bodies to continue to mend and recuperate from what they have just been through. 

I have not written the email as of yet. It should have probably been done yesterday, but, then, if it should have been done it would have been done. However, it does need to be finished before the energies of Yule subside for another year. [That is either 1800 or midnight, depending on how you want to take things apart.]

And, now, I am going to set into doing...something.

Smell ya later, y’all.

1535

It was almost 333 when I started to write again. But the moment passed quicker than I moved. But, that’s neither here nor there. 

So, taking it slow and capturing the day as we go.

[I do so love when it comes in rhyme.]

There’s not much to report, really. I mean there have been no large developments, nor happenings. But it is a day and life has been being lived.

The morning was as the morning should be. It was relaxed, but focused. I used the time to get organized and tweaked, cleaned up and showered and ready for the day’s activities. I handled my finances - what there is of them - and took care of business, what I call Administrative. 

This is what I had come to know as The Morning so many years ago. It’s not that nothing gets done, but that what is done helps to activate and power what needs to be done. 

The afternoon became more active, though not overly so. I did get my laundry done and folded and away - 3 10 minute round trip walks included. I got some more things organized and tweaked. I made plans for tomorrow afternoon. I have this friend and associate who has been trying to meet up with me since before the holidays. Tomorrow is just as good a day as any.

I did manage an actual moments rest, when I laid down and just stopped for bit. It really wasn’t long before I was up and moving again. 

I have also spent a lot of time thinking about this email. I don’t want to over think it but I do not wish to go in blind either. It is a delicate thing. It’s not about blaming or pointing fingers or instigating anything. It is merely about expression. That is how it came to me.

When it came to me I was in the throws of The Breakage. I was seeing no hope ahead and counting the days until I would just merely disappear. Basically, I had nothing left to lose so there was nothing to lose in finally just saying what it is I need to say. 

And, again, that is a fine line. It is not about accusing or blaming or hating. It is only about this is how I felt. I don’t imagine it will be received well in either case. It may not even be read. One can never be too sure. 

I do feel accomplished in my day as we near the Evening Gateway. It was about straightening up and putting things in order - inside and out. I feel I have done that. I managed the list I had before me and perhaps a little bit more. There are still things that I can do or work on and we will see what the evening hours bring. 

2355

Well it has certainly been a day and I am approaching the final Gateway. 

Before I get into the evening part of the day, there was one more thing from the Active part of the day. 

As I made my way back and forth to the laundromat today, I would pass by The MattMobile. The last I knew of it, the battery had been changed but the car still would not start. The news of this had left me very depressed in that moment. I had become hopeful that the car would work and I would once again have a better chance at things. 

This had all happened on Saturday while I was running around with The Professor, so I was not here when the car was tested. I thought about it and realized that the car had trouble starting to begin with - before the alleged battery problem. The person working on the car sort of knew this but was never present for it in the past. I decided that maybe I should give the car a try. Now, don’t get ahead of yourself. It did not start.

However, I did notice a definite difference in the power. This is to say that, thought the car did not start/the problem was not fixed, the new battery definitely makes some sort of a difference. I tried a couple of times, to no avail. I am not disturbed by this. There were many times over these months that the car just seemed like it was not going to start. Eventually, it would. This is precisely what wore down the battery in the first place. I would try over and over again, sometimes for a full 15 minutes. It would fight. It would seem hopeless. But, eventually it would start. 

That’s how this was. It didn’t start, but I could still feel the fight/the desire within it. This gives me hope. And, I’m ok with that. I see it the same as I view my hand. Though it may not e perfect, or complete, in its healing - its fixing - it has shown improvement. And, that will always be a step in the right direction.  

Anyway, the Evening Gateway would come and go. Before I reached it I found myself very worn out. For a day that i did not push through I certainly felt like I had. My body was tired physically/spiritually. I laid on the cot and it was fairly early. The Gateway hadn’t even come yet. I figured I would just let myself rest for a bit. Instead, I ended up sleeping for a few hours. Again, I am ok with this. 

However, this results in me not having written the email yet. It was on my mind all day long as I wrestled with it - not over the writing of it, but how to write it. So delicate. So fragile. 

WALT: Fra-gee-lay!!!

Oh, good lord. 

I know that it is a measure of closure. As I may have mentioned earlier, the inspiration came at a time when I believed I had nothing left to lose, so I had nothing to lose in expressing myself. 

I still do not want it to be attacking or accusatory. This is where I find difficulty. No matter what I wish to say, as I work through it, that is how it sounds to me. So, the goal is still to find a way to express it all without making matters worse. I am not looking to prolong a fight that is already overdrawn and unnecessary. I merely want to attempt to cease the energies where they stand. 

Perhaps I will set to that when I am finished with this. 

*Pause for the Final Gateway.*

When I laid on the cot earlier, I decided to try reading again. I really haven’t stopped to read in so very long. I laid on the cot, read through the first several pages, and soon I was ready to crash. This is why I haven’t tried to read in so long. Every time I read I just shut down. 

In retrospect, on this side of that moment, I have to wonder if it is because I don’t really give myself rest time. If I am not doing physically, I am certainly active mentally and that usually results in some level of emotional or spiritual activity. The act of reading relaxes the mind. Perhaps once it becomes relaxed, mine just wanted to rest. Still, ,I enjoyed what I was reading and will have at it again soon. 

The day focused a lot on my State of Beings. It was really nothing more than a day of full-on waking meditation. No matter what I was doing, I was also processing something - some thought, some feeling, some energy. It was like I was caught in a Life Review. 

Earlier today, Wisconsin sent me a text saying that my two most recent posts were in line with her dream. I had asked which dream. She went on to describe a dream in which I was starting on a road to recovery and re-discovery. I was finally finding a sense of Peace. She had this dream last night. 

That is how I felt all day. I could feel my Spirit healing and mending, shifting and bending. I was looking at what I really need to do, who I need to be to get through this all and move on. 

For so very long now, I have been so driven. So much, in fact, that at times it may have seemed as though I had stalled out. But, this was never the case. There was always some part of me pushing and trying and striving - reaching for the future. Whether I was trying to make money or forge a career, or I was pursuing hobbies/interests/studies, or trying to keep up with family and friends I was always on the go on some level. I was out to master the Four Directions and Elements. 

It is why in my Lottery Dream the first thing I do is stop. 

I need to use that same attitude and approach in my life now. I must stop. I must be fully in the moment in which I find myself. There can be no hurry nor pressure. 

You Cannot Control the ART.

I must move slowly and mindfully. I must simply breathe and be at Peace. [There has been a lot of that today. Exhaling. Breathing it all out as my body relaxes just a bit more.]

I thought on my Journeys and what they have been to me. On each of them, the whole idea was to turn my life over to Spirit and be guided. I certainly learned a lot about how G-d works with us. It is not always cut and dry, black or white. Every moment was Divine on those Quests and I was literally led to each. 

I found that when I would return to The Valley and life that it was not as easy to just take it step by step, moment by moment. It didn’t seem as simple as ‘Just be led’ anymore. However, in retrospect, that is precisely what I should have done. 

It is what I must do now. 

I must remove any personal motivations, directions and desires. There is no moment but this one. So, I allow this moment to forge the next. If I just stay tuned into myself and the moments then there should always be Right Thought, Right Word, and Right Action. 

But, the notion, of being guided is so foreign to us. We talk about it in subtle and secretive ways, imbuing it into our culture, but the actual practice of it is so much different. 

To be led means just that. To feel the pull or the draw and to follow it. Sometimes it goes against all rational and reasonable thinking. Sometimes it leads us places we’d rather not be. 

This is how I came into this day and it is how I will leave it behind. 

I am slowing down. I am going one moment at a time. I let today be whatever it was going to be and I find that it was perfectly productive on all the right levels. Plans were put into place for tomorrow. But, there has been nothing leading to a future. 

I still do not know what I am going to do for a job or for just income for that matter. But, I have some money in my wallet and a bit in my account. It’s Just Enough for now. I have some food and drink - enough for now. I have clothes on my back. There are no looming bills due immediately. 

So, all I can do is go one moment at time until I reach a destination. 

If you’re not already there go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page - WTML, or the YouTube Channel - Welcome to my Life.

Wherever you are, and whenever you are, Like, Comment and Share. We’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation…

For now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaand Johnny…

And, those guys, saying, “stay tuned in Fellow Travellers,” and wishing you Peace, Love