To Die Would be an Excellent Adventure (To Live Again...Even More So.]

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true! 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is a Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

 Looch

BJ & The Bull

Ace

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Wilson

Zason

St. Diane & You (5)

Brother John & Sister Jen

The Bee Man

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Mayor & The Turkey Man

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday December , Two-Thousand and Twenty-More. Time..Deciding

Theme – Slow & Calculated

Lesson – One Step at a Time

Observation – Don't Get too Far Ahead of Now

The Post

 I don't remember any of what I wrote in the previous post. Of course, I was in the hospital - trying to recover from a stroke as well as recover the post itself.

I have been home from the hospital since Wednesday afternoon. It's been an experience. Not. good. Not bad. Just an experience.

I've been getting around alright enough. I have a walker [which now has a tray attachment.] Fortunately, The Homestead isn't too big so moving from room to room isn't too hard. I just have to move slow and concentrate on my each step I take. I am a natural "compensator" [as my PT in the hospital would say.] So, as I am moving about I have to be aware of all the new bad habits that seemed to come so naturally - taking smaller almost shuffle like steps, leaning to the right, over using my hip to move, etc. If I don't correct these things now they will just set in and hinder my recovery.

The left leg is stronger than the arm. I have movement in my arm and hand. It's just not very strong, nor can I control it the way I would like. There is slight improvement. Certainly over how I was initially or even the day I got discharged. Sometimes, even from one day to the next. Still, it is slow and frustrating.

I fully understand that my physical situation could be much worse than it is. I am technically very fortunate.

The rest of my life is working pretty much the same way. There is functionality. It is limited and feels like I cant guide it, except for very small and calculated movements. And, though there is hope for a full recovery, I just can't be certain at the moment.

Financially, it is a challenge. We have most bills covered for another month> Rent is another story but we are trying to figure that out. There are a lot of programs available and I am working on applying for as many as I can - Disability, SNAP, Cash Assistance, rental assistance if I can find it. There is also a program [through insurance, I'm told] that could allow Cuddlebug to get paid to be my caretaker. Of course, I am also going to seek out work opportunities -Tarot Readings and some other things.

The problem is that all of these things take time and I don't know how much of it I have. Brother John is already feeling a lil anxious about the future of our rental agreement. I totally get and respect that. I just hope I can convince him to take a gamble and work with me for a little bit.

Though I am going to struggle a lot to afford the home for awhile, I cannot afford to lose the home. I have no place else to go. I have no place to go with all my stuff. Basically, for me, losing the house means losing everything. I have started over many times in my life. Most of those times I at least had something on which I could lean - ability to be mobile, some kind of work, living at Olde Geistopia. There's always been at least one thing. This would be a total Reset to Zero. I would have nothing to use as a foundation. I couldn't even viably live in my car again at the moment.

I'm trying not to get too far ahead of myself in thoughts or questions.

 Anything is Possible & Nothing is as it seems

It's very difficult for me to navigate this situation as a whole. I'm starting from almost zero and I have no definites or guarantees. At the moment, everything is a long shot or a long process. So I feel like I am kinda floating at sea and trying to navigate a direction.

Add to it the time of year and I am feeling very lost.

Every year, October begins my Void. In the Void, I cannot be sure of anything I think I know. The Void brings change and in The Void anything can change at any moment. For 2 decades I have not been able to plan anything during The Void.

And, of course, Yule is just around the corner. Yule is like 2 weeks of The Void to the extreme. Historically, Yule is THE most magickal time of my year. I'm worried this year because I am having difficulty feeling the Spirit so far and it usually has kicked in by Thanksgiving. But, there is time.

Six minutes is a very long time and anything can happen in 6 minutes

So where am I really in life?

I don't know.

I am recovering from the stroke. It's a slow process but I do see small improvements every day. No matter how frustrated I may get though, I must remember that, truly, I am only starting this journey. My first outpatient appointment is on Wednesday.

I am trying to put my life back in order around Nu Geistopia. There's paperwork and mail and piles. Some were left when I stroked. Some came while I was gone. And some I brought home with me. It is taking me much longer than I'd like but I just keep slowly working away at it.

I am trying to keep my finances in order and make a plan for moving forward. I am so out of touch with it all at the moment. I know we are OK. I just don't know for how long. My biggest hurdle is seeing how flexible Brother John can be in regards to rent. He may not have any room for flexibility and I respect that. But hopefully there is some. In the meantime, I keep working at assistance and whatever else I can figure out.

I am focusing on habits that must change - to some degree or another.

Basically...I got nothin. ^shrugs^

All I can do is do what I always do. I have to look at what is right before me and work with it the best I can to make the most of it.

Start with what I know, or have "seen"

What I have "seen" is Spring. I saw spring here at Nu Geistopia. I saw it in September already. I only note it because I thought it was early to be sensing Spring. Perhaps that was a foreshadow to give me peace and focus now.

I know that I had "seen" this downtime. I didn't see the disability. But for several weeks I was seeing more time at home and less on the road. I just couldn't wrap my brain around how that could work.

I know that even though I am potentially on the verge of losing everything I have worked for, that everything I am doing right now - the sorting and organizing and whatnot - would serve ta stronger future if I stayed where I am.

I know that the habits have been on the docket for some time. Its not just about breaking the bad habits but forming and re-establishing better habits. All of which was falling by the wayside because I was caught in my daily rut and routine. [ My Rut-tine.]That is not currently an issue.

I know that all I can do is take step by step, moment by moment, day by day. I cannot force anything. I cannot push myself too hard.

I looked at the Cycle today - trying to gauge how things might flow. Of course, the numbers all depend on when you place the beginning of things. If you start with the stroke itself then I am already 3+ weeks in. I feel like that process was its own thing. So we start with coming home.

Wednesday would be 0 The Void. I spent half the day in the hospital and half the day getting re-acclimated at home.

Thursday was Day 1 - The Self. I spent the day going through everything, unpacking, getting myself in touch with my life, picking up prescriptions. That is the day I was up 21 hours.

Friday is 2 for Balance and duality. Partnership. This was the day I rested more than anything.

Saturday and Sunday become 3 (creativity, the Trinity) and 4 (foundations). I do not have an understanding of how they played out. I basically spent them at Olde Geistopia. At best I think it convinced me that I have to figure out how to make this work. Olde Geistopia would currently be my only option and I just don't see it as viable. There are too many factors involved that work against recovery. Beyond that maybe the habits. I went all that time without the bad habits -like cigarettes. I got a lil restless and anxious at times. But, I did it. I also slept a lot of that time. I need to use that knowledge and experience to curb the habit at home and ween myself off of it. I also found that I was missing my water and hot tea. So I must focus on having more of those in my day.

Tmorrow is Day 5 - The number of coming into being. The center of the self. Starting when I wake tomorrow I must move slow and make coscious [and healthy] choices. I want to stay on top of the things I need to do to manage and maintain my life. But I also need to make time for all of those things that were short changed or skipped over altogether as I lived in chaos.

I must revert to the me I know. The me who survived all those years in Olde Geistopia. My lists and rituals and faith.

To the best that I can discern at this moment that is the only way I will get through this. If not to accomplish my Goals [which I believe will happen] then at the very least to hold onto my sanity and lift my Spirit. I must strive for a life of "perfection" in a far from perfect life.

And away we go...

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC:  Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak

Owl - The Mystery of Magic, Omens, Silent Wisdom, and Vision in the Night

Symbol of the feminine and the night. Ties to fertility and seduction. Bird of magic and darkness, of prophecy and wisdom. Symbolically associated with clairvoyance, astral projection and magic, both black and white. Hints of the light of the sun, alive in the dark of night. Meditation on this alone will reveal much about the magic of Owl within your life. Will be able to see and hear what others are trying to hide. What is not being said. See what is hidden or in the shadows. Detect and pinpoint the subtleties. Unique ability to see into the darkness of others’ souls. And life. Their medicine can extract secrets. If your neck is stiff and inflexible, you are hindering your perceptions to a great degree. Often reflects that you were born very perceptive - with a vision of others that you may or may not have recognized or acknowledged. Unique ability for seeing into the eyes and souls of others. Keep silent and go about your business. Eliminate those aspects that are not beneficial and unhealthy. 

Hawk - Visionary Power and Guardianship.

Messengers, protectors and visionaries. Visionary power and leading you to your life purpose. There is a message coming. What you eat, you become. Kundalini. Childhood visions are becoming empowered and fulfilled. The ability to soar and glide upon the currents. Great Heights while still keeping your feet on the ground. Attacks by people who won’t understand you - attack your ability to soar. Teaching of higher expression of psychosis and vision. Beauty and harmony in moderation. Lead you to using your creative energy in manifesting your soul purpose. Hope and new ideas. A need to be open to the new or shows ways that you may help teach others to be open to the new. Be observant. Life is sending signals. Careful in expression. Comments and actions will be strong and powerful with the ability to tear and/or kill. 

Cardinal - Renewed Vitality through Recognizing Self-Importance

They remind us that, regardless of the time of day or year, we always have the opportunity to renew our own vitality and recognize our own life roles. Whistles are often reminders to listen closely - to pay attention to what is blowing on the winds. Reflects that we should be listening to the inner voice (the feminine) more closely for our own health and well-being. Almost always reflects a need to assert the feminine aspects of creativity and intuition more strongly. Can reflect a need to b more careful about your diet, that what you are eating may be injurious to yourself and affecting your overall vitality. Reflects the rhythm of 12 that is going to become more predominant within your own life. Reflects lessons associated with responsibility and the recognition of the task at hand. May reflect past-life connections with the church, or even a reviving of more traditional religious beliefs, regardless of denomination. Remind us to add color to our lives, and remember that everything is of importance. 

Stroke - Giving up. Resistance. "Rather die than change." Rejection of life. (Life is change and I adapt easily to the new. I accept life - Past, Present & Future.)