‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true!

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It is…Sunday, December 27, 2020. Time...Reviewing

Theme – Every Move Should Have a Purpose

Lesson – The Greatest Adventure in Life is Living.

Observation – Man is Inherently Good

The Post

So, this is Christmas. Another year over..and a new one just begun.

It’s been such a strange and powerful time. Over the past few weeks, I have started three posts and - due to a variety of reasons - finished none. The Job has been intense and stressful. [Including a string of 5 days - which isn’t typical and came at a very challenging time.] Bit by bit I have been getting organized and settled into life in The Vantasm. It’s not just about living from the van - which is coming soon enough. [Apparently.] But it has also been about being able to be functional - not just on a daily basis, but for hauling and side work and seeing The Princesses…and whatever else may come along. Finances are touch and go. :But when aren’t they?]

The Heavens have been overly active - what with eclipses and flares and Christmas Stars.

And, of course, The Yuletide Season is upon us. [So, my life is a Void.] In fact, It may be the greatest Void in which I have ever found myself.

I

Know

Nothing.

Right this moment - I know nothing about anything.

I do not now where things stand with The Job - if it will change, or even continue.

Even with no changes to The Job, I do not know how I can ever create the income to lift my finances at this point.

I do not now where I will ever find a home, or when…or if.

I do not know when I will see my daughters again [After The New Year , that is. I will see them in the morning and then next week for an overnight adventure.]

The truth is, I’m not even sure if I know who I am, or what it is I am doing in this life.

It is Christmas Eve. Four days into Yule. It is just after The Evening Gate and I am sitting in some shopping center parking lot - waiting to go park and sleep for the night. I’ve been crashing nights at Queen Spooky’s, but being Christmas Eve and all I did not want to crash on that. So, I made arrangements to park in The Putter’s driveway tonight and tomorrow.

It’s raining. Quite a bit, actually. There are the occasional gusts of wind. If it were colder, this would be one hell of a snowstorm and a very white Christmas. They say there may be some snow tomorrow. We’ll see. Ol’ Jack blew into town last week. [And with quite a bit of force, I must say.]

It is still early evening and the parking lot is thinning out as the shops and eateries close up early and everyone rushes home to their impending Holi-Day merriment. For me it has been a rather different, and random , Christmas Eve.

On one hand, it seemed like any other day. I went grocery shopping and worked at tweaking The Vantasm - including some cleaning inside and out. I got gas and hung out with The Putter and juggled my finances - putting things in place as they belong. Yet, I have spent the day listening to Christmas music. This is mostly due to WXPN out of Philadelphia. Every Christmas Eve, from midnight to midnight, they do 24 hours of some of the most random and fun Christmas music. They have traditional favorites and a mixture of exciting randomness. For instance, right this moment I am listening to an actual radio broadcast of It’s a Wonderful Life - with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed reprising their original roles. Earlier today, I was fortunate enough to hear a recording of the original Wanamaker’s light show soundtrack. For those of you fellow travelers who may not be from The Valley, Wanamaker’s was a large local department store, based in Philadelphia. For several decades, the Philadelphia store would present a light show with songs and stories. It was like one giant Lite-Brite wall. I can remember going down to see it several times in my youth. WXPN is always doing stuff like this. In fact, just last week they did an entire Top 2020 songs of All Time [as voted on by the listeners…and you can find the playlist on Spotify.] This station is all about music and the appreciation of it. If I had the money I would definitely contribute to their cause.

I decorated the inside of The Vantasm, making it a little more festive. I received cards and gifts. I gathered small offerings for tomorrow. I was blessed with a brief two-minute visit with the girls. I even called Olde Geistopia and wished a Merry Christmas to Big ‘D’ and Craze.

I was also blessed to have a morning of meditation and contemplation. I had been up early and situated myself in a place to see the sunrise. Sadly, it was not the right place and I will try perching myself in a different spot tomorrow.

[And, in case you were wondering, I AM tracking Santa.]

It has been a strange Christmas Eve. Normally, I would have The Princesses and we would celebrate tonight with dinner and presents and our homemade hot chocolate. Sadly, that is not a possibility this year. Instead, we are getting together on New Years Eve and driving to Christiana, Delaware to spend the night and shop the next day. I didn’t have them last year either. I was at Hoagie’s and it just wasn’t workable.

Instead of my usual Holi-Day merriment, I am sitting in a parking lot in my van…alone. [But, then, I am never truly alone.]

It has been a strange Yule Season as well. I heard whispers from the north as early as the weekend after Thanksgiving and The List would begin. There have been years when I wouldn’t hear anything until Yule was practically here. It was a very different kind of list this year. Normally, it is craft this for that person or give that to this person. This year there has been a lot of financial investment required. Of course, this is the first year that I actually have some money with which to work. Usually, the gifts go to my daughters or parents or folks like The Putters. The gaps are filled in by the random friend or family member here or there. This year the list has seemed random and scattered. I put a list {as I know it to be] on the WTML Facebook page.

The List is almost like a game between me and the Christmas Spirits sometimes. For instance, last year I was instructed to craft something for Big ‘D.’ My ego really didn’t want to do it, but eventually I conceded. Truth is, she was being given one of the nicest things I have crafted in some time. However, I was having so many struggles getting the work done last year. It was coming up on Christmas Eve and I still had lots of work to do across the board. There was no way I would get her gift done in time. I figured it would be OK because I had a gift for Boom-Dee-Ay [someone else to whom I did not care to give a gift] and I could just give that to Big ‘D.’ But, life did what it always does - its own thing - and my ability to deliver the gifts was repeatedly delayed until after I finished that original piece.

This year, the game seems to be more about listening - just taking it as it comes, and accepting it for what it is.

The first two tasks on The List came so close together [and right around the time of the Old Man’s first visit] that I am not sure which was actually the first. But, I’ll pick one.

The first task was, what I am calling, A Christmas Wish. I was inspired to write a post on Facebook that gave my annual Christmas Wish to everyone and anyone.

The second was a gift for someone I know but am not necessarily close with. It was also more than I would usually spend on anyone. My daughters are barely budgeted the same amount this year.

The third was a gift for Big ‘D.’ It was nothing special really - just something cute, whimsical and fun directed at her Spirit. Still, it cost some money. She’ll never know it is from me. I did something similar several years ago and she never knew I was the one who sent it. Because I am the one person she never asked.

Tasks four and five went hand in hand. I was inspired to donate gifts to Toys for Tots - one ‘girl’ toy and one ‘boy’ toy. [I barely pulled that one off, getting it to the drop off just in time.]

Six and Seven were similar to each other. I was to buy a meal for each of two regular customers. Both are in every day. The one is in twice every day. I actually ended up buying both of his meals in one day [because that is what made sense to me] and that seemed to have satisfied the order for both. I was never able to catch up with the other customer to pay for hers. [Technically, though, there is still time before Yule is over. We will see.]

Eight came in the form of a contribution to WXPN. It wasn’t much but it was something.

Nine would be my adventure for tonight’s dinner. Where I am going is where I am needed.

Ten would be Recognition. Again, I was inspired with a writing. So, I posted, on Facebook, my gratitude to those people who have really helped me through this trying year. I couldn’t have gotten this far without them.

Eleven would become a random act of kindness, which would unfold and happen right under my nose, before I even knew what was happening.

Twelve was something for myself. It was a reminder that self-indulgence can be ok. It was also a gesture in recognizing my potential for more and greater, and recognizing my worthiness of having such. The act itself may be nothing more than an affirmation of better things in my life. But, I’ll take that.

That leaves the last one - Number 13 out of 12. [Yes, you read that as correctly as I wrote it.]

[And now it is Christmas Day and I am sitting in Gettysburg, waiting to head to my next stop. This is a strange one in my List. I am both excited as nervous. I do not quite get it yet.]

Overall, I am feeling anxious about something…like life changes…BAM!

So, over the years, I have learned to work with The List - to accept it for what it is and when it is. But, I have also learned to accept the gifts as I received them as well.

For a long time, Christmas was a disappointing experience. Everything became very generic. I wasn’t receiving gifts that moved my spirit. It was all body wash and body spray [which she bought for the girls to give me this year lol.] Anyway, there was never anything that felt personalized - like they knew who I was and wanted to give me something to support that. That’s neither here nor there.

Over time, I came to accept those gifts for what they were. At least I had them when I needed them. [Even if it was almost a full year later.] There was the occasional shirt or jeans or once or twice even a gift card. I learned to be grateful and accept those gifts for what they were.

Then, one year, The List wasn’t so much about what I gave but what I received. 12 Gifts of Spirit. Somewhere I documented that experience. Nonetheless, since then I have come to be more open to gifts from Spirit at this time of year… and I am rarely disappointed.

This year is no exception.

[And now it is the morning after. Life keeps on moving. It is hard to sit still long enough to write - and I will have to break again shortly to go into work.]

The gifts received started shortly after The List began. The Vantasm is a perfect example, for it is twice a gift.

The week after Thanksgiving it was determined that it was time to replace The MattMobile - “Sooner rather than later.”

I found a vehicle but did not have quite enough for the full down payment. I put out a call for help to my Facebook Community. Within minutes there was response. 3 people sent me money, 2 of them sent it and then touched base. So, before I knew it, I had the money I needed…and then some. Gift #1.

The van I have is not the van I was looking at. However, it is 5 years newer [though it is still 10 years old.] It is the perfect vehicle for me and the girls. I have spent the weeks slowly tweaking life into place and it is almost complete. I have what I need to keep on keeping on. I have also taken the time to decorate and add a little personality to it…of course. So, it is a blessing and a gift [#2] to have it.

Also among the gifts received were a $20 gift card for a steakhouse, $30, body wash, deodorant, body spray, 2 -$50 gift cards, and $20.

I also got to take a nice drive on Christmas Day. The destination was Gettysburg and dinner with a wonderful family. The purpose was soul-inspiring. [A double gift?]

But, the greatest gift of all was Christmas morning. Mama Rabbit invited me to Christmas breakfast. We did not tell the girls, but surprised them instead. I should have gotten video of their reactions, but I must say that it is the first real hug I have gotten from Sunshine in some time.

There is still time left in Yule. There is one task on The List that may need completion yet, plus the final one must be worked out. There is a gift received that cannot be known until the end of Yule. The Princesses and I are going away overnight and I am taking them Christmas shopping the next morning. The way this has all come together - funds included - has been a gift as is the time that will be spent. There is also one gift received that has not been touched yet. For my indulgence and self-recognition I bought a lottery ticket. I have yet to scratch it off and I am trying to wait, perhaps until the end of Yule.

There is still much to write - so much on my mind at this time of year - but it is time to go into work.

[And on to Monday evening. I imagine it will be Tuesday morning before I am finished. But, as frustrating as it may be I can not be frustrated. Everything Happens for a Reason - Precise & Perfectly Placed.]

So…there are all of these energies and magicks milling about. It’s a wonder I can keep myself straight. Actually, I can’t. For instance, today at work I just randomly started feeling weird. Not sick. Not hurting. Not bad. Just…different. Then, I remembered it is the Day Before the Cold Moon and I just kind of shrugged it off. Tomorrow could be even more interesting. Then it is on to Wednesday which is the Day After and my next day off.

I have the usual whatnots to tend to - laundry and such. I also have to get the van unloaded and cleaned up for the overnight with The Princesses. Then, Thursday [another Day Before,] we are off and running on a two day adventure. At that point, Yule comes to a close, except for The Day After on Saturday.

As I have stated, it really has been a good Yule this far. I have received many gifts, beyond what I have already listed. For example, 10 pounds of stainless steel. This may not seem like much of a gift, especially not for Yule, but it is a gift. It is a blessing. It will get scrapped and that will be finances more than I had before - even if it is only $5. The truth is , my life is full of blessings and gifts. This is part of what I want to focus on.

But, before I do, let me try one more time to purge my mind and bring things up to speed. Then, when the time is right - between tonight and tomorrow - I can focus on what I wish to focus on. Nothing should shift or change in the hours in between. This has been one of the challenges lately. I have been constantly on the go in one way shape or form. Things have been shifting and changing on a daily basis - most especially in regards to The List. But, this is to be expected. Then, when I do try to write, there is more to catch you up on, Fellow Travelers.

Let’s start with The List. To my knowledge, it is complete, except for The Big ‘Un. However, that requires Big ‘D’s permission and cooperation. So, obviously, that is going through the inevitable and obligatory rigamarole.

In regards to The Gifts Received, as I have said, there have been many. A lot of them will help form the trip with the girls. There was some cash, which was added to my daily pot, so there is a very slight cushion there overall. There were some gift cards that have been set aside for any possible use or need along the way. This will either help me spare some of my funds put aside, so that I can make it to the next pay, or I will use them to pad the trip itself, so that we can fully enjoy ourselves. Only Time Will Tell.

I have yet to scratch the ticket. I know tonight is not the night, so I am not worried about temptation. At this point, it looks as though I will just wait until Friday night after I drop the girls off and I have settled into whatever spot I am going to park for the night. I figure, by then Yule will be coming to an official close and it is time to look toward the year ahead.

The year ahead could be interesting. I did try to step down at The Job. I don’t think management is for me. I was ‘persuaded’ to give it a few weeks and see how things might shift. I didn’t need much persuading. The timing was perfect. I already needed a few weeks to straighten other things out that might change things at The Job anyway. There is a choice to be made. I don’t want to say anything about it right now. Perhaps it will wait for a New Year’s post.

I think that brings everything to a holding pattern. [In the time I was writing this, The Big ‘Un’s status changed to - I have been put on hold until…sometime.] So, now when I write again, I can write on why I am here this time around.

It has been quite a year all across the board. So much has happened…and not happened. So much has changed and so much has stayed the same. I thought Yule might be a good time for -

A Year in Review

The Totems & Archetypes

**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**

None mentioned this week. [That doesn’t mean they weren’t there.]