Trance-adelic

Je n’sais Hee-Haw

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Yeah, it’s true.

WALT: Welcome to my Life is an I T.V. Studios/Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Craze & Co.

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Warden

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Hoagie Snowflake

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

The Looch

The Bassett Hound

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason

Oh, Danny Boy

St. Diane & You

Brother John

Thing 1 & Thing 2

The Nameless One

Good Man, Charlie Brown

‘Jim’

The Rox

CCPA

Senoll #5

Superstar

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Baby-Mama Rabbit

My Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, February 16, 2020. Time…Forming.

Theme - The Balance & Duality of it All

Lesson - Patience

Observation - G-d is a Complex Beast

Hey, gang! What’s going on?

Let’s take a look at the Theme, Lesson, and Observation first.

Patience. Oh, Patience!! This definitely came up a lot towards the end of the week. I was finding myself restless, feeling as though I wasn’t getting enough done - getting far enough, fast enough. I had to be reminded several times that All Good Things Come to Those Who Wait. I am going through so much right now and. I need to be fair with myself. I do have plans. I do have Goals, and I can meet them all. But, it takes time. Factor in the healing process I am going through on all levels, plus adjusting to new schedules and working my body differently and it is ok that I sometimes do less. I’m allowed to rest. Truly, what does all the pushing serve? Things will happen in their own time and in their own way. As long as I am taking care of business and maintaining a pace, then I am doing what I can to help the process. After this next week, I should [I hope] have enough of a cushion and some flexibility in what I can do. Of course, I am not anticipating things being ‘Full Throttle’ until two more weeks after this one.

I find it interesting that that will be another 3 weeks. It has been 3 weeks since I started The Job and a lot has come together. I will be receiving my first two week pay soon. I have an established schedule, albeit temporary. I am slowly finding a groove in my days off to get other things done. Now, we are looking at another 3 weeks. This is the first week and should be the ‘worst’ of them. This is only because I still have tight finances to face this week. On the flip side of things, I should have my work shoes by the time I get to my shift on Wednesday. So, my body should be feeling better after work and my energy should be a little higher. I have myself a little better organized going into this week, so I should be able to make some actual use of my time off. Which means, by that point next week I should be at least 90% functional. Plus, by this time next week, I will actually have some funds with which to work. So, by that third week, which ends with another pay, I should have myself fully established and ready to rock and roll.

Could it be that the message, “3 Weeks” was not just about a single timeframe, but defining a pattern? Take it 3 weeks at a time. I have come through the first three weeks and am on to the second set for a total of 6 weeks. That will put us, in Post terms, on Sunday, March 8. [Do I even need to point out how interesting that 8 is to me? Numbers of that day, in no particular order - 3,4,6,8, and 11.] If that is the case, then what should I expect in the last three weeks - 9 Weeks total. [03/29/2020=9.]

The Balance & Duality of it All. Certainly a Theme in my life at the moment, but I really took notice to it this past week. As I have already stated, I am going through a healing process, yet I have been in a lot of pain. Or, in the same vein as Patience there is Industriousness. You cannot have one without the other. Patience cannot become laziness or lethargy. As you practice Patience you must also continue to toil away at things. Still, you cannot toil too much. No matter how much work is done, only so much can be truly accomplished. So, do the works but release the expectations of time and result. I could even apply this Theme to Wisconsin. Though it is sad that we have come to the point we have, I think in the long run we will both find it was what we needed right now. We continue to talk everyday and we still cherish each other very much, but we had to release each other from the ‘bonds of relationship.’

Of course, I can certainly apply this Theme of Balance & Duality to my material life. Obviously, I have a great deal of financial struggle and strain. I always have, no matter what I’ve been doing or where life was at. Yet, at the same time, I am so very abundant in my life. Even I cannot deny this. I do always have what I need right when I need it. [Rarely a moment sooner.] I have clothes on my back. I have food to eat. I have been keeping myself afloat. Yes, a lot of it is through help - such as Hoagie giving me a place to lodge in the winter, or my other friends who have been ever so generous. But, that help does not detract from the richness of it all. I still manifest the right things at the right time. For instance, I had someone ask about Rabbit Carvings for Easter. She asked after seeing a Santa Carving I had done. My concern was that [I felt] it was the type and style of wood that make the pieces so appealing, however I only had a few pieces of it left. Suddenly, I went from a few pieces to just over a dozen. I have enough wood to do some Rabbit Carvings and even some Leprechaun Carvings. I might even pull one or two to do Pumpkins for Halloween.

And, Finally, G-d is a Complex Beast. I come to this conclusion often. Complex in his Simplicity, and Simple in his Complexity. Spirit, in fact, is the epitome of Balance & Duality. Spirit wants the best for us, so sometimes we must face the worst. We must remain grateful for the blessings, as well as the hardships. We can keep our practices as simple as prayer or delve into the mysticism that hides within every religious path. Buddha felt the best way to serve Divinity was to focus on The Self. Divinity, he thought, was too complex for mankind to grasp. He wasn’t wrong. G-d is a chasm of mysteries. It runs very deep. There is something to be learned from everything. Everything teaches us a little more about how Spirit functions and it can oft times seem contrary and contradictory. But...that is G-d. Yet, for all of that complexity, as I said, one can keep the practice as simple as prayer [and Faith,] and, in the Grand Scheme of things, accomplish just as much as the most skilled Magician. So, for me, working with Spirit has become a matter of Balance & Duality. I have my Rituals and Routines, which I am actually planning on expanding this week, but I also keep myself rooted in simple prayer and Faith.

Now, let’s take a quick look at the Numbers and then we can sum up the end of the week.

As I have already said, I find myself at the end of Week 3 at The Job. The experience has followed true form. Over the past 3 weeks I have ‘created’ myself and my life. I have established myself at The Job. I have been getting myself together in other areas of my life. And, technically, I have established a flow of income. I just won’t see that until we are into Week 4.

We are coming to the close of Week 7 of The Experiment. Again, I would have to say that it has been true to form. I have found in Week 7 that I have definitely come a long way, I have healed and grown, but I am not complete as of yet. There is still plenty of work to be done. I still have issues with which I need to cope. I still have Goals to meet before I can even begin to look at my actual Goals.

Wednesday will begin Week 8 - the Number of Abundance & Divinity. In this week, I will see my first 2 week pay, which should start pushing my life in a different direction for a change. And, by the end of that week - Monday/Tuesday - I may even be seeing an increase from other efforts. But, I am also really focused on The Divinity of it all right now. For as much as I thought I had Faith or walked with/Leaned on Spirit, I find lately it is increased. It’s all I really see right now. It is invigorating and inspiring [the Spirit within.] But it is also overwhelming and sometimes crippling. It is nothing less than I would expect it to be.

So, now on to the end of my week.

As of Friday morning, things were as things have been lately. I was dragging along just trying to maintain this commitment. I was mellow and a little tender. I was stressing over finances. I am so close and yet so far. I just need to juggle my way through the next few days. Really, it’s Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday and Thursday are work days and those go by fast and tend to fall into place and take care of themselves. So I need to get through Monday and Tuesday and just make sure that I can tweak myself to Friday morning. I’m hoping something happens and a little more money comes in before I get there. I could certainly use it. But, it is something I have found I cannot control, so I'll just plan on working with what I have.

Anyway, I went in to work on Friday in anticipation of the District Manager being there and having a conversation with him about moving ahead with management plans. This was a difficult moment to get through. Actually, it was the moments after. Nothing bad really happened. The plan is still to move ahead and we are going to institute that now. However, it has all gone down differently than what I was told at the interview. This is why I have problems working for companies. Inevitably, it is never the way it was made to seem. Their needs change, their promises shift. Sometimes, that happens on my end as well. Nonetheless, moments like this are exactly why I practice Nothing is Guaranteed Until it Happens.

In the interview they had described a 3 tiered process. Each tier would bring with it a pay increase, to a total of $12.50/hr. I was told that this would happen over a 3 week period. I would start at the bottom and each week I would move up one tier, with the included pay increase. This was confirmed in my first, and I believe also, my second week of work by the Restaurant Manager. In yesterday’s conversation I learned that we have not actually started the process yet and that it would start this coming week. I suppose it’s a good thing that i didn’t track my hours at the rates I was told I would be making. I also learned that they only plan on ling to $12 an hour. This is frustrating.

It’s not so much the pay difference as the message behind it all. Only 3 weeks in and there are shenanigans. Perhaps this is why I was reminded before I started that I am not looking for a career. Not here. Not like this. I’ve been down this road before - same brand, different franchise. It’s interesting, really. The same company that really taught me about managing and training, or at least gave me a great base in both, is also the same company that made me realize you have to be careful how much of yourself you are willing to sacrifice. You can’t always go above and beyond. I definitely pick and choose those occasions with more caution.

There were other things in the day that further confirmed that I just can’t get too attached or committed. It’s not about doing the work or keeping The Job. I just can’t let either consume me. I am realizing that I am just of a different mold than many. For instance, in my meeting with the District Manager I expressed my concern that the policies and procedures I remember may be outdated and so I feel at a loss sometimes in guiding things. I gave the example of the sandwich board. I find our sandwich board to always be in chaos. I mentioned that 25 years ago, the procedure for running a two person board was to have the first person pull and mark the wrap, set the sandwich and dress the crown. The second person then dresses the bottom, wraps the sandwich and sends it out. This is not anywhere close to what we do.

“Well, yes. That is still the procedure and in most instances is right, but you have to understand that there are about 10 new employees here.”

Soooooo….what you’re telling me is that we are going to train them the wrong way first and then go back and try to teach them the right way??

Or, this morning, after I emptied the bulk sugar container, I turned to one of my co-workers and asked, “Should I wash this before I fill it.”

I knew what the answer should have been. I just wanted to see what answer I’d get.

“I don’t think anyone’s ever washed it.”

“So, what I heard was ‘yes.’”

When there is a pause in the action there is a tendency, even by management, to just stop and hang out. I am always looking for something to do, because there is always something to be done. It takes a lot to keep a restaurant at peak performance and cleanliness. This morning I took [most] of the sauce containers emptied them, scrubbed them and put the sauces back in an organized and neat fashion. It was obvious they haven’t been cleaned in some time. This, to me, is interesting because it should be getting done on [at least] a weekly basis. Keeping the sauces neat and organized instead of just tossed in the bin should help with some inventory control as well as the practice of first in, first out. Plus, I found several broken packets which not only renders them as waste but also all of the packets that got sauce on them as a result. It seems such an unimportant detail, but you might be surprised at how much of a difference it can make.

Take Care of the Shop and the Shop Will Take Care of You.

There were many things this past weekend that raise so many flags for me. A restaurant manager who basically ignores write-ups. employees just hanging out and doing whatever they want when the two big bosses leave the store. Policies and procedures not being followed. Things not being cleaned. This morning is the perfect example. I opened, so I was one of the first two people there. I walked into a close that was completely unacceptable on so many levels. I spent, at least, the first hour of my morning mentally taking stock of all the things that were not done or were not properly. Some of them being health related things. I was floored. When I did this 25 years ago, if any manager had left the store in that kind of shape there would have been serious hell to pay. I couldn’t believe no one else had a reaction to what I was seeing. Later in the morning I would learn otherwise. The Manager on duty and the other two employees all started griping about things. We all worked for the same franchise at different times and we were all in agreement that none of this would have been ok under their rule.

So, it all worries me. I made it very clear in my interview that I am a ‘Book Guy.’ It is both my strength and my weakness. I will learn The Book and I will follow The Book. And, as a manager or trainer I will do everything I can to make sure that everyone follows The Book. Or, at the very least, make sure they know what The Book says. That way, when it all blows up in their face, they can’t say the didn’t know. And, it will blow up in their face. The procedure is the procedure for a reason - because it works. It works best.

When I worked for The Coffee Company, there was this District Manager who would come around and check on all the Licensee Stores. He would never tell you that you did it wrong. He would never say, “This is the way you have to do it.” Instead, he would say, “Best practice…”

One of the first times he came around, he ordered a tea. The procedure when making the iced teas was to put it in the container and shake it 12 times. [It may have been 15. My memory is a bit hazy.] Whatever. I made his tea and handed it to him. Now, I was in a hurry cause I was busy, and maybe one of us lost count, but when I handed him his tea he said, “Best practice is to chaos the tea 12 times.” That’s when it dawned on me. He was absolutely right. It was the best practice. That’s why it was in The Book. Because it was the ‘Best Practice’ to achieve the desired results. I fell in love with that phrase and I use it as often as I can.

And, yes...The next time that District Manager came to visit, he ordered the exact same tea and ‘just so happened’ to then talk to the kiosk manager at the end of the kiosk nearest the teas. I made his tea. Perhaps a bit over-emphatically. I handed it to him and smiled coyly. As he took it, he smiled back and said, “Yes. I was counting.”

I turned, walking back to my duties and called back to him, “Yes. I know you were.”

This is one of those things I am coming to find I have learned about myself over the course of my last year’s journey. I have a note here somewhere, “The end of Week 7. What have you learned so far?” [I don’t know by what time frame that question is gauged.] However, through this most recent experience of The Job, I have learned that life has been teaching me all along how to be a manager and a trainer. It has been par for the course in almost every food service job.

In high school I worked for two different fast food companies. I was a trainer for both of them. After high school, I moved to a chain restaurant as a server. I quickly became a trainer and then a shift manager and then an assistant. When I worked for my current company previously I went in as a shift manager and quickly became an assistant - in charge of training employees and managers alike. I also was on the franchise training team. I was hired as a trainer for The Coffee Company and I did not indicate any interest in such on my application. [In fact, I was a little miffed when I found out...and how I found out.]

This becomes my weakness because not many people are inclined to just follow The Book. Everyone thinks that their way is better. So, inevitably, I find myself in conflict. That just never ends well.

All of this makes me want to pursue The Rabbit Hole even more. I’ll never be fully satisfied until I’m running the show. Other people’s standards are lower than mine. I need to set the pace. I can give all of that time and energy, devotion and commitment, to a company like The Job, which may or may not go well in the long run, or I can put it into my own business.

For now, this will do.

I do worry that it will get old rather quickly. And, this is why I remind myself frequently that this is a means to an end. For now, it has a purpose. A great purpose. For now, I am far from having anything else to achieve that same purpose. So, day by day and week by week I shall take it.

This is across the board for me right now. I need to just take it all as it comes. I do get restless because I feel like could and should be getting so much more done each day and each week.

I must survive this next week still. This is the current challenge before me. I am already calculating and deciphering, deciding how I can best get through this week financially and reach that pay at the end of the week. 4 days. I see this as my first hurdle. I have t do everything that needs to be done on whatever I have. [And, that is not very much.] But, I put some gas in my tank and if I drive minimally tomorrow, or not at all, then I should be able to juggle that Just Enough to be able to fill my tank late on Thursday night. I should have the groceries I need to do the next several days. It ain’t gourmet eatin’, but it’s eatin’. [Which is certainly better than not.]

My other needs are minimal and I should have Just Enough funds to cover them. Of course, I am still putting out for some clients over the next two days. I have some metal to pick up and I might even try a run to the scrap yard on Tuesday - since I will be right down that way. I’ll also see if, in my travels, I can pick up some quick gigs.

Once I get to this check, the next hurdle - financially, anyway - will be to do as much with it as I can and still be able to get myself to the next one two weeks later. This shouldn’t be terribly hard. I do have a lot of bills and payments to take out of it right off the top, but there should still be enough to get by. Especially if, for two more weeks, I live just as I have been for the past two months - minimally and by the moment. I do need to take a look at just what I have going on with this check before it gets here.

By the time I get to that 3rd pay [notice the number pattern there] I should be solid and ready to rock. If I am prudent [and a little bit lucky] I should be all caught up. I mean, there are still those I would like to repay for their generosity over these months, but the bills/subscriptions should be all paid. Immediate debts should be paid. My work shoes will be paid off. I should have much greater flexibility in what I can do and accomplish.

Outside of finances, I feel I have many hurdles. But, I suppose, one by one, I will get over each of them. I am still trying to maintain and [master] my daily practices, including writing down the experiences of such. But, I also have new ones that I would like to incorporate into my routines. I have tools to craft.

Speaking of crafts, I have a list of projects - both business and personal - that I am chipping, slowly, away at. I feel like I don’t get enough time to focus and I must overcome that somehow. I had a good flow of things prior to my first shift at The Job, but ever once then it has been a bit more challenging.

These are the biggest things on my plate right now. I have a multitude of other projects and efforts ahead of me. Not the least of which is this project itself.

Of course, one of my other hurdles is this darned email...or whatever it is supposed to be. Closure is the best term. I just don’t know how to properly apply it - not in definition, nor in practice.

My final hurdle is the cigarettes. I face this every day. Every day I quit. Sooner or later, every day I start up again. One day will be the day that I quit. I can feel it coming. It may happen when I least expect it...but probably not until I accept it.

All in all, Fellow Travelers…

Day by Day, Step by Step.

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So, without hesitation…

For now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC: Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaand Johnny…

And, those guys, saying, “stay tuned in Fellow Travellers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: ...and freakishness, baby!!