S12EP3: Yultide Quest - Life in Retrograde

Hey, gang! Welcome to my life – where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. 

DOC: Velcum To My Life ees a prochect, un experiment in Life unt ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise ees zat life ees experiential, unt zat you can, unt do, experience ze life you choose. It ees based on Ze Veel of Life unt Ze ARTs for Ze New Millennium as life building tools. Ja, it’s true! 

WALT: Welcome to my Life is a Geist…House Players Production, in association with the Center for Creative Inspirationalism. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a ‘Shout-Out’ to the following for their ongoing, and oft-times unknowing, inspiration and support:

Princess Cuddlebug

Princess Sunshine

Company

The Shaman

The Pillar

F’n Bob

The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan

The Warden

FaeriePrincess

Professor Siggy Chong

Sparky Wentz-eclaus

The VanMan and General Ralph Glossop, and Craze (may they R.I.P.)

The Messengers of The Galactic Federation

 Looch

BJ & The Bull

Bert-On

The Baker of the Cornbread

Andy Pandy

The Mudder

Zason

St. Diane & You (4)

Brother John & Sister Jen

The Bee Man

Spooky Queen

Boom-Boom Snuffbox

The Nameless One

Tim-Bo

The Cousins

The Rox

PDT

Sir Richard Slouch

The Wix-ians

The Socialite

The Village of Idiots

Piz-Niffer

Dancing Queen

Downtown Encyclopedia Brown

Chicken Witch

Dick Pointer

Soup, the Son

The Legendary Pink Elephants

Baby-Mama Rabbit

Wisconsin Belle

The Babes

Aaaand, of course, a very generous sponsor who (not-so-much) wishes to remain anonymous.

It is…Sunday, November 26, Two-Thousand and Twenty-Free. Time...???

Theme – Trust in The lord Your G-d with all Your Might

I wanted to put this as the Lesson but I can’t say anything has happened to secure it’s place there. Still, I have heard these words over and over for the past several days. Perhaps it will become a Lesson soon.

Lesson – I am a Beacon of Hope

I don’t even like looking at those words. They sound so much fuller of ego than I mean them. I don’t think that much of myself, but I get the point. Basically, if I can live my impoverished life, taking all the crap that The Universe is constantly throwing at me – things going wrong or not working when I want them to, etc. – and actually make something out of it, keep on going, then anyone can. I would hope my struggles are an inspiration to people. I would hope that they can see Anything is Possible. I would hope that it all fills them with hope for their own lives.

Observation – I Love Love

It’s true. I do. I love Love. I love the idea of Love. I love stories of Love. I love first Love, new Love, old Love, long-lost Love. It lifts me up, fills my soul. It’s not something I will have in my life at this point. But, I can live vicariously just fine.

The Post

Sunday, November 26, 2023; 1152

I should be out on the road. I was out on the road – very briefly. I do not feel well. I’m in and out of the bathroom. I have such a headache that I can’t see straight and I feel very weak. I took the boy to work and started out. I got one gig in and that was rough.

That was also when I found another Christmas tree. I tried to get all of the seats down to take it in the car but could not find the lever to put the front passenger seat down. It ended up taking up so much room in The Rocket that I couldn’t work again till I dropped it off at home.

[Side Note: Just got up to roll a cigarette and tries to move some Christmas stuff around. It lasted about 5 minutes and I had to sit down again.]

Anyway, I am seeing the tree as Spirit’s way of sending me back home. There had been whispers the whole time, “Go home. Go home. Go home.” I fought and argued. I need the money. But then when don’t I? Even when I got the tree I was trying to get it in The Rocket so that I could keep working. That didn’t happen.

To a certain degree I get it because even sitting here trying to write I am struggling to hold myself up.

Everything Happens for a Reason.

So, at this point I am just going to slowly work my way through my day. I am going to start by getting this finished so it can get posted. Then I am going to mill about – try to finish the little bit of Christmas decorations I have. Try to get the house straightened and cleaned up a bit.

I basically have myself together for the morning. So, I am going to just try to get myself reset and start the new week fresh. I will start it very far behind but I will figure it out as I go.

It’s so curious to me. Everything seems to be working backwards ever since this Quest began. When I saw a Quest was on I was hoping it was leading somewhere better. Of course, it is not over yet.

I did get the tree all figured out last night. It is up and decorated and working. It took a lot out of me. I’m willing to suspect that pop took over my body and decorated the tree. [Which would actually explain a lot of what I am feeling today.]

I’m not sure what else to write at the moment.

Saturday, November 25, 2023; 1324

It’s funny how life goes sometimes. I find myself home and I am fairly certain this is where I will stay – except for taking The Boy to The Theatre and then picking him up later.

The morning was kind of crappy. I found myself returning from a job and really needing to go to the bathroom. I was going to pass by Olde Geistopia, so I called ahead and told them I was going to stop. Once there, everything shifted.

I collected some Christmas things – lights, a cord, a stocking. This is all kind of significant. One of my thoughts from this morning was that I wasn’t feeling very Christmasy all of a sudden. I was lacking some of the magick. This helped with that.

We needed one more stocking. The Princesses and I had 3 but now there are 4 of us. The stocking I got at Olde Geistopia is my first stocking. I have had it since my first Christmas in 1972. So that will now go on the walk for me and The Boy can inherit my Superman stocking until he decides to find something else.

The cord I got is pretty much what I just bought this morning, only a bit shorter. [Which is fine.] I tested it. It works. I will return the other when it comes tomorrow. It’s funny to me too because I said this morning it was my natural inclination to wait till tonight. I suppose I should have. It’s ok. I’ve never done an Amazon return. Now I will have a new experience.

But, also, now I can do the tree. I think this is where me remaining home tonight comes in. I don’t have much to put on the tree and it won’t take long. It will make up for not being able to do it on Thursday. I just need the tree done.

Then there were 2 strands of indoor/outdoor lights. I have to figure out what I want to do with them. The strand I have out there right now is not really for outdoors. However, I do not know that these would adequately replace those either. I may do one strand outside and one in. I may actually put them on the tree. We will see. Those are the current wild card.

In another attempt to regain my Christmas oomph I decided to actively pursue my ornaments. Making ornaments is about the best I can hope for at this point. I have some pieces cut that I was going to use for particular ornaments but I can use them to make sure everyone who needs a gift gets a gift.

A few days ago, I would have told you I wasn’t sure I was going to even try. The thought was stressing me. Today, as I said, I decided to give it a go. I cannot find the bucket containing the pieces that I cut. Add that to the list of what I think tonight is going to be.

So for now I am off and The Quest is on.

0603

Obviously, I did not get the chance to write again on Thursday. And I don’t know what yesterday was. Ah well. Such is the course of any Holi-Day.

I got most of my Christmas decorations out. I don’t have much. I never needed a lot. At Olde Geistopia I only had the girls’ room, the hallway and a little bit in the family room. There was no need for them when I was homeless. The Nest was basically one room to decorate so it took nothing. Last year, even being in The Homestead, I had no furniture or places to put decorations, so what I had seemed like plenty. This year, the same stuff feels almost disappointing.

I did manage to put a little bit of Christmas in every room. Just Enough. I even [by way of slightly altering the definition and understanding] managed to put ‘a tree’ in every room. Some are tradional, or offtakes of traditional – the living room, the beer cap tree, the 12 days of Christmas tree. Some are ornamental – little metal decorations or wooden trees I made. At last one is nothing more than an image.

Still…there is a tree in every room.

I did not get my tree decorated though. We hit a slight snag. The tree is a pre-lit tree. We have managed to find [I believe] all of the male plugs and almost none of the female. I found a female on the base [to plug the first string into] and I found a female at the very top [assumedly for a star or topper.] Since then I have found but only 2 more. 1 is already in use.

I am trying to figure out ways around this. Unfortunately, all of my ideas have involved strands of lights or cords that run off of the tree to some outlet or another, and have therefore been thwarted by the same thing.

My tree has the option of spinning. Not fast, obviously. Just a slow Department Store Window kind of spin. So, any dangling or extended cords would wrap around the tree. Now I know what you are thinking, Fellow Travelers – the tree doesn’t have to spin.

The fuck it don’t.

Have you met me? Have you learned nothing about me? If I have a tree with the option of spinning, sure as shit that thing is going to spin – at least from time to time and most certainly on Christmas Day. Nonetheless, I am still cyphering ideas and in the meantime I have reached out to the guy who gave us the tree and he is finding out what he can.

My Christmas Movie Quest may be coming to a quick close. I find the list is narrowing itself down to movies that I must either rent or buy in order to watch. [I’ve already (temporarily) added a subscription to watch some.] As much as I want to see this Quest through [mostly so I have it mastered for next season] I can’t be spending money like that at the moment. Especially considering…

UPDATE: I just ordered a 15-ft 9 outlet green extension cord [for indoor lights and Christmas trees] off of Amazon. It was under $9. I just don’t really have the $9 to spend at the moment. I’m not usually so quick to act in such situations but now…problem solved.

Once again I have a thousand things on my mind. All of which I wish to write about but I do not have the time to sit here and write like that. I do not have the time to give that much of my mental focus over. I wish I did.

[And…I should be very, very careful how often I use that word. Especially during this season.]

I have thoughts on my daughters – on family, on tradition, on growing up, on love and loss.

I have thoughts on the world – our perceptions, the primitiveness of our advancements, religion, science, and world peace.

I have thoughts on Faith and Divinity.

I have thoughts. So many thoughts. From the moment I wake to the moment I pass out from mental exhaustion. I have thoughts. The above list is only a list of my thoughts in the last 30-60 minutes. It is a constant, never-ending train of thoughts, and the track goes everywhere.

For now, I must begin to get into my day. Not only is it getting to be that time, but I am feeling the need for movement and activity. So much, in fact, that if The Boy weren’t home and sleeping I would most likely sing and dance the rest of my way through the morning.

Thursday, November 23, 2023; 0537

Thanksgiving Day.

My instructions for yesterday were to just get through the day. The main Goal was to make what I needed to cover my ass for today. If I made extra – great! I did make a little extra, but I spent most of it at the store. This is why I was trying to avoid the store, but I did need a thing or two.

So, I made my day and got myself home.

I have a day ahead of me. I want to get the Christmas decorating done, which will most likely involve cleaning. I also just want to chill into the vibe of Gratefulness.

I don’t know. These last two days, I sit down to write, thinking I have so much to say. Then when I am actually here I can’t think of anything.

Wednesday, November 22, 2023; 1817

I’m excited.

I’m ready for this Holi-day. I need this kind of groove. It does a spirit good. I am slowly working my way into it. I can’t quite get a good run on it until there is silence and stillness within The Homestead. This means I can’t really jump on that wave until the kids go to bed.

That’s ok though. I have plenty of little things to do and tweak at and I have [just under] 36 hours. 1800 tonight until 0600 Friday. I am sort of disconnecting from everything and just letting life flow on its own.

I do have things I want to do. The truth is I have a list that I am sure is longer than what I can actually get done. But we will see how it goes. My main focus above all else is Christmas decorating, especially the tree. I don’t have a lot to work with – especially for the tree – so it shouldn’t take too long. I also want to watch several Christmas movies. I’m sort of dedicating tomorrow to dad. He always did the tree. So as I do the tree I am going to watch It’s a Wonderful Life, which was his favorite Christmas movie. I also plan on watching Home Alone and The Man in The Santa Claus Suit – which were also favorites.

Well, I really don’t know what to say at the moment. If I think of things later, I will write some more.

Tuesday, November 21, 2023; 2049

It wasn’t quite the day I wanted, nor the day I needed. In fact, it came to stop somewhere in between – Just Enough. I made what I needed to cover my ass, plus some. It just wasn’t the extra I was shooting for.

At this point, I really do not see how I will make my week financially. Of course, Anything is Possible. I will make rent and my gas and a few very small obligations. But there are two things I will most likely have to skip and deal with later.

The plan for tomorrow is to make Just Enough to cover a few lil things. From there I am winging it.

I’m kind of in shut down mode. I am very much looking forward to Thursday. Honestly, I don’t want to keep saying the same thing over and over again. But it is all I can think when I silence myself. Something is going on. Something is brewing.

And, as always, there are so many thoughts and revelations in any one given day.

I feel good though.

0705

I’m running a lil off schedule this morning. [There’s a surprise.] I just wanted to take a moment and touch base, for consistency’s sake.

Last night after I wrote, I chilled out a bit. I hit such a beautiful level of Zen. It was almost trippy. I felt so connected to the whole of the Universe. I was having so many random flashbacks of memories. In fact, it was so intense that I wondered if it was what is meant by, “your life flashing before your eyes.”

I slept good. I got up and have been on the go all morning so far. I fixed my lunch and my coffee. I washed dishes and put some away. I moved some things around to start making room for the Xmas tree. [I did that on purpose. If we’re friends on FB you should get it.]

I keep having this feeling that there is money somewhere. Just waiting. I feel that often and I don’t really know what to make of it. At one time, I would let it cloud my mind with an overabundance of naïve hope. Of course, I don’t want to ignore it all together either. So I try to keep a healthy balance of acknowledgement and detachment. But when I say I “feel” it, I mean I feel it deep in my body.

I think those are all the thoughts that are the thoughts for now. I need to finish getting ready and hit this day.

Monday, November 20, 2023; 2053

I didn’t think I was going to get a chance to write today. I’m sort of forcing myself to at this point. I’m glad I am. It was quite a day once more. I don’t even know how to process it.

I went out to work today because Thursday is Thanksgiving and there will be little to no work that day. I didn’t rush myself out the door. It is Monday after all. I was out before 0930. It all started out so simple.

I wanted to try to hit the tobacco store before I got started in my day. [Though I was planning on turning on the apps just in case.] Part of my plan today was to get all of my miscellany out of the way. I don’t want to have to deal with stores and chaos later in the week. So, tobacco store first.

On my way in that direction, I decided that I should probably stop and check the air in my tires. It has been some time. I stopped at my regular place. They have 2 air pumps. The one I usually use was covered in a bag. No biggie. I get myself all situated and start the first tire and it seems that the pump was letting air out of the tires. [It seemed.]

With a bit of a huff, I recapped my tires and decided I would go to another location. [I only get air at certain places because I absolutely will not pay for air.] OK. No biggie. I can work with this. I continued to the tobacco store. I took care of my business and left.

I decided that since I was so close and the morning was already taking strange turns, that I would take a moment and run The Rocket through the wash. Small line. No big deal. I’m chillin’ through this day – A Fool for Faith.

Since I had to head off for the air, I decided that on the way I would stop and get gas. Again – only certain places. This time it is because I use a cash back app. So, I go where the money flow. Easy-peasy. [Mostly.] Now, I get to the next place for air, only to find they are doing tank work and that whole half of the lot is fenced off.

Ugh!

Not so smug now. I huffed a bit more and shrugged it off. I had two other options. In the meantime, I would stop at the Club Store and get what I needed there. Eventually, with a lot of driving here and there, plus a stop at The Cave to do this and that quick, I was ready to work. Just about 1030-1045.

I was keeping myself together through the chaos of the morning. A Fool for Faith. If it was happening, then it was supposed to happen. I still felt good and upbeat and positive. I felt ready to take on my day.

This is a tough week for me and I have been fiddling with the numbers for days. No matter what I do, I am going to fall short. I spent my morning spinning things around – calculating and cyphering – trying to figure out how I was going to do this, how much I needed when and each day. The numbers are outrageous this week and I do not see a way that I can actually meet them.

I think this put stress on my mind. My day changed. I don’t know when or how or why. I don’t know what shifted. I went from being in such a good mood and things flowing smoothly – even the shit that was working backwards on me – to being stressed and irritable and cloudy-headed. Nothing was going right. By 1330, I was giving up on the day. I headed to Wally World and got my groceries for the week then headed home.

Interestingly enough, I made my day. Somehow. It was a variety of things. I’m doing pet care for Baker this week over the holiday. She sent me that payment. That was most of my day. [In my original plan for the week I wasn’t going to count this money, but that is not an option at the moment.] I made enough over lunch to close the gap. I spent less on gas and groceries today than I had budgeted.

I came home and just kinda crumbled for a moment. I did get myself together and worked on some of my back logged administrative stuff. I’ve continued my Christmas Movie Journey. I also took a trek to Bert-on’s. He had two small dressers for me. I’ve been trying to get them for months. Now I have them.

A couple thoughts for the day. First – Once again, it seems to me that The Universe is very much making a point that I need to take Mondays off. They just don’t go well. I know people look at me funny when I talk like this. But it’s true. The pattern is obvious. Sooner or later I am going to have to give in to the notion. All I can say is than G-d that Christmas and New years are on Mondays.

Second – A Quest is definitely on. I know I keep saying that, but that’s because I keep noticing it. I don’t know what it is about. I can’t even guess at when it may see conclusion.

If you’re not already there, go to the Welcome to my Life Facebook page – WTML. Or the YouTube channel – WelcomeToMyLife08. You can also find me on Facebook under Rev. Matt.

Wherever you are and whenever you are – Like, Comment, and Share – we’re on a Journey and it takes you to get there.

So, without hesitation, for now and for always, from here in Geistopia, this is your beloved Rev…

WALT: And Walt…

DOC:  Unt Doc…

JOHNNY: Aaaaand Johnny…

And those guys, saying, “Stay Tuned-In, Fellow Travelers,” and wishing you Peace, Love, Light…

WALT: And Freakishness, Baby.

The Totems & Archetypes

**from Ted Andrews’ Animal Speak**

There are no Totems recorded this week.